Whew, last one. We'd like to point out a couple of the pictures above. First, we enjoyed choosing a picture of Tony Clark for the D-Backs one, considering he's the opposite of a Diamondback this year. Second: Steve Finley is on the Rockies? Wow!

Anyway, the picks:

1. Arizona Diamondbacks. If Randy Johnson is even slightly healthy, they could have the best record in the National League.
2. Los Angeles Dodgers. Boy, love that Juan Pierre. Really.
3. San Diego Padres. Nothing is better than when they wear the camo uniforms.
4. Colorado Rockies. Another of our perpetual sleeper teams that never comes through.
5. San Francisco Giants. Bonds will end his career — maybe — on a last place team. Makes sense.

All right, can you fire yourself up for one more round of predictions? Come on, we know you can!

Look, guys: We didn't pick the Cardinals! (We still think they'll win the wild card.) Yes, our flirtation with the Brewers continues; we actually picked them to win the wild card at midseason last year. So there's that.

1. Milwaukee Brewers. Best pitching staff in the division, with potential for big power. We're scared.
2. St. Louis Cardinals. Everyone's concerned about the rotation, but we think that'll be fine; we're far more concerned about that, ugh, outfield.
3. Chicago Cubs. Seriously, they should just cut Wood and Prior right now. Everyone will feel better.
4. Houston Astros. We think this might be the worst Astros team of the last few years. We almost wanted to put them behind the Reds.
5. Cincinnati Reds. Boy, Ken Griffey has just been a godsend, hasn't he?
6. Pittsburgh Pirates. If we were more of a real man, we'd act on our hunch about this team. But we're not.

See? No Cardinals! No reverse jinx! Nope! Tell us what you think, if you're more of men and women than we are. And you are.

We should probably warn you: The Phillies are one of those teams we pick to win the National League East a lot. If you haven't noticed, they haven't won the NL East in a long, long time. But we're gonna try again anyway.

1. Philadelphia Phillies. That lineup is monstrous, and that rotation has some gumption to it. We think if they put Moyer in the bullpen, he'd pitch until he's 80.
2. New York Mets. You have to root for Pedro to come back, someday. Not that we don't get ecstatic about watching John Maine pitch.
3. Florida Marlins. We're not so sure Joe Girardi is the only reason these guys came on; remember how fun they were to watch at the end of last year.
4. Atlanta Braves. The dam has been opened; it might be a while until we see them in the playofs again.
5. Washington Nationals. The most fun thing to do is to watch the Presidents race anyway.

You up for some predictions? We bet you are.

All right, last one of the day until tomorrow ... we think this is actually the easiest division to pick, which is why, obviously, we're going to have it entirely wrong.

1. Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim. That pitching staff is a little crazy, and hey, look, it's Gary Matthews. Nice to have you here, man!
2. Texas Rangers. If the Rangers win the World Series this year, Showalter's officially hanging himself.
3. Oakland Athletics. We can see things taking a bad turn this year, though we still hope they enjoy all the ghost-riding.
4. Seattle Mariners. It's cute that they keep playing, it really is.

All right, take us home ... big day tomorrow, so play all night and rest up.

Everyone says it's the toughest division in baseball, but we think it's just the mostly hotly contested: You could pretty much interchange any of those top four teams and not sounds like a fool. But those Royals ...

Here's last year's predictions. And here's this year's:

1. Chicago White Sox. If this doesn't happen, and the ChiSox end up on the other end of this spectrum, Mr. Ozzie could be in trouble, and that would be a sad day.
2. Detroit Tigers. It's so cute when Gary Sheffield pretends to play nice for a little while.
3. Cleveland Indians. We will no longer believe in this team, which is probably why they'll win it all this year.
4. Minnesota Twins. Yep, that really is Sidney Ponson.
5. Kansas City Royals. As much as we'd love to believe ...

All right, whaddya got? We suspect you think we have the Twins too low, and you're probably right.

All right, whether you're ready for it or not, baseball is starting Sunday night. (The Mets will watch the Cardinals raise their World Series title flag. The Cardinals won the World Series last year.) The full slate of games kick off Monday, so we figured it was time to start previewing some divisions. Three today, three tomorrow, with hopefully your predictions as well, because, as you all know, we're terrible at predictions.

Anyway, we're doing the AL today, starting with the AL East. Here's last year's predictions.

1. New York Yankees. Carl Pavano's winning 23 games and the Cy Young. And then he will never pitch again.
2. Boston Red Sox. Look, in that picture, Dice-K unleashes his new "levitation ball." So many cool things in Japan.
3. Toronto Blue Jays. Frank Thomas looks so weird in a Blue Jays uniform; not that he particularly looks all that great in anything.
4. Baltimore Orioles. If Sammy Sosa hits 40 homers this year, we do not blame Baltimore fans for whomever they decide to punch.
5. Tampa Bay Devil Rays. boom bitch.

So come on, everybody ... it's baseball season! Really!

• 1. They Drink From A Different Trough. In a game against the Chicago Cubs in July of 1997, the Marlins' Darren Daulton — who was pretty awesome on ESPN last night, wasn't he? — got the game-winning hit, and claimed afterwards that it wasn't really him that hit the ball, saying that the experience "awakened me to other realms." Since then Daulton has devised his own system of metaphysics, and claims that he can travel in time, fly, and tell the future. Daulton predicts that the world will end on December 21, 2012, at 1:11 a.m., which is the last date on the Mayan calendar. In the meantime, though, he says he would like a chance to manage a Major League team.

• 2. They Remember Little League More Vividly Than Most. The Marlins started six rookies on opening day this season, the first time in modern history that a Major League team has started that many.

• 3. They Throw Out The Baby Name Book And Go With Their Gut. Pitcher Joe Borowski named his son Blaze. Great name for a future Major League hurler, or a fireman, but pretty embarrassing if he turns out to be anything else.

• 4. Their Cookouts Are Probably More Interesting Than Yours. Left-Fielder Chris Aguila is a native of Reno, Nev., where he learned the Polynesian Fire Knife Dance, which he still performs with a group during the off-season.

• 1. Cincinnati Reds. Pete Rose was not responsible for the first major ban imposed on the Cincinnati Reds. In 1880, the Cincinnati Red Stockings were expelled from the National League for ten years due to their insistence on selling beer at the ballpark, and for playing Sunday games. Upon their readmittance to the National League, the team shortened their name to the Reds, due in part to the success of the National League's Boston Red Stockings prior to and during Cincinnati's absence. Every team in baseball now sells beer at the park and plays on Sundays, making this the only instance in history in which Cincinnati was ahead of its time about anything. — (thanks to Annie DiMario).

• 2. Minnesota Twins. On July 17, 1990, Gary Gaetti and the Twins recorded two triple plays against the Red Sox at Fenway Park. In the fourth inning, with the bases loaded, Gaetti went 5-4-3 on a ground ball hit by former teammate Tom Brunansky. In the eighth, with runners on first and second, Jody Reed grounded to Gaetti, who again stepped on third, fired to shortstop Al Newman at second, who relayed to first for the triple play. Despite the defensive gems, the Twins lost, 1-0. The twin triple plays were a major league record and ran Gaetti's personal total to five. — (thanks to Anil Adyanthaya).

• 3. Toronto Blue Jays. First baseman Shea Hillenbrand lives in a suburb of Toronto in a trailer. This is no joke. The guy is a complete lunatic. — (thanks to Rich Niman)

• 4. Texas Rangers. Steroid connection? Jose Canseco came to the Rangers at the end of the 1992 season, where he met a young Rafael Palmeiro. Palmeiro had averaged less than 14 home runs per season before meeting Canseco, but would average 38 afterwards in seasons where he played more than 140 games. — (thanks to Fennis).

• 1. They Are Featured On MLB.com, And Amazon.com. Pitcher Miguel Batista is known for his love of poetry and philosophy and has written two books; a collection of poetry in Spanish entitled Sentimientos en Blanco y Negro, and a crime thriller in English entitled Through the Eyes of the Law. The latter is about the hunt for a serial killer.

• 2. They Would Rather Give Than Receive. December 28, 1998: The Diamondbacks traded Karim Garcia to the Detroit Tigers for Luis Gonzalez and cash. Key phrase: "And cash." Merry belated Christmas, Arizona. — (thanks to Matt Sussman).

• 3. They Are Kind Of Wobbly On The Mound. In addition to having Tommy John surgery last year, pitcher Jason Grimsley only has nine toes. He lost his left big toe in a motorcycle accident at age 12.

• 4. They Know Crazy. Most know the story of "El Duque," Orlando Hernandez, the Diamondbacks pitcher who left his native Cuba and was picked up by the Bahamian Coast Guard three days after landing on the Caribbean Island of Anguilla Cay. But did you know that he then took up residency in Costa Rica, where he worked briefly as a rehabilitation therapist in a psychiatric hospital?

• 1. They Will Get You To The Final Four. Pitcher Shawn Camp is a proud graduate of George Mason University. But he showed none of that Basketball Mojo in his first season with the Devil Rays last year. Here's what the team site has to say about him: "Although Camp has good stuff, he failed to put everything together for most of the season. A middle reliever, he showed improvement during September. Left-handers hammered him for a .407 average." When your own team site uses terms like "hammered," that's bad.

• 2. They Will Never Get Scurvy. The official Devil Rays team site is cracking us up. Here is their bio information, in its entirety, on pitcher Jesus Colome: "Is the youngest of eight children ... Sold fruit as a youth in his native San Pedro de Macoris."

• 3. Don't Accept Their Challenge To A Basketball Pickup Game. It's A Trick! Pitcher Mark Hendrickson (6-foot-9, 230) played four seasons in the NBA with the 76ers, Kings, Nets and Cavaliers, from 1996-2000, averaging 3.3 points and 2.8 rebounds in his 114-game career (better than us). He was a career 80.2 percent free throw shooter (way better than us), and was a two-time All-Pac-10 center for Washington State.

• 4. They Are Beloved By Jimmy Fallon Fans (Both Of Them). The Devil Rays have never made the playoffs, but have seen them vicariously in the movies. In the film Fever Pitch, the scene in which Drew Barrymore runs across the field to where Jimmy Fallon is sitting, near the Red Sox dugout, was filmed after a game between the Red Sox and Devil Rays, with about half the crowd staying after to be extras. The September 16, 2004 game was won by Boston, 11-4.

(Tomorrow: The Arizona Diamondbacks)

• 1. Why Your Hometown Columnist Doesn't Suck. Center fielder David Newhan's father, Ross Newhan, is the longtime baseball writer for the Los Angeles Times and is a member of the writer's wing of the Baseball Hall of Fame. He is a winner of the J.G. Taylor Spink Award.

• 2. When the Sun's Comin' Up They Got Cakes On the Griddle. John Denver lives on at Camden Yards: It's been an Orioles tradition since 1980 to play Denver's Thank God I'm a Country Boy after Take Me Out to the Ballgame during the seventh inning stretch. During the bridge of the song, in which Denver holds a long note, fans yell "Ooooooooh!" in honor of the O in Orioles. One time this didn't happen: During the filming of Major League II (1994), a movie about the Cleveland Indians, which was actually filmed at Camden Yards.

• 3. Fans Want Them To Flip The Bird. Some ardent Orioles' fans feel executives should reconsider switching the team's ornithologically correct cap to the classic smiling bird head hat. The old caps literally smiled on the Orioles as they won six division titles and three World Championships wearing them from 1966-1988. During that 22-year period the team even sported the highest winning percentage in the league. Since switching to the plainer bird caps in 1989, the Orioles have had 12 losing seasons over the past 17 years, including sub-.500 teams the past eight straight seasons. — (thanks to Shane Igoe).

• 4. They Will Kick Your Ass In Raquetball. Jeff Conine is a world-class racquetball player who won the 1985 Junior National Championships and has participated in several pro tournaments. But his wife, Cindy, may be even better. They won the 1999 U.S. National Doubles Racquetball Championship 25-and-over mixed doubles title. Cindy is a two-time national doubles champion and won the silver medal in women's doubles at the 1993 U.S. Olympic Festival in San Antonio.

(Tomorrow: The Minnesota Twins)

It is important to point out, before we start predicting our final division, that we have picked a team other than the Braves to win the division for five consecutive years. As if you needed any more assurance that our predictions are always wrong.

1. Philadelphia Phillies. They kind of have a bit of a White Sox feel, we think. A team that has underachieved for a few years, finally putting it all together. This is called a "reach."
2. New York Mets. We still don't quite understand why Aaron Heilman isn't in the rotation, but that was probably too wonky of a comment for Deadspin. We still hope they end up getting Benitez back.
3. Atlanta Braves. This is the year. Totally!
4. Florida Marlins. Let's make this clear: The manager is six years younger than Julio Franco.
5. Washington Nationals. Dontcha kinda get the feeling that everything is about to completely collapse here? We get that feeling.

These posts stay on the site forever, so make your predictions in the comments. That way, in six months, you can show off how smart you were.

• 1. They Get Things Off To A Rollicking Start. Roger Mason is the only pitcher in major league history to have surrendered home runs to the first three batters of a game. It happened in San Diego on April 13, 1987. He started for the Giants. The first three Padres he faced were Marvell Wynne, Tony Gwynn and John Kruk, and he gave up a dinger to each. — (Thanks to Greg Frith)

• 2. They Bare All. In his first home game as the Padres' new owner in 1974, Ray Kroc grabbed the public address system microphone and apologized to fans for the poor performance of the team, saying, "I've never seen such stupid ballplaying in my life." Just then a streaker raced across the field, eluding security personnel, prompting Kroc to shout "Throw him in jail!" It was Kroc who brought the world the Padres' brown-and-mustard pullover uniforms which have since gone down as the worst uniforms in the history of sports.

• 3. They Have Friends In Low Places. Center field Mike Cameron makes contributions to the Garth Brooks Teammates for Kids Foundation for each base he steals during the season. It's a generous gesture by Cameron, and also by Brooks, who tried out for the Padres during spring training in 1998 and was cut.

• 4. When They Say 'Stay In School,' They Mean You. Pitcher Shawn Estes, an active member of the San Diego area "Stay in School" program, turned down a scholarship offer from Stanford University to sign with the Mariners in 1991.

(Monday: The Baltimore Orioles)

By the way, if any San Diego residents happen to be heading to Petco for the Padres-Giants game on Monday, we'd love to hear from you. We're curious how the Bonds reception goes.)

Obviously, the landscape of the American League East obviously changed dramatically yesterday, but we're gonna go ahead and try to forecast matters anyway. It's hard, but we must tredge forward, regardless. We must stay strong. Some bad predictions:

1. Boston Red Sox. We kind of have a feeling Manny Ramirez is going to knock in 160 runs this year. Plus, Coco Crisp raps.
2. New York Yankees. What if A-Rod turns out to be great in the clutch and the Yankees still don't make the playoffs? Who dies then?
3. Toronto Blue Jays. A.J. Burnett is already hurt. This is going to be ugly.
4. Tampa Bay Devil Rays. They're out of last! They're out of last!
5. Baltimore Orioles. We would raise them a spot of Brian Roberts would change his first name to "Bip."

So, you got thoughts on this? We bet you do. Bring it, in the comments.

You know what? This might sound kind of crazy, but we think it's possible that the NL West might not be any better than it was last year. The only way there's any team better than last year's Padres is if Los Steroido somehow stays healthy (and eligible) all season ... and even then we're kind of pushing it. Our prediction reflects that possiblity.

By the way, there are catchers in this division named "Yorvit" and "Dioner." So you know.

1. San Francisco Giants. Bonds would break Hank Aaron's record and win the World Series just to piss everybody off.
2. San Diego Padres. We have a feeling Mike Piazza won't have to call any "I'm not gay, I swear!" press conferences in San Diego.
3. Los Angeles Dodgers. Well, at least there aren't any of those damn STAT NERDS hanging around here anymore! Only real men here in Los Angeles!
4. Colorado Rockies. We wouldn't put a surprise past these guys; they were the best team in the division for the last two months.
5. Arizona Diamondbacks. Someday, the Buzzsaw shall reign supreme over Arizona! It shall happen!

Give us yours, buckos, if you aren't some kind of wuss.

By the way: Someday Ichiro is going to do something insane. Something about him makes us think there are inner demons we don't know about. If you're up for some dime-store psychiatry.

1. Oakland Athletics. We think this might be the best A's team since Billy Beane took over. And fortunately, there aren't enough fans around to piss off MIlton Bradley.
2. Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim. Doesn't it seem like Garrett Anderson should have been playing in the '80s? He seems like an '80s type of guy.
3. Texas Rangers. Brad Wilkerson is our hot fantasy pick. Fantasy baseball.
4. Seattle Mariners. Do you guys realize they signed Kevin Appier this offseason? That makes us extremely happy.

OK, your predictions, dissertations on VORP so you can apply for a job with Beane, whatever, in the comments, go to it.

• 1. They Have The Worst Mascot In Sports. Screech the Eagle. He/she/it kinda looks like an oversized marshmallow Peep. And shares a name with Dustin Diamond from Saved By the Bell. And drives around town in a Zipcar. And makes us all want to kind of die inside. It all actually inspired a chat with Dustin Diamond about the "hatching" of the mascot. That's right, it was hatched from a giant egg behind second base, bringing up recurring nightmares for anybody who remembered the Gobbledygooker from WWF's Survivor Series back in the day. Then again, this IS the franchise that once had Youppi!, sooo... — (Thanks to Matt DeTura).

• 2. Call Him Brother Sledge, A Name That Will Live Forever. The first pitch in Nationals history was techincally thrown by President George W. Bush, in a pregame ceremony at their opener. But that's not important right now. What is important is that the team's first-ever home run was recorded by outfielder Terrmel Sledge, also on opening day. Generations of Nationals fans shall know that name.

• 3. Hey Look, It's John Wetteland!. The all-time leader in saves for the Texas Rangers is now the Nationals' bullpen coach. And what better person to take an impressionable young ballplayer under his wing? Wetteland, in addition to being known for wearing the same cap for the entire season during his playing days, is also a former satanist (he had a tattoo and everything) and current born-again Christian.

• 4. The Billy Ball Connection. Nationals pitcher Tony Armas Jr. is the son of Tony Armas, an outfielder for the Oakland A's in the 1980s. Also playing for Oakland during that time were current Nationals batting coach Mitchell Page (A's, 1977-'83), and Nationals first base coach Davey Lopes (A's, 1982-'84). The three were A's teammates in 1982 under manager Billy Martin.

(Tomorrow: the San Diego Padres)

The real story of the NL Central, like every year, involves those damn Cubs. Are the sports gods out to get them? As Cardinals fans, we say yes. Obviously.

Our guaranteed-to-be-wrong predictions:

1. St. Louis Cardinals. Sidney Ponson, baby; Sidney Ponson.
2. Chicago Cubs. If they don't finish this high, Dusty Baker is toast, by the way.
3. Milwaukee Brewers. Prince Fielder is baseball's version of Glen "Big Baby" Davis. Except without braces.
4. Houston Astros. We have seen enough Enron Field the last couple Octobers to last us a lifetime.
5. Cincinnati Reds. The groupies in Cincinnati, Mr. Arroyo, are a step down, we're afraid.
6. Pittsburgh Pirates. We think it would be better if his name were "Duke Zack." Sounds tougher.

Tell us your predictions in the comments, buckos. Bring it.

Unfortunately, previewing a season requires doing the one thing (well, not one thing) that we're consistently horrible at: Making predictions. We apologize in advance. So: The AL Central.

1. Cleveland Indians. People forget just how close they were last year. Plus, hey, the ladies love them some Grady Sizemore.
2. Chicago White Sox. They've made the right moves in the offseason, and we're pleased Kenny Williams finally caught some breaks. But still. It can't be this perfect again, can it?
3. Minnesota Twins. Metrodome? More like swastika dome! Anyway, remember when people thought Shannon Stewart should be MVP?
4. Detroit Tigers. We're still angry we missed out on Jeremy Bonderman in our fantasy draft yesterday. Oh, and Ivan Rodriguez now weighs 115 pounds.
5. Kansas City Royals. Anyone who cuts the gritty, gutty, spunky, fiesty Joe McEwing deserves what's coming to them, in our book.

So, let's hear your predictions, people.

• 1. They've Been Involved In Some InterestingTrades. In an eerie foreshadowing of crappy reality shows on Fox, during spring training in 1973 pitchers and close buddies Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson actually swapped families, which at the time consisted of their wives, their children (two apiece) and their pets (one dog each). The families had apparently completed the trade during the off-season in 1972 but kept it quiet until spring training. The change of scenery didn't really help either pitcher on the field; when Kekich ended his nine-year major league career in 1977, he had a 39-51 record. Peterson, who went 133-131 over 11 seasons before retiring in 1976, dropped to 8-15 in 1973. In 1972, or "pre-swap," he had been 17-13 (he was traded to the Indians during the 1973 season). In addition, Kekich and the original Mrs. Peterson broke up after a few months, and eventually got divorced from the original Mrs. Kekich. Meanwhile, Peterson divorced the original Mrs. Peterson and married the former Mrs. Kekich. They are still together. — (Thanks to Jerry Smith)

• 2. Make that 715 Career Homers For Ruth. While filming The Babe Ruth Story in 1948, actor William Bendix, who played the Babe, actually hit a home run over the right-field fence at Yankee Stadium. Although very ill, Ruth himself attended the filming of the scene at Yankee Stadium. Ruth died shortly after attending the movie premeire. Ruth wore number 3 because he was the third hitter in the lineup; in 1929, the Yankees became the first team to make numbers a permanent part of the uniform. Earle Combs led off so he wore No. 1, followed by Mark Koenig #2, Ruth, Lou Gehrig #4, Bob Meusel #5, Tony Lazzeri #6, Leo Durocher #7, Johnny Grabowsfoki #8, Benny Bengough #9, and Bill Dickey #10. While other teams began putting names on the backs of jerseys in the 1960s, the Yankees did not follow the trend. No Yankee has ever had their name on the back of a Yankee jersey in a game.

• 3. When the Apocalypse Hits, They Will Be Self-Sustainable. Pitcher Kyle Farnsworth attended Abraham Baldwin Agricultural College in Tifton, Ga. And yes, they had a baseball team. The Golden Stallions play in the National Junior College Athletic Association.

• 4. They Will Win Any Way They Can. The most famous fan interference incident in baseball does not involve Steve Bartman. It was Jeffrey Maier, then 12, who in 1996 altered the course of the ALCS when he reached over the fence seperating the right field stands at Yankee Stadium and caught a deep fly ball hit by the Yankees' Derek Jeter. The ball appeared to be heading into the glove of Baltimore outfielder Tony Tarasco, but Maier intercepted it and pulled it into the stands. It should have been ruled interference, but right field umpire Rich Garcia immediately ruled the play a home run, which tied the game 4-4. Bernie Williams hit a game-winning home run in the bottom of the eleventh inning to win it for the Yankees, who went on to win the series, four games to one, as well as the World Series against the Atlanta Braves. Today, Maier plays college ball at Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut, where he was a first-team all-NESCAC selection this past season. He is considered by some to have a good chance of getting drafted ... but not by the Orioles.

• Bonus tidbit: Jason Giambi launched "Operation Gumby" in 1999, which reaches out to children across the country to deal with the issue of bed-wetting.

(Tomorrow: The Washington Nationals)