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more about #mlb more comments → P. Escobar, Jets Fan: Ryan Church must be the post-concussion guy, but I don't remember any enhanced performance. more » Chris Hanson's Axe: Milton Bradley's ODD is legendary. more » J-No: Now who will point out to me when someone in the stands is eating cotton fucking candy? more » Hit Bull Win Steak: Ironically, that same hand positioning is what got Harold Reynolds canned from ESPN. more » formerly Chief Wahoo: The world needs ditch diggers too, son. more » Steve U: Since the M.L.B. playoffs, we've had several discussions with Chip Caray You poor, poor bastards. more » dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: If you would have told me that I'd be remembered as nothing more than an asshole...I would not have thought it meant this. more » Phintastic: Levy said the company was looking at a "number of candidates" to replace Caray at both positions. So far, 3 mannequins and a semi literate bum have b... more » Kid Canada: But if he was a hot dog, and he was starving, would he eat himself? I bet he would. He'd smother himself in relish and brown mustard - he'd be delicious! more » David Hume: "Geez guys, this bonfire is great, my hands are nice and toasty. Where'd you guys get all this paper?" "Well, Chip, every time you screw up on air,... more » sir_pantsalot: Apparently he was fired because he gives the worst fisting imaginable. more » Theodore Donald Kerabatsos: Fox jumped at the opportunity to hire Caray and pair him with Joe Buck to commentate the 2010 Nepotism Games. more » DirkToberFest: You know you've hit rock bottom when you're asked to leave so your company can reallocate your salary to George Lopez. more » MattinglysSideburns: "Since the M.L.B. playoffs, we've had several discussions with Chip Caray regarding 2010 and beyond." "We've also had several discussions on the same... more » Chamomiles Davis: "Watch Tyler Perry's 'Chip Carey Gets Fisted' this fall on TBS! Very Funny." more » -
#itstheeconomy
Thu-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh Yankees Lose (Some Operating Expenses)
The Yankees are looking to cut some $15 million from their 2009 Opening Day payroll of $201 million. Wait, so this means they'll only be able to afford John Lackey or Matt Holliday? Not both? The recession's hitting everybody. [MLB.com] -
#pitches
Deadspin Films Presents: "High And Outside: The Dock Ellis Story"
Sporting apparel/culture site No Mas recently released the animated story of Dock Ellis, who threw a no-hitter on acid—fucking ACID—and died last December. Time for his biopic, yeah? Let's cast and storyboard this thing. To Hollywood we go! More » -
#mlb
This Explains Those Missed Bunt Signs
More players than ever before have come before MLB with a signed doctor's note, swearing they have ADHD, and by the way, they have to take otherwise-banned stimulants. We're skeptical. More » -
#mlb
Chip Caray Gets Fisted By TBS
"Since the M.L.B. playoffs, we've had several discussions with Chip Caray regarding 2010 and beyond. Both sides have agreed that now is the right time for Turner Sports and Chip to move ahead on different paths." That's bad, right? [NYTimes] -
#mlb
Derek Jeter Scoffs At Your Puny MVP Award
The Yankee Coxswain is your Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year, because of his "dignity and elegance." Also? He's an excellent tipper and rarely kills hobos to wear their flesh. [SI] -
#mlb
Bud Selig: Retrospecticus
In honor of the commish starting the three-year countdown clock until retirement, I thought it would be instructive to take a look at his tenure a fair and thorough manner: bullet points! More » -
#mlb
Grady Sizemore Does His Bit To Increase Our Female Readership
Sizemore joins Santonio Holmes and Jeff Reed in the pantheon of Rust Belt athletes who take dong shots in the mirror with their cell phones. Grady's Ladies have declared a national holiday.
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#mlb
Bud Selig To Step Down After 2012 Season
According to a report in the Chicago Tribune, Selig intends to call it quits after the 2012 season. If an official portrait is ever commissioned, I would suggest using the above photo. It seems...oddly fitting. [Chicago Tribune] -
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#mlb
Put Away Your Calculators. Joe Mauer Is MVP
Indignant nerds may stand down. Your numerically eviscerating PowerPoint presentation about Derek Jeter's faults is both lovely and precise, but will not be needed this year. (Only an idiotic first-place vote for Miguel Cabrera kept it from being unanimous.) [MPR] -
#mlb
Tim Lincecum Is High, Young Winner Again
The San Francisco Giants goofy-headed pitcher of countless "Dazed and Confused" jokes has won his second straight Cy Young award. Take that, Nancy Reagan. (Counterpoint from this morning.) [SFGate] -
#mlb
Come On Down To Crazy Joe's Big Red Machines!
Always one to stay ahead of the curve, Joe Morgan has decided that now is the time to get into the booming business of auto sales. At Joe Morgan Honda, your starter's Won-Loss Percentage is your credit! [Cincinnati.com] -
#mlb
Shocker: AL's Best Pitcher Wins AL Cy Young
It's Zack Greinke by a landslide, which means the Internet won't have the pleasure of yelling at wrongheaded baseball writers until Thursday, when they snub Tim Lincecum. [BBWAA] -
#mlb
John Wetteland Hospitalized For His Mental Health
When police responded to calls of a possible suicidal person, the Mariners bullpen coach and former closer came out with his hands in the air, telling them he "needed help." More to follow as we get it. [KTVT] -
#mlb
The Hit King Is Hitting That
Think Pete Rose spends every day broken up about not being in the Hall of Fame? Looks like he's got other thingsbyon his brain. More » -
#mlb
You Can't Drag Baseball Into The 21st Century
Like many others, I assumed that Major League Baseball would have no choice but to cave in and expand the use instant replay this offseason, but I underestimated the league's commitment to completely ignoring public opinion at all times. More » -
#mlb
This Is Exactly What It Looks Like
U.S. Marshals will be auctioning off Bernie Madoff's customized Mets jacket. So you can doubly pretend to make tons of money but fail in the end anyway. [Gaston & Sheehan Auctioneers] -
#mlb
Baseball's Free Agency System Is Seriously, Seriously Screwed Up
It's hot stove season, and the annual release of Elias' free agent rankings is upon us. It speaks to the volume of the CBA's absurdities that we rarely appreciate just how awful this system is.
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#mlb
Upon Further Review, Baseball Is Stupid
Baseball won't be expanding instant replay anytime soon, because baseball doesn't want its outcomes to be an accurate reflection of what transpires on the field so much as an expression of the yearnings in Tim McClelland's heart. More » -
#mlb
A Few Million Pesos Later, Angel Villalona Is A Free Man, For Now
Angel Villalona, the Giants prospect accused of fatally shooting a man in his native Dominican Republic, is out on bail and out 2 million pesos, too, having reportedly paid the victim's family to drop charges against him. That's $55,000. More » -
#mlb
Sammy Sosa Would Like To Clear Up Some Things About His Skin
Sammy Sosa is not hoping to star in the White Chicks sequel. It is not some kind of alleged side affect from any alleged substances he allegedly may have put in his body. He just wants to be beautiful! More »
