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more about #mlb more comments → Kid Canada: I am hopeful that this time the Blue Jays held out for three handfuls of magic beans instead of the usual two. more » SteveJeltzFan: Marginal upgrade from Cy Young Award winner to Cy Young Award winner? And the Phillies save money with an extension? Happy Hannukah, indeed. more » MattinglysSideburns: It's been an absolute pleasure to watch Roy Halladay pitch for all these years and I'm gutted to see him go. Best of luck to the Doc. I just hope we g... more » NordoftheBlings: Cliff Lee. Jake Locker staying. Greatest Seattle sports Monday ever. And there have been lots, fuckers. Lots. /2010: 88 wins for M's & 8-4 for the D... more » AzureTexan: The Nationals, meanwhile, are reportedly close to signing French rocker Johnny Hallyday. more » Mr. Praline: I can see Pat Gillick's shrewd, greasy fingerprints all over this puppy. more » Bobby Big Wheel: No word on if Halladay forced the trade so he could study dentistry at Penn. more » Gourmet Spud: Toronto fans will now commence spending the rest of the evening staring out their windows and listening to "Vincent". more » Stev D: Like Bruce and Brandon before him, another Lee gone too soon. more » ArkansasFred: Fan-fucking-tastic. more » Texy: Doc is going to carve through the NL like a hot knife through butter. more » Stev D: Has Bonds looked into getting his PMP? Having that on your resume is a big plus these days. more » Hit Bull Win Steak: /Onion'd? more » AzureTexan: They shoot horse's asses, don't they? more » P. Escobar, Jets Fan: I swear I saw the guy from Quantum Leap in drag on Christopher Street the other night, saying "don't call me Scott" in a falsetto voice to anyone that... more » -
#hotfuckingstove
And It Appears The Phillies Are Close To Landing Roy Halladay
WHAT? So confused. Three-way trade with Seattle? Cliff Lee to Seattle? Roy Halladay to Phillies? Little people to Toronto? Somebody make some goddamn sense already. [Philly.com] -
#mlb
BREAKING: Barry Bonds Doesn't Play Baseball Anymore
A shocking Deadspin investigation has revealed that despite frequent mentions in the national media and his ubiquitous presence in any discussion about baseball and its steroid policies, Barry Bonds is not actually a Major League Baseball player anymore. More » -
#lastnightswinner
Last Night's Winner: Curtis Granderson
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Curtis Granderson, who no longer has to carry the hopes and dreams of a shattered city on his shoulders. Plus, there's less running to do. More » -
#mlb
Third Generation Bonds Gets A Hit, And Rob Neyer Turns It Into A Hit Piece
Nikolai Bonds was an omnipresent cheerleader during his father's quest for history. Now he's 19 and arrested for assaulting his mother. They grow up so fast. More » -
#itstheeconomy
Thu-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh Yankees Lose (Some Operating Expenses)
The Yankees are looking to cut some $15 million from their 2009 Opening Day payroll of $201 million. Wait, so this means they'll only be able to afford John Lackey or Matt Holliday? Not both? The recession's hitting everybody. [MLB.com] -
#pitches
Deadspin Films Presents: "High And Outside: The Dock Ellis Story"
Sporting apparel/culture site No Mas recently released the animated story of Dock Ellis, who threw a no-hitter on acid—fucking ACID—and died last December. Time for his biopic, yeah? Let's cast and storyboard this thing. To Hollywood we go! More » -
#mlb
This Explains Those Missed Bunt Signs
More players than ever before have come before MLB with a signed doctor's note, swearing they have ADHD, and by the way, they have to take otherwise-banned stimulants. We're skeptical. More » -
#mlb
Chip Caray Gets Fisted By TBS
"Since the M.L.B. playoffs, we've had several discussions with Chip Caray regarding 2010 and beyond. Both sides have agreed that now is the right time for Turner Sports and Chip to move ahead on different paths." That's bad, right? [NYTimes] -
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#mlb
Derek Jeter Scoffs At Your Puny MVP Award
The Yankee Coxswain is your Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year, because of his "dignity and elegance." Also? He's an excellent tipper and rarely kills hobos to wear their flesh. [SI] -
#mlb
Bud Selig: Retrospecticus
In honor of the commish starting the three-year countdown clock until retirement, I thought it would be instructive to take a look at his tenure a fair and thorough manner: bullet points! More » -
#mlb
Grady Sizemore Does His Bit To Increase Our Female Readership
Sizemore joins Santonio Holmes and Jeff Reed in the pantheon of Rust Belt athletes who take dong shots in the mirror with their cell phones. Grady's Ladies have declared a national holiday.
More »
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#mlb
Bud Selig To Step Down After 2012 Season
According to a report in the Chicago Tribune, Selig intends to call it quits after the 2012 season. If an official portrait is ever commissioned, I would suggest using the above photo. It seems...oddly fitting. [Chicago Tribune] -
#mlb
Put Away Your Calculators. Joe Mauer Is MVP
Indignant nerds may stand down. Your numerically eviscerating PowerPoint presentation about Derek Jeter's faults is both lovely and precise, but will not be needed this year. (Only an idiotic first-place vote for Miguel Cabrera kept it from being unanimous.) [MPR] -
#mlb
Tim Lincecum Is High, Young Winner Again
The San Francisco Giants goofy-headed pitcher of countless "Dazed and Confused" jokes has won his second straight Cy Young award. Take that, Nancy Reagan. (Counterpoint from this morning.) [SFGate] -
#mlb
Come On Down To Crazy Joe's Big Red Machines!
Always one to stay ahead of the curve, Joe Morgan has decided that now is the time to get into the booming business of auto sales. At Joe Morgan Honda, your starter's Won-Loss Percentage is your credit! [Cincinnati.com] -
#mlb
Shocker: AL's Best Pitcher Wins AL Cy Young
It's Zack Greinke by a landslide, which means the Internet won't have the pleasure of yelling at wrongheaded baseball writers until Thursday, when they snub Tim Lincecum. [BBWAA] -
#mlb
John Wetteland Hospitalized For His Mental Health
When police responded to calls of a possible suicidal person, the Mariners bullpen coach and former closer came out with his hands in the air, telling them he "needed help." More to follow as we get it. [KTVT] -
#mlb
The Hit King Is Hitting That
Think Pete Rose spends every day broken up about not being in the Hall of Fame? Looks like he's got other thingsbyon his brain. More » -
#mlb
You Can't Drag Baseball Into The 21st Century
Like many others, I assumed that Major League Baseball would have no choice but to cave in and expand the use instant replay this offseason, but I underestimated the league's commitment to completely ignoring public opinion at all times. More » -
#mlb
This Is Exactly What It Looks Like
U.S. Marshals will be auctioning off Bernie Madoff's customized Mets jacket. So you can doubly pretend to make tons of money but fail in the end anyway. [Gaston & Sheehan Auctioneers]


