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This Gyasi Zardes Lowlight Reel Is Very Rude And Very Funny

United States forward Gyasi Zardes has quickly established himself as one of Jürgen Klinsmann’s favorite attackers, racking up five goals and 26 caps in his first two years with the national team. He’s a perfectly fine runner and finisher, but good lord, his first touch looks like he’s playing soccer in authentic…

MLS Team Not Happy About Brazilian Manager Dissing The League

Washed-up Brazilian legend Kaká was originally left off of his country’s Copa América roster because he is old and past it and plays in MLS, the old-timers’ league. With Brazilian internationals dropping like flies to injury in the lead up to the tournament, manager Dunga eventually did give Kaká a spot on the roster.…

Italy Manager On Pirlo And Giovinco Snubs: If You Play In MLS, You Pay The Consequences

Antonio Conte, manager of the Italian national team, has the distinct misfortune of heading into a major international tournament with the worst crop of Italian players in recent memory. So unimpressive is the 30-man preliminary roster he just announced, the bulk of which will make up the squad he takes to France for…

Nobody Could Get Into The NYCFC Game At Yankee Stadium Because Of The Yankees' Stupid Ticket Policies

Hey remember how the Yankees changed their ticket policies to no longer accept print-at-home tickets? NYCFC, who also play in Yankee Stadium for some reason, announced Friday that they were planning to stop taking paper tickets too. They have a game today, two days later. In their release, the team said they’d be…

Manager Of Mexican National Team Tells Players To Stay Away From MLS

Jürgen Klinsmann has gotten shit over the years for failing to cheerlead for MLS. He has called for the league to get better, and for his players to challenge themselves at the highest levels of the sport. To some, this is evidence not of Klinsmann’s ability to recognize the obvious, but of some sort of shortcoming.…

Robert Sarver's Purchase Of Mallorca Is An Indictment Of The American Soccer System

Phoenix Suns owner and amateur intergenerational psychologist Robert Sarver has purchased a controlling stake in Mallorca, a Spanish soccer club currently playing in the country’s second division. The move is presumably good for Sarver and the rest of his ownership group, which includes noted soccer obsessive and…

Didier Drogba, Who's Destroying MLS, Says MLS Has A Lot To Improve

Didier Drogba, one of our favorite players over the years who’s nonetheless closer to middle age than the middle of his playing prime, gave some of the gentle yet unambiguous real talk that former European stars cashing checks in MLS are prone to hand down from time to time. Surprise surprise, he doesn’t think the…

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MLS Will Ride The USWNT's Coattails By Having Floats In Victory Parade

If the TV ratings for the USWNT’s obliteration of Japan in the 2015 Women’s World Cup final—it was the most-watched soccer game in U.S. history—stood for anything, it’s that Americans will support the sporting greatness of our own unreservedly. Unfortunately, the vultures in charge of the inferior soccer product MLS…

Looks Like Cristiano Ronaldo And MLS Are Tugging Each Other Off

Surprise, surprise. There are more whispers and rumors linking MLS with another aging star—in this case, Cristiano Ronaldo. And while the MLS- and Ronaldo-friendly version of events doesn’t make too much sense on its face, it’s not to hard to reverse engineer what’s most likely going on here. (That it might appeal to…

MLS Players And Owners Agree To Keep League Mired In Mediocrity

We're still in the process of digesting last night's surprise CBA accord between MLS and its players. Until or unless we get to dig into the specifics, it'll be difficult to judge exactly how the new agreement will affect those involved. Of course, the specifics will mainly be of interest for those outside the game,…