Last week, Dez Bryant posted a photo on Instagram of his “new best friend,” a monkey named Dallas Bryant. When PETA found out, it demanded that Bryant relinquish the illegal pet monkey, but there wasn’t proof that the Cowboys receiver actually possessed Dallas. DeSoto, Texas police investigated, and couldn’t find any…
What we have here is a 14-year-old Sumatran Orangutan receiving medical treatment from a member of the Sumatran Orangutan Conservation Programme after taking an air-gun pellet to the leg. Is this chill-ass orangutan upset by any of this?
Chris Davis: four games, 9/15 on 18 plate appearances, four homers, .600 batting average, 1.600 slugging percentage, and 16 RBI, breaking the old record of 12 through the season's first four games. Now where can I get me some of that sweet, sweet monkey dust?
Fistfights on the track, drivers flipping officials off, flying car parts crashing into skyboxes, and monkeys. Not just another night at Texas Motor Speedway. Monkeys!
Newspaper ledes you'll hopefully never see in America: "Fierce langur monkeys and snake charmers have been deployed at several Commonwealth Games venues across New Delhi to try to protect athletes and delegates from simian and reptile attack." [NZH](ViaTom Kolak)
Thankfully, late-night monkey zoo abductions have been virtually stamped out here in the U.S. But in Great Britain, where they are common, monkeys must be ever vigilant. Still smarting from the owl fiasco at the Moscow Zoo, the same gang of thugs apparently decided on a monkey heist for their next caper, with…