• Symphony of Obstruction: Those television screens at the new Yankee Stadium aren't going to help that much. [Scott Proctor's Arm]

• SI's Swimsuit Letter Swindle?: A letter to the editor in SI gets a thorough investigation. [Cleveland Frowns]

• Ty Lawson's gambling in Detroit: And showing off his winnings. Doesn't seem like a smart idea. [Bootlegger Sports]

I bet Patrick Chewing gets more: There is actually a prop bet on how much facetime Rollie Massimino will get at the Final Four this weekend. [The Big Picture]

How? Grow weed in the outfield?: The Giants are trying to makePacBell SBC AT&T Park more eco-friendly. Fuckin' hippies. [San Francisco Giants Examiner]

Bryant is cool with it though: Greg Gumbel will sue your ass if you try to make him recorded something for your lousy infomercial. [Online Sports Guys]

If only Grant Hill were alive to see this: You know your season has turned out the way you hoped when Grant Hill is the healthiest person on your team. [Josh Q Public]

• Be gentle: Pretty nifty shootout goal from a Swedish youngster. Either that or his slap shot is just really weak. [Total Pro Sports]

• You were serious about that college thing?: Mike Leach punishes his players by making them do homework on the 50-yard line in the snow. That sounds like the worst frat ever. [Dr. Saturday]

• Dirty bird: Have you humped a mascot today? [Dirty Tackle]

• Business up front: Would you like to workout inside Derek Jeter? You wouldn't be the first. [A Helluva Town]

• Jose Lima would never hurt you like that: The Long Beach Armada has won a $250,000 lawsuit against Jose Canseco. Yeah, good luck collecting on that. [Ballpark Digest]

• Or Bu-urns?: Calling out your fellow fans for indiscriminate booing. Maybe they were saying "Bruce"? [Four Habs Fans]

• Too easy, I know: Shaq is now picking on Greg Oden. You really shouldn't disrespect your elders like that. [That NBA Lottery Pick]

• Depressed yet?: Just a reminder; Gary Matthews Jr. is the fifth-highest paid outfielder in baseball! [Rumors and Rants]

• Julian Tavarez sobers up, apologizes to the fat Nationals sleeping in his bed: "I want to apologize for the comments that I made. I didn't mean to make those comments. I want to apologize to my teammates, all the fans in Washington, my manager and the media. I wasn't serious. It was something I didn't think the media would write down. Things happen in life, and I can correct it. I won't let this happen again." [Nationals Enquirer]

• John Calipari interested in Kentucky job?: ESPN sources say yes, but others are skeptical. [Midwest Sports Fans]

•Bill Raftery never sleeps: It is amazing how many games this guy does. [Stiles Points]

• Cubs fan in a little shirt....: This is not the way to end a curse, young man. [Homer Derby]

• I can't wait until they feature this segment on Fox Sports: "The Top Ten Deadbeat Dad Athletes." [Total Pro Sports]

• This is what it feels like to have your football taken from you forever: Great story from DIII player whose school decided to not pay for a program anymore. [The DIII Experience]

• Professional soccer player's mothers should know better: Than to shoplift. But that's what John Terry's mum did. Yes, she's a mum. [Kickette]

• I call him Gamblor: Want to take bets on which is most excited about extra NFL games? [The Hazean]

• I got nothing: MMA fighters have signature moves? Which one uses the Camel Clutch? [Cage Potato]

• No more games: Alex Ovechkin continues to needle Don Cherry. Why can't these two see that they're in love with each other? [Total Pro Sports]

• Scrum'd: A women's rugby team has released a sexy lingerie calendar, because they are required to. [South Carolina Rugby Examiner]

• You're gonna need a bigger penalty box: Could Patrick Roy be the next coach of the Avalanche? How many fist fights can one team handle? [Colorado Avalanche Examiner]

• Stand your ground: Hey, Coach, get your head in the game. [Online Sports Guys]

• Jerky boy: The prankster behind "Colin Matta" explains himself. Haven't we all wanted to be adopted by an Ohio State coach? [Cleveland.com]

• What will we do without you?: Seth Curry is transferring to a conference that doesn't suck quite as hard as the Big South. [George Mason Basketball]

• The Boomin' System: Be glad you don't live on Alfonso Soriano's street. [Home Run Derby]

• Ice ice baby: Cowboy and Packer fans share a tender moment on the highway between Phoenix and LA. There were no survivors. [No Joshin']

• The loser now will be later to win: Sports talk radio guys will argue about the sun coming up if it will fill 30 minutes of airtime. [Me Gusta!]

• What did they do to deserve Antoine Walker?: Cedric Maxwell thinks that Len Bias was God's punishment to the Celtics because Red Auerbach wasn't nice to Gerald Henderson. Makes sense to me. [kenneth in the (212)]

• It was a bad call: Providence Bruins goalie Tuukka Rask is a little upset that the refs don't understand the rules of a shootout. Watch out for the flying milk crates. [Total Pro Sports]

• And this effects me how?: Hey, the U.S. lost at the World Baseball Classic. Again. Try to contain yourself. [Rumors and Rants]

• I kid, because I don't know anything about soccer: You mean TV networks actually have to pay to broadcast European soccer in the U.S.? I thought they couldn't give that stuff away. [Unprofessional Foul]

• The shot heard round first base: Remember the guy who got the hit right before Bobby Thompson's legendary home run? Well now he's dead. [Josh Q Public]

• Twhat?: I don't know why we were looking to the news media for updates on Jim Calhoun's health, when we could have just checked Charlie Villanueva's Twitter. [SbB]

• Shooter?: An Indiana high school basketball coach gets arrested for a DUI, so the cops gave him a ride to the game. Hey, a police escort is still a police escort. [The Slanch Report]

• Could have been worse: At least he didn't shoot up a brothel. [The Spoiler]

• Next week, the hat trick: When you think about it, it really isn't that difficult to score on your own goal twice in one game. It's a great move, actually, because the goalie never expects it! [Total Pro Sports]

• This should make PETA very happy: Thoroughbred racehorses from Northern Ireland are being eaten. There is an overabundance of glue in that region, so this makes sense. [Sports Rubbish]

• Andruw Jones may soon be unemployed again: The 31-year-old's time with the Texas Rangers appears to be over. Remember when he was supposed to be the next Willie Mays? [Rumors and Rants]

• HE CAN SEE THE FUTURE: One man tries to sell his completed NCAA bracket on eBay. Unless he's the guy from "29th Street," I'm not buying it. [ThreeIdiotsOnSports]

• Why do you hate freedom?: Kevin Youklis would like to remind you that if the U.S. doesn't win the World Baseball Classic, it's 100% your fault. [No Guts, No Glory]

• It's also illegal, you know?: Here's a nice rundown on the Vegas odds for the tournament—as if anyone has any money left to gamble after sinking it all into 37 different office pools. [The March to Madness]

• Maybe next Christmas: Buffalo would never make a trade to unite Jay Culter and Terrell Owens, because what could we possibly have done to deserve such a tremendous gift? [Rumors and Rants]

• Can't we go to arbitration?: Are you looking to change teams via fan free agency? Sit down, Lions fans. You're not going anywhere. [Central Maine Sports Blog]

• Dunk me, I'm Irish: Hey, it's St. Patrick's Day! Otherwise known as "everybody dress like the Celtics day" in the NBA. [That NBA Lottery Pick]

• Do you feel lucky?: I hope Packers DB Jarrett Bush never Googles himself, because according to the search engine he stinks at football. [The Bucky Channel]

• Busted: These are the people in your bracket pool, the people that you meet when you're walking down the street and want to punch in the face because they took all your money. [Three Idiots on Sports]

• Pass: All the hopes of the U.S. baseball team rest on the arm of Ted Lilly. So what else is on tonight? [Rumors and Rants]

• Bizzaro: In the N.I.T., the visiting team hosts you! [Friar Blog]

• To spite your face: If being an Aqua Velva man means smelling like Steve Garvey, I'll pass. [Home Run Derby]

• Roid rage: Did Brian Cashman tell Jason Giambi to get back on the juice? That depends. Which answer will get people to shut up about the Yankees. [Bob's Blitz]

• School sucks: An educational group says Dwyane Wade was supposed to help with their "Back To School" initiative, but I guess he dropped out. [Broward Palm Beach - The Juice]

• And he should know: Smush Parker says playing with the Lakers is "overrated." Also overrated: collecting paychecks. [NESW Sports]

• Can you get Versus in Japan?: Oh, man. In all this college basketball nonsense, I totally forgot about the finals of the Asia Hockey League. I DVR'd it though, so don't tell me what happened. [Sharkspage]

• We miss you, Mr. Bowden: Nationals' blogger is already longing for the days when Jim Bowden made life interesting. [The Nationals Enquirer]

• Tyson Chandler did not make this list: The funniest Twitter posts by professional athletes. [FanIQ]

• Andre Smith is the new FIGJAM: A list of the best man boobs in professional sports. [Brahsome]

• Ex-soccer prodigy now full-time porn performer: Danny Mountain has no regrets at all how his life turned out after his soccer career was derailed by injury. [Unprofessional Foul]

• [Expletive Deleted]: Speaking of one shining moment, will one of these coaches have one shining profanity-laced tirade during the tournament this year? [The March to Madness]

• First time, very long time: A caller dials up a live sports show to ask about a Manchester United player's sizable junk. Well, it is a topic of growing concern. [The Spoiler]

• Shocking: Wait, so scummy agents and coaches are still using shady financial dealings to gain access to basketball recruits and make unsavory manipulators wealthy? I thought for sure that NCAA would solve that problem! [Money Players Blog]

• Just so you know: Mel Kiper doesn't like to say he told you so, but when it comes to Jay Cutler he totally told you so. [Rumors and Rants]

• Nice swing, Nancy: Today is the birthday of the batting tee—helping uncoordinated kids feel special for over six decades. [Star-Tribune]

• It's cute, isn't it?: Orlando fans desperately cling to the belief that their team will rise above the Eastern darlings and reach the NBA Finals. It is hard to argue with pictures of Dwight Howard in a tuxedo. [Moderately Cerebral Bias]

• I kinda like him when he's angry: Do not question Ron Wilson's integrity. You may question his ability to coach a professional hockey team, but you may not question his integrity. [Two-Line Pass]

• The Big O and 16: Detroit Lions underwear. It's the perfect way to tell that special someone they are a complete loser. [I Dislike Your Favorite Team]

• Do I need a slide rule for this?: I was just thinking that the real problem with the NFL's QB rating is not enough high level math. [Kotite's Corner]

• Resistance is futile: Have you heard? ESPN owns sports. Just be glad they haven't foreclosed on your TV. [Long Beach Post Sports]

• Need more BBQ sauce?: What is wrong with the Nuggets? I mean, besides the fact that they will always be the Nuggets. [Denver Stiffs]

• His love is real: David Beckham will one day own the MLS. He wouldn't be caught dead playing there, of course, but he's willing to buy a team or two. [SportsBiz Blog]

• This connects to what?!: Don't worry, this skeleton will explain everything you need to know about A-Rod's hip. No, that's not Pedro Gomez. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

• What could go right?: How can Buffalo fans not be excited by the Terrell Owens deal? A colossal meltdown might actually make the team interesting for once. [Icy-Hot Sensations]

• Hooked on phonics: Some Alabama athletes are in trouble for using their scholarship money to buy other kids free textbooks. Hey, at least they are reading. [Slow Breaker]

• He does like to ski: A downhill skier tested positive for cocaine at the world championships, but says he couldn't possibly have done coke the night before—because he was too drunk. [Steroid Nation]