Click here to see the new hats cast their eerie spell. (Caution: Not for the meek).

Someday of course all baseball cap logos will glow in the dark, and you'll have Ghosts CEO Kevin Haughian to thank for it. He is also responsible for the current top best-selling Minor League cap, that of the Lake Elsinore Storm.

The Ghosts are also the only team anywhere to be named after a Harveys Entertainment cartoon character. That's the studio that gave us Baby Huey, Wendy the Good Witch, Herman and Katnip, Little Audrey and Richie Rich ... kind of a low-rent Disney. Now if the Ghosts can tie in their concessions to Little Lotta, they'll have something.

And now, here come the Minor League promotions:

• 60's Psychedelic Night. Tonight, West Virginia Power (Class-A South Atlantic League). Generally I don't need an excuse to take LSD, but I'll fit right in tonight at Appalachian Power Park, where our nation's groovy, bell-bottomed heritage will be celebrated ... up to and including post-game karaoke.

• Australia Day. Saturday, Erie SeaWolves (Class-AA Eastern League). Includes the always popular Boomerang Giveaway, a Steve Irwin tribute, and salute to Australian-born Major Leaguers. Plus, music of the BeeGees and Men at Work. What, no Anne Murray?

Other breaking news:

Mr. Celery Conducts The Delaware Symphony Orchestra. Yes the rumors are true: Famed Wilmington Blue Rocks mascot Mr. Celery will take up the baton on Saturday at the Grand Opera House in Wilmington to conduct a presentation of The Firebird. The co-production by the Enchantment Theater and the Delaware Symphony Orchestra "weaves together puppetry, shadow play, masks and magic with evocative music by Stravinsky in this captivating Russian tale." The performance also includes Bizet's Carmen Suite and begins at 2 p.m. Adults $20, children $10. For tickets call the Grand Opera House box office at (302) 652-5577.

Joliet Jackhammers Offer Contract To Frank Thomas. The Joliet Jackhammers of the Independent Northern League have extended a contract offer to Frank Thomas, who was released from the Blue Jays last week. Had he signed, Thomas would have received "a monthly salary in addition to a free apartment," according to the Jackhammers' press release. Alas: It appears that the Jackhammers' offer was not sweet enough.

Cam Of The Week. Cedar Rapids Kernels Dale and Thomas Popcorn Field KernelsCam (scroll to bottom of page). Hmm, looks like rain.

Billboard Of The Week. St. Paul Saints Billboard Corn Field. If only this included a cam.

Kevin In The Ticket Office Says Goodbye. Sad, sad news from the Clearwater Threshers. Kevin from the ticket office is discontinuing his blog, to "pursue other interests." It's a heartfelt farewell, equaled only perhaps by the final episode of M*A*S*H.

Please send any Minor League promotional news, game accounts, photos or recipes to us at RickChand@GMail.com. Thanks!

From time to time someone will try to get me to listen to Christian Rock. "It's just like any other form of music," they'll say. "The only difference is that when they're singing about love, it's for their love of the Lord." Fine, but I've always thought that really good music examines life in a more universal sense; not just the times when things are going well. The best love songs come from heartache. And as far as I'm aware, I've never come home to find that the Lord has thrown all of my belongings onto the front lawn with a note in my catcher's mitt that says "Don't ever call me."

The Indianapolis Indians don't find this argument valid, evidently. That's because the best Christian Rock band you will ever hear with an AFC punter singing lead vocals, Connersvine, is set to entertain Victory Stadium on Saturday. Hunter Smith, the Indianapolis Colts' veteran punter, and guitarist Chris Wilson will rock the masses in a "pre-game Christian concert" before the Indians take on the Charlotte Knights. And be advised: God knows how to party!

As [Connersvine] continue to write new songs and challenge themselves in worship leading, God has poured out his creativity through them. They believe that God, the Greatest Artist, is the inventor of creativity and as believers we have direct access to the Father of creativity through worship.

And ... exciting bonus! Fans in attendance will also be treated to the musical stylings of Colts' tight end Ben Utecht! Plus, Saturday is Mascot Mania, so you really can't go wrong. But if none of this appeals to you, why not stay home and get a jump on growing your back hair, because the Indians' Hairiest Back Contest will be here before you know it.

Other promotions, other lands, after the jump:

• 24 Hours Of Baseball. Saturday, June 2. Brooklyn Cyclones (Class-A New York-Penn League). Beginning at 4:30 p.m., the Cyclones front office staff will play baseball for 24 straight hours, in an effort to raise money and awareness for local Brooklyn food shelters. The staff, according to their web site, "will take on teams consisting of the Borough President's office, T-ballers, circus clowns, Coney Island freaks, The Old Boys of Summer, mimes, surviving members of The Village People, various dogs, cats and other pets, the infirm, the incontinent, and the New York Yankees (some of those may be ours). There is no charge, but fans will be asked to make donations toward the charities.

• Adam West Appearance. Tuesday, June 5. Myrtle Beach Pelicans (Class-A Carolina League). Batman always shows up when you least expect him. Also, apparently, he fails to show up when you most expect him. According to Benjamin Hill over at MiLB.com, West has been booked to appear at Altoona's Blair County Park on three separate occasions, and has canceled each time. Well, of course: Altoona doesn't have a bat-signal.

• Toga Party. Tuesday, June 5. Lake Elsinore Storm (Class-A California League). All fans who sing I Gave My Love A Cherry will be admitted free, although their guitars will be violently smashed by Lake Elsinore staff.

• Mr. Celery T-Shirt Giveaway. Tuesday, June 5. Wilmington Blue Rocks (Class-A Carolina League). My Mr. Celery memorabilia collection is now shy one very desirable item. But considering that the Blue Rocks are only giving out these shirts to kids, it should be very easy to steal one.

• Mascot Of the Week. Buster, Lakewood BlueClaws (Class-A South Atlantic League), Saturday, May 26. It's not every mascot who can say that he was manhandled by the great King Kong Bundy. (Also, the kid seems a little too into the abuse, if you ask me). Funny what happens to pro wrestlers when they get older; these days Bundy is almost a perfect sphere. If he were to fall over he might never stop rolling.

• Bulletin! From the Danville Braves web site: Calvin Funkhouser has left the Danville Braves staff. His last official day was Sunday, May 20. He will be helping run the speed pitch for the Braves at Festival in the Park.

• Confusing Photo Of The Week. Delmarva Shorebirds (Class-A South Atlantic League). Well, the catcher is obviously covering second base because ... and the runner is starting his slide so early, due to ... wait, wha-?

We want your tips! Send any minor league photos, interesting stories or guitar shards to RickChand@gmail.com. And thanks!

What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly present you with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!

Dude, I have a Little League game to pitch later this afternoon and I am SO WASTED. Ha. Tossing back a few cold ones next to a costumed freak; welcome to just about every day of Macaulay Culkin's childhood. Intrepid reader Matt Theil of KQCH/KEZO radio in Omaha snapped this photo during an Omaha Royals Thirsty Thursday promotion last season, and upon discovering Minor Enterprise recently, dug through his files and sent it to us. He included this report:

I took this picture last year at Rosenblatt. I didn't notice the kid with the Miller Lite bottle until I got home to upload the picture. I was pretty faced myself at Thirsty Thursday (also the same game where Donovan Osbourne signed my '92 Cardinals Anniversary ball to complete my day), and I was probably just taking a picture of the dumbass mascot, Casey. Enjoy!

When I was a kid, catching a foul ball was all that my friends and I aspired to at a game; it never occurred to us that getting hammered with the team mascot might be fun. (Casey's furry hide comes equipped with a hidden bottle opener, we're told). What the hell; it's not like these kids are going to be driving home, right? OK, if we're guessing, we'd say that the Omaha Royals do not condone serving alcohol to minors. We salute them anyway ... and also for being the only team to have their stadium organist ejected from a game.

Some other upcoming promotions:

• Juan Marichal Appearance. Sunday, May 20, Fresno Grizzlies (Triple-A Pacific Coast League). If you've got a copy of that famous photo of Juan Marichal swinging a bat at Johnny Roseboro's head, now's the time to bring it down to Chukchansi Park to get it autographed by the Dominican Dandy himself! The Hall of Famer and Giants pitching legend will appear courtesy of Bar-S Foods. Mmmm, high leg kick.

• Salute To Indoor Plumbing. Monday, May 21, West Virginia Power (Single-A South Atlantic League). If you can't make it out to this must-see event, don't fret, the Power have other treats in store. On Thursday, May 24, it's the World's Largest Tighty Whitey Race and the World's Fattest Man Contest, which we just pray to God are not won by the same person. Then on May 26 it's Game Show Night featuring a Bob Barker Tribute. But we've got June 21 circled on our calendars, when the Power will present Insignificant Events Night.

• Urban Meyer Appearance. Thursday, May 24, Clearwater Threshers (Single-A Florida State League). Yes, the head coach of the National Champion Florida Gators will join Threshers fans at Bright House Network Field at 6 p.m., and be advised: "This is the only appearance by Coach Meyer in the 5 County area!" Autographs will be available (determined by raffle). Please do not jostle coach Meyer, or ask questions about Miami. He will not sign body parts.

• Bassackwards Night. To Be Determined, Ogden Raptors (Rookie Pioneer League). Things are really getting weird in Utah. From the Raptors' latest press release: "I am often asked what one new thing will we be putting on this season. One new item will be "Bassackwards Night". The players will be wearing shirts with the Raptors name and numbers displayed backwards. All fans will be admitted free but will have to pay to get out. In other words, if you leave in the 1st inning, you will pay $9.00. It will decrease a buck an inning. If we go extra innings, I will give every fan a $1.00 Raptor Buck for each extra inning. Also, the game will start in the 9th inning and work backwards. It should be quite fun!" [Travis Clemens]

• Bobblehead Of The Moment. This week I welcome Mr. Celery into my pantheon of bobbleheads, thanks to the Wilmington Blue Rocks of the Single-A Carolina League. The Blue Rocks held a very successful Mr. Celery Giveaway Night last week, and I received mine in the mail yesterday. Thanks! I am the luckiest boy in the world. The bobbing vegetable mascot statue occupies the top shelf of my collection now, along with the venerable James D. Watson bobblehead. In fact, if any teams are looking for ideas for a promotional giveaway, you really can't go wrong with the likeness of the Nobel Prize-winning molecular biologist who was one of the discoverers of the structure of the DNA molecule. You really can't.

• Mascot Of The Week. Snappy the Turtle, Beloit Snappers (Single-A Midwest League). The Snappers have a promotion in which Snappy wanders around town, and those who spot him are awarded two free Snappers tickets. One catch, though: The person must yell "Snappertastic!" in order to win the prize. But be careful; Snappy doesn't really look all that much like a turtle, so you wouldn't want to make a mistake and yell "Snappertastic!" at some random person at the mall. Oh, that would be unfortunate.

We want your minor league tips! Send photos, info on upcoming promotions and all recyclable bottles to RickChand@gmail.com. And thanks!

Did you know that soccer minnows Gillingham F.C. (from Kent, in England) actually banned celery from their Priestfield stadium about 10 years back because fans were throwing it onto the pitch? The club became so concerned that a player was going to get injured by flying celery that they started subjecting fans to celery searches, confiscating the offending vegetable before it could have someone's eye out.

Gillingham fans also have a famed "celery song", including the lyrics: Celery!! Celery!! If she don't come, I'll tickle her bum, with a lump of celery.

Reuters reports that Gillingham began to crack down when a goalie was hit with celery during a match. But we're more concerned about the "celery searches." "Is that a herbaceous biennial plant in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

Stalked By The Fans [This Is True]
Minor Enterprise: An Interview With Mr. Celery [Deadspin]