Back in January, we brought you Steven Tyler's "Star-Spangled Banner" performance and asked how it stacked up to the worst-ever performances. (Your leading vote-getter was Roseanne's regrettable 1990 crotch-grabbing rendition.)

When I was a kid, I used to sing in the school choir. We had recitals for parents and teachers, and for the recitals we'd have to dress up in chinos and dress shirts, and the music teacher would arrange us along a set of risers, with all the tall boys in back and all the short girls in the front, our feet pointed…