Rejoice: The New Mascot In The Washington Nationals' Presidents Race Is William Taft, Our Fattest And Sleepiest President [Update]

At a fan fest today, the Nationals will announce the addition of a new American president to their much-beloved mascot race, which already saw a shake-up late in the Nationals' season when Teddy Roosevelt won for the first time ever. Crowd-pleasers that the Nationals are, they understood that fans really mostly want… »1/26/13 2:00pm1/26/13 2:00pm

After One Of The Most Excruciating Losses In Postseason History, The Nationals Sent Their Fans A Ticket Presale Notice For The World Series

Want Nationals World Series tickets? That is too bad, because they lost their series with the Cardinals in objectively horrifying fashion last night, and you can't even get NLCS tickets, or any tickets, because there are no more games for the Nationals. The loss was painful, the way they lost was twisting the knife,… »10/13/12 11:55am10/13/12 11:55am

OK, Seriously, What The Hell Just Happened: The Cardinals Are Headed To The NLCS

Let's set aside the fact that the Nationals had the best record in baseball this year and the fact that the Cardinals had the worst record of any playoff team, because neither of those is the fundamental reason we ask this question: what the hell just happened? The Cardinals—the Pujols-less Cardinals, who started… »10/13/12 12:48am10/13/12 12:48am

Nationals Buoyed By Fans' "Magical" A-Ha Singalongs To "Take On Me"—And Tonight's Was The Best Yet

As noted earlier this week, Michael Morse's walkup music choice of a-ha's "Take On Me" has become a rallying cry for "Natitude." The intensity of the singing has increased as the series has gone on, and tonight's eighth-inning rendition was truly a sight to see. Er, hear. [TBS] »10/13/12 12:00am10/13/12 12:00am

93 Years After His Death, Teddy Roosevelt Finally Wins The Presidents Race At Nationals Park

This is a great day for America. What, the presidential debate tonight? Psh. No, it's because Teddy is finally off the schnide, having won his first-ever Presidents Race after 525 consecutive losses, thanks to some assistance from a faux-Phillie Phanatic. Ryan Zimmerman then homered to lead off the next inning and tie… »10/03/12 2:20pm10/03/12 2:20pm

The Nationals And Cubs Need To Work On Their Bench-Clearing Brawl Technique

#NATITUDE was on full display tonight at Nationals Park as an inside pitch to Bryce Harper, preceded by some jawing between Nationals third base coach Bo Porter and Cubs bench coach Jamie Quirk, led to perhaps the most anticlimactic bench-clearing brawl in baseball history. Lots of pushing, some yelling, bullpens… »9/06/12 11:31pm9/06/12 11:31pm

Bryce Harper Sprints Around The Bases For This Season's Fastest Home Run Trot

Bryce Harper has a way of making highlights of normal everyday things, like what's in the trunk of his car or how he answers a reporter's inane question. Then there's tonight, when Harper made everyone stop and take notice of what should've been a plain old home run trot, but Harper instead ran around the bases like… »8/30/12 9:15pm8/30/12 9:15pm

Here's A Washington Nationals Fan Firing A Gun From His Car While Driving

This is probably one of the dumbest things I've ever seen committed to pixels. This one has it all. We have this spider web-faced genius firing his gun out his window in a residential neighborhood, speeding through a residential neighborhood, pulling over so he can show the camera his other, bigger gun and you know,… »8/18/12 7:16pm8/18/12 7:16pm

Roger Bernadina Pulls Off The Season's Most Dramatic Game-Ending Catch

How much more heartache can Astros fans take? Finally, a game in which they were actually competitive and didn't give away the winning run while Benny Hill music seemingly played in the background. No, the Astros suffered a hard-luck loss tonight, putting the winning run on first base in the 12th inning before… »8/08/12 12:47am8/08/12 12:47am

Bryce Harper Has A Bat Rack In The Trunk Of His Customized Mercedes-Benz

From the Washington Post comes a visual tour through Bryce Harper's customized Mercedes-Benz AMG. It's a snazzy car, but not nearly as ostentatious as some other customized vehicles that we've seen from athletes in the past. Although Harper gets plenty of points for subtlety, that doesn't mean that his car isn't… »7/10/12 3:55pm7/10/12 3:55pm

Bryce Harper Will Train To Become A Firefighter In The Offseason So He'll "Have Something To Fall Back On"

Once upon a time, MLB players held jobs in the offseason. The good ones owned local businesses—car dealerships and the like—the not-so-good ones dug graves. But now that the owners and the union have thoroughly streamlined the process of separating you from your money, players don't need jobs in the offseason anymore.… »7/05/12 1:45pm7/05/12 1:45pm