Casspi was selected with the 23rd pick in the Draft last night, which, in David Stern's mind, completely validates the NBA's entire push for globalization. Shalom, chaver. If Casspi — a 6-foot-9 small forward who had some success in the Euroleague — makes the NBA, he will be the first Israeli and second active Jew in the league, which means Jordan Farmar no longer has to sing the four questions at the NBA's annual seder.

So what can we tell you the next Jewish Jordan? (Sorry, Tamir Goodman.) Per NBADraft.net, he is "very long and athletic with excellent frame, plus leaping and slashing ability," but he doesn't have an NBA body, can't guard better players, isn't a great shooter, can't break down defenders, needs to be a better rebounder and is too much of a prima donna. He's also a jersey-popper, his mixtape is littered with skull-pounding heavy metal and he already refers to himself in the third person. Now, a helpful hint from one member of the J-Team to another: We know you can dunk, but hanging on the rim — well, it's just not kosher.

Speaking of, it's only a matter of time before the Chabad temples in Sacramento start planning their field trips to ARCO Arena. Let's just hope the Lakers don't come to town on a Friday night.

Israeli hooper first round bound in NBA Draft [The God Blog]
Casspi 1st Israeli taken in 1st round [AP]
Israeli Casspi set for big stage [USA Today]

Now that the obvious pick is out of the way we can get to the interesting stuff. Where will Ricky Rubio land? Will Amar'e be traded? Who will be the last man sitting in the green room? How many euphemisms for "long" can the ESPN analysts craft between them? When will Stuart Scott make me regret doing this? How many times will Jay Bilas deride Rubio and Brandon Jennings? As for my guesses: Sacramento, Yes, Beaker, eleventy, 10 minutes ago, and way too many.

Please follow along throughout the night as I guide you through the majestic evening that is the NBA Draft. Before we move forward here are a few things you should know about me and the biases I bring to the table...

• I am an unabashed fan of the Washington Wizards, and a regular attendee at the Verizon Center as AJ thoughtfully displayed below. I really wanted them to draft Tyreke Evans, but I'm cool with the trade. Speaking of Les Boulez, the Wizznutzz are live-tweeting from the Mothering Hut, so go ahead and follow them.
• I attended the University of Pittsburgh and I'm rather passionate about their basketball program.
• I think Hasheem Thabeet is a pussy (see above).
• I also attended the University of Arizona (sort of) and I remain adamant that Salim Stoudamire is not only the best shooter on the planet, but a damn fine neighbor to boot. That being said, you won't hear me hyping up Chase Budinger at any point this evening.

I'll be live posting through the first 10 selections before we transition into a more traditional live blog format until I pass out.

Getty Image via Yahoo!

The Sacramento Bee's Sam Amick reports:

Rubio, who had planned on working out for the Kings last week before he became sick on the trip, took part in an individual workout that included Petrie and coach Paul Westphal and lasted approximately an hour. While the session remained secret at the request of his representatives, he told The Bee it was a necessary exercise that hardly showcased his game.

"It's difficult to show them what I have to do on the court, because there are no teammates and nobody there," Rubio said at the Sacramento airport just before leaving town. "I can't show them what I do on the court. This workout is not my style. I need my teammates around me to play basketball. I was alone."

Meanwhile, DraftExpress' Jonathan Givony believes the Kings, drafting fourth, were cooling on Rubio before the workout:

It's looking more and more clear that the Kings are not nearly as enamored with Ricky Rubio as they once were, for a number of reasons. The official party line is that Sacramento is concerned that Rubio will struggle to assert his leadership ability on the group of players they currently have in place, due to the fact that he's only 18 years old and not a native English speaker. One of the biggest issues Sacramento had last year was with the culture of their team lockerroom. On top of that, the Kings are worried that will Rubio will have a huge target on his chest coming into the NBA, and that other players will "try to go at him every single night."

Just days before the draft, Rubio remains its most fascinating story, if only for the various psychodramas that seem to spring up all around him. Consider this blog entry, from the Bee's Sam Amick, who marvels at the lengths to which grown men go to get a glimpse of the kid (and who, not incidentally, chased down Rubio at the airport to record three minutes of Spanish-accented mumbling). Amick uses the word "shame" four times.

Between this and Brandon Jennings' lame shit-talk and the Kings' assorted phantom concerns, I'd say Rubio has already had a substantial impact on the NBA. He hasn't played a minute yet and he's turned the whole damn league into a bunch of neurotics.

Kings finally get to see Rubio play [Sacramento Bee]

Jennings isn't sold on the Rubio hype, so he blabbed to SI.com that Rubio isn't all that. NBA executives love his trashtalking upside:

"Well, put it like this: If he was in a workout with me [and fellow point-guard prospects] Jonny Flynn, Jrue Holiday, Tywon Lawson, Stephen Curry, he wouldn't probably be at the top," Jennings said Friday.

When asked if he thought Rubio, who has received great attention but has not worked out for NBA teams, is all hype, he said without hesitation, "Yes. Because he played in the Olympics, he's been playing pro ball since he was like 14. So there it is right there. ... I can't wait to play him, though, in summer league. I'm just letting you know that now. I can't wait.

"Yeah, I think I'm a better player than he is. I just shoot the ball better than he can. The only thing I've seen him do sometimes is when he has a home-run pass or something like that. I think the dude is just all hype. I can't even front. I'm just going to be real with you guys."

So there you have it. Jennings goes to Europe and comes back for the NBA Draft when all along, the trick was to actually be from Europe and bigwig the most interested NBA teams. Oh, and Jennings might have a point: When the two squared off on 11 December (Euro!), Rubio went scoreless with three turnovers in eight-plus minutes.

UPDATE: All that stuff Jennings said about Rubio? He didn't mean any of it, he informed the world on Twitter. He would never disrespect Rubio.

Jennings calls Rubio overhyped [Sports Illustrated]

Gary Peterson of the San Jose Mercury News noted that all of the camp attendees had many glowing things to say about the organization, the fans, and the coach that they would one day hope to play for; all of them betraying the fact that they clearly know nothing about Golden State basketball. If they're willing to kiss Warrior butt just to get that first-round lottery money, they must really, really want to be rich.

Here are some of the whoppers they told:

• Louisville's Terrence Williams: "If I wind up here, they'd call my name and I'd already be on the plane. I wouldn't ever leave here. I would love to be here. Jamal Crawford is like a brother."

• Temple's Dionte Christmas: "They have a great team, a great coach and a great coaching staff. They're a couple pieces away from being one of the top teams in the league. I like their style.

• Arizona's Chase Budinger: "This is a great place. The atmosphere is incredible. The fans are so loyal, and Don Nelson's a great coach. Great city, great fans, great team."

• Gonzaga's Austin Daye: "I'd be very happy. I have good friends on the team - Anthony Randolph and Ronny Turiaf. As long as Nellie likes me, I'm good with that."

Peterson, however, is not buying it.

You figure Williams, who spent four seasons playing for coach Rick Pitino, knows people in basketball who know other people in basketball. So you'd think he has some inkling that the Warriors are a team without form guided by a front office addled by personal agendas. Then again, the man is looking for a job....

Makes you wonder - did [Buddinger] see one of the games where [Don] Nelson gave Stephen Jackson the night off, or one of the games where he let assistant coach Keith Smart run the defense?

Christmas said, "They run and gun and get it done." Do you suppose he'd settle for two out of three?

I think Peterson probably wishes he could get drafted by a paper that covers the Lakers.

Peterson: NBA draft hopefuls will say anything [San Jose Mercury News, via Big Lead; pic via]

The lad is nothing if not precocious. According to DraftExpress' Jonathan Givony, Rubio's camp, led by agent Dan Fegan, has given off signs that "he's not interested in the least bit in playing in Memphis." A source tells Givony:

"Rubio doesn't want to go to Memphis, and he especially does not want to pay money out of his own pocket with that huge buyout for the honor of doing so. Fegan [Rubio's agent] wants him in L.A., and if he can't have him there, he wants him in Sacramento. Definitely not Oklahoma City. "

Fegan, you might remember, was the guy who in 2007 tried to leverage age-fudger Yi Jianlian into a major market, a plan that went down in flames but allowed Yi the luxury of quietly disappointing people in Milwaukee instead of loudly busting elsewhere. Rubio, as Givony notes, has the option of staying in Spain. This is a perfectly acceptable alternative these days — it'll be interesting to see if the growing viability of the international game loosens up something as flagrantly labor-unfriendly as the NBA draft — but it'd be a huge disappointment to those of us tired of watching low-res YouTube clips in which Rubio appears to be playing basketball in an airport smoking lounge.

NBA Draft Roundup, May 20 [DraftExpress]

How? By letting one lucky Thunderhead fly in a big ol' plane to see the fancy lights and perfume stores of New York City to watch the Thunder participate in the annual NBA Lottery ping-pong festival. The rules? Easy. Just follow the directions provided by this press release.

Oklahoma City, Tuesday, May 5, 2009 – Last month the Oklahoma City Thunder launched an NBA Draft Lottery Challenge to find out who was the most creative and enthusiastic fan when the balls fall at the Draft Lottery on Tuesday, May 19 in Secaucus, NJ. All fans 18 or older who were Oklahoma state residents were asked to submit a seven-word description explaining why they should be in attendance at the Lottery later this month.

2,174 entries came into thunder.nba.com, and the search has been narrowed to three. Fans are now asked to log onto thunder.nba.com to choose their favorite entry. Voting continues through 2 p.m. on Thursday, May 7. The winner will win round-trip airfare from Oklahoma City to New York City, hotel accommodations, per diem for the trip and will head to the Draft Lottery at the NBA Entertainment studios.

The three finalists are:

1. Thunder rocks Loud City; New York's next

2. I am Thunder loud and Oklahoma proud

3. Gonna wear my Thunderwear in Times Square

I'm surprised they didn't open this contest up to Sonics fans?

But, you know, we can't just let the Thunder fans show off their half-assed Haiku-ery intimidate us. Let's show these Thunder fans how to really make a statement about the Thunder in seven words. Work your magic in the comments please.

Thunder Draft Lottery Challenge [NBA.com]

Brook Lopez, one half of the approximately 14 feet that is the Lopez twins, was considered the more-talented basketball brother at Stanford University this past season. Although possibly not the more mature. Witness his wit and wisdom during the NBA Draft, including the highly quotable: "This is so booooooring!"

Lopez went to the Nets with the 10th pick, so I don't know what he was complaining about. Did he expect to go second? Robin Lopez then went to the Suns at No. 15. If Shaq sticks around, that's some speedy team they're building in Arizona.

Brook Lopez Is A Special Guy [Odenized]

There's a tendency, when an athlete comes to an American sports from another country (particularly a European one), to make fun of them for not understanding our sports culture, as if they are dumb or have never seen fans boo before. The guy's from Italy. We're pretty sure he's dealt with crazy fans before. Knicks fans booing? That's nothin'. Though he could definitely improve on his ability to appropriately Vogue.

The general consensus — as if anybody knows anything — is that the Trail Blazers did well, the Bobcats did poorly and that the Nets are so desperate to land LeBron that they're willing to play Vince Carter and four stooges for the next couple of years. That makes an odd amount of sense.

By the way: The Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society returned, again, to watch the man work.

By the way, what can we possibly say about yesterday? We didn't know it was happening and were absolutely blown away. Simmons? Van Pelt? That RIDICULOUS Skeets video, which we could send to Bob Costas if, you know, Bob Costas had an email address. We're not sure what we can possibly say except to salute the genius of Drew and Daulerio for putting it together and to be supremely aware that there's no possible way we're gonna be able to top that today. We'll try to finish up around 5 today so everyone can go enjoy their weekend. So bear with us.

-Hold everything. The WWL reports the mother of all draft night trades: the rights to Mayo, Marko Jaric, Antoine Walker and Greg Buckner to the Grizzlies in return for the draft rights to Kevin Love, Mike Miller, Brian Cardinal and Jason Collins. I knew McHale couldn't resist Love!

-Okay, last word. Chalmers going to Miami might matter. Sneaky way to pick up a point guard, one who went a lot later than he should've. No one but DraftExpress has that Batum to Portland deal. And I messed up who DeAndre Jordan went to. Blame it on the fatigue. With that, I bid you good night.

-Thanks for making Deadspin your NBA Draft destination. We should all expect some answers tomorrow.

-47. Wizards: Bill Walker. And there it is. Bilas, it wasn't a torn miniscus during workouts.

-Strangely, Bilas and Stu seem to be getting more lucid the longer this drags on.

-Just waiting on Bill Walker, then I quit.

-Finally. Douglas-Roberts goes to the Nets at 40. This might have put New Jersey past Portland for best draft. If you care about stuff like that.

-Sidney Weems sounds like someone who would've played for the Bulls in the 1970's.

-Forgot to mention that Chalmers went to the Wolves at 34. This CDR stuff is getting ridiculous.

-Apparently, I missed something important: Arthur going to the Rockets for Batum and a second-rounder, which I think already happened. Wasn't Seattle supposed to have the 400 picks in this draft?

-This is when we point out that Portland can't really bring on too many new players, so it's good to have a promising draftee stashed away in Europe.

-Oh, and I reminded Doc that, by taking Giddens in the first round, it wasn't a question of whether he "could play for us." It's called a guaranteed contract.

-Wow, that was great. I've been writing since the second round started and it all disappeared. Basically, I was surprised that Dorsey went before CDR (no shit), thought Portland was doing well

-Also, I made a joke about Adam Silver being the mouth inside the Alien's mouth, and wondered if I'd made it last year.

-30. Celtics: J.R. Giddens. KING ME. DRAFT GENIUS IN ACTION. If you scroll up/back/down forty-five miles or so, you'll notice me saying he could be the forgotten guard that teams take a look at when they're drafting late. Then again, I also assumed Chalmers, Douglas-Roberts, and Walker would be gone.

-Does Dick Vitale even watch pro basketball?

-There are so many Kinks songs you could write about Bilas.

-Why are the Celtics getting to take so long? This preferential treatment stops NOW.

-By the way, I said to someone today, this second round is going to matter. Stay tuned. That's where the real important stuff will happen.

-You know how the Class of 2007 was supposed to be so great for the sport, and then was a total letdown. The draft of 2008 is like that. They should cut away to Beasley and Riley's ongoing phone conversation, where they're debating the meaning of life, love and everything.

-Reminder: MARIO CHALMERS, CHRIS DOUGLAS-ROBERTS, DEANDRE JORDAN, BILL WALKER

-29. Pistons: D.J. White.

-JVG with an uncommon note of sincerity is his plea for appreciation of the Pistons, and "all they have accomplished."

-28. Grizzlies: Donte Greene. Gay&Warrick&Greene would be an amazing, if implausible, frontline. Too bad Kevin Love spoils the pot. Really stupid of them to not take CDR, unless it's proof they're planning to move ASAP. Yes, I am dealing in conspiracy theories at this late hour.

-Grizz on the clock, blah blah blah, they might want to consider "best available." Oh wait, there are still like 6 or 7 guys left who were supposed to go in the teens. What a bittersweet luxury.

-I'm hoping we'll start hearing about some trades soon. . .

-27. Hornets (for Blazers): Darrell Arthur. Yeah, I'd say that this draft has worked out well for Portland. Bayless and Arthur for a team that gets Oden, too, to start next season. Oh, and Ike Diogu, who at one point everyone wanted to trade for.

-Incidentally, this Ibaka pick makes me think that the Sonics lost their lease battle thing.

-Wow. The Blazers as a "struggling young team?" Did someone not watch last season?

-Hold up, didn't Turiaf get drafted when he needed a heart transplant? What's the big deal about a little kidney issue?

-26. Spurs: George Hill. Hill's from IUPI, which I thought was a news wire service.

-D'Antoni is so real. The only person willing to say that, if you need a point guard to turn a team around, you can't just assume that the third best one in the draft will do that. There's drafting for need in rotation, then there's drafting for need in a real, franchise-defining way. The latter is not to be taken lightly.

-25. Rockets: Nicolas Batum. Okay, that's nice. He was a projected lottery pick at one point. T-Mac won't last forever. They could use some more athleticism.

-Ugh. Undisclosed kidney issue for Arthur.

-Okay, now that I've gotten over gushing about Ibaka, that was stupid of Presti. I just listed everyone still on the board. The Sonics need people who can play; Ibaka the polar opposite of that. He won't even be in the NBA for years! It sure goes along with trying to keep the team bad. But really, CDR, Chalmers, Arthur, Greene couldn't have helped?

-As my colleague Chris Littmann put it "some contenders are about to load up."

-24. Sonics: Serge Ibaka. Okay, that's fucking weird. Ibaka's agent told teams not to take him first round, since he's signing a huge contract in Spain. With a big buyout. Going in the second would mean he could come over earlier. But I guess the Sonics really wanted him. Full disclosure: He's one of my favorites in this draft. Insane athlete, raw but resourceful, kind of like Tyrus Thomas if he understood the abstract principle of learning or problem-solving. Has been coached some.

-So we're at 24, and Arthur's available, and CDR, and Chalmers (depends on if you think Westbrook is a PG). And Donte Greene. . .

-23. Jazz: Kosta Koufos. Stu: "He is here in spirit because he is so big."

-22. Magic: Courtney Lee. A lot of people saw this one coming a mile away. He's a guard, but he's big. I don't know if that means the Magic are committing to small + Howard or making an effort to beef up.

-JVG is an honorary Jew, SVG an honorary Latino.

-My bad. . . 21. Nets: Ryan Anderson

I spaced out for a second there trying to find some reaction whatsoever in the comments to this. I wonder if y'all are just reading the comments as their own live-blog. God damn interactive web publishing.

-Okay, so about this leaving the green room: Doesn't that show a lack of character? Weakness? Refusal to take it like a man? Is it less manly than crying in the green room?

WWDRD?

WWMBD?

WWBLD?

ESPN, you can thank me later for that brilliant draft promo campaign.

-20. Bobcats: Alexis Ajinca. Color me absolutely shocked. I actually know something about Ajinca, or can at least say that I've interviewed him. He is physically ridiculous, and pretty darn skilled, but yeah, he's not ready yet. I just can't imagine Larry Brown likes this idea, or that Michael Jordan cares enough to think into the future and imagine what Ajinca might play like.

-Larry Brown and Michael Jordan are going to make me a sandwich, because that's the one thing happening right now that they couldn't screw up. Actually, scratch that. "Larry Brown and Michael Jordan Making A Sandwich" is a Terry Riley short film.

-That was really dumb, seeing as they need a point guard (Chalmers) and could use some more varied offense (Arthur).

-19. Cavs: J.J. Hickson. Wait, I don't understand. Is a motor an attitude thing, or a physical thing? Or both?

My thinking, as of right now—which is how LeBron thinks about this team, which is what matters—is that Hickson < Gooden < Boozer.

-A TRADE: AND AGAIN I AM ALIVE That's what I'm talking about. Pacers get Jack and Brandon Rush, Blazers get Bayless and Diogu.

Of course Rush's reaction doesn't change, they all say the same thing no matter what.

THE RUSHES: REUNITED. That's a little tear for my eyes.

Not sure why the Pacers need Jack, when they got Ford. I guess they were more interested in backing up Ford than complementing him. Bayless still has to learn how to play the point, I guess, because he's not taking minutes from Roy. But he's certainly got more long-term potential than Jack, who is a poster child for draft pick ceiling.

-Words of wisdom from Jackson. Words to live by: "Take a fresh piece of gum and enjoy it."

-18. Wizards: JaVale McGee. I like to dream of a future where McGee and Blatche will threaten the sanity of the East. I wonder how Jamison feels.

-I take back the Brenda Fraser comment, Brook Lopez is like a giant brain-addled Joaquin Phoenix.

-"He's going to bring someone who can defend at the defensive end."—Terry Porter

-17. Pacers (from Toronto): Roy Hibbert. Ho-hum. A big guy to replace Jermaine O'Neal, I guess. As the team emphasis shifts to Danny Granger. When you've already got Jeff Foster. Why didn't they take Darrell Arthur, who suddenly became a storyline when we were reminded he was in the green room still?

They didn't invite Donte Greene because of the similarity to Rashard Lewis.

-16. Sixers: Marreese Speights. I like this pick. As much as I wanted them to take another wing, Speights has a chance to be what Reggie Evans was for those two games when he was busy being something far, far greater than Reggie Evans.

-I am really sorry for not saying much about the interviews. The technical difficulties threw me for a loop.

-What exactly is the advertising demographic for the NBA Draft? People who like sort of humorous PG adventure movies?

-Just wait till that Lopez Brothers movie where Brendan Fraser plays both.

-15. Suns: Robin Lopez. Steve Kerr is really trying to prove a point, I guess. Amare is on the block.

-It's really strange that the Warriors are the ultimate in up-tempo teams, but really don't have much interest in long, athletic finishers. They'd rather put Stephen Jackson or Pietrus at the PF.

-Vitale's on, so I can tune out the tv and think a little. Oh wait, he just said "you can always find some guards later." Right, except for this year.

He has fixated on the one guy he can bring his potential rant out for.

-Okay, about the Randolph pick: If Nelson isn't playing Wright, why exactly is Randolph an appealing option?

-14. Warriors: Anthony Randolph.

Bilas: "Considerable linear extent in space." Is Jeru ghostwriting for him?

-13. Blazers: Brandon Rush. Eventually, they're going to need a point guard, but Portland's stockpile of young talent is pretty impressive.

-I have waited so long to say this somewhere it would be seen: I want to smack the fuck out of that guy. Who relates to this nattily-dressed couch surfer? He's about as sympathetic as a trust fund cokehead with closet full of R.E.I. gear.

-Basketball hat on: I wonder why the Kings wouldn't have gone with one of the more potentiall-y big men. I know they need to figure out their SF/SG logjam, but is this the end of the Brad Miller era?

-12. Kings: Jason Thompson Huh? I guess he is, other than Hibbert, the "most ready to play now" of the zillion big men left.

Still, I thought he was supposed to go #30.

-How come no one ever asks "can you play the center in the pros" or PF, or SF. . . it's not like point guard is the only position that has any formal requirements or responsibilities.

-11. Pacers: Jerryd Bayless. Yeah, I'd say that counts as a steal. Plus, the Pacers seems less concerned than others about whether or not Bayless is (yet) a real point, since they just got Ford.

-Okay, I think I got things working again. Sorry about that.

-"A really big mean streak" sounds like a dirty underwear issue.

-I didn't miss Bayless being draft at 9.5, did I?

-You can actually now purchase a mean streak online. Check your hotmail.

-10. Nets: Brook Lopez.

Sorry, having serious technical issues. Stand by.

-9. Bobcats: D.J. Augustin. He's short.

-8. Bucks: Joe Alexander.

Does anyone want Bayless? Donte Greene was my big candidate to slide.

it's too bad "White Chocolate" is already taken as a nickname, because it really makes sense for a kid whose dad worked in the industry. The chocolate industry.

SAS really can't do any better than "tell what it took to get there."

-If the Bobcats don't take Bayless, Larry Brown really is the devil and I'm going to break my own thumb.

-I really, really wish that Walsh had said "he's the kind of player who can bring a team to its knees." Get it? With his dirty nickname and all?

-7. Clippers: Eric Gordon. Nice for them, they thought they were going to have to move up to get him. Remember so long ago, when things like "Beasley and Marion go to the Clips" seemed almost real?

Another Bilas gem: "off the bounce."

Dudes, of course a lot of freshman are being picked. There's an age limit now. You can't go out of high school. And now teams are willing to pick freshman like they're picking high school players, i.e. be a little patient with initial imperfections.

-Why did SAS just say "they are sleeping on you" like a white person would? It may it sound really literal. Oh wait, now he sounds like he's talking to a child.

-Isn't there an Alice in Chains song about heroin called "The Rooster?" Did anyone happen to hear the "We Want Beasley" chant at the Pearl Jam concert at MSG last night?

-Jay Bilas hasn't been the same since Josh Smith turned out to be good. All the bile drained out of him and he's now just an "expert." Not a pundit.

-6. Knicks: Danilo Galinari. So wait, are we not allowed to mention Bargnani here? Galinari supposedly "has a toughness," which sounds a lot like that "mean streak" that Darko was supposed to have that set him apart from all other Euros.

-Stan Love actually showed Kevin footage of Kevin McHale. O.J. MAYO'S FAVORITE PLAYER IS EARL MONROE. Fall back.

-Wait, I'm sorry. You can improve your "Explosion Ability?" Is ESPN outsourcing their copy?

-5. Grizzlies: Kevin Love. "Not a great runner of the floor" This might devolve into a close reading of Jay's greatest.

-Not to break character, but how exactly do Beasley and Marion work together?

-Oh wait, Durant's there with Beasley.

-They're talking like the Sonics have anyone on their team other than Durant. Really, it's cool, just get someone else good out there.

-4. Sonics: Russell Westbrook.

Why is Kevin Durant there? Is he hoping he'll get drafted onto another team? (I know, too easy)

-3. Timberwolves: O.J. Mayo. I feel so naked. I was expecting at least three crazy things to have happened already.

Mayo kind of sounds like Kobe. A baby Kobe. How come only Shaq got "Baby Shaq?" I guess there was "Baby Jordan." But really, it should be as much of a stand-by as "poor man's _________"

-Big ups to my father, who wears that exact same outfit Beasley has on when he has to go to Capitol Hill.

-How come no one has pointed out yet that BASKETBALL SHOULD BE FUN?

-Kirk Hinrich just had his neck slit in the barn behind the United Center. You would've heard the gurgle, but Beasley's other beeper went off.

-2. Heat: Michael Beasley. Will told me to do that. Sorry I forgot to do it for Rose.

Did Beasley just have a beeper go off?

That shot of Mayo lurking the shadows was awfully diabolical.

"Arms that stretch beyond human limits." Jay Bilas, you are my lady love. Those arms probably reach the center of the earth, where if one of those fly-trap looking fish things got a plastic bag stuck in its stomach, he could reach in and save it. Pat Riley would leave it for dead.

-Hey, did anyone notice that I just deleted everything I've written so far? Thank god for keeping fifty windows open at once.

-Derrick Rose: Afraid of needles. Michael Beasley: Likes them for the hell of it.

-I know this site is nominally friendly with ESPN today, but Jay Bilas makes a mockery of talking out loud about basketball. He's a wind-up toy.

-Oh, by the way, there are no guards in this draft and too many uncertain big men. Everyone will be disappointed, unless they're in the top ten. That's why I full expect many teams to move up backward (if that makes sense) into the second round, so they can justifiably draft J.R. Giddens.

-Life blog is like "life partner." It means I'm gay with this blog and will give it all the effort I would rectal sex. Right?

-Early fashion returns: Everyone looks like shit. Except for Mayo, who has this whole fresh to def Carlton Banks thing going. With the solid gold frames. Eric Gordon looks like a penguin, which isn't doing much to make me think he's not fat—something Shanoff's been telling me all week. Speaking of which, he'll be Twittering all night, in case you want to read someone who actually watches college ball.

-It's amazing how invisible Derrick Rose has become. The debate was never about him vs. Beasley, it was whether or not Beasley was worth of bread and water. And every time he gets on camera, Beasley jumps in front of him and makes a joke about fast food.

-Let's get two things out of the way: Don't expect any single line as good as that Noah one from last year, and it will continue to bug me all night that there is an entire separate sky and ocean at the center of the earth. Fuck that.

-Thanks, Will. I'm really thrilled to have to follow all that.

Now that we've had our first trade, we're all set to have some fun. We are still crossing our fingers that the Knicks will take Big Cock Gallinari, and that Eric Gordon — BOO! ERIC GORDON! BOO! — drops all the way to the second round.

Anyway, our own Bethlehem Shoals from Free Darko will be live blogging the draft for us tonight. We remind you of last year's endeavor, in which he described Joakim Noah as looking like "EVERY SINGLE BATMAN VILLAIN ROLLED UP INTO ONE." Yep. That'll be fun.

1. Michael Beasley: Dude is a straight-up athlete. His size, strength, and Plastic Man-like arms allow him to score from inside (53 percent shooting) and out (38 percent from three). During his freshman year at Kansas, he put up points (26.2), pulled down boards (12.4) and showed great versatility (in the NBA, he'll be able to play either SF or PF). His 1:2.5 assist-to-turnover ratio is a concern (think Eddy Curry and Zach Randolph), but let's face it: You want Beasley scoring, not running the offense. His biggest drawbacks seem to be that he's "immature" and — instead of the 6'10" he was reported to be in college — he's actually about four feet tall.

2. Derrick Rose: This kid is a strong, speedy PG who can blow by his man and shoot from distance but tends to think pass-first (ala Deron Williams). The biggest positive, though, is that he's solid on offense and defense. He's supposed to be a great leader, too. The biggest negatives are his sometimes clunky jumper (think a slightly better version of Rajon Rondo) and his poor freethrow stroke (71 percent). Fun fact: Rose has a tattoo on his left biceps depicting a wizard holding a staff in one hand and a basketball in the other. The tat is below the word "Poohdini."

3. O.J. Mayo: He's a shooter who can also get to the hoop and finish. People say he's very strong and has an "NBA-ready body" (I assume this means he's capable of fathering multiple children with several different women). Mayo can light it up (20.7 PPG last season) and bomb from deep (41 percent three-point shooting), and he can also D-up (when he chooses to). Unfortunately, he tends to believe that "defense" is just "waiting to get back on offense." Furthermore, he doesn't have a mid-range jumper and he's not much of a passer (3.3 APG compared to 3.5 TOs). Reports say that he's an egomaniac...but what NBA player isn't?

4. Jerryd Bayless: Don't be concerned by the fact that there are some vowels missing from his first name. Jerryd can score (19.7 PPG) and shoot (41 percent from downtown), and his decision-making ain't bad (1.4:1 assist-to-turnover ratio). A lightning-quick first step combined with mad springs allow him shuttle past his defenders, which sure compliments his air game. Don't expect this kid to hit the glass, though. And his defense is a little lacking for somebody so athletic (only 1.0 SPG). Can get a little shot-happy from time to time.

5. Kevin Love: Everything inside my brain is screaming to drop Love out of the Top 5. He's a white banger who draws favorable comparisons to Bill Walton. Need I say more? He put up numbers (17.5 PPG and 10.6 RPG) while shooting lights out (56 percent), and is considered an "amazing passer" despite his 1.9:2.0 assist-to-turnover ratio. He has a complete offensive game — baby hooks, mid-range jumpers, long-distance bombs, fantastic shot fakes, etc. — and he's tough on the boards and his opponents. But he's slow, bound by gravity, lacks stamina and has already struggled with knee issues. All of which mean he could end up being more Ostertag than Walton.

6. Russell Westbrook: I'll admit it: Westbrook has seduced me with his athleticism. He can sprint and slash, and explodes off the ground like NASA built him. He's not a great ball-handler and can't hit consistently from distance, but he's an above average passer who has shown a knack for improvement. He has strong work ethic and an aching hunger to play defense. He has...I can't believe I'm saying it...incredible upside.

7. Danilo Gallinari: Hey, what would the Top 10 be without at least one Euro player? And the G-Man is your typical Euro-style baller: He can score, rebound and pass, moves without the ball, hits from mid-range and has the all-important "high basketball IQ" (read that: he's not fast or athletic, but he can still play). He's got some solid pro-lite experience playing in the Italian league — in 2006 he was nominated best Italian player of LegADue championship and he was recently awarded with the Euroleague 2007-08 Rising Star Trophy — but anybody described as "a better long-term prospect than Andrea Bargnani" makes me nervous. Very nervous.

8. Eric Gordon: Some say he's like Ben Gordon 2.0. Okay, I said that, but still. The kid's a jumping jack who can shoot from area code range and take it to the hoop thanks to his crazy speed and springs. He's also a rugged defender who knows how to play the game. Unfortunately — to continue the Ben Gordon comparison — he's small for a SG (6'3") but not really cut out for point duty (mediocre handles, questionable shot selection, erratic passing). His shooting got ugly after he suffered a wrist injury in January. But he should be fine now. Ideal role: Sparkplug off the bench who can put up points fast.

9. Brook Lopez: Normally, I'd never let somebody named "Brook" sneak into my Top 10. However, the dude is big (7'1") and beefy (258 lbs), and he has a wide range of post moves. Hell, he can even stroke the J from up to 18 feet out. He's reasonably athletic and has a solid mind for hoops, but he's a little substandard on the boards despite his size and athleticism (8.2 RPG last season). His shot selection is sometimes under suspicion of sucking.

10. D.J. Augustin: This kid can score (19.2 PPG last season) and serve the rock (5.8 APG with a 2.1:1.0 assist-to-turnover ratio). He can bomb from outside (38 percent three-point shooting) and use his speed and springs to get to the rim...and finish. Here's the problem: He's not even as tall as the 6'0" he's listed at (probably closer to 5'10"). So no matter how talented he is — and he's really, really talented — that kind of, ahem, shortcoming will make it hard for any team to play him consistently against bigger PGs (which is just about everybody).

11. Joe Alexander: This guy has skills (scores inside and out, can leap out of the gym, knows the game, quick on his feet) and pedigree (three seasons at West Virginia). BUT...he can't handle the rock, tends to streak (at best) from distance and is a so-so rebounder for somebody his size. Makes me think of Brad Lohaus, and that's not a good thing. But one scout claimed that Joe is "obsessed" with improving and reminds him more of Tom Chambers. Maybe he's somewhere in between, more of a Brad Chambers, perhaps.

12. Brandon Rush: Rush is athletic, tall for a SG (6'7") and can flat-out light it up from Three Land (43 percent over three seasons at Kansas). Rush also rebounds well for a guard. He's strong, long-armed and versatile enough to play spot duty at SF. Three years at college means he's (probably) more mature and ready to contribute than most of the one-and-dones. The digs are that his handles are broke and he can't create his own shot. He's also had a history of ACL woes and he can't straighten his arm because of a childhood elbow injury.

13. Kosta Koufos: Typically, I don't trust big men from Ohio State. Remember that Greg Oden guy who went number one last year? What a bust! But it's hard to pass up a seven-footer with the wingspan of a pterodactyl who can score inside, shoot from outside and throw his weight around. He had a decent freshman year and averaged 26.5 points, 13 rebounds, 3.5 blocks and 1.4 steals in the U-18 European Championships this summer. That's the good news. The bad news is he's a sluggish defender who tends to disappear when he's not playing well...and his toughness has already come under question. Might be Darko Milicic 2.0.

14. Anthony Randolph: Athletic. Go-Go Gadget Arms. Wacko springs. Offense from the low post to mid-range. Fast. A solid rebounder and shot blocker. So why's he here instead of up there? Dude is a freaking twig: He's 6'10" but only 197 pounds. It's time to invest Beefcake 2000, otherwise a strong wind might blow this kid and all his potential far, far away.

15. Darrell Arthur: Mr. Arthur can streak from end line to end line, and his length and superior athletic ability allow him to score and defend against both SFs and PFs. He can score with his back to the basket and hit from the middle of the floor, and he'll even crash the boards. The not-so-upside is that he's a bit puny for the forward position, lacks three-point range and has been labeled a "black hole." Not good. Oh, and he tends to zone out. He's gotten this far on potential. It'll be interesting to see if he realizes it.

Also? Per his own personal website, it appears his nickname is "Big Cock." SOS trolled Gallinari's website equipped with a handy Google Italian-to-English translator to decipher what in the name of flaming-rooster-heads his legions of fans are talking about. Apparently, they love the cock:

Yesterday evening I was lucky enough to be ... fantastic game ... and as always great cock!

Written by Francy May 19 08 @ 20:23

great guys! grande vuckevic, super-booker e mitico gallo!! vuckevic great, super-booker and mythical cock!
l'atmosfera al forum era spettacolare! the atmosphere at the forum was spectacular! grazie! thank you! e adesso continuate così!!! and now continue so!

Written by chelseadaggers May 13 08 @ 17:28

27 points big cock !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scritto da walter_94 il 19 maggio 08 @ 17:24 Written by walter_94 May 19 08 @ 17:24 (Link)

Even though Gallinari seems ready to take over the NBA, the only question is — is the NBA ready for Big Cock?

Danilo Gallinari Shall Now Be Known As Big Cock [Simon on Sports]
Danilo Gallinari [Danilo Gallinari's Website]

• Break out the bleach. The countdown to Wimbledon is on (we're under 13 hours!) and the eyes are the players sitting atop the bracket. Roger Federer has won the tournament an absurd six consecutive times, but he's had trouble holding off Raphael Nadal of late. The women's field is topped by Ana Ivanovich, who in addition to being amazing is quite capable on the grass.

• Break out the pinstripes. The NBA Draft/Fashion Show is going down on Thursday night in New York and everybody's waiting to see if Bill Walker will wet himself while waiting in the crowd for the second round to begin. Of course there will be other memorable happenings, like the shot of a puzzled Knicks fan wondering why they took that Italian kid instead of Mayo. Hopefully the Wizards will even have a big man with a pulse and the ability to rebound fall into their laps. That would be nice. Hell, I might even read the SG's diary. Is that in live blog form these days?

• Break out the Pacman. Manny Pacquiao, Ring Magazine's new pound-for-pound champion, faces a tough test from American David Diaz on Saturday night in Vegas for the latter's lightweight title. Pacman is an all action fighter who hasn't been stopped in nine years and Diaz is a former Olympian, and a three time Golden Gloves national champion. He decisioned, and retired, the legendary Erik Morales to win the WBC belt. Pacman has always been considered among the best in the world, and now he'll face a true lightweight, and a champion at that.

It has been a whirlwind 365 days for the Bulls, who went from Expected NBA Title Contender to Team That's Firing Its Coach And Missing The Playoffs to Team That's Using Its Supposed Trade Chips Not For Kobe Bryant But Drew Gooden to ... winning the lottery. The choices are local guy Derrick Rose and muscular Michael Beasley; Blog-A-Bull is in favor of Rose.

The Heat will take whoever is left over, and then the Timberwolves, despite their special teddy bear, didn't end up with the top pick. Honestly, we thought Fred Hoiberg was gonna strangle that bear.

We're gonna talk about the Knicks' sixth pick a little later. But Chad Ford already has us very tickled.

Before you start laughing, just remember the Mrs. McGee was a former star herself, winning college championships at USC and playing in the WNBA, as well as coaching there. Now you may resume laughing, as here's what she wrote about her baby boy:

He blockshots [sic] like Tyson Chandler and has a 33 inch vertical jump and dunks like Micheal Jordan, as a seven-footer. He can face the basket and create off the dribble like an athletic Dirk. The intriguing question that baffles scounts [sic] is not is he a pro? But how good of a pro will he become.

2008 Draft Profile - JaVale McGee [MyNBADraft.com]