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nba playoffs
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nba playoffs
chris freaking paul
So, You've Been Watching Chris Paul, Right?
We know that the Hornets lost last night, and that the Lakers are sweeping through the playoffs, and that LeBron is kind of embarrassing himself a little bit. But all this playoff business only brings one thing to our mind: Heavens to Betsy, Chris Paul is freaking amazing. More »
the number 23
Pizza Madness Grips Ohio
OK, it wasn't quite THAT bad. But Papa John's 23-cent pizza promotion in Northeast Ohio on Thursday did draw enormous crowds, and wasn't completely peaceful. Aside from some stores running out of pizzas, there were shoving matches and verbal altercations as people waited in line for discount pies for as long as five hours. More »
nba closer
Invasion Of The LeBron Snatchers!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who could be replaced by an alien doppelganger any day now. It's been nice knowing you. When he's not trying to organize an underground resistance, he can be found practicing his "Nanu Nanu" at Basketbawful. Enjoy!
We are all witnesses...to an alien invasion! The Martians have struck again. This time, they kidnapped our King and replaced him with a near-to-exact duplicate. It looks like LeBron James. It rumbles through the paint like LeBron James. It probably even cries like LeBron James. They only thing our soon-to-be space overlords forgot was to turn the doppelganger's basketball dial up to 11. I mean, are we really supposed to believe that The Chosen One suddenly forgot how to play basketball? Nice try, Zi'Zhizhipheq of Thooq. But we humans didn't evolve from ocean sludge yesterday, you know. We'll be sending Bruce Willis to kick your space butts now. Yippee ki-yay, you green bastards.
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nba playoffs
The NBA Playoffs: A Thursday Night Viewer's Guide
Basketbawful once again brings you the nightly NBA previews. And the Spurs' championship formula. Basically, they...well, keep reading.Cleveland versus Boston: Game 2
LeBron James. I'm not a betting man, but I'd be willing to bet my life's savings - all $27.93 of it - that LeBron isn't going to have the worst game of his career for the second straight game. In fact, I kind of expect a triple double.
Grammar. Said LeBron: "I can't play no worse than I did (in Game 1)." But...doesn't that mean...he actually can play worse? I'm just sayin'.
Contradictions. Although he presumably thinks he can't possibly play any worse than he did in Game 1, the King won't admit it was his worst-ever game. "No, nah, nah. It's not the worst. At the end of the day we still had a chance to win the ball game. I wasn't satisfied with the way I played but saying it's my worst game, nah." Memo to LeBron: Make up your mind. Either you can't play no worse or you didn't have your worst game. Pick one and go with it.
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king james
LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter
Anbody who's ever been a waiter in their life realizes that it can be a dreadfully demeaning job. Regardless of how much tip money you collect for five hours of work (most of which usually go back into the restaurant during the post-shift decompression time at the bar) there's always a moment when you say to yourself, "This is why I should've never been an English major." More »
what happened
Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?
Remember when Dywane Wade was everybody's favorite athlete? Humble, freakishly talented, good to his family, an All-American guy. So ... what happened? More »
nba closer
Kobe, Pretentious Lakers Fans Celebrate A Lifetime Of Achievement
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is about to take you to another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into the wondrous land of the NBA. Next stop, the Basketbawful zone. Enjoy!
That was just so Hollywood. Kobe Bryant got his perfect script. On the night he was presented his Lifetime Achievement Award MVP, his 34 points, 8 rebounds and 6 assists helped lead the Lakers to a 120-110 victory over the Utah Jazz in Game 2 of the teams' second-round series. The only thing missing was Mamba slithering back to the locker room in slow motion while Chariots of Fire played in the background.
NBA Playoffs: A Wednesday Night Viewer's Guide
It's hump day, and Basketbawful is here to mount your leg in celebration. Oh, and I'll be previewing tonight's games, too.
Utah versus L.A.: Game 2
nba closer
Merciful God Answers Prayers, Ends Game 1 Of Cavs-Celts Series
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who woke up this morning without Internet access and had to rush off to a Caribou Coffee, where the "free WiFi hotspot" actually cost him a bag of Deep River potato chips. When he's not finding a way to do his Deadspin column at the last second, he can be found wiping the sweat out of his armpits at Basketbawful. Enjoy!
Well, that was sure...entertaining. Did you enjoy the 1994 NBA Finals? Do you miss those halcyon days of the Knicks-Heat rivalry? Has watching the Spurs slowly and methodically grind their opponents into paste over the last 10 years been the highlight of your existence? Then Game 1 of the Cavaliers-Celtics series was for you! And you are a freak. Please stay away from me and my column. I'm kidding. Keep reading. I get bonuses for page views.
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nba playoffs
NBA Playoffs: A Tuesday Night Viewer's Guide
Ah, sweet Tuesday...still 20 percent better than Monday. Basketbawful is here to help you celebrate that fact and disentagle all those thoughts you thought you had about tonight's Cavs-Celtics game.
Cleveland versus Boston: Game 1
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nba draft lottery
Betting On The NBA Draft Lottery. Really.
We are but a mere two weeks from the NBA Draft Lottery, in which we discover what poor budding NBA superstar is shuttled off to Madison Square Garden. If you can't wait to see what happens, or if you just don't find the shuffling of ping-pong balls as thrilling as perhaps you should, worry not. Now you can bet on it. More »
free darko presents
Free Darko On Boston-Cleveland
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Boston Celtics-Cleveland Cavaliers series. Your author is Dr. Lawyer IndianChief.
I'm sorry Cleveland, but you guys have got to have the least threatening, least homecourt-advantage-giving playoff crowd in this entire field of 16. Yes, I know San Antonio didn't even fill its arena for some of its first round games, and yeah, I know Toronto and Orlando don't exactly bring the noise, but still, you guys take last. It's not your fault; trust me I know. You guys have had to tiptoe around LeBron ever since he denied signing the max contract, not to mention the fact that Cleveland sports fans in general constantly have to hold their collective breath given years of spurning by the Browns, Indians, and Ehlos. Nonetheless, in a toss-up series, home court advantage might just make the difference, and it's going clearly in Boston's favor.
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nba closer
Pistons, 19th Century Technology Defeat Magic
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's interested to see how the Celtics plan to stop LeBron tonight. (He suggests napalm and well-trained attack dogs.) When he's not making violent anti-LeBron plans, he can be found relieving his NBA bladder at Basketbawful. Enjoy!
Mmmm...more home cookin'. The Detroit Pistons had the Orlando Magic over for a little playoff dinner, and Stan Van Gundy's team is still choking on the crap they got served at the end of the third quarter. The game clock mysteriously froze at 4.8 seconds, which gave Chauncey Billups the extra time he needed to hit a momentum-changing three-pointer with "0.5 seconds" left. The three-that-wasn't-a-three gave the Pistons a 78-76 lead going into the fourth. Here's some video of the refs getting it wrong. Here's some video of the TNT broadcasters proving the refs got it wrong. And here are some reactions from both sides. Guess which side was not okay with it?
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nba playoffs
NBA Playoffs: A Monday Night Viewer's Guide
It's just another manic Monday, but never fear, Basketbawful is here...to once again tell you the only things you need to know about tonight's NBA playoff games. I'm not just doing this for you, though. I'm doing it for my country.
Orlando versus Detroit: Game 2
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nba closer
Congratulatory Hugs Aren't What They Used To Be
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is eagerly awaiting the Hawks-Celtics game. When he's not stenciling a green shamrock on his butt cheeks, he can be found holding Damon Wayans hostage at Basketbawful. Enjoy!
Bird droppings. It's finally official: There will be no first round upset of the Boston Celtics. And after yesterday's 99-65 spit-roasting, there's barely enough left of the upstart Hawks to fill a doggy bag.
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free darko presents
Free Darko On Los Angeles-Utah
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Los Angeles Lakers-Utah Jazz series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals.
What's been going on with the Jazz and Lakers, respectively? It took Utah six games to knock off Houston, a streaky, rag-tag, injury-ridden team that everyone kind of wanted to play in round one. They even dropped one at home, where they're supposed to not lose, ever. The Lakers, they blew through Denver — the eighth seed no one wanted to play — like it wasn't worth noticing. Were the Nuggets remotely normal, they'd be melting down like the Mavs right about now.
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another nba closer
Pistonmania Is Running Wild On The Magic!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is eagerly awaiting the Hawks-Celtics game. When he's not stenciling a green shamrock on his butt cheeks, he can be found holding Damon Wayans hostage at Basketbawful. Enjoy!
The Pistons have officially "Hulked out." No, I'm not talking about Bill Bixby or even Jenny McCarthy. I'm referring to the old Hulk Hogan riff where he'd get beaten up badly enough to kill a full-grown moose but — right before losing his last hit point — immediately return to full health, shaking and flexing like somebody just stuffed his junk into an electrical outlet. Then he'd take two punches to the face without being fazed, block the third, deliver three punches of his own, fling his opponent to the ropes, kick them in the head, give them the atomic leg drop, and pin them. Worked every time...for 20 years.
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