When my alarm went off this morning and they were discussing the Wizard of Westwood on the radio, I thought for sure it was because he had died. This is much better.
I can't wait for misguided commenters to do the following:
- Compare Wooden's age to Joe Paterno
- Compare Wooden's age to John McCain
- Suggest Wooden was alive during some historical event -- say, the Civil War or the Fall of Rome.
- Make a "Dirty Sanchez" joke (may not happen in this thread)
he's already 99, I thought, as young army-men in the Spanish-American War, Wooden, McCain, and JoePa, otherwise known as the Three Amigos, were able to track down and bury the Mexican Army General Juan Sanchez in a planned mudslide, so that he was forever remembered as "The great Dirty Sanchez"
We achieved this status by being in the top 10 percent of all the zoos in the country.
As reported in the 'U.S. Zoos and World Report ("All the Zoos That's Fit to Print!") 2009 Zoo Rankings - Central New York, Cities Starting with 'B,' Zoos Employing Business Managers Whose Last Names Are One Letter Removed From the Name of a Reality TV Show Host Division!'
Not one of our tigers has been arrested with cocaine. No otter knocks over old ladies to shoplift condoms. Our bear doesn't have temper tantrums and storm off his exhibit. You won't find any of our lemurs busted for smoking pot.
Padwa went on to say "The monkeys stand for honesty, giraffes are insincere, and the elephants are kindly but they're dumb. Orangutans are skeptical of changes in their cages, and the zookeeper is very fond of rum. Zebras are reactionaries, antelopes are missionaries, pigeons plot in secrecy, and hamsters turn on frequently. What a gas! you gotta come and see at the zoo."
12/13/09
12/13/09
I still haven't gotten over what happened when I told John McSherry that I was sleeping with his mother.
12/13/09
In retrospect, bringing the "Hank Gathers is Adopted" sign to the arena wasn't the best decision I ever made.
12/13/09
12/13/09
10/14/09
He got that sage advice from Zane Grey.
10/14/09
10/14/09
10/14/09
10/14/09
10/14/09
10/14/09
10/14/09
- Compare Wooden's age to Joe Paterno
- Compare Wooden's age to John McCain
- Suggest Wooden was alive during some historical event -- say, the Civil War or the Fall of Rome.
- Make a "Dirty Sanchez" joke (may not happen in this thread)
10/14/09
10/14/09
10/14/09
10/14/09
Maybe not the Fall or Rome but he was coaching at UCLA when California still belonged to the Mexicans.
10/14/09
10/14/09
he's already 99, I thought, as young army-men in the Spanish-American War, Wooden, McCain, and JoePa, otherwise known as the Three Amigos, were able to track down and bury the Mexican Army General Juan Sanchez in a planned mudslide, so that he was forever remembered as "The great Dirty Sanchez"
10/14/09
10/14/09
09/29/09
As reported in the 'U.S. Zoos and World Report ("All the Zoos That's Fit to Print!") 2009 Zoo Rankings - Central New York, Cities Starting with 'B,' Zoos Employing Business Managers Whose Last Names Are One Letter Removed From the Name of a Reality TV Show Host Division!'
09/29/09
09/29/09
Did U.S. Zoos and World Report list the Audubon Zoo in New Orleans as the top party zoo again?
09/29/09
Padwa went on to say "The monkeys stand for honesty, giraffes are insincere, and the elephants are kindly but they're dumb. Orangutans are skeptical of changes in their cages, and the zookeeper is very fond of rum. Zebras are reactionaries, antelopes are missionaries, pigeons plot in secrecy, and hamsters turn on frequently. What a gas! you gotta come and see at the zoo."
09/29/09
/gets angry letter from Christina T. Padwa
Business Manager
Binghamton Psych Ward