I mean, where do you even start with this?
Tomorrow's Reds game will be a gala affair. They're celebrating Pete Rose breaking the hits record, honoring local firemen, and since it's 9/11, some Navy SEALs will be on hand to conduct an "extraction simulation" before delivering the game ball. [Cincinnati Enquirer]
Wonderful American sports superstar superskating phenomenon Johnny Weir has granted his first interview to a gay sports publication! (I know, right?)
"Well, that guy is not in the league anymore. The other 2-3 is now on the good side now. That other 2-3 is gone, so we don't have to worry about that no more." [LeBron James, after his last-second shot won Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals]