No One Notices The Spurs Because No One Notices San Antonio

Here's a working barstool-grade theory as to why, during its dynastic run to four (perhaps soon five) titles since 1999, America still embraces the San Antonio Spurs with a yawn and a why are you still here? squint. This phenomenon has flustered if not baffled sports cognoscenti for years. But they play pure,… » 6/08/13 4:11pm 6/08/13 4:11pm

Why Did The Superdome Power Go Out?

The lights went out, and they stayed out for 34 minutes. Colin Kaepernick had just been sacked, and the 49ers were down 22, and if momentum is a real thing, the blackout swung it firmly to San Francisco. Had the Niners come back to win, the power outage would've gone down in sports history as one of the great… » 2/04/13 12:40pm 2/04/13 12:40pm

This Flaccid Times-Picayune Write-Up Of The Playboy Super Bowl Party…

While the most odious piece of Super Bowl journalism was achieved, flagrantly, when Rick Reilly decided it was his place to tell Colin Kaepernick how to run his complicated family life, the silver-medal podium had remained fallow until today. We can all thank the scorched shell of the Times-Picayune to fill the void… » 2/02/13 9:40pm 2/02/13 9:40pm

Drunk 49ers Fan Crashes Broadcast. Reporter Asks Her, "How Long Have…

Jessica Sanchez, of WKMG in Orlando, is our new local news hero. While doing a stand-up in the French Quarter on New Orleans's preparations for the Super Bowl, Sanchez had an uninvited guest crash the party. Since the woman wanted to talk on camera so badly, Sanchez improvised the perfect line of questioning. » 1/30/13 7:00pm 1/30/13 7:00pm

New Orleans Welcomes The Super Bowl With A "Roger Goodell Being Eaten…

The Krewe du Vieux is one of the first parades on the Carnival calendar, and surely the most explicit. The Times-Picayune says it "aims for eyebrow-raising, low-brow amusement and often hits the mark with its rude designs and naughty details." But topicality is important, and with Roger Goodell coming to town for the… » 1/21/13 5:40pm 1/21/13 5:40pm

Drew Brees Is Now Being Used To Sell Bath Salts (The Kind You Smoke)

This should be obvious, but if you want to sell narcotic bath salts masquerading as aromatherapy powder, there's no better packaging than Drew Brees, photoshopped to make it look like he's wearing Heath Ledger's Joker makeup (we think). It's basic marketing. Unfortunately, Blue Brees, the hot new drug on the street,… » 12/29/12 12:20pm 12/29/12 12:20pm

The Pro Bowl May Survive For Another Year Of Uselessness By Moving To…

Just when it looked like the NFL was ready to do right by the Pro Bowl by putting it down, at least for next year, the league has decided to reconsider its attachment to pointless all-star football. » 5/22/12 3:15pm 5/22/12 3:15pm

Alleged Alabama Teabagger Arraigned, Pleads Not Guilty

Brian Downing pled not guilty to charges he committed a sex crime in the hours after the Crimson Tide's BCS Championship win over LSU in New Orleans when he allegedly teabagged a Tigers fan at the Bourbon Street Krystal restaurant. » 5/22/12 1:00pm 5/22/12 1:00pm

An Inside Look At How Jeremy Shockey Will Beat This "Snitching" Rap

Self-proclaimed life coach Jeremy Shockey was fingered today by NFL Network's Warren Sapp as the "snitch" who helped expose the New Orleans Saints' bounty program that led to coach Sean Payton's subsequent one-year suspension. Now, in keeping with the NFL's arcane sense of antiquated machismo, that's a bad thing. You… » 3/21/12 8:15pm 3/21/12 8:15pm

New Orleans Police Are Officially Looking For The Teabagger

New Orleans cops now believe an act of sexual battery has occurred in the Krystal teabagging incident, and are seeking the public's help in finding a "person of interest." WWL has the full wanted poster, while the Times-Picayune reports police won't say if the victim is cooperating. WVUE in New Orleans spoke with Baton… » 1/18/12 6:20pm 1/18/12 6:20pm

The Crying Alabama Fan Gets The Last Laugh

You do remember the crying Bama fan, don't you? Dressed like Bear Bryant, a blonde sorority girl on his arm, moved to tears by an overtime loss in the Game of the Century. He headed down to New Orleans this weekend, where he was recognized by an LSU fan who just happened to have a blown up photo of him as a poster. » 1/10/12 10:45am 1/10/12 10:45am