<![CDATA[Deadspin: new york knicks]]> http://tags.deadspin.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/deadspin.com.png <![CDATA[Deadspin: new york knicks]]> http://deadspin.com/tag/newyorkknicks http://deadspin.com/tag/newyorkknicks <![CDATA[Nets Set The Tone For A Day Of Celebrating The Smallest Victories]]> Just in time for a tilt with their sorta-not-as-hapless cross-river rivals, the New Jersey Nets snapped their season-opening 18-game losing streak with a 97-91 victory over the Charlotte Bobcats. The expectations for a 64-18 record just went through the roof!



Brook Lopez had 31 points; Courtney Lee had 27. Newark Star-Ledger columnist Dave D'Allesandro called the Nets' triumph the end of "our national nightmare," which one hopes isn't some sneaky sign that the Garden State is about to start a sports-related secession movement. Anyway. The people manning Deadspin's reins on this fine Saturday, which has been dubbed No Tiger Saturday by forces beyond our control, are the people behind hieroglyphic-inspired Young Manhattanite. We will attempt to deliver you timely but most likely outdated sports content in the fashion of Larry King's USA Today column. We'll skip the credentials, you won't care anyway, but do know we are not New York-centric assholes. Hailing from the proud lands of Maryland, New Jersey, the State of Long Island, Ohio and Las Vegas, you'll see we're Real America Assholes. One of us is paying off a four-year-old debt to Deadspin editor AJ Daulerio and that's why we're here. We won't convince you otherwise.


Please send all tips to the tip tagline. And in order to provide at least a little continuity, here's another video from Faith No More. It's thematically appropriate and everything!




Faith No More - A Small Victory [Dailymotion]
[Photo: AP]

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<![CDATA[Last Night's Winner: Mike D'Antoni]]> In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Mike D'Antoni, whose Rich Little version of the Suns ran the real thing out of Madison Square Garden last night.

The Knicks (who probably shouldn't be this bad) got a 27-10 out of Danilo Gallinari and dropped 126 points in all on the Suns (who probably shouldn't be this good). New York is still a mess. Donnie Walsh looks at Brandon Jennings and sighs, and D'Antoni turns his every press conference into an extended comic monologue on the wretchedness of his own team. But last night, at least, the Knicks finally did a serviceable impression of the Suns and in the process earned a standing ovation from a crowd that generally only rouses itself when a Yankee appears on the Jumbotron.

Honorable mentions: Boxing, which, as Barry noted earlier, might be getting that coveted title bout between Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather after all. And Big Ten basketball, which is no longer playing slow and dull and which finds itself tied 3-3 in the ACC-Big Ten Challenge with a passable chance of actually winning one of these things.

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<![CDATA[Ex-Knick Finds Out That Crack Can Kill]]> Dean Meminger is in critical condition after a fire that investigators say was caused by a crack pipe. Several recently-used crack pipes were found in Meminger's apartment. Ruh-roh.

Dean the Dream was referred to as a "star" in the local tabloids today, but he's remembered insomuch as he backed up Frazier and Monroe on the Knicks' last title team. He's talked about his long battle with substance abuse, but I can't imagine a better wake-up call than the four-alarm fire that consumed a row of homes in the Bronx Sunday night.

Meminger, whose son is a reporter for New York 1, was recovering in the burn unit at Jacobi Medical Center yesterday after suffering significant smoke inhalation in Sunday night's four-alarm fire.

The beloved member of the Knicks' 1973 world championship team was living in an SRO on Findlay Ave. in Claremont and was found unconscious near his bed after the fire ignited at 9:40 p.m., officials said.

Several crack pipes that appear to have been recently used were found inside Meminger's room and in the hallway of the small dilapidated building, according to FDNY sources.

Would it be too negative to assume that James Dolan is somehow responsible for the deteriorating physical and mental health of a player who retired 30 years ago?

Dozens Left Homeless By Concourse Village Fire [NY1]

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<![CDATA[Nate Robinson, Getting His Terrible Teams Mixed Up]]> As if the 85-point lead the YES Network spotted them wasn't enough, the Nets also received help from an unlikely source: Nate Robinson shooting at the wrong basket. (I only say "unlikely" because the shot actually went in.)

As time expired in the first quarter, the Knicks inbounded the ball with half a second left. Nate Robinson, rather than quietly hand the ball to an official, or even chuck a desperation heave 80 feet down the court, decided to show what a good three-point shot he's got when no one is guarding him, and there's nothing at stake. Let's watch.

Though the clock had barely expired, Mike D'Antoni was furious. As you'd expect from a coach whose grease board in the locker room reads "Be terrible, just don't be stupid." No, actually, what the board reads after back-to-back victories over Indy and New Jersey, is "Winning Streak." Seriously.

While D'Antoni said after the game he and Nate were cool, it must be noted that Robinson only got three more minutes of game time after this ill-advised shot.

And, on a brighter note, the Knicks finally have more wins in November, three, than the Yankees. And they're three wins ahead of the Giants and Jets.

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<![CDATA[Yeah, I'm Sure It Probably Feels Like This For Knicks Fans]]> If it's not bad enough just to be a Knicks fan, the graphics department at YES Network are taking potshots at them. Seeing this probably caused Stephon Marbury to snap out of his delusional state. Just for a second, though.

Alright, kids: another Saturday is in the books. Have a great night. Barry Petchesky will be your guide tomorrow. Treat him well.

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin.

Because that November is a time which I must put out of my mind...


Oh my God. That video is awkward. I have just realized that Morrissey is much better when he is simply heard, not seen. But who isn't, right? Other than Bobcat Goldthwait, although he's not that pleasant to look at either. Just forget it.

Good night.

(thanks to James for the pic)

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<![CDATA[Stephon Marbury Continues To Turn Craziness Into An Art Form]]> I'm no genius, but it seems to me that Marbury isn't a huge fan of Knicks coach Mike D'Antoni. In a tweet one would suspect were the rantings of a clinically insane individual, Marbury calls the coach "DPHONY." Nice. [SimonOnSports]

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<![CDATA[Starbury And The Knicks, Together In Fail For Eternity]]> Stephon, true to his word, bought a ticket and sat in the front row at the Knicks game last night. But he was asked to leave, because the ticket he bought wasn't for the front row. Nothing ever changes.

The once and future Knicks albatross showed up for New York's home opener followed through on a promise made on his bizarre Ustream. He plopped down in a courtside seat, whipped out his camera and started filming the game. That's when the person who actually bought that seat showed up.

Security told Marbury to move to his real seat, but rather then act like a normal human being and move, he up and left the arena.

I paid a lot of money for this seat, I don't want to leave," Marbury told one Garden security official during the confrontation. "But it's OK. I'll go."

So while he missed everything after the first quarter, it would have been familiar to Marbury: a furious Knicks rally brought them close, but they shit the bed when it counted.

Bizarre-Bury: Stephon Marbury Bolts Madison Square Garden In Seat Tiff
[NY Daily News]

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<![CDATA[Knicks Settle For Jordan Hill, Knicks Fans Boo]]> 8. New York Knicks: Jordan Hill, Arizona But hey, screw Knicks fans, right? Hill has the potential to develop into a stud, and with David Lee's future with the team in question this fills one of their needs.

Hill is still raw offensively, relying on his athleticism and offensive rebounding to account for much of his scoring output. It works for Dwight Howard, but he's kind of a freak. Regardless, Hill should prove to be a capable rebounder and post defender with a pretty high ceiling.

Dick joke.

Getty Image via Yahoo!

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<![CDATA[Knicks Won't Be Happy Until They Lose Every Game Themselves]]> For the second time in six weeks, Al Harrington nearly won a game against the Clippers, then immediately gave it back with an overeager celebration. See, this is why the Knicks can't have nice things.

Harrington dunked home what could have been the decisive points last night with 27.9 seconds left, but then got called for a technical foul for hanging on the rim. Down by three, the Clippers were able to use the extra free throw to tie the game and force it into overtime, where they won 140-135. It was a nearly identical repeat of the game on February 11 (also against the Clippers) when Harrington dunked to put the team up by three, slapped the backboard on the way down, got called for a technical, the Clips tied the game and won in overtime.

On the other hand, former Knick Zach Randolph also scored two points for the wrong team during the first half so I guess the incompetence works both ways.

The New York Daily News called last night's debacle "by far the Knicks' worst loss of the season," but that doesn't really seem fair. Surely some of the other 43 losses were pathetic enough to compete for that title. Don't sell these guys short!

Al Harrington's technical foul sinks Knicks in overtime loss to Clippers [NYDN]
Clippers/Knicks Highlights [NBA.com]

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<![CDATA[Boston Is Now Officially Marbury Country]]> "The Celtics became intrigued with Marbury in the preseason when he averaged 8.5 points and 3.1 assists and went to the free throw line regularly in seven games." [Boston Globe]

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<![CDATA[Spike Lee Will Help Out On Double-Teams Whenever He Can]]> Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap.

Apparently the Knicks allow famous fans to lean in during regulation play and help obscure opponents' passing lanes. Look, after what happened the other night with Will Ferrell, why not just drop the pretense and allow celebrities to roam freely on the court? "The Celtics inbound with 12 seconds remaining ... and Woody Allen steals the ball!"

Spike Lee Plays D [Fack Youk]

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<![CDATA[Knicks Finally Part Ways With Marbury]]> New York finally ended their feud with Stephon Marbury and sent him off into the night. Now that our long national nightmare is over, the question becomes—what are the Celtics getting themselves into?

After working out some sort of buyout agreement yesterday, the Knicks quickly waived Marbury and all signs point to him being scooped up by the Boston Celtics once he clears; just in time to sneak him on the playoff roster. They hope to add a backup point guard who will play 15-20 minutes a night and I suppose you could do worse.

The Celtics don't need help to grab a high playoff seed, but they probably need something extra to push them past the Cavaliers or Lakers in the playoffs. But Marbury doesn't really strike anyone as a team-first kinda guy. Will he really accept a "role player" position so gladly? Even for the chance at a title? Or would winning a ring in this way forever erase that disgruntled "Starbury" reputation?

It's also been a long time since Marbury played like an All-Star caliber point guard—although being a Knick would sap anyone's will to try—and it's been pretty much never since he played for a contender, so there really is no way of knowing how he will respond once he puts on a Celtics uniform. (And yes, he "reunites" with that tall guy he played two seasons with ten years ago, as if they were holding their breath all this time.) It really is a true gamble, and if it fails (whether it's his fault or not), well ... the I-told-you-sos will be quite delicious for Boston haters.

Then there are Knicks fans—who remain in a perpetual, doctor proscribed haze. A few are predictably taking the
"don't let the door hit" you stance, but most probably can't be bothered to take a break from crafting their anti-Isiah poetry to give a damn. If you know such a person, try to break it to them gently.

Celtics expected to land Marbury after Knicks buy him out [Boston Globe]
Marbury's depature a victory for Knicks fans [Newsday]
ONE LAST CHANCE TO BE STEPH OF LEGENDS [NY Post]
Unlike on court, Stephon Marbury departs with assist [NY Daily News]
Freedom brings responsibility for Marbury [Yahoo]
But What Will Stephon Wear? [Simon On Sports]

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<![CDATA[Remember, It's An Exhibition, Not A Slam Dunk Competition; Please, No Wagering]]> One of the many perks of winning the NBA Slam Dunk Competition: You get to appear on The Late Show with David Letterman and attempt a dunk over Biff Henderson.

One of the drawbacks: You have to look at Dave's tie.

Here's 5-foot-9 Nate Robinson (5-8 1/2 in bed without shoes) of the Knicks last night attempting the dunk over the Late Show stage manager, which I hope will become part of the official NBA competition next year. Video of the entire segment is below, including Letterman's revelation that he played pro basketball in the Mexican League with the Guadalajara Flying Serpent Lizards.

(Warning: Clip includes the phrase "We'll be right back after the break with David Spade.").

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<![CDATA[The New York Knicks Are Just Happy To Be Alive]]> Some teams might suffer a three-game losing streak at home and get fired up. Not the New York Knicks. No, they spent the week getting beat by the NBA's best and couldn't be happier.

While hosting the Lakers, Cavaliers, and Celtics back-to-back-to-back is a tall order for any team, let alone the mediocre-at-best Knicks, one might expect a different response than the one put forth by the Knicks' Al Harrington.

"You've seen us play these guys before and see how we struggled," said Al Harrington, "and if we went down, we put our heads down and go the other way. But we just kept fighting all the way to the end."

So it's an accomplishment that the Knicks are trying now, I suppose. At the end of the season they can all gather at Shoney's and receive their team participation awards. Well, at least they weren't starstruck by their better, more famous opponents, right?

The more tangible consolation prize lay in Harrington's locker: a pair of green, black and white Nikes with Pierce's No. 34 on the heels and his signature across the toes.

Ten bucks says those shoes show up on eBay.

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<![CDATA[Girls Behaving Badly: Our Ladies Take On The M.O.B.]]> It's Waxing Off, the feature that restored your faith in mankind by helping you to find the true meaning of Christmas. This week, rowdy female Knicks fans and the men who love them.

Elway's Bitch:

I know exactly how these two entitled bitches in the photo met their destiny at the Garden on Monday night. The head bitch, Leah, was raised next to a strip mall on Long Island. She flew the coop at the age of 17 to acquire her associate's degree in blow jobs. She discovered her talent in high school. Amy Fisher was her imaginary friend, and she ran all decisions by Amy when she was growing up ... She has seen all three Long Island Lolita miniseries and prefers the Drew Barrymore vehicle to the other three productions. Her "friend" in the picture (who secretly hates Leah more than herself) visualizes herself a makeup artist after an ecstasy-fueled stint at cosmetology school in the Bronx. Her friends lie and tell her the eye shadow looks "so fucking hot" (I can just hear it!) so there will be one less competitor on the whore playing field.

Due to the extraordinary amount of head bobbing in their past, these bottom-feeders were bestowed tickets to a Monday night game at the Garden. And it's so easy to look at that picture and hear the total ignorance in their voices. And the whiny, irritating tones. And the number of "F" bombs dropped because that's what's funny to them. They were most likely the least funny people in the entire Garden. They are most likely the least funny people who have EVER been in the Garden.

Their sense of humor really peaks when they start throwing around the term "homo." Because that is SO funny. Because one dude is wearing a scarf. Because these bitches KNOW style. Because they have a clothing line! Jessica Simpson has a clothing line. And once again, there is that small style point in which a member of their own entourage is wearing more eye shadow than Twisted Sister. That's so ill.

And, yeah, the whole incident occurred because of the protective instincts of a mother bear. That's absolutely what that was. If by "protective," she meant dramatic. And by bear she meant fucker.

We all know these women. They're so clichéd, it's clichéd. We all know they will be using their acrylic nails on those same mocked blackberries the following morning, texting "OMG" and "LOL." They will laugh at their antics. They will assure each other that they were indeed groped, because they are all so "fucking hot." They will revel in the adoring looks received from Section 87 as they were dragged to their own personal glory. They don't get it. They won't get it. They never will. They never could. And they will never be on Page Six. Which is what they secretly hope for more than anything else in the world. Unless Leah goes Amy Fisher on somebody. Just wait for it.

—-—-—-

Trouble:

As with so many fun activities, sports guys are often appalled and offended by actions taken by females that they would find hilarious and charming in their guy friends. If it were three guys acting like bigmouth tools at the Knicks game, this story wouldn't be one.

The reaction to the M.O.B girls is amusing, given that we're talking about New Yorkers at an important New York Knicks game. It is a public sporting event fellas, not the opera. People get faced and yell stupid things at minor league baseball games in Omaha, what do you reasonably expect from rowdy, half-wit Long Island chicks at the Garden?

Ok, so I'm a Philly girl and a sports fan, so I tend to give other obnoxious fans a pass most of the time in the name of Good, Clean Fun. I've also toiled as a bartender in a popular sports bar and seen my share of ridiculous, shameful behavior on the part of men and women under the guise of rooting on the home team. Drunkenly enthusiastic sex seems to be most popular idea of fun in a crowded bar during, say, the Stanley Cup Finals, followed closely by rival team fan brawls and women flashing their boobs. Big friggin' deal. If you don't like the way other people act at sporting events, watch the game at your quiet, tidy home, pussy.

— Like so many other people in their twenties Trouble had yet to learn restraint when it came to drinking, sports, and public places. After being 86'd from bars and forced to surrender her share of season tickets due to run-ins with security and such — thanks to her propensity for picking fights — these days she prefers to watch the game at home where she is free to scream obscenities, hurl the remote at the TV and flash her boobs with abandon, free from whiny-baby jerkoffs.

—-—-—-

Sam:

Ok so I've spent the last week sitting on a jury in Boston Superior Court. This means I am trained in delivering the cold hand of justice. Or as the judge has said everyday since the trial began, I am an "impartial trier of the facts." Whatever. It means I'm a professional. So let me take you bitches to school for a second.

Who's at fault here? Clearly society. This is a case of innocent women being misunderstood and mistreated by the misogynistic men who overpowe..... I'm sorry I just threw up in my mouth a little.

No really who's at fault? I'm gonna go ahead and blame... 1. Eminem for being a pioneer for white people in hip hop and letting them go ahead and ruin it. We did that shit to jazz too. 2. Their mothers for not telling them to shut both their mouths and knees. 3. Their fathers for contributing to whatever daddy issues are clearly at play. 4. Staten Island public schools.

They're not hood, they're not cool, and they're certainly not married to the mob. And if a white girl who's afraid to try on Applebottom jeans tells you that, it's pretty damn obvious. (I suspect that they'd be the best fitting jeans I've ever had, but I don't even know where they sell them. Baby Phat?)

So in conclusion. These people are guilty of unabashed stupidity and are sentenced to turning in their vaginas. They are giving it a bad reputation (as if the movie "Teeth" hasn't done that already.)

Oh and Go Celtics.

Sam is a journalism student in Boston who was drunk when she emailed this. That's talent. She also enjoys Northeastern University hockey, even though she's the only one.

—-—-—-

Cameron:

I use to think the phase, 'Women should be seen and not heard', was awful and ignorant. But then I was introduced to the wannabe hot heads of MOB and I'm starting to think whoever said knew what they were talking about. Now, I could make fun of the MOB ringleader's bad prison tattoos - which she probably got after being picked up for shoplifting Razzles and Dental Dams from Duane Reade(I'm sure Anna Wintour has a Channel logo tattooed on her frail form) or her consigliere's inability to apply make-up. But, I'm not. I'm just going to mock for them for being complete asshats.

If you want to mock the opposing team, that's fine - I do it, but I'm not going to call Joba Chamberlain a 'bloated head hunting cock sucker' while I'm at the game. You save that for when you're home on your couch. It's all about being subtle. If you want to burn Kobe, wear a t-shirt from a certain hotel in Colorado he'd like to forget. I'm sure that would affect him more than dropping a bunch of f bombs because he hit a couple 3 pointers.

I know I'm the last one to talk about what is and isn't appropriate, but you can't pull that shit and think it's OK. We're always being tested in life and the little girls of MOB would be epic failures if we still got graded for conduct when mingling with the general public. Plus, if you were associated with legit organized crime - why would you want to advertise it? The last thing you'd want to do is bring attention to yourself - ever hear of a code of silence? Obviously they haven't, if they did we wouldn't be talking about them....

Cameron Frye has never been thrown out of anywhere, but was cut off at Tim Horton's once. Cameron can be seen and not heard on http://twitter.com/cameronfrye .

—-—-—-

Bay Area Claire:

Dear Attention-Seeking Females at Sporting Events,

It's called etiquette. Learn it. There are ways to cheer for your team without being an asshole. No, really.

Many of my days are spent in the confines of a sporting event-mainly baseball. Occasionally, accompanying the familiar aromas of the ballpark is the stench of your overwhelming perfume mixed with alcohol. Now, I share your love of makeup, but know when to say "when." There's a line between trashy and classy-find it.

I love an intelligent heckler, but screaming cliché phrases sprinkled with profanity does not impress anyone around you. No one thinks you're charming or knowledgeable, if anything the drunk dude a couple rows in front of you will attempt to get you to show him your tits. Not because you are appealing, but because you seem like you would do it.

Admittedly, I enjoy ridiculing the stupidity of the women who find this behavior acceptable. I will join in the coaxing of the breast-flashing, just to get a laugh out of it. Usually, it doesn't take much.

I must thank you, however. It is fun seeing you stumble in your heels, even once I was a witness to one of you falling down the steps of AT&T Park. She blamed the beer on the ground, blamed the stairs, and blamed her boyfriend-ignoring the hooker shoes on her feet.

Go ahead, "keep it real." If it was genuine, you wouldn't have to remind everyone. Keep it real, then follow it with tears defending your embarrassing behavior. Keeping it real? Sure.

Toodles,
Bay Area Claire

— Find Bay Area Claire keeping it real and staying fly at examiner.com and BleacherReport.com.

If you would like to become a member of the Waxing Off writing staff, give me a holler.

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<![CDATA[Would Anyone Else Like To Humiliate The Knicks This Week?]]> Kobe Bryant scored 61 on Monday. LeBron James put up 52 and a triple-double on Wednesday. What's next? Kevin Garnett scores 45 from inside a water torture cell?

The New York Knicks were pretty excited about this "Dream Week." Sitting just on the cusp of the eighth playoff spot and winning six of their last seven, they had three home games in five days against the three best teams in basketball—the Lakers, the Cavaliers, and the Celtics. So far they are oh-for-two with two ridiculous star performances too boot. And it's even worse because it happened at MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, which makes it more significant because there was a circus there once.

It's also another chapter in the current "can you top this?" battle between Kobe and LeBron. Knicks coach Mike D'Antoni even seemed to believe that LeBron went for it on purpose, because scoring 62 would have been too simple or something. (It was the first triple-double since 1975 to also include 50 points.) And the Knicks still could have won! But they didn't. Because they are terrible.

But at least Knicks fans cheered for the Knicks this time! Except for Spike Lee. He wouldn't do that to a friend.

King James wears different crown [NY Daily News]
D'ANTONI CREW CAN'T OVERCOME TRIPLE-DOUBLE [NY Post]

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<![CDATA[Combustible White Girls Get Tossed From Knicks Game For "Keeping It Real"]]> We've all been at sporting events where some nearby fans get a little out of control. And at last night's Knicks game, things went absurdly awry for one particular group of female attendees.

So let's begin with a little backstory. The light-haired woman pictured in the photo is a person named "Leah" who is founder and "HEAD BITCH" (according to her business card) of the Married To The Mob streetwear clothing line. She and three other "M.O.B" members went to MSG last night to cheer on their hometown Knicks and yell at Kobe Bryant. Things went a little haywire. M.O.B member Tabatha gives a complete rundown of how she, Leah, and two other ladies managed to get kicked out of last night's game and almost spend the night in jail. Enjoy. Oh, and [Sic'd].

"Yesterday the Garden got quite a taste of the M.O.B. Leah, Sarah, Melody, and myself had ill row g seats to last nights devastating Knicks vs. Kobe (eat shit) game. We were pretty pumped up, first ever game, probably one of the illest games of the season to have tix to. So in front of us are four pretentious little homos playing on their blackberries and covering their ears every time one of us yells 'defense' or 'fuck that, pass it to lee! fuck kobe!',"who like bitch, go to a library if you want quiet. At one point dude turns to me and shows me David Lee's contact on his phone. Cool dude, we can phone book battle anyday..."

Stop. Now, this is always a tough situation to be in. I appreciate people enthusiastically yelling at games. You're supposed to yell at games. That's what fans do. However, this is a nightmare scenario for most guys: having four noisy boozed-up chicks sitting behind you who take heckling to an extreme. This is a no-win situation. Especially with these ladies. Here's why:

"Anyway, eventually one of the guys who kept sucking his teeth and annoying my eyes with his little scarf (worn Kanye fashion week style of course) told Sarah to stop screaming in his ear. I guess she went la-la or something in his ear and he told her to shut the fuck up. Sarah is like my baby bear cub and I am the grizzly mother bear that instinctively must attack in her honor. So I got up and gave dude a nice love tap on the grill followed by cursing and one of their own going to get security. We were over it quick and got back to the score when all the sudden some huge security guard comes to our row and tells us to bounce. We angrily pick up our shit and I individually tell each guy they suck and finish the deal by pouring an overpriced shitty beverage on the guy who mouthed off to sarah's head."

What exactly constitutes a "nice love tap on the grill" is anyone's guess. But it's not like the Knicks were taking on a scrubby team from the East — this is Kobe and the Lakers on a night when he had, you know, a pretty good game. Homo-scarf probably wanted to enjoy it. But justice is swift at Madison Square Garden!

After that things got a little hot. For starters, two huge black dudes grabbed me by each arm and dragged me kicking and screaming up the stairs. Section 67-95 was not watching the game for shit. While I was being man-handled and kept trying to escape, Leah came to my rescue by jumping on one of the guards screaming at them to get the fuck off her girl. They grabbed her by her ankles/wrists and shoved the 4 of us in an elevator while telling us we were all getting pinched.

Now, I've been in situations before at games, at concerts (mostly at concerts) where security workers get a little overzealous. It's tough to restrain the natural human instinct to fight back when you're being pushed around for no reason. Except I think if I grill-tapped a fella and dumped a beer over his head, I'd expect some sort of security intervention. Not the M.O.B, though. No, they don't go out like that.

The dude holding me was squeezing me too hard so I bit him. I know, biting a security officer isn't that smart. But they were groping us! Long story short, Sarah is winning the Oscar for best actress this year with a performance I'd like to call "I dont know why they are treating us so mean, what did we do?!" through sobs. At one point I hugged her and said it'd be fine and through faux tears she muttered "I'm acting" - be my wife. And the fuckin' Knicks lost. Because I didn't bite hard enough through that crappy suit they couldn't prove I did it and ended up letting us go. Who could cuff a crying Sarah, really?

Fin.

So from what I hear, the M.O.B girls were at this game because the company who bankrolled their clothing line has season tickets. I imagine the company would hold off on giving up those seats to these feisty chicks during the rest of "Dream Week" at the Garden. Yeah, give them the seats when the Timberwolves come to town.

When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong [MOB Blog]

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<![CDATA[Kobe Scores Madison Square Garden-Record 61 Against, Um, Wait A Minute ...]]> Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com.

Maybe we should make that Kobe Bryant scores Madison Square Garden-record 61* points against the Knicks. Yes, the Boston Knicks, the storied franchise that gave us Larry Ewing, Walt McHale and Isiah Havlicek.

Bryant did score 61 last night against somebody. Trust us.

Bryant Lights Up MSG, Knicks With Record 61 Points [Associated Press]

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<![CDATA[Why Won't The Knicks Let Stephon Marbury Be A Champion?]]> Stephon Marbury says he has a "verbal agreement" with the Celtics, who promise to sign him if he ever gets out of his current contract. Too bad the Knicks will never let that happen.

Marbury is convinced that it's simply a personal vendetta by New York president Donnie Walsh that's keeping him the most well-paid bench warmer in the league, and that explanation makes as much sense as any. They Knicks have already paid him half of his $21 million salary for this year and keeping him around doesn't seem to help team morale. The only justification for not simply paying Marbury off and ridding themselves of the distraction is the highly theoretical possibility that the Knicks might run into Marbury while he's playing for another team, perhaps in the playoffs. Of course, a good trade could actually help them make the playoffs, but the Knicks aren't interested in that.

Marbury says it's "kids games" and he's started quoting Barack Obama saying, "let's put away those childish acts." When you've got Stephon Marbury looking like a civil rights activist, you know you've probably screwed up somewhere along the line.

But the question that seems most in need of asking is the one most people are ignoring. That is—what could the Boston Celtics possibly have to gain by signing him? Does anyone honestly believe makes the Celtics a better team? Or that Starbury willl willingly play the humble and heroic sixth man role? Am I missing something here? (I probably am, but it would help to know what that is.)

MARBURY CONFIRMS OFFER FROM CELTS, BLASTS KNICKS 'KIDS GAMES' [NY Post]
Related: Pursuing N.B.A., Marbury’s Brother Takes Long Detour [NY Times]

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<![CDATA[Not A Racist, A Genuinely Nice Human Being, And, Uh, That's It, I Guess]]> At first, Eddy Curry, the hobbled Knicks' center, wouldn't comment on the ridiculous sexual harassment lawsuit brought upon him by his ex-chauffeur, but now he can't stop talking about it.

One thing that's been a constant throughout this whole messy affair has been the unwavering support both from reporters and teammates about this incident. The New York Times gave a glowing assessment of his character today, suggesting that it's Curry's over-friendliness that's gotten him into this mess. It's his gentle giant attitude that's also prevented him from being a productive big man in the NBA — included is a quote from former coach Isiah Thomas about Curry the player: "He's a nice man."

Curry's adamantly denied the allegations. He's given plenty of interviews to the Chicago and New York press, and the AP contesting the racism charges — and the gun situation — including this exclusive interview he gave to the Chicago Tribune in which he really, really tries to prove he's not a racist or an Anti-Semite:

"He calls me racist and my best friend on the planet is white. He calls me an anti-Semite and my agent is Jewish. I really don't understand how anybody could look at this and think it's remotely true," he said.

See? Not racist. This is the second time I've heard this I'll-show-you-I'm-not defense was used in the last couple days, the first being when the dimwitted chunky contestant on "Rock of Love Bus" tried to defend her racially insensitive comments by proclaiming, "How can I be racist? I have a black grandfather!" Regardless, I'm sure Curry's not a racist. He's said that multiple times.

One thing he hasn't directly addressed up to this point is the whole homosexual come-on part of the harassment suit. Sure, you could surmise that his "it's not true" defense encompasses all of the allegations but, given the circumstances, that seems like something he'd want to clarify as well, yet he's been dodgy. But do the Chicago writers know a secret the rest of the NBA world does not? The timing of this column by Sun-Times columnist Neil Hayes would suggest there are some "larger issues" to be looked at here.

Curry is married, a father of three, and has had basketball career littered with both professional and off-court problems, including an awful at-home robbery and heart problems. And it seems everyone in the media is thoroughly convinced that the lawsuit is utterly preposterous based solely on the fact that Curry's too nice a guy to play with guns or hurl such hurtful insults at an employee. But, well, they don't seem thoroughly convinced that he's not a man dealing with some sexual identity issues. Remember — David Kuchinsky was a man whom Curry befriended in spite of his prison record. That's the type of guy Eddy Curry is. Remember, the big man is hurt by these allegations "...because this is a guy who I really thought he was my friend.”

I'm curious to see how this plays out.

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