Oh, I thought we were wildly speculating here. Everybody else is doing it these days after James was at a USA Basketball, um, thing and said New York was his favoritest city ever, followed by Washington, Dallas, LA, and his hometown of Akron. No Cleveland in there whatsoever.

So certainly this means that once the Cavaliers muddle through a couple more early playoff exits, their superstar will take an aerial view of Cleveland, furrow his brow, and say "I've been playing here? Danny Ferry told me this was Brooklyn!"

But hold on, says the Plain Dealer's Terry Pluto. Nobody can possibly figure out what will happen two completed seasons from now. There's a hint of controlled reason in his words, but ... look at the Photoshop! It shows he's clearly playing for the New York Pants. Argue that, Mr. Newspaper Man.

Losing LeBron [Yahoo! Sports]
LeBron James' departure in 2010 nothing but speculation [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

Danilo Gallinari is a 6-foot-9 "point forward" who Ford says, "knows how to think the game." Though we enjoy NBADraft.net's description the best.

For Europe, he is a match up nightmare reminiscent of a young Bodiroga or a Papaloukas. By NBA standards his athleticism is a liability, especially on the defensive end. He has made strides in improving his footspeed but he still relies too much on his hands to defend players.

"Reminiscent of a young Bodiroga or a Papaloukas?" Well, shoot, that's gonna fire up the Garden faithful. We can already imagine the backflips Spike Lee will do.

"With the sixth pick in the NBA Draft, the New York Knicks take 19-year-old Danilo Gallinari." Welcome back, Knicks!

Chad Ford Mock Draft [ESPN]
2008 Euro League Juniors Preview [NBADraft.net]
Like Mike [New York Magazine]

The New York Daily News reports this morning that Isiah will specifically not be allowed to talk to any players. Nice gig, if you can get it.

According to a team source, Thomas has been barred from having any contact with the team as part of his reassignment agreement with Knicks president Donnie Walsh. Such an agreement is critical for a new coach as he tries to reestablish a winning culture at Madison Square Garden and distance himself from the Thomas regime.

Thomas is responsible for acquiring every player on the current roster and the fear is that if he were allowed to have any contact, including telephone calls, he could either willingly or unwillingly undermine the incoming coach.

As The Legend Of Cecilio Guante points out, that makes Isiah a tremendously well-paid secretary (and coffee boy for Jim Dolan). Isiah is making $18 million to stay away from his employers. The man was a genius all along!

Isiah To Be Paid $18 Million To Fetch Coffee [The Legend Of Cecilio Guante]

We saw the complete decimation of one of sports' most proud institutions under Thomas, and it's going to take years for the Knicks to dig themselves out. (And by years, we mean "probably at least five.") What made Thomas unique, though, was his dogged insistence that matters were always looking up, that he was just about to turn a corner. He is like our President in that way, except he looks better in a suit (and, uh, seems to know less about, you know, sports). It was a special thing for us all to witness; it's difficult to imagine anyone have such a limitless opportunity to wreak havoc on such an epic scale in the future. In this way, Isiah was unique, special.

So, until Isiah is officially let go today, let's all enjoy, as we once put it, "Isiah Thomas' Knicks Legacy, Summed Up In One Possession."

We enjoyed this eulogy by Frank Isola of the New York Daily News, on the unfortunately named "Knicks Knation" blog. A highlight, discussing Isiah's claim that he rides the subway to work and is accosted by Knicks fans:

But let's say that back in 2004 Isiah is on the subway and is spotted by someone, preferably a Knick fan. Would that Knick fan a) Avoid speaking to Thomas, b) Say hello to him, c) Ask him for his autograph or d) Challenge him to a fight because he traded Charlie Ward and Howard Eisley to Phoenix for Stephon Marbury?

Really now?

But that's Isiah, he just talks and talks as a way of distracting people - especially Dolan - from judging him on his record. The only time Isiah talks about his record is when he is referring to his playing days. And make no mistake about it, he was a brilliant point guard. We all know that. But as a coach and a president, he is an abject failure. He could never accomplish what Pat Riley, Jeff Van Gundy, Dave Checketts and Ernie Grunfeld achieved here. They got New York. Isiah Thomas is just a clueless tourist whose trip is about to end.

As a clueless tourist ourselves, with no loyalties to the Knicks ... we beg James Dolan and Donnie Walsh: Please reconsider and keep Isiah around. We miss him already, and he's not even gone yet.

Sorry Isiah, New Yorkers Not As Dim As Dolan [New York Daily news]

Thomas' poor trades and personnel moves alone have caused the Knicks to get hit with $137 million in luxury taxes during the last four years (the N.B.A. calculates the threshold for the tax every season based on a complicated formula). In 2007, the team paid $45 million in luxury taxes; to put that in perspective, only four other teams incurred the luxury tax at all last season, for a total of $10.3 million, meaning that the Knicks paid four-and-a-half times more than every other team combined.

Thomas has expressed his desire to "still be a part of the organization" in some capacity after this season, but that decision is entirely up to Walsh. Even an unpaid internship seems like a reach at this point. (Ed. Note: Yeah, because then he'd have to sleep with Stephon.)

The Isiah Thomas Tax [Portfolio]

The New York Daily News, citing an unnamed source, reported Thursday that owner James Dolan prefers to keep Thomas on the sideline, though he won't stop his next executive from making a change. "There isn't a basketball executive alive who would keep Isiah as head coach, but Jim is telling whoever he interviews, 'I would prefer to keep Isiah but you do what you have to do,'" the source close to Dolan told the Daily News. "If Isiah isn't the coach, Jim still wants him to stay in the organization in some capacity."

I can't imagine anyone taking that job and agreeing to Isiah weighing him down for his first season. So if Isiah is out, then what? Would he even want to hang around the organization? Well, Bob Knight is probably tired of his rather lifeless ESPN gig by now, so Isiah could step in at the WWL next year, stop ruining the Knicks, and still be ours to enjoy. Everyone wins!

Report: Knicks Owner Wants To Stick With Isiah [MSNBC]
Could This Be The End Of Our Isiah Hero? [Deadspin]

That is to say ... jeez, look at this Heat lineup (in his words):

Ricky Davis (okay, sure)
Mark Blount (sucks, but still an NBA player)
Daequan Cook (third best player out there...was also the third best player on his college team)
Chris Quinn (vaguely recall knowing who this guy is)
"Earl Barron" (what?)
"Blake Ahearn" (no way)
"Stephane Lasme" (what the fuck)
"Kasib Powell" (you have got to be kidding me, who are these people???)

Horford and Noah are legitimate NBA starter-caliber players, maybe even stars. Both of them are better than Blount. Corey Brewer was actually the direct analogue to Daequan Cook on the team that smoked Daequan Cook's team to win the title. Taurean Green is an active NBA player. Lee Humphrey IS Chris Quinn with a different haircut. If that starting five played the Heat today (with the experience they've gained in the last year), I can't see them not being favored. CONSIDERABLY favored. So you have to think that if they were time-machined from the moment they won the 2007 NCAAs they would have an even chance.

The best part of this is ... the Heat almost won!

Knicks 103, Heat 99 [Newsday]

Now that former Indiana CEO Donnie Walsh seems set to head to the Knicks, the clock is now officially ticking on the end of Thomas' tenure at MSG. Right? RIGHT?

If Walsh is being hired to replace Thomas as the Knicks' president and brings in a new GM - former 76ers GM Billy King or the Nuggets' Mark Warkentien, for example - logic dictates that Walsh also would want to hire a new coach.

But Dolan has not always used logic when making major decisions, as evidenced by the fact Thomas is still working at the Garden. Also, Walsh has a good working relationship with Thomas, having given him his first head coaching job, with the Pacers. Yet a person who spoke to Walsh yesterday doubted that Walsh would keep Thomas as his head coach.

Come on, Donnie ... think this over now ... you realize how historic Isiah Thomas' stint has been, don't you? You get it, yes? How can you end this? How can you take this away from us?

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

Source: Donnie Walsh Strikes Deal With Knicks [New York Daily News]

What Would Oakley Do? has a grand roundup of what has gone wrong since that day, but allow us to step in the Deadspin Wayback Machine to do our own recap. Remember: Anucha Browne Sanders had already filed her lawsuit, one year ago. Dolan should have known. But if he had known, jeez, we would have missed out on so much fun.

• April 18: The Knicks finish the season 33-49, losing 15 of their last 19, and miss the playoffs.

• September 10: The Isiah-Sanders trial kicks off.

• September 11: Sanders testifies that Isiah, when discussing corporate sponsors, said, "Bitch, I don't give a shit about these white people!"

• September 12: Stephon Marbury admits to having sex with a Knicks intern in his truck. The intern was rewarded with a promotion.

• October 2: A jury rules against Isiah and the Knicks.

• October 19: Isiah forgets he traded away Dan Dickau.

• November 13: After a fight with Isiah over playing time, Marbury bolts on the team during a road trip.

• November 14: Marbury implies he has dirt on Isiah that he will use if he's not let back on the team. He is let back on the team.

• November 28: Reporters covering the team call the assignment "hell."

• November 29: The Celtics beat the Knicks 104-59.

• December 11: Isiah blames the fans for his team's struggles.

• December 19: Madison Square Garden ejects a fan for holding up a "Fire Isiah" sign.

• February 21: The chant "Fire Isiah" breaks out in Philadelphia.

There's much more of course ... but we only have so much bandwidth. Happy anniversary, everybody!

Mission Accomplished Redux [What Would Oakley Do?]

While Isiah was busy trying to escape from Hell, Chris Paul was busy creating new and better realities by scoring 27 points, dishing out 8 assists, and leading to three clutch scores - two shots and an alley-oop pass to Tyson Chandler - in the Hornets' 100-88 win over the Knicks. Chandler got into the act with 15 points and 18 rebounds. Jamal Crawford led the Knicks with 20 points on 20 shots, and Eddy Curry made the most of Zach Randolph's absence by scoring 19 points on 8-for-11 shooting. Fun fact: Randolph had a magnetic resonance imaging test on his right foot Monday afternoon to confirm a bruise. This of course differs from the standard method of bruise confirmation, which typically consists of looking at it.

• Beware the rage of Dirk Nowitzki. I guess that Sunday's four-point overtime loss to the Lakers upset him more than anybody knew, because Dirk pulled a Kevin McHale on Andre Kirilenko during the first quarter of the Mavericks' 116-110 loss to the Jazz. Seriously, this was a bad one. Bad enough that I very nearly couldn't laugh at the comical image of Kirilenko getting wheeled off the court in some kind of bizarre wheelchair thingie. Amazingly, in this age of Guys Can't Even Stand Up Off The Bench Without Getting Suspended For One Game, Herr Nowitzki was called for a flagrant foul but wasn't ejected from the game ... despite the fact that the Utah crowd nearly rose from their seats en masse to strangle him. The Mavs came back from a 21-point deficit to take a late-game lead before going into their trademark Fourth Quarter Collapse mode as the Jazz scored 16 straight points to clinch the victory. Deron Williams had 17 points and 20 dimes for Utah, Mehmet Okur added 20 points and 12 rebounds, and Carlos Boozer carried the scoring load with 28. Josh Howard led the Mavs with 25, Dirk added 23, and Jason Kidd contributed 19 points and 9 assists. Update: The Russian Rifle bruised his right hip and was taken to the hospital for X-rays, which showed no break.

• I know you don't care about this game...but you should. Really. The Philadelphia 76ers notched a 106-80 victory over the Clippers. It was the seventh win in the their last 10 games. They've now moved into the seventh playoff spot in the Eastern Conference. And Andre Miller is the reigning Eastern Conference Player of the Week. They're a legitimate playoff threat now. Seriously. Okay, you're not buying any of this, are you? Yeah, I didn't think so. Fine. I'll cut to the chase: Philly's decent, Clippers suck, Andre Iguodala led six Sixers in double-figures with 18, Al Thornton was manly with 20 points and butterfingery with 10 turnovers. Oh, and it was Maurice Cheeks' 100th win as the coach of the Sixers (versus 124 losses). Yeah, I think that about sums it up.

It's particularly amusing in the wake of the great Zach Randolph "possession." How young we were back in July 2007 ... how little we knew!

(Actually, we all knew. Except for Stephon. And Isiah. We're sure Zach knew, though.)

We've actually watched this a few times and find it mesmerizing. Knicks basketball: Destined to be like this for the next five years ... at least!

Never, ever fire Isiah. We beg of you.

Z-Bo Being Z-Bo [Posting And Toasting]

Scotland forced 32 turnovers in the game, scoring 34 points off them. The Cadets also harassed York into a dismal 8 percent shooting (2 of 24) night from the field. After Snell's basket, Scotland scored the next 30 points to swell its lead to 67-3. The Greyhounds' only other field goal was a layup by Joe Gross with 4:54 remaining in the game. YCD was held scoreless in the first and third quarters and did not attempt a free throw.

Quote of the game: "Our bench played very well," Scotland coach Randy Taylor said. The York Country Day individual totals:

Joe Gross 1-6 0-0 2, Levi Snell 1-7 0-0 3, Brad Schaffer 0-0 0-0 0, Yann Potier 0-6 0-0 0, Joe Slonaker 0-5 0-0 0, Hunter Moylan 0-0 0-0 0, Josh Klinedinst 0-0 0-0 0. Totals 2-24 0-0 5.

Luckily Levi Snell lit it up from beyond the arc, or it really could have been ugly.

Meanwhile, this kid had much better results.

'Fire Isiah!' 76ers Fans Chant In Rout Of Knicks [MSNBC]
Cadets Start Districts With 74-5 Tuneup Over York Country Day [Public Opinion]

We know the 76ers have been playing better, but the Knicks lost by 40 points. The 76ers fans were actually chanting "Fire Isiah" as a sort of healing chant; it's as if they actually felt bad for the Knicks.

Why did the Knicks play so bad? (They're 22 games under .500, the fourth-worst record in the NBA.) Because ... they're worried about being traded?

The "Fire Isiah! chants followed Isiah Thomas from New York. So did 48 minutes of wretched basketball. Even the excuses — this time Thomas blamed the looming trade deadline as a distraction — came with the Knicks' latest humiliation.

The Knicks had turnovers on almost every possession in some stretches, took bad shots and trailed by 46 points in the third quarter.

That's kind of brilliant: A last-place team distracted because they're so excited by the possibility of being traded from the last-place team that they can't help but play terrible. May the Isiah Thomas Era never, ever end.

'Fire Isiah!' Chants Follow Thomas To Philly [The 700 Level]

Somewhere Isiah Thomas is clinking champagne glasses with James Dolan.

Marbury done for season [Sports Network]

The Knicks lost their sixth in a row last night, by nine to the freaking Clippers. The whole world's coming to an end over there. Frankly, with all the other news going on in the world today, it would be the ideal time to fire Isiah; people might not even notice.

In case you needed a reminder of how bad it is over at MSG, here's a firsthand report of what it was like at the Garden last night. These are described as "the only times there were noise."

#9: A between quarters race where two munchkins had to put on a pair of shorts, jersey and t-shirt before hitting a layup.

#5: A slightly more emphatic round of boos following a third quarter where the Knicks were outscored 28-14.
#3: A fat guy carrying a sign with the numbers 18-1 written in black marker makes his way around the arena.

We can't pile on the Knicks anymore, other than to point out again that today's the ideal day to fire Isiah, so we will note what a Boston fan told us about the growing "18-1" chant: "It's the worst, because it's like the '1918' chant, but there's absolutely no way to make it stop." That's true. Ouch.

Welcome To The World's Most Silent Arena [The Legend Of Cecilio Guante]

Anyway, he's talking to Daulerio's gang over at Philadelphia Magazine about just how awful it all was.

Brown accused the Knicks of having "spies throughout the arena" during his one season with the team in a story in the February issue of "Philadelphia" magazine. Brown also complained about the way he was treated by the organization.

"Imagine when you get to work, they don't talk to you," he said. "They had security people standing close to me in press conferences, and spies throughout the arena."

It's worth noting that Brown was paid $18.5 million to leave the Knicks. But still: What's crazy about this story is not whether it's true; it's that, because it's the Knicks, it doesn't even seem the slightest bit shocking. Security people intimidating you? Spies? Why not? It's the Knicks!

Larry Brown Says Knicks Had Spies In The Arena [Associated Press]
Larry Brown In Winter [Philadelphia magazine]

Some New York Giants players were interviewed by media at halftime of the Knicks-Celtics game yesterday, but when reporters tried to talk to a fan who was being ejected — you'd be amazed how often this is happening at Knicks games right now — matters went dangerously awry.

I would estimate that a dozen ushers surrounded the three reporters, including myself, physically blocking our path and berating us for not listening to their orders, not "respecting" them and not letting them do their jobs. I explained that, in truth, it was the other way around. The security staff was keeping us from doing our jobs. One reporter was physically restrained and had his credential torn off his neck.

I've gotten to know a few ushers and security people at the Garden over the past couple of years, and like them. But I don't envy their jobs. I don't envy anyone who has to work in this place, under these conditions. It's sad, really, is the best way I can put it.

Honestly, this might be one of the most depressing sentences we've ever read in sports journalism: "I don't envy anyone who has to work in this place, under these conditions." Sigh. For months, we've encouraged the Knicks to hang onto 2007 SHOTY winner Isiah Thomas for raw entertainment value. But we dunno; he's turning that place into a toxic swamp. Maybe we should get him out of there before the Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers arrive.

Newspaper Reporters Vs. Garden Security [Newsday]

And now, kids, you have your chance. The Knicks are advertising for a "Public Relations Coordinator."

The ideal candidate will have a Bachelors degree with a minimum of one year public relations experience preferably within the sports industry. Strong knowledge of basketball and the NBA is required. Must have excellent communication, organizational and follow up skills. Candidate must possess strong writing skills with creative abilities. Familiarity with public relations teams is also required. Must have excellent presentation, interpersonal and multi-tasking skills. Proficiency on Microsoft Word and Excel required. Must be flexible to work games including evenings and weekends.

Does this sound like you? Oh, it also helps to have a nice ass and a willingness to sleep with the point guard. In his truck.

Public Relations Coordinator [NBA Jobs]

• How Bizarre. (Sorry, Drew.) Area 51, that ghost in Three Men and a Baby, the New York Knickerbockers ... you know, some things are better left unexplained. Zach Randolph had 25 points and eight rebounds as the Knicks cruised — cruised! — to an 89-65 victory over the weary Pistons, who barely avoided the worst offensive performance in franchise history. "I just got off the shower, washed it off," Chauncey Billups said. "I washed it right off on that shower. Got to forget about that one. That was bad." Question: How does one get "off" the shower? What type of shower heads does Madison Square Garden have? Did Steve Francis install them?

• Win, You Stupid Fucking Dinosaurs! Win! Was anyone else a little disappointed that Suss decided to live-blog the NFL playoffs instead of the Blazers-Raps game yesterday? Anybody? Anyone? Anybody? Guys? Anyone? Oh, me neither. Chris Bosh had 38 points and 14 rebounds as the Raptors beat the Blazers 116-109 in double overtime to hand Portland their second loss in 19 games. Brandon Roy had a career-high 33 points in defeat.

• This Is Why You Never Go For The Rebound, Kids. Andrew Bynum, a key cog in the Lakers' longest winning streak in nearly four years, sprained his left knee in LA's 100-99 victory over the Grizzlies. With just under nine minutes left in the third, Bynum went up for a rebound. As he came down, his left foot landed on top of teammate Lamar Odom's foot, causing his left knee and ankle to turn awkwardly. He'll undergo an MRI later today. (Free lollipops!)

• Hawk Off. The Armadillo Cowboy (Joe Johnson) lassoed in 37 points, including 25 in the first half, as the Hawks — KREE-EEE-AR! — beat the Bulls 105-84 to end a 12-game losing streak in the series. 12 games! That's almost a baker's dozen! Josh Childress added 14 points, nine boards and a few afro pubes for Ben Wallace's face in the win.

Garden chairman James Dolan recently told confidants that he knows a coaching change must be made and that he is preparing to do just that.

Now I must know which one of Dolan's advisors slept in this morning and forgot to cut out the NBA glance in the daily paper, replacing it instead with a coupon for Honey Nut Cheerios.

Source: James Dolan Leaning Toward Firing Isiah Thomas Before Season's End [New York Daily News]

Via Marc Berman's Knicks Blog: a duo of NYK die-hards — Genovese from Yonkers and Gustapo from Queens — and their new rap song, "Fire Isiah." If this doesn't break Zeke, nothing will!

A few of the lyrics:

I been reppin' the Knicks, lil' kid around the mid eighties,
Bernard King, Cartwright, shorts tight crazy,
Patrick came, Mark Jackson came,
Pat Riley, Van Gundy showed us the D game,
Starks grabbed his jersey always repped NY,
Oakman and Mase always played with pride,
Last of the true Knicks Camby and Kurt Thomas split,
Now here comes Isiah now we turned to spit,
Got the highest payroll but the worst chemistry fit,
I got "Fire Isiah" tattooed on my wrist.

Your rap-battle move, Isiah. If you need a ghostwriter, call me. I know many, many words that rhyme with "sunt." Like, off the top of my head: "cunt." (For example.)

"Fire Isiah" / First Cousins [MySpace]
Fire Isiah Rap Song [Knicks Blog]
Bob Knight, Isiah Thomas And "Sunt" [Deadspin]

"I know people will laugh even more at me, but I'm hell bent on getting this accomplished and making sure that we get it done," Thomas told the New York Daily News. "And I'm not leaving until we get it done. I believe that one day we will win a championship here. And I believe a couple of these guys will be a part of that. And I believe I'll be a part of that."

Well, you're not the only person with fervent beliefs, my friend.

• "I believe that these slacks will fit." — Mangino

• "I believe that Tom Brady, Ben Affleck, etc., had better watch their bitches" — Kige

• "I believe that an onside kick is prudent now. We'd be stupid NOT to try it." — Stoops

• "I believe that Bob Saget is funny (kill me)." — Conan O'Brien

• "I believe I will head out to the Hamptons and ride my horse, Prickly Pete." — Costanza

• "I believe I'll stop into my office and check my mail ... oh shit ..." — Cam Cameron

• "I believe I'll have another Suzy Q." — Weiss

Isiah Thomas Predicts A Title [New York Daily News]

"We'll keep moving in this direction," Thomas said. When asked what direction that would be, he responded, "Me as coach." Happy New Year, Knicks fans.

Thomas then called a closed-door meeting with himself, after which he reported that he may have been fondled.

• Scottie Pippen, Making Friends. How does one lobby for a head coaching job in the NBA? By ridiculing that team's current players, naturally. Scottie Pippen is playing it very wise indeed, on Monday telling the Chicago Tribune that Ben Gordon and Kirk Hinrich shoot too much, among other things. Pippen said that Gordon is "out there shooting for a contract" and that "taking bad shots is a sign of a lack of respect for your teammates. You think I'm going to run back if I know B.J. Armstrong is jacking it up?'' Pippen said, the newspaper reported. ''My shot is just as good as his. That's what players think ... You can't have midgets running your backcourt. Little guards always put you in a vulnerable position."

Still The Coach [New York Post]

The San Francisco Zoo remains closed today as authorities investigate the fatal mauling of New York Knicks' coach Isiah Thomas, whom witnesses say was seen taunting a Siberian tiger at the railing of a sealed grotto on Tuesday. The incident ends a sad chapter in Knicks' history, as the large jungle cat finally accomplished what New York protesters could not. Ignoring fans' pleas to fire the embattled coach, Knicks president James Dolan only last week gave his support to Thomas ... plus a complimentary Zoo Pass with coupon good for a free endangered animal ring tone. The Knicks honored their unfortunate coach on Wednesday by charging out and losing to the Orlando Magic, 110-96.

"Siberian tigers tend to become aggressive when exposed to shooting percentages below 35 percent," said wild animal expert Roger Smale, curator of the San Diego Wildlife Park. "Tigers appreciate sound defensive principles and teamwork. Sadly coach Thomas was in the wrong place at the wrong time." The Magic had lost four straight at home before Wednesday's victory, getting 26 points from Hedo Turkoglu and 25 from Rashard Lewis.

• Trouble In River City. Believe it or not, the Celtics hadn't won in Sacramento since 1996; until Wednesday, when Paul Pierce scored 14 of his 16 points during a 33-5 run in the second quarter, leading Boston over the Kings 89-69. And just for the record, there is nothing more fun than driving out to watch the home team put up a big 69. Fun.

• It's All About ME. Every single child in America owns at least one Monta Ellis jersey, and for good reason: The Big ME scored a career-high 35 points to lead Golden State over Minnesota 105-101; the Warriors' fifth straight home victory.

• Motor City Madness. Are you starting to get the feeling that the Pistons are planning a big party at the end of the season? No looting, Pistons' fans! Richard Hamilton scored 22 points as Detroit shot 78 percent in the third quarter, beating the Nets 101-83. It was the Pistons' sixth straight win.

Two things one should know about Sundays game between the Lakers and Knicks at Madison Square Garden: Kobe Bryant scored his 20,000th point, and had to endure taunts from both Chris Rock and Spike Lee in order to do so. Yes, Chris Rock and Spike Lee were both in attendance, crossing the picket line to get in. That Knicks' boycott is going reeeeeeaaaal well. Bryant scored 39 points, becoming the youngest player in NBA history to reach 20,000, and the Lakers won 95-90.

From the New York Daily News: "There was also something different about Thomas' demeanor after the Knicks dropped a season-high 11 games under .500. The embattled team president/coach is promising to shake up the starting lineup for Wednesday's game in Orlando. With one-third of the season complete, Thomas appears to have reached the same conclusion that many reached in June when Thomas made his big draft-night trade: Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry can't play together. "We probably have the wrong guys starting," Thomas said. "We will look to change our lineup to try to get some energy and intense guys in our lineup." And just in time!

• Warrior Creed. Even though being outscored 29-14 in the fourth quarter, the Warriors were still able to capture a 105-96 win over the Cavaliers (LeBron 25 points) at Quicken Loans Arena in beautiful Cleveland. Stephen Jackson had 29 points and Baron Davis 27 for Golden State, now 16-12 overall.

• Rondo: First Blood. The Celtics have found a Fourth Musketeer; Rajon Rondo, whose 23 points — including his first two 3-pointers of the season — led Boston cto a 103-91 win over Orlando. "I think the league has the misconception of the three-headed monster, but obviously when you play a team that good, there is no room for error. You have to play almost flawless,'' Magic guard Keyon Dooling said. Paul Pierce had 24 points, Ray Allen 22 and Kevin Garnett 21 points and 12 rebounds for the Celtics (22-3).

• Keep Your Motor Runnin'. The Houston Rockets, playing the second half without Tracy McGrady (aggravating a sore knee), and the first quarter without Yao Ming (facial cut), lost to Detroit 94-82. Richard Hamilton scored 17 points and Antonio McDyess and Rasheed Wallace had double-doubles as the Pistons improved to 20-7. Not toooooo shab-bay.

(Photo via right here.)

If Isiah Thomas acknowledges the protest at all — and he's just dumb enough to do so — he'll probably point out something idiotic, like his famous "we're missing layups because you're booing" comments. (Here's a whole great list of Isiah quotes over the last few years.) But we think the small number of people showing up for a protest is indicative of a fact far more damning than righteous fury; it's impossible not to be apathetic about the Knicks right now. Sure, Isiah inspires much ridicule, and pretty much everything he says digs himself a deeper hole (in the most entertaining way) ... but when you're at the game, you really can't hear him. The games themselves — save for last night — are empty, sullen slogs meandered through by tall men who don't care. For all the incompetence and sexual harassing going on at the Garden, the games themselves are brutal. That's why people don't care ... and that's probably why there's only two dozen people protesting the Knicks, and why Isiah Thomas still has a job.

Outside The Garden, An Eight-Foot Pink Slip For Thomas Seeks Change [New York Times]
Isiah Thomas Quotes [InsideHoops]

It happened late in Monday's Knicks-Pacers game when a fan seated one row behind the Knicks team bench and only a few feet from Isiah Thomas held up a sign calling for Thomas' ouster as team president and coach. Garden security invoked the arena's "signs and banners policy," which states that "any interference with the enjoyment of another guest's experience will result in the confiscation of the sign and/or possible ejection from the facility."

Interference with the enjoyment of another guest's experience? Then technically, shouldn't Isiah be forced to leave his seat?

Or, as a Times' commenter suggested, what if a couple thousand fans all showed up to the next game with 'Fire Isiah' signs? Does security break out the water cannon?

Just to be safe and helpful, the New York Daily News included a full-page "Fire Isiah" sign in this morning's editions. We disagree, though; as we've said before, we don't want Isiah to ever, ever leave.

Pink Slip For Thomas? Fan Says Sign Right Here [New York Times]
Fan Ejected For Holding 'Fire Isiah' Sign [New York Daily News]

What is "sunt," you ask? Well, Isiah almost tells you, but backs off after looking at Coach Knight, who looks like he's about to rip his young protege's throat out. It's a highly entertaining video.

We think this might serve as a reminder of where Isiah got his world famous "bitch" mindset from. Many have ascribed it to the hardscrabble streets he grew up, but let us not forget where Isiah learned his coaching acumen. Of course, there's one main difference: Bob Knight can, you know, coach.

What Isiah Thomas Learned From Bobby Knight [The Big Lead]

• Pile On. With NBA "Heritage Week" in full swing, the Knicks decided to wear uniforms from their 1972-73 season — the last time they won a championship. So how'd the old/new digs work out? Oh, gee, take a wild fuckin' guess. Kevin Durant dropped 30 points and Jeff Green added 17 as the 6-17 Seattle RookieSonics beat the shitastic Knicks 117-110. Adding insult to injury, former Knicks forward Kurt Thomas scored five clutch points over the final few minutes to seal the deal. C'mon, Isiah ... Kurt Thomas? Can that dude even see straight? New York falls to 6-15, tied with Miami for the worst record in the East.

• Respect The Underhand, Dammit! The Rockets shot 6-for-22 from the charity stripe, missing 14 of their first 15 attempts, yet still beat the Pistons 80-77. Man, when will it all make sense? Tracy McGrady, taking a page from the Isiah Thomas excuse-book, explained his team's foul line futility: "It's mental. It's just you and the basket," he said. "And the fans definitely don't make it easy on you. Every time you miss, (they say), 'Awwww!' 'Awwww!' That's the worst thing you can do to a player — especially at home." Awwww, NBA players and coaches want to play in noise-canceling headphones. Cute.

• Good God Almighty! Garnett Killed Brady! Here's a fun idea I just came up with while eating a pizza bagel: Patriots versus Celtics in a "Hell in a Cell" match. Yeah, that's right; two dominant New England-based teams enter the cage ... only one crew survives the night! Winner gets the Red Sox in a "Ladder Match" at Summerslam. What? You wouldn't pay good money to see Boston teams beat the shit out of each other? Rookie Glen Davis scored 16 points in his first NBA start to lead Boston to a 90-78 win over the Kings to keep the Celtics unbeaten at home. Sacramento is now 0-9 on the road.

• He A Get, Get, Get, Get, You Dunk. Kris Kristofferson. Kris Kross. Kris Humphries. I see a pattern, and that pattern is awesome. Kris Humphries had 16 points and 12 rebounds and Kris Bosh — snicker, snicker, snicker — scored 17 as the Raptors beat-up the Mavericks 92-76. Joy! And in even better news: T.J. Ford, seen walking and smiling, received a loud ovation when he joined the Raps' bench in street clothes during the second quarter.

Last night, after the Knicks lost yet again, Somehow-Still-Coach Isiah blamed the shitshow the franchise has become on the fans.

Thomas apparently had heard enough. Late in the game, he could be seen debating some fans sitting near the court. One of those fans, Mara Altschuler, was so enraged by the discussion that she sought out reporters after the final buzzer.

"He said it's the fans' fault because they don't have a good sixth man," said Altschuler, who has season tickets near midcourt. Her family has had the seats for more than 40 years, since the old Garden, she said.

Yesterday, the Knicks shed that Anucha Browne Sanders punitive damages suit by settling the case. One huge, monstrous burden off their back. One more to go.

Another Loss, But A New Scapegoat: The Fans [New York Times]

Last night, Lou Holtz broke ground on his little game of Dress-Up by crossing borders to The Association and giving a pep talk to the Knicks as if he were Isiah Thomas ... wearing a Knicks jersey. It might not be too far-fetched if something in Thomas's cortex snapped and he wore a Knickerjersey on the sidelines with the team.

After his slam on my beloved city of Toledo last week, it's not easy to turn around in a week and give him credit, but Holtz was basically right on all fronts, even if he did embellish the way little old men always do. Unfortunately, given the state of the New York Knicks, a pep talk is tantamount to a pilot crashing into the mountainside, and Dr. Rumack coming into the cockpit saying, "I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you." But what do I know, the Knicks won 91-88 over the Milwaukee Bucks last night.

Do I Have To Do Everything Around Here? After LeBron James' hurt his fingers, you'd imagine a team without its superstar can't win games. So explain the Toronto Raptors beating those very Cleveland Cavaliers without their own Chris Bosh. Go on. I'll just wait here.

The Celtics Are Like My 8th Grade Quiz Bowl Team. There were these three kids who scored about 90 percent of the points, and we won a lot of matches. I'm not sure whatever happened to them, but it certainly couldn't be more important or profitable than writing about sports on the Internet, could it? The Celtics were carried by Paul Pierce (27), Kevin Garnett (23), and Ray Allen (17) and nobody else wearing green reached double-digit points in the 95-85 win over the Miami Heat.

No Love For The Suns? Yeah, I'm totally preempting the jeers about leaving out the Magic-Suns game by including it. Now if only we could do that for every game, every night. Dwight Howard's 30 points and 23 rebounds kept Orlando close, but the Phoenix Slam Dunk Invitational championship went to the Suns tonight, in which they won 110-106, so I'm guessing they had two more alley-oops than the Magic did.

In order to understand Marbury, we think we must look into his past. Therefore, we've asked The Assimilated Negro to break down various Marbury-related videos from the past to try to get in the man's mind. The first installment of Deconstructing Starbury is after the jump.

—-—-—-—--

In the past couple years Knicks fans have had to come to terms with the fact that their point guard and team leader is a true-and-living insaniac. A lot of the evidence for this is available on You Tube and the internet at large in the form of clips and interviews etc. So in the interest of trying to make some sense of the nonsensical we will begin the process of Deconstructing Starbury, the New York Knicks are not going to win an NBA Championship anytime soon, but at the least we can dissect Captain Crazy and see how this all happened.

Appropriately we will start at the beginning, the oldest video we could find, with then high school prep star Stephon Marbuy in 1994.

0 - 1:15

Highlights: Early Delusions of Grandeur, How To Fake Laugh, The Half inch of Humility, The Familiar Refrain.

Analysis: So right out the gate we can see how deeply rooted Stephon's delusions of grandeur go when Sam Roberts asks "when did you start playing basketball?" Stephon tells him "2 or 3 years old." Sam Roberts is stunned, and Stephon clarifies that by "playing basketball" he means "hitting the rim." Then Roberts, still incredulous, presumably because he has seen a few 2 or 3 year olds in his day, and a few basketballs, and a few regulation basketball rims and knows a little about physics and gravity and such and with this knowledge you might be a little incredulous also, asks, "did you succeed?"

Of course he did. This is what the kids like to call "shit-talk." It is the first language of young athletes, especially those in urban environs.

At 43 seconds in we get the perfect corny joke and fake laugh exchange.

"You weren't this tall when you were 2 or 3?"

"Naw, hahahahahahah."

Funny stuff. I don't know if it tells us anything, but its good to isolate and identify these false moments. For the children.

One consistently confounding thing about Marbury's particular strain of mental malaise is the extreme polarity. With Stephon's insanity, and I can only presume with other crazies as well, a big part of that the willingness to represent oneself in fairly contradictory ways. For example, being both incredibly vain and incredibly humble. We see this in effect here when after likening himself to a two year old Hercules, Stephon self-effaces:

"Your'e 6'2" now."

"No I"m 6' 1" AND A HALF."

Ahhh yes. Marbury? More like Stephon Modesty. I'd liken this to having a conversation with God and you point to all the heavens and the earth and say, "did you make all this" and God says, "well everything except the packing peanuts and condoms."

"You didn't make the condoms?"

"Naw, hahahahaha."

This segment ends with a familiar response template for Knicks fans. I think Stephon has scored 19 after every game he's played, and he also always does "alright, but not his best." The only thing that has changed is the winning. Here he won, now he doesn't. I guess he wins less as the competition rises. Stephon must know this also, deep inside. I suspect this will be a theme we see in future vids.

1:15 - 2:00.

We are introduced to Nunyo Demasio in this section. His breathing is strained, and he's making me nervous. I'm not sure why he keeps looking at me/ the camera. No one else is doing that. Every time he does it I feel like he's giving me, and only me, some sort of secret subliminal message about where Stephon Marbury hides his treasure in Coney Island. We all know Stephon has a treasure chest of money buried somewhere in Coney Island so that should anything befall him he can always go home dig it up and be ok. This is fact. Nunyo Demasio knows where it is. And he's nervous about it. Now I am too.

2:00 - 3:33

This is an interesting section of the interview. First of all Nunyo and Marbury seem to square off a little for control of the interview. Unfortunately trying to riff on Stephon's family leaves Demasio vulnerable to Marbury's more intimate knowledge.

But we get an extended whiff of defensiveness from Stephon in the section on his brothers who were all high school basketball stars now doing regular, if not menial, work. His rundown of what his brothers are doing is somewhat telling. You can see the evolution.

One brother works at a boy club, just got his degree at Weaver State College. The unimpressive reality of this hits Stephon as he talks about his next brother causing him to blank out on something we figure Stephon — who's been playing ball since 2 or 3 and has 4 basketball playing siblings — would never blank on. "He went to the Clippers for uhh, what was it ... uh ..... CAMP>" Hmmmm, yes. NBA Training Camp. By the time his nervous licking of his lips comes around, I totally understand, 'cause my mouth is dry as well.

"You feeling self-conscious about your brothers?"

"Naw hahahahahaa."

3:33 - 5:05

Nunyo tells us what's behind the Stephon legend, while still talking directly to ME. He's convinced that Stephon has a special charisma. Which with 13 years of hindsight we can now say is a dubious assertion at best. Not that some people don't like Stephon, but it demands an articulation on the distinction between a likable personality, and someone who is afforded respect because they are talented and/or wealthy. Jury might still be out on Step; after all, he did bag that intern in the back of the truck, which likely demands at least a little charisma, but what we can tell for sure from this video is that Nunyo's lack of charisma makes certain that he'd be impressed by Marbury regardless.

"You been laid recently, Nunyo?"

"Naw, hahahahahahaaaah"

5:05 - End

Perhaps the most important part of the video. In response to what he's doing after school Stephon says he's going to school and, "if i happen to make it to the NBA, you know, god willing, if i don't, I would like to be a lawyer."

Stephon Marbury Esq. Attorney at law-yer. I can see the infomercial now. Anyone hating on Stephon running the point should ponder that other possibility for the rest of the week.

First came the bulletin board material that New York so kindly handed to Boston on Wednesday. Drunk on power from two straight victories, Quentin Richardson made a point of saying the the Celtics were a three-man team with no depth. In retrospect, perhaps that wasn't wise. Then came the spookily prescient prediction by the wise and mysterious "Dan" on the New York Post's Knicks' message board. During a round of "guess the score," Dan called it "Celtics 148, Knicks 59," five hours before the game. OK, he got a little carried away on the front end, but he got the Knicks' half exactly, and the fact that it would be a blowout. Weird. Oh, and you're just gonna love the ESPN Featured Comment of the Day a little later, folks.

From AP: "Only Nate Robinson's 37-foot 3-pointer at the final buzzer saved the Knicks from scoring the fewest points in franchise history. That might not be enough to save coach Isiah Thomas from getting fired: He was all-but-gone during an eight-game losing streak before earning a reprieve with two straight wins." Kevin Garnett played just 22 minutes, scoring eight points before leaving the game midway through the third quarter with Boston ahead 69-34. Paul Pierce and Ray Allen also sat out the fourth quarter and played 29 minutes apiece. It was the Celtics' largest margin of victory since 1970.

• Phil Jackson Just Can't Quit You. Phil Jackson evidently is not disgusted enough with the talent he's been given to hobble away from the Lakers; he signed a contract extension on Thursday for a reported $24 million for two years. And before the ink was dry, LA drilled Denver 127-99, with Kobe Bryant scoring 24 points. Carmelo Anthony was ejected in the fourth quarter after a flagrant foul against Sasha Vujacic, hitting him in the throat away from the ball. "Why you little ..." "Gahhh!"

• And Betty When You Call Me You Can Call Me Al. First of all, I would like to point out to our new Golden State Warriors overlords that as a media personality, I would be useful in helping to round up people to toil in your underground sugar mines. Al Harrington scored 18 points and held Yao Ming to 10 points on 4-for-12 shooting as the Warriors beat the Rockets 113-94. Golden State has won eight of its past nine after an 0-6 start.