Update! The Today Show is doing it too.


H/T to readers KC, Sean and John.

Naturally, by exclusive interview, they really mean that they put a tape recorder in front of Uchitel, let her rant for twenty minutes or so about all the people who are out to get her and then transcribed it. (The only downside to this strategy is that the Post didn't have room to call her a "buxom beauty.") Uchitel says she's only met Tiger twice in her whole life, and only in her capacity as a VIP party planner. She didn't sleep with him, didn't sext him, didn't follow him to Melbourne, Australia, so she could sneak into his room and destroy his marriage, and he definitely didn't tell her that he loved her. So there you go.

But she also had some choice words for the women that she believes sold her out to the National Enquirer.

"She's just a total train wreck, this girl, and decided because she heard me say Tiger's name a bunch and her and her wicked little friend are looking for a story . . . I think they probably misinterpreted because they are on so many drugs and just stupid. When I was arguing four hours on the phone about Tiger, they probably thought, 'Oh, Rachel knows Tiger.'

[...]

[One of the sources] is just looking for a payday because she is a f- - -ing hooker and wants money. She just got a little smart for once and put some things together she could use for a story."

Now that's an interview! It remains to be seen whether she produces the witnesses and evidence that she says will clear her name, or whether anyone will believe it—especially Mrs. Eldrick—but she does make a pretty persuasive argument. You should really read the whole thing, especially the part where she talks about wanting a regular normal guy to settle down with.

Dude ... that's you! You should totally call her!

Tiger Woods alleged other woman Rachel Uchitel gives exclusive interview with The Post [NY Post]

I'm pretty sure this guy didn't make the front page this much when he was actually running a New York sports team. The paper has at least four new Phillips-releated stories today, plus more statements and police reports on their website, and a background dossier on Brooke Hundley, "a tiger hell-bent on clawing her way to the top." (If you say so.)

There's also the fantastic discovery of the woman who Hundley hired to call Marni Phillips' and tell her that her husband was a cheater. The woman answered a Craigslist ad posted by Hundley, offering her $50 to call Phillips' wife and read a prepared script about her husband's infidelities. (The ruse didn't work.) Yet, somehow that didn't set off any alarm bells for the woman who took the job.

"But [Hundley] seemed upset that I still didn't talk to [Phillips' wife] in person," [Courtney] Arp said. "That's when I started to think a little bit, 'This girl is crazy.' "

That's what tipped you off?

But the real icing on the cake is Mandy Stadtmiller's only somewhat tongue-in-cheek breakdown of how to pick the right floozy to cheat on your wife with. Of course, if guys like Steve Phillips could identify the crazy chicks before they invited them back to the hotel room, there wouldn't be anybody left to sleep with married baseball analysts.

Still, some of her points could be taken to heart:

Rule No. 7: She's done this before and already has a reputation as the office bicycle.

Rule No. 8: She says things like, "I would never date you, but . . ." Also acceptable are "I can't ever imagine marrying a guy like you" and "Your poor wife."

Rule No. 9: She's the opposite of 22.

Solid advice. By the way, so far the paper has referred to Hundley as a "harlot" and a "strumpet" (as well as "tubby" and "portly") because "slattern" and "woman of ill repute" were apparently too old fashioned. But the most egregious slander was reserved for Phillips himself, who is labeled on today's front cover as a "star." If that's not a blatant disregard for the truth, I don't know what is.

Loony lover Brooke Hundley used Craigslist to 'hire' a phone stalker [NY Post]
Cheat sheet [NY Post]

When there's not a SICKO in need of shaming, Peyser skulks around courthouses watching the trials of minor celebrities.

Today she is OUTRAGED that Antonio Pierce TWEETED after testifying before a grand jury. He didn't Tweet about the Plaxico Burress incident, but, you know. He TWEETED! Instead of confessing to all the various crimes that Andrew Peyser knows he is guilty of! The nerve of this guy!

MINUTES after he told a grand jury he did nothing in the Plaxico Burress mess, Giants linebacker and fellow twit Antonio Pierce couldn't wait to post this cocky tweet on Twitter:

"Which way to ALBANY? someone just told me."

Yes, right. Very cocky. And "arrogant." And "wacky" and "ornery." And: "This idiot athlete clearly thinks a lot of himself." Because he is Tweeting, about how he is excited to play football, and how he hopes to play it very well, this fall.

We hope Andrea Peyser stays on the sports beat, because we would love to read her thoughts on Mutton Bustin'.

As you know, ESPN put a blanket network ban on all Post employees after their less than respectful treatment of the Erin Andrews video. The story didn't make the front page (or the sports pages) today, but a mini-item did mysteriously find its way into the gossip section this morning, just to subtly remind the network that everything that's happened so far is entirely their fault.

No one would have known that a sick voyeur had secretly videotaped ESPN reporter Erin Andrews nude in her hotel room, if the Mickey Mouse sports network hadn't sent a letter to an obscure Web site demanding that it take down its link to a fuzzy video of an unidentified blonde. The video had gone largely unnoticed since it first went up in February, according to a girlie-posting site, DonChavez.com. Last Thursday, NSFWPOA.com, which had linked to the Andrews shots, got a letter from ESPN counsel David Pahl demanding the "pictures of a young, blonde woman" be removed. It didn't take long for Web sites to identify the blonde as Andrews — and her lawyer soon confirmed it.

See? The girlie-posting Post was just doing what ESPN told them to. Maybe the network should ban themselves from their own radio shows, did you ever think of that?

ESPN OUTED ERIN VIDEO [NY Post]

And sure, why wouldn't they? I can't say I'm personally offended, but I'm not a member of Cory Lidle's family. I'm not someone who cared about him on a personal level. Those people are out there, however, and they probably could've waited until Monday for this. Or perhaps, and I know this sounds crazy, done without it all together.

But who knows, by Monday, there could be a whole new tragedy at which to poke fun, and this one would have gone to waste.

Delonas for Friday, October 13, 2006 [New York Post]

Could it be that Smith's urban street-hip brotha yak which he seems able to turn on and off with the drop of a Kangol is supposed to appeal/pander to young, urban, street-talkin' sports fans?

This is an observation that we do not understand. Had Mushnick said, "Smith is just yelling about matters he does not understand" or "Smith makes me poop myself," we'd have agreed, a little too much. But Smith, despite being (gasp!) black, doesn't seem to be talking "black" that much to us, unless "black" is a synonym for "please-make-it-stop-so-loud-so-loud-so-loud." We're not the only ones who noticed this either. Can't Stop The Bleeding writes, "The Mushminded One would have you believe that that Smith s spiel requires a Jive Translator a la "Airplane." Which isn t just an exaggeration, it s a full-fledged slur."

Stephen Annoying [New York Post]
Phil Needs A New Act [Can't Stop The Bleeding]