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MLS Will Ride The USWNT's Coattails By Having Floats In Victory Parade

If the TV ratings for the USWNT’s obliteration of Japan in the 2015 Women’s World Cup final—it was the most-watched soccer game in U.S. history—stood for anything, it’s that Americans will support the sporting greatness of our own unreservedly. Unfortunately, the vultures in charge of the inferior soccer product MLS… »7/09/15 2:49pm7/09/15 2:49pm

MLS Player Gets His Dick Grabbed, Gets A Yellow Card For Flopping

It's really hard to say who comes off worse here. On the one hand, we've got New York Red Bulls defender Jamison Olave clearly grabbing a handful of Real Salt Lake forward Olmes Garcia's dick and balls. On the other hand, we've got Garcia shamelessly diving and trying to sell the idea that Olave literally shot him in… »7/31/14 1:26pm7/31/14 1:26pm

MLS Couldn't Dig Itself Out Of The Snow Or Its Own Ass [UPDATE]

The weather had already shafted DC United. The higher seed, they lost homefield advantage when MLS switched the legs of their home-and-home with the Red Bulls because the New York area was still cleaning up after Hurricane Sandy. It wasn't fair, and United fans were pissed, but it's hard to see that there was any… »11/08/12 4:35pm11/08/12 4:35pm

What Counts In Soccer As A Fight Broke Out After The Red Bulls-Galaxy Match

The MLS playoffs are underway—you knew that, right?—and after the L.A. Galaxy's 1-0 victory over New York Red Bulls things got a bit testy. It wasn't brouhaha levels, mostly because the guy who appeared suffer the most pain (Red Bulls defender Rafael Márquez) wasn't actually touched, as far as anybody can tell. Even… »10/30/11 6:50pm10/30/11 6:50pm