Ahead of the Curve: 10 Big Names That Will Make Headlines in 2015

Good-bye Old Man 2014, welcome Little Baby New Year 2015. Out with the old, in with the new. Without further ado, here are ten picks for who to watch this upcoming year. » 1/07/15 11:26am 1/07/15 11:26am

Two Fumbles In Final Moments Doom No. 3 Auburn

Auburn, so routinely a team of preposterous miracles, has just managed to bumble its way to a come-from-behind loss tonight at Jordan-Hare Stadium, where the Tigers hadn't lost since 2012. Three weeks after Alabama burned Texas A&M to the ground and salted the earth for good measure, the Aggies, losers of three… » 11/08/14 8:00pm 11/08/14 8:00pm

Figure Skaters Crash Into Each Other's Faces; One Later Busts Ass

At the Lexus Cup of China, the International Skating Union's Grand Prix of Figure Skating, there was a real humdinger of a bell-ringer between China's Han Yan and Japan's Yuzuru Hanyu in warmups. YouTube shows both men gliding backwards at concussion-ready speeds and turning into one another, chin-to-noggin, too… » 11/08/14 7:09pm 11/08/14 7:09pm

Baylor Wins In Norman For The First Time As Sooners Fans Lament

Baylor kicked the unholy dogshit out of Oklahoma today, a turn of affairs that many Sooners fans, raised to believe in lasting hierarchies of college football, simply cannot countenance. And how can you blame them? For generations, the people of the allegedly great state of Oklahoma have relied on a juggernaut… » 11/08/14 4:55pm 11/08/14 4:55pm

Disneyfied NFL Logos Are The 2014est Thing Of 2014

Here's some news from the Internet. [Designer] has reimagined all [30-some] logos of [powerful sporting league] teams to correspond to [popular culture trope or foreign sporting league]. Also, you'll notice that [particular sporting franchise] now has the look of [Disney princess whom online quiz said you resemble]! » 11/06/14 11:43pm 11/06/14 11:43pm

Leah Still Reminds Us What A Bullshit Deal Childhood Cancer Is

The NFL Network (and, evidently, enormous caterpillars with human faces) have identified the sugary-awful emotional center of tonight's battle of Ohio: a 4-year-old named Leah Still, the daughter of Bengals defensive tackle Devon Still. She's attending the Browns-Bengals game tonight. It's the first time she… » 11/06/14 9:29pm 11/06/14 9:29pm

Jesus Christ Ditches His Wife At An Oklahoma Restaurant

A woman has been jailed on a charge of fraud after her husband, Jesus Christ, fooled her into ordering food she couldn't pay for at a restaurant. » 10/21/14 2:43pm 10/21/14 2:43pm

ESPN Suspends Bill Simmons Three Weeks Over Goodell Criticism

Bill Simmons practically begged ESPN to suspend him, and the oafish and epically tight-assed media behemoth did just that Wednesday night, giving him three weeks for coming to the same conclusion about NFL commissioner Roger Goodell that just about everyone in the thinking public has. » 9/24/14 7:27pm 9/24/14 7:27pm

5 Million Online Passwords Leaked, Check Yours Now [Updated]

According to the Daily Dot, nearly 5 million usernames and passwords associated with Gmail accounts have been leaked on a Russian Bitcoin forum. Here's what you should know. » 9/10/14 8:55am 9/10/14 8:55am

Fox & Friends Host Has Annoying Question For Mo'ne Davis

Mo'ne Davis, the 13-year-old girl who led her baseball team to the Little League World Series by being awesome and striking fools out, was a guest on this morning's episode of Fox & Friends. Naturally, co-host Eric Bolling seized on the opportunity to be annoying. » 8/13/14 5:17pm 8/13/14 5:17pm

The NFL Is Dumping Bad News On Us While Nobody Is Paying Attention

The Friday afternoon news dump is a tried and true tactic for any organization looking to get some negative press in and out of the news cycle as quickly as possible. With tomorrow being a holiday and most of America already checked out for the long weekend, the NFL decided to unleash a classic news dump. » 7/03/14 5:17pm 7/03/14 5:17pm

VICE Sports launched today. "The sports media landscape, if we're being honest, is really crowded. We're not going to out-ESPN ESPN. We're not going to try," VICE Sports publisher Ryan Duffy told Forbes in an article that was published this morning, right around the time Duffy left the company, we heard. » 6/11/14 4:52pm 6/11/14 4:52pm

O.C.P. Now Stands For 'Opening Crap Pitch'

RoboCop threw out the ceremonial first pitch in Detroit today, and it was only marginally better than his latest movie. His appearance was supposed to coincide with an unveiling of the long-dreamt-of statue everyone wants to see planted in old Detroit, but alas, that didn't really come off, either. » 6/03/14 8:04pm 6/03/14 8:04pm

The Mets Can't Hit And Can't Pitch But They Sure Can Fire People

The Mets made a rare double-switch today when they released 11-year veteran pitcher Jose Valverde and axed their hitting coach. » 5/26/14 6:52pm 5/26/14 6:52pm

The Grizzlies' Front Office Is A Dysfunctional Zoo Of Obtuseness

The briefly open relationship between the Memphis Grizzlies and head coach Dave Joerger reset curiously this week when the Minnesota Timberwolves did not hire him away. Hall pass thus revoked, Joerger came back and made nice with his bosses, who, if this delightful bit of reportage by SI's Chris Mannix is to be… » 5/26/14 4:30pm 5/26/14 4:30pm

North Korea Is Another Year Closer To Soccer World Domination

On the eve of the World Cup, North Korea's FIFA ranking is holding steady at 137, which sounds pretty bad until you remember that places the North Koreans ahead of fully 70 other countries, unincorporated territories, protectorates and, in the case of No. 177 Curaçao, even an overachieving liqueur. And yet Korea DPR… » 5/26/14 2:13pm 5/26/14 2:13pm

Lasagna Disaster Inspires Incredible Headline

Yes, that is a real front page, from the May 16 edition of the Gaffney Ledger in South Carolina. Note that the headline isn't a quote, but an editorial decision to use "LASAGNA WAS EVERYWHERE" in huge font above the fold. The full story describes the high-octane lasagna accident in necessary detail. » 5/20/14 3:37pm 5/20/14 3:37pm

House Just Explodes On Live Television

This just happened in Brentwood, New Hampshire, and, um, holy shit. There were reports of shots being fired at this house earlier in the day, and it was burning for 15 minutes before it exploded. » 5/12/14 6:18pm 5/12/14 6:18pm