Two Fumbles In Final Moments Doom No. 3 Auburn

Auburn, so routinely a team of preposterous miracles, has just managed to bumble its way to a come-from-behind loss tonight at Jordan-Hare Stadium, where the Tigers hadn't lost since 2012. Three weeks after Alabama burned Texas A&M to the ground and salted the earth for good measure, the Aggies, losers of three… » 11/08/14 8:00pm 11/08/14 8:00pm

Figure Skaters Crash Into Each Other's Faces; One Later Busts Ass

At the Lexus Cup of China, the International Skating Union's Grand Prix of Figure Skating, there was a real humdinger of a bell-ringer between China's Han Yan and Japan's Yuzuru Hanyu in warmups. YouTube shows both men gliding backwards at concussion-ready speeds and turning into one another, chin-to-noggin, too late… » 11/08/14 7:09pm 11/08/14 7:09pm

Baylor Wins In Norman For The First Time As Sooners Fans Lament

Baylor kicked the unholy dogshit out of Oklahoma today, a turn of affairs that many Sooners fans, raised to believe in lasting hierarchies of college football, simply cannot countenance. And how can you blame them? For generations, the people of the allegedly great state of Oklahoma have relied on a juggernaut… » 11/08/14 4:55pm 11/08/14 4:55pm

Disneyfied NFL Logos Are The 2014est Thing Of 2014

Here's some news from the Internet. [Designer] has reimagined all [30-some] logos of [powerful sporting league] teams to correspond to [popular culture trope or foreign sporting league]. Also, you'll notice that [particular sporting franchise] now has the look of [Disney princess whom online quiz said you resemble]! » 11/06/14 11:43pm 11/06/14 11:43pm

Leah Still Reminds Us What A Bullshit Deal Childhood Cancer Is

The NFL Network (and, evidently, enormous caterpillars with human faces) have identified the sugary-awful emotional center of tonight's battle of Ohio: a 4-year-old named Leah Still, the daughter of Bengals defensive tackle Devon Still. She's attending the Browns-Bengals game tonight. It's the first time she has seen… » 11/06/14 9:29pm 11/06/14 9:29pm

The NFL Is Dumping Bad News On Us While Nobody Is Paying Attention

The Friday afternoon news dump is a tried and true tactic for any organization looking to get some negative press in and out of the news cycle as quickly as possible. With tomorrow being a holiday and most of America already checked out for the long weekend, the NFL decided to unleash a classic news dump. » 7/03/14 5:17pm 7/03/14 5:17pm

The Grizzlies' Front Office Is A Dysfunctional Zoo Of Obtuseness

The briefly open relationship between the Memphis Grizzlies and head coach Dave Joerger reset curiously this week when the Minnesota Timberwolves did not hire him away. Hall pass thus revoked, Joerger came back and made nice with his bosses, who, if this delightful bit of reportage by SI's Chris Mannix is to be… » 5/26/14 4:30pm 5/26/14 4:30pm

North Korea Is Another Year Closer To Soccer World Domination

On the eve of the World Cup, North Korea's FIFA ranking is holding steady at 137, which sounds pretty bad until you remember that places the North Koreans ahead of fully 70 other countries, unincorporated territories, protectorates and, in the case of No. 177 Curaçao, even an overachieving liqueur. And yet Korea DPR… » 5/26/14 2:13pm 5/26/14 2:13pm

Lasagna Disaster Inspires Incredible Headline

Yes, that is a real front page, from the May 16 edition of the Gaffney Ledger in South Carolina. Note that the headline isn't a quote, but an editorial decision to use "LASAGNA WAS EVERYWHERE" in huge font above the fold. The full story describes the high-octane lasagna accident in necessary detail. » 5/20/14 3:52pm 5/20/14 3:52pm