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Manchester United Still Don't Realize They're Not Manchester United Anymore

It’s kind of cute, if in a sad sort of way. Manchester United, once the biggest name in the game, chasing after superstars in the press like a giddy child racing after lightning bugs in the night, hoping to nab one or two like the big clubs can but knowing deep down that it won’t actually happen. »8/26/15 4:43pm8/26/15 4:43pm

Neymar Given Two-Match Suspension For Shenanigans After Colombia Loss

Colombia beat Brazil 1-0 last night in the Copa América, Los Cafeteros’ first win over the South American giants since 1991. But instead of the impressiveness of the feat (and Brazil’s continued struggles) taking center stage, the kerfuffle that broke out after the final whistle has overshadowed the game. »6/18/15 4:11pm6/18/15 4:11pm

Neymar, Brazil's Soccer Messiah, Is Somehow Surpassing His Own Hype

A fundamental part of the marvel that is LeBron James is the sheer madness of his journey. Here is a man who was on the cover of national magazines and playing in front of millions on cable TV as a high schooler, who by the time he was eligible to vote was already being hailed as the successor to quite possibly the… »6/15/15 3:53pm6/15/15 3:53pm

Oh My God, This Iniesta Run And Assist To Neymar Is A Thing Of Beauty

Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Andrés Iniesta just ran practically the length of the pitch, slaloming past defender after defender before sliding in Neymar for the opener in today’s Barcelona-PSG Champions League return leg. Iniesta has been pretty good this year, but who knew he could still do THAT? »4/21/15 3:12pm4/21/15 3:12pm

Luis Suárez Is Back And He's Coming To Devour The World

It feels a little weird saying this about a known shithead, but we can't help but appreciate how Luis Suárez's hard work on the pitch is finally resulting in the goals his play has deserved. But even in the face of criticism earlier in the season, as Suárez struggled to mesh perfectly with his new Barcelona teammates,… »3/06/15 1:37pm3/06/15 1:37pm

Barcelona Respond To Chaos With Best Win Of The Year

In the picture above, which captures a scene from Barcelona's 3-1 victory over Atlético Madrid last night, you can see Barcelona's entire season. It shows Luis Suárez, Neymar, and Lionel Messi—the three players whose individual brilliance has kept the team in the hunt for all the major trophies despite the turmoil »1/12/15 3:13pm1/12/15 3:13pm

Club Disaster Or Not, Neymar, Suárez, And Messi Will Still Fuck You Up

Sure, the world might be falling down around them right now, but put Lionel Messi, Neymar, and Luis Suárez on the pitch, and they're going to wreck shit regardless. The three forwards have all gotten on the score sheet as Barcelona lead Elche 3-0 in the Copa del Rey. Here's how it happened: »1/08/15 5:16pm1/08/15 5:16pm

Neymar Belter From Distance Puts Barcelona Up 2-1 On PSG

Barcelona decided to break out a completely new formation for today's crucial Champions League match against Paris Saint-Germain. It was a sensible but risky choice, since the club has the parts to play three at the back but hadn't yet proved it could come together. Well, when Neymar struts through the heart of the… »12/10/14 3:43pm12/10/14 3:43pm

Lionel Messi Almost Scoring Is More Impressive Than Most Actual Goals

A player broadly similar to Lionel Messi might've been what Johan Cruyff imagined Barcelona would produce after implementing his philosophy, but not even the Dutchman could've foreseen this Argentine's specific genius. I mean, try to prevent your jaw from dropping when he merely gets close to scoring: »10/18/14 4:26pm10/18/14 4:26pm

Ain't No Liga Like The One I Got: Your 2014-15 La Liga Preview

Here we are. The La Liga season has just started up, and now we get to watch the league with the world's three best players, its two best teams, and the saddest hodgepodge of patsies since Enter the Dragon. In spite of these financial realities, Spain managed to produce Europe's wildest title race last season, as… »8/25/14 4:12pm8/25/14 4:12pm