Luis Suárez Is Back And He's Coming To Devour The World

It feels a little weird saying this about a known shithead, but we can't help but appreciate how Luis Suárez's hard work on the pitch is finally resulting in the goals his play has deserved. But even in the face of criticism earlier in the season, as Suárez struggled to mesh perfectly with his new Barcelona teammates,… » 3/06/15 1:37pm 3/06/15 1:37pm

Barcelona Respond To Chaos With Best Win Of The Year

In the picture above, which captures a scene from Barcelona's 3-1 victory over Atlético Madrid last night, you can see Barcelona's entire season. It shows Luis Suárez, Neymar, and Lionel Messi—the three players whose individual brilliance has kept the team in the hunt for all the major trophies despite the turmoil » 1/12/15 3:13pm 1/12/15 3:13pm

Club Disaster Or Not, Neymar, Suárez, And Messi Will Still Fuck You Up

Sure, the world might be falling down around them right now, but put Lionel Messi, Neymar, and Luis Suárez on the pitch, and they're going to wreck shit regardless. The three forwards have all gotten on the score sheet as Barcelona lead Elche 3-0 in the Copa del Rey. Here's how it happened: » 1/08/15 5:16pm 1/08/15 5:16pm

Neymar Belter From Distance Puts Barcelona Up 2-1 On PSG

Barcelona decided to break out a completely new formation for today's crucial Champions League match against Paris Saint-Germain. It was a sensible but risky choice, since the club has the parts to play three at the back but hadn't yet proved it could come together. Well, when Neymar struts through the heart of the… » 12/10/14 3:43pm 12/10/14 3:43pm

Lionel Messi Almost Scoring Is More Impressive Than Most Actual Goals

A player broadly similar to Lionel Messi might've been what Johan Cruyff imagined Barcelona would produce after implementing his philosophy, but not even the Dutchman could've foreseen this Argentine's specific genius. I mean, try to prevent your jaw from dropping when he merely gets close to scoring: » 10/18/14 4:26pm 10/18/14 4:26pm

Ain't No Liga Like The One I Got: Your 2014-15 La Liga Preview

Here we are. The La Liga season has just started up, and now we get to watch the league with the world's three best players, its two best teams, and the saddest hodgepodge of patsies since Enter the Dragon. In spite of these financial realities, Spain managed to produce Europe's wildest title race last season, as… » 8/25/14 4:12pm 8/25/14 4:12pm

No, Neymar Can't Come Back This World Cup. That Could Paralyze Him.

To the surprise of very many, when Neymar went down in the 86th minute against Colombia on Friday, the 22-year-old striker wasn't faking. After being kneed in the back by Colombia's Juan Zúñiga, Neymar was carried off the field and taken directly to a hospital, where doctors soon discovered that he'd suffered a… » 7/07/14 12:10pm 7/07/14 12:10pm

Emotional Neymar Says He's "Sure" Brazil "Will Win"

Before leaving them for good, Neymar spoke with his teammates following the news that a fractured vertebra will keep him out of the remainder of the World Cup and then recorded a message for the rest of his country. He told the rest of Brazil that he knew his teammates would go on and win it all and they'd all be… » 7/05/14 6:40pm 7/05/14 6:40pm