Fake Westbrook jersey. Mouth agape. Handcuffed. Urine on the front of pants. Obviously, some of Philadelphia's finest made their way down to Glendale.

I'd say the chances this individual attends the Wing Bowl this year are fairly strong. That is, of course, if he ever was released from prison.

Not In Our House, Westbrook! [TheDirty.com]

Anyway, this is my conciliatory post and I congratulate Will and the rest of the 14 people that have followed this team before they were the Buzzsaw. Especially that guy in the blue shirt.

I will follow through on my end of our Mayor's bet. If anyone knows any tattoo artists who are willing to put a buzzsaw on me, well, let me know. This fucking sucks.

I'm off tomorrow. Have a good night.

Fourth Quarter

6:23 — All right then, I'm just gonna walk around in circles saying "wow" for about two weeks, but I'll see everyone in two weeks, right here, for the Super Bowl live blog. For the commenters, I'll see you all much sooner the first second I get a chance at slacking off from work.

6:21 — They've probably had that "We Are The Champions" song in their PA system for about 25 years, and finally got the right to push PLAY on it.

6:20 — THE BAND IS ON THE FIELD. THE BAND IS ON THE ... oh, "intercepted." And ... good God almighty, the Arizona Cardinals are a Super Bowl team.

6:19 — Well, how's about 93 yards in nine seconds? IT SEEMS POSSIBLE.

6:17 — Eep. Fourth down, and it all comes down to a punt return. If the Cardinals punter so much as kicks it in the same zip code as the returner, expect him to be waived.

6:16 — The last team, by the way, to play in the Super Bowl that went 9-7 in the regular season was the 1979 Rams. Expect that team to get calls from the Associated Press and have insight gleaned from them on what this Cardinals team is going through, since, y'know, they must know exactly what it's like for them.

6:12 — And ... I do believe I just heard my new editor scream in terror, and my old editor scream like a joyous belle.

6:09 — It's the two-minute warning, otherwise known as the Eagles' last chance at not losing another NFC Championship game. 4th and 10 yards that must look almost as long as, like, 26 yards.

6:09 — Crucial third down and .. what? We're not instructed to watch any shows on Fox?

6:06 — Celek hauls in the first down, and a checkdown to Westbrook gives the down marker guys more work, setting up another first down, just like the other one.

6:05 — Hell of a catch by Jackson on the sideline. (Remember, Jackson is hella skilled when catching the ball. It's just holding onto it near the end zone that gives him troubles.)

6:00 — Jehovah in a mason jar, that was probably the gutsiest screen pass in Arizona Cardinals history. Tim Hightower just barely fell into the end zone, and the 2-point toss to whats-his-face turns this back into a seven-point lead.

25 32

Wait, 32-25? What the hell kind of football score is that? Did we suddenly start playing by CFL rules?

5:58 — Yep, we're almost under three minutes to go. This suddenly became a game of who-has-it-last-wins. Although, maybe somebody shouldn't have given David Akers a Frank Caliendo CD before the game, because his Mike Vanderjagt impersonation for the last three quarters has been bang on.

5:56 — I'm not suggesting what the Arizona offense should do ... but there's probably too much time to do this, although with four minutes left, just run down as much clock as you can and kick a field goal. Well, Hightower just ran for a first down, setting up first and goal, so they're going to have to score this bitch for seven points. I'll shut up now.

5:56 — This just in (holds hand to ear): Larry Fitzgerald is good at catching footballs.

5:55 — Did ... Did Anquan Boldin just chew out his OC on the sidelines? Yeah, that'll go over well.

5:54 — It's an important football game, but what's more important is to have an in-game commercial for a new FOX crime drama. But see ... this lead character is just a misunderstood genius. It's not like the rest!

5:53 — Berman me: Tim "All Along The" Hightower finishes what he started on third down and the drive continues.

5:52 — After a couple solid chain-movin' plays, it's now 4th and inches at midfield. Yep, they have to go for it.

5:48 — This may not be the time to say it, but I think the Arizona Cardinals' helmet next year should mirror that of Otterbein University football's Cardinals logo:

5:47 — In more startling news, Joe Buck FINALLY beat a level of Minesweeper on Hard difficulty. Give him a round of applause!

5:45 — The 2-point play is both missed and penalized. No way was that going to count.

25 24

5:44 — I meant DeSean Jackson. I typed DeSean Jackson. YOU ALL SAW IT. My, what a jiggly juggling catch. I think my editor just had a DeSeangasm.

5:42 — Adrian Wilson just saved a touchdown from ... um ... touching down, by grabbing Jason Avant's leg and not letting go. Nonetheless, you can just sense the Eagles are probably going to get a touchdown on this drive, probably to Celek.

5:38 — Yeah, this'll do. Warner throws a ball perfectly equidistant between two Cardinals receivers. Now for a punt and a shot for Philly to take the (gasp) lead.

5:37 — All right, game. Be more interesting. Except for you, Joe Buck. You stay comatose. We don't want to have the slightest implication that you'd rather be playing FreeCell.

Third Quarter

5:33 — Kurt Warner finds Kurt Warner wide open in the backfield for a three-yard reception. That'll bring us to the 75-cent mark of the football game. (Currency jokes, they absolutely KILL at bat mitzvahs.)

5:32 — So Philadelphia has scored 13 unanswered points. That's also Kurt Warner's number. What I'm trying to say is that the government is spying on you.

5:29 — Ohh. That Brent Celek. The vanilla to Kevin Curtis's whole milk, Celek runs like a competent bullet for his second touchdown. Oh, but David Akers dumps the PAT to the right. Troy Aikman confirms that yes, THE LACES WERE OUT.

19 24

5:27 — If anyone can call a series of plays to get Philly within four points, it's Marty Mornh ... Mornhinw ... Marty Morrrrrrrorororor ... sorry, I CAN'T SAY IT.

5:21 — Here's that "turn of momentum" I've been hearing so much about. Three fantastic defensive pass rushes force a punt. Down by 11 points and a whole quarter-and-a-quarter-of-a-quarter left, the Eagles are now back in the game.

5:16 — Why does Tom Cruise have to kill Hitler when we already commissioned Daffy Duck to do that very task? Also, BUY WAR BONDS.

5:13 — After all that, Brent Celek is found openly open for the touchdown. Also, this is probably as good a time as any to ask: who's Brent Celek?

13 24

5:12 — New rule for the 2009 NFL season: I don't care if linemen dance after sacks and TFLs, but please don't orchestrate sex moves. It's not necessary.

5:11 — Hot steak. Kevin Curtis is the target of another long play. Eagles fans, your fate rests in those milky white hands. Massage them if you get the chance.

5:10 — Another sack. At this point McNabb has to smell like topographically-out-of-place grass.

5:08 — Wait, Marty Mornhinweg is the OC for the Eagles? And Cam Cameron is on the Ravens coaching staff? Shit, I guess the secret to getting deep into the playoffs is to run a franchise into the ground, then parlay that into an assistant job for another team.

5:07 — I'm going to take a wild stab at this and say the Eagles will be passing, like, every time from here on out. Wherever Ron Jaworski is right now, he's having trouble standing up.

5:04 — So while the truck companies continue to beat each other up, Guy Fieri runs unopposed. I had no idea I lived in Venezuela. (Guy Fieri, when translated from American-Italian to Italian-American, means "flaming male.")

5:02 — Shucks, a break for the Eagles finally arrives as a totally wide open Cardinals wideout is overshot on third down. So, the turnover is converted into a clean, renewable three-and-out. The environmentalists will be pleased.

4:56 — Well, fack. McNabb drops back ... now he just drops ... and the Cardinals sack the again-hated-by-his-own-fans quarterback and recover the fumble on a sort of important third down.

4:53 — So after a miraculous scramble by McNabb who eventually threw the ball to his 15th choice, his fullback, who ran down the sideline for a first, a holding call eliminates the entire thing from the play-by-play and everyone's mind. Now, please, look into this light:

Halftime Entertainment Of How Not To Pull Your Car Out Of A Snowbank

I can't say I'm the guy to ask on how to properly get your car out of snowbanks, considering I sort of drove into one last week. (I blame the other guy. I can't be expected to talk on the cell phone AND eat a cheeseburger AND turn my car all at once!) But even I know this was probably an ill-conceived idea in getting a car free from the snowy depths of a mound of white stuff.

Second Quarter

4:38 — Also, Jesus Christ the Cardinals are 30 minutes away from the Super Bowl. (That was true last year, but in proximity only.)

4:37 — Another how-is-he-not-covered pass to Boldin sets up a last-second first half field goal. From 49 yards, Rackers kicks well enough, don't you think?

6 24

4:35 — Good, they found footage of the Chicago Cardinals' home playoff game. I suddenly want to buy war bonds, and I don't know why.

4:34 — Uh, Eagles? You might still want to try and guard Larry Fitzgerald. Yeah, the game plan's still on. Don't mail it in just because Joe Buck is.

4:33 — On 3rd and 15 ... ah, no sweat, just throw a slant to Jerheme Urban and convert it. Wait ... Jerheme? That's not a name.

4:27 — Someone check that ball and Anquan Boldin's gloves for Velcro. That's simply mind-exploding that the ball tipped off the Eagles corner's hands and into Boldin's torso. Ah ... that's why. The ball actually hit the ground. This'll be called back, but still. For that catch to almost count astounds me and makes me wonder if I should start praying for my sports teams to start winning. Up to now I've only been using prayer to wish deformities on drivers who cut me off on the highway.

4:26 — With one point five minutes left, the Cardinals are not content on kneeling or even running this one out, despite having 85 yards in front of them to travel. Instead, it's a bubble screen that goes for two yards, turned to 17 with a roughing penalty.

4:21 — There, there's some intentional grounding to soothe the surprisingly fierce Arizona faithful. This is new for them; they're used to booing their own team.

4:19 — Cardinals fans are still steaming over that kickoff call. Cardinals fans also forgot about the 15-point lead, it seems.

4:17 — The ruling on the field is you cannot challenge the sacrosanct ruling of the referees. Also, we have a second half to play and we don't want our casual fans to flip over and watch some queer bowling tournament. Eagles ball. (Balled Eagles?)

4:15 — Fuckwillows. Did the Cardinals just recover that kickoff? Or did it go out of bounds? The replay looks like it was a perfectly untouched ball ... and an Arizona up-man recovered it. Perhaps it grazed Abiamiri's luscious pecks?

4:10 — After a P-I penalty on Asante Samuel, Warner throws the fade to Larry Fitzgerald. Hats for everyone!

6 21

4:08 — Many more happenings are going Arizona's way. It's now 1st and goal after that measurement. Oh, and now there's no illegal immigration problem in the state, and dehydration's a thing of the past.

4:05 — Did Joe Buck not recognize a drawing of Rodney Dangerfield?

4:04 — Kurt Warner sacrifices his body to hand the ball off to Edgerrin James. Seems that a lineman stepped on his foot, but maybe he was trying to chip block a rattlesnake.

4:02 — That seems ... out of place. John Turturro advertising for Heineken. I was kind of hoping they replaced him with Ralph Fiennes halfway through the commercial.

3:59 — Philadelphia bravely responds to that Cardinals touchdown by scoring less than half of a touchdown. If they keep this up they just might stay within the 28-point spread magically created in the heads of suddenly confident hardcore Cardinals fans.

6 14

3:55 — Ah, but defensive holding resuscitates the drive. Following that, Kevin Curtis runs by, well, everyone for about a 50-yard gain. Insert race joke here.

3:54 — Darnell Dockett sacks McNabb on 3rd and 1, and celebrates by ... hey, that's my move!

3:52 — Graphic montage of Chicagolouiszona Cardinals history: over 17 million fans have seen Cardinals games since their last championship home game. Well ... not 17 million different fans.

3:49 — Just so we're clear ... don't leave Fitzgerald out on single coverage. But, fantastic trick play by the Cardinals to isolate No. 11 downfield. The deception was the Cardinals looked like they were going to lose about five yards on the play. Also, Warner draws a 15-yard roughing-the-disciple penalty, which'll be added to the kickoff, like it matters.

3 14

3:46 — With Brent Celek unable to jump 10 feet in the air over Cardinals linebackers, Akers lines up for a field goal and does his finest Edward Longshanks impression. Cardinals football.

First Quarter

3:41 — At the end of the first quarter, Correll Buckhalter runs for a first down. Buckhalter was also Henry Paulson's nickname in college. True story.

3:38 — On the very next play, Greg Lewis tries to catch the ball but he tumbles and the ball falls through his legs for an incompletion. The bad news is it's 2nd and 10 for the Eagles and that could've been first and goal. The good news is that the Flyers are now interested in making him their new goalie.

3:37 — Oh, that might be my favorite play in football. An interception returned, fumbled, and given back to the offense. In all, it creates a new set of downs and pushes the Eagles back a few yards. Just knocking it down would have resulted in a punt.

3:35 — McNabb throws behind DeSean Jackson. Clearly that quarterback needs to be benched and then traded.

3:32 — Larry Fitzgerald, in stark contrast to recent legend, cannot escape five tacklers on third down. This leads to a ... a ... three and out?

3:29 — These futuristic Yellow Book commercials bother me. Apparently in ten years all our keyboards will be replaced with sign language. All bloggers will be deaf-mutes. And waving at someone in public could accidentally pull up a porn site in your web browser.

3:28 — Would anyone mind terribly if I ended this live blog right now so I could buy a Dodge truck?

3:26 — I was wondering how they were going to get a mention of the Manning brothers in the NFL playoffs. An Oreo commercial! Of course. But, levity! A pink blimp collapses on the Manning brothers and Williams sisters. Hey, I guess a championship can end tied.

3:24 — On third down, the Cardinals roll out their new technological invention, the Deflect-O-Bot X3000. McNabb's pass falls to the ground, and David Akers, one of seven octogenarian kickers still in the league, trims the lead to four with a field goal of medium proportions.

3 7

3:21 — Meanwhile, in actual football updates, the Eagles got a generous gift from area concierge Neil Rackers, whose out-of-bounds kickoff put them at the 40, and with a little love and a couple completions, they're already in or around the red zone.

3:19 — I still don't know what truck to buy. Hopefully these commercials will show me the light.

3:14 — So, if you remember Larry Fitzgerald from last week, the lesson is to cover him. In theory, that's a great idea. In practice, Larry Fitzgerald was left open and bounced off a tackling dummy in an Eagles uniform, and hops into the end zone, putting 'Zona into the lead with 9:20 left in the game. Any of the following songs began playing: "Song 2" by Blur (the "woo-hoo!" song), "Bang On The Drum All Day," or any number of 60s feel-good Motown tunes.

0 7

3:09 — Two minutes in, and the Cardinals are passing the ball rather well — they're past midfield. Anquan Boldin appears to have two functional legs, which is bad news for the Eagles secondary.

3:05 — I know they keep saying the Cardinals haven't hosted a championship game since the '40s. But that was two cities ago. I think the history for a team should burst into flames it wasn't at least one relocation ago. Else you'll get stats like, "The Pittsburgh Pirates haven't won 12 games in a row since 1784 when they were known as the Yorktown Landowners."

3:03 — Our first pickup-truck advertisement political ad comes courtesy of the Ford F-150, and Denis Leary approves this message.

3:00 — So, Jordin Sparks. I still don't know who she is. Right, she was on American Idol. Fact: half of America has been on that show. But no ... who is she?

Pre-Game Babble

Right, so after one honest attempt at live blogging in a new way, we're taking an Apple II 1984-style sledgehammer to the machine, and returning to the old method of liveblogging whose limitations I've already fallen in love with: one page, many updates, and even more refresh buttons.

Anyways, to the game. Know what this NFC Championship needs? Either Kurt Warner or Donovan McNabb to suffer a nonlethal injury, bringing in Matt Leinart or Kevin Kolb to pinch-throw in this game. I don't know, something tells me this game needs a dash of Leinart to solidify it as the craziest NFL playoff game in the Technicolor™ era of sports.

The question is how this injury will come about. An oncoming blitz resulting into a hard tackle seems to be a safe bet. Then, of course, there is the sleek, sexy "throwing hand hitting a helmet" occurrence. For this injury to truly cement itself into NFL Films lore, we need a truly stupefying boo-boo. How about food poisoning? Somebody ate a bad taco before the game and the quarterback keeps upchucking on the sidelines. Yeah, that'll work. Here's hoping.

Thanks to reader Mark McCarrell for throwing together that little image for us. I'm both amused and disturbed by the fact that you chose to use a photo of me dressed in drag and Leitch wearing a tuxedo, but I wont protest. Maybe it's a good omen. The last time the photo ran as part of a silly bet it worked out okay. The victory over the Giants this weekend just proved that the Eagles are playing on a different level than they have all season. Yeah, again — fuck you, camel.

Philadelphia has officially come around on this team that left for dead just a few short weeks ago. And with the Cardinals as the opponent, overconfidence is not in short supply. No, I will not overlook the plucky Buzzsaw and guarantee a victory on Sunday, but I will willingly take part in a Mayor's bet with the Emeritus that will definitely leave a mark. (Details on that will come Thursday.)

And look — Donovan's getting squirrely!:

“I’m gonna get ripped,” he said, looking over to teammates DeSean Jackson and Hank Baskett, and a few other amused players dressing nearby. “That is the story of my life. It’s something to talk about: ‘Donovan, what an idiot.’ ”

Another good thing about all this Eagles hoopla is the welcome return of Philadelphia's most nonsensical budding rap star, Monty Gee:

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Beware the over-friendly, lurking bear.

This isn't a popular Eagles team. There weren't incredibly high expectations in the beginning of November. Andy was all but gone. Donovan was benched. It was tear down, rebuild, and scatter the ashes from the Era of Almost in the wind. Yet, remarkably, it's back to the NFC Championship game for the 5th time.

Obviously this game takes on an odd personal and metaphorical significance this time around given the opponent. In some way, this is Baby Mangino versus Buzz Bissinger all over again. Thankfully, no votes will decide this outcome.

Congratulations to the Buzzsaw. This should be interesting.

-Buck announces that it's not quite as wind chilly as it was. Fuck you very much, Joe.

-The Giants receivers are really starting to run free, now Eli has to hit them.

-Oops, he hit Al Harris instead. But that should probably be an interference call.

-Check that, make it illegal contact. It's still Giants ball, but now it's first down.

-Elisha had his pass batted right back at him, but Collins yanked the quarterback down for the roughing call. Weeeeak.

-Plaxico strikes again. Eli released it before Plaxico turned in and the defense never had a chance. Has Plaxico been practicing or something?

-Jacobs takes the ball inside the five yard line. On that note, why does Joe Fuckhead think Jacobs is playing so poorly? 15 carries for 50 yards is nothing to criticize at this point in the game.

-Here's a 3rd and inches inside the two for the Giants. Jacobs picks up the first down, but not the touchdown before the ball came loose. The called it a fumble and a recovery by Boss, but I could have sworn I heard a whistle when his forward progress was halted. But what the fuck do I know?

-Now they just keep throwing flags. I need another fucking beer.

-STOPPING JUMPING THE COUNT YOU GINORMOUS ASSHOLES! I bet they didn't even move the ball on that second "half the distance to the goal" call.

-TOUCHDOWN, BRANDON JACOBS! Suck on that, Buck! Wait, I'm rooting for the Packers. FUCK!

New York 13 - Green Bay 10

-Big return for Tramond Williams! Green Bay will start their drive within striking distance of the end zone. Of course the last time they scored was from 90 yards out, so I guess they're always within striking distance. I'll stop now.

-Hey Michael Jordan, stop lumping yourself in with my man Mello to sell your shitty shoes. He's a good boy and you're a bad influence you evil fuck.

-Packers ball, first down Ryan Grant, who still exists.

-A brilliant personal foul penalty by Sam Madison gave the Pack a free first down and Favre responds with a pass to a wide open Donald Lee. Buck and Aikman seem to have Lee's third step confused with his second.

Green Bay 17 - 13 New York

-Another good return, this time by New York, sets Eli and company up to try to retake the lead. They should probably just throw to Plaxico over and over again.

-Ahmad Bradshaw picks up a first down with an easy trot through the Packers front seven.

-Eli hits Amani Toomer down the left sideline for a beautiful catch. They're challenging the catch, but they just showed a great angle of Toomers toes scraping the turf on his way down.

-Manning to Toomer once again. The Giants are inside the Green Bay five.

-TOUCHDOWN, AHMAD BRADSHAW! And we've got ourselves a shootout.

New York 20 - Green Bay 17

-Favre and Grant are bringing it right back at the Giants. The Packers have moved the ball up to midfield as we head towards the fourth.

-For some reason Favre heaves the ball downfield into triple coverage. Did he think it was the end of the second quarter? Damn you, opiates!

End of the Third Quarter

Start of Fourth Quarter

-Driver found a hole in the secondary and Favre delivered with ease. THey have a first down at the 30.

-INTERCEPTION, RW MCQUARTERS! On a truly awful play by the old Brett Favre, but IT'S FUMBLED AND RECOVERED BY GREEN BAY!

-First down for the Packers, and god damn are they lucky. They still have the ball and they're inside the 20.

-The drive ends there, but Mason Crosby ties it up with his second field goal.

Green Bay 20 - 20 New York

-Hixon delivers another good return and Crosby is forced into tackling duties. The Giants will start at their own 40. This is turning into quite a game, no?

-Plax cannot be contained. Does he know these are the playoffs? Can somebody remind him?

-The Giants could attempt the long field goal, or go for it. They elect the latter.

-Pass interference! Automatic first down for New York. Woodson got there a bit early and he hit Toomer in the head just a bit. The Giants are inside the thirty...almost intercepted by Al Harris at the goal line.

-After nothing happens the Giants miss a field goal, Packers take over.

-The Packers can't do anything with the ball, so they give it right back. We're just under the six minute mark and Joe Buck just mentioned the wind chill for the 29th time (approximation).

-New York is putting the ball in the hands of Brandon Jacobs and I can't say that I blame them. He just made an excellent run out of nothing to get within an inch of the first down mark. Manning sneaks it and they give him the first down. 4:40 left to play.

-Troy seems to think that the GIants are trying to run down the play clock despite the fact that the ball is at midfield and the game is tied. That's good analysis.

-Big third down sack by KGB, and the Pack will get it back with less than three minutes to play. This drive could hold some historic value one day.

-They're playing Kanye in Green Bay!

-FUMBLED AGAIN, BY RW MCQUARTERS! Boy does he suck a big dick! Green Bay had all sorts of shots at that one, but Hixon recovers it for the Giants. FIrst down inside of the 50.

-And the offenses are both going completely inept. 3rd and long for the Packers, and they barely get anything. Timeout New York, they'll get the ball back with 2:30 to play and they should have excellent field position.

-Bradshaw's running free, but it was assisted by a hold. No touchdown, 1st and 20 at their own 42 with the two minute warning approaching.

-mmm... chili

-Eli finds Steve Smith over the middle, great pass and a great catch to match it. First down, inside the Packers 40. Lawrence Tynes just lost all bowel control.

-Call me crazy, but I don't remember Archie looking away in terror when Peyton was in this position.

-And the day belongs to the rookies! Ahmad Bradshaw and Steve Smith do it all to get the Giants into position for the win. Lawrence Tynes is lining up from 36 yards for the win.

-Timeout

-BAD SNAP, THE KICK NEVER HAD A CHANCE! We've got OOOOO-VERTIME! Holy shitballs!

-Green Bay wins the toss, but statistically that doesn't mean all that much.

-My car doesn't return the favor. I think I'm doing it wrong.

-INTERCEPTION, COREY WEBSTER! And that pass was downright Favrian! The Giants are back in business and The Sports Guy is already penning the newest chapter in the Ewing Theory.

-Oy vey.

-Nothing doing for the Giants and it's Tynes Tyme again.

-FOR THE WIN....IT'S GOOD, GIANTS WIN!

Congratulations to the Giants and the Patriots, I'm sure two weeks of "Brady vs. Manning... no, the other Manning" stories won't make any of us want to stab ourselves in the throat. But hey, it's not Favre

I hope everyone enjoyed themselves, because that game was quite a bit of fun. Oh fuck, I forgot about Strahan. Oh well, at least Tiki can't get a ring and Shockey can't play. Fucking Giants.

Go Redskins.

Seriously though, I have to give it up to Eli, Plax, and pretty much everybody else. I never thought the Giants had anything resembling the makeup of a conference champion, but they certainly did it. So what do you say, let's set the line at Patriots -50.

Goodnight internet, it's been fun.

First Quarter

-Alright Eli, just try not to vomit.

-And he completes his first pass to Plaxico, who appears to be begging Al Harris not to touch him.

-Eli is is now 5/6 for 53 yards. Holy shit.

-Al Harris is trying to do everything he can to make Plaxico uncomfortable. Hey Al, try showing him your cock 'n balls!

-Manning goes to Kevin Boss in the endzone, but it wasn't to be. On 3rd down he nearly took a sack before nearly throwing an interception to a very large man. A near touchdown, a near sack, and a near pick all in two plays? Eli does it all!

-The field goal by Tynes is good and the Giants take an early three point lead, kind of like the underdogs in that last game...

New York 3 - 0 Green Bay

-The Packers put up a quick three-and-out and Eli's wishing he had more time to sip hot chocolate.

-Amani Toomer just dropped the easiest pass he'll get all day. It's like two weeks ago all over again. He must have a headache.

-Feagles looked like he got a decent amount of his boot on the punt, but it really didn't seem to go anywhere. In other news, I put on some socks but my feet are still a tad chilly... but I'm battling through it.

-Plaxico keeps reeling in catch after catch and Al Harris keeps talking shit. Despite this impressive defensive tactic, the Giants are moving the ball right down the field on the Packers.

-Hey, now David Tyree is misplaying passes. Tynes is lining up for another field goal, and he's got it.

New York 6 - 0 Green Bay

Second Quarter

-San Diego though they could settle for field goals.

-I hope Koren Robinson didn't fall off the wagon in between quarters.

-AND THERE GO THE PACKERS, TOUCHDOWN, DONALD DRIVER! Wow, he discarded of his man at the line of scrimmage and then just tore ass down the sideline. That was impressive to say the least.

Green Bay 7 - 6 New York

-They really came out of nowhere to score that 90 yard touchdown. The Giants best be responding right about now.

-The Green Bay secondary is getting ridiculously physical with the Giants receivers, and it ultimately results in a stop on 3rd down.

-But the Pack offense can't do anything with it, nice drop on third down there buddy.

-The Giants start their next possession backed up deep in their own territory, and the Packers are making it tough on them. Poppinga must have about 6 tackles by now. He's been everywhere it would seem.

-Manning got rocked on 3rd down and here comes Feagles. A 20-yarder won't help things much here, he needs to put the Packers back near their side of the field.

-And so it is, the Packers start at their own 47 yard line with an excellent chance to build on their lead.

-The Giants had a chance to get the ball back with a good amount of time left, but the Pack was bailed out by a big illegal contact call on Johnson. First down for Green Bay, perhaps they'll rediscover Ryan Grant.

-And they do! I'm all-knowing!

-No Joe Buck, that pass wasn't "slinged" it was "slung." That was a disgusting play call! Nice play though.

-I love that nobody even bothered to plow the streets in "downtown" Green Bay.

-Somebody needs to locate the New York fan who keeps screaming in proximity to a hot mic. Locate him, and destroy him.

-Greenland is icy and Iceland is green? Thanks for that little bit of third grade trivia, Mr. Buck.

-Antonio Pierce just busted up a screen like an old school strike-buster going through the Writer's Guild.

-The Packers settle for a field goal and Mason Crosby delivers.

Green Bay 10 - 6 New York

-If you'll excuse me, my girlfriends dog is barking because I won't scratch his belly. I'm just going to stick him in the microwave for a few seconds.

-The Giants don't seem to be in too much of a hurry, but with Plaxico they don't need to be. The big receiver makes his biggest catch of the day by far. With around a minute to play in the half the Giants are now in Packer territory with a real shot to take the lead back going into the half.

-Plax just got huge separation from Al Harris but he couldn't hold on as he hit the ground. That would have put them near the goal line. On the next play Eli runs instead of throwing it away. Does he know they don't have any timeouts. All of a sudden it doesn't look like they'll be getting anything out of this. 4th and 8, they can throw to the sideline and then kick a field goal.

-Instead it's a sack, and it's halftime.

Halftime Score: Green Bay 10 - 6 New York

...something tells me that Strahan and Favre wouldn't mind going into a neutral locker room for a few minutes of that tender, passionate, alone time.

I'll see you in about a half hour in an all-new post.