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La'el Collins Nearly Didn't Make It Out Of The Draft

Former LSU offensive lineman La’el Collins had one of the most bizarre NFL draft sagas in recent memory. A surefire first- or second-round pick, Collins’s status was upended when he was named in connection with the murder of his pregnant ex-girlfriend, Brittney Mills. A paternity test for Collins has since come back… » 5/15/15 2:20pm 5/15/15 2:20pm

Who Hugged Roger Goodell Longest At Last Night's NFL Draft?

Once again, last night’s first round of the NFL draft featured a number of large men embracing an obscenely rich one. As we do every year, we’ve measured each draftee’s hug time and measured it against his fellow rookies. This year, new Chargers running back Melvin Gordon took home the trophy with a time of 11.094… » 5/01/15 2:38pm 5/01/15 2:38pm

Chip Kelly Says He Never Wanted To Trade Sam Bradford, Is Probably Lying

The first round of the NFL draft ended up being kind of butt. There were no major trades, no truly shocking picks, and no players willing to step up and punch Roger Goodell in the dick. Our best chance at some excitement was always going to be Chip Kelly making a madman trade for a top pick, but even if he wasn’t able… » 5/01/15 10:19am 5/01/15 10:19am

What The Hell Is Going To Happen To La'el Collins Tonight?

Former LSU offensive lineman La’el Collins, who was on track to be a first-round pick in tonight’s NFL draft until this week, has yet to speak to Baton Rouge police who want to question him in relation to an ongoing murder investigation. Police say that Collins is not a suspect, but he won’t meet with them until after… » 4/30/15 5:49pm 4/30/15 5:49pm

Contest-Winning Browns Fan Insists He’s A Real Human

The Browns tweeted out the winner of their schedule challenge this morning, and when everyone clicked through to the lucky person, they found a bunch of spammy-looking links. So, everyone believed a spambot won the contest. The Browns deleted the congratulatory tweet, and the internet made fun of them for being the… » 4/30/15 5:05pm 4/30/15 5:05pm

Chicago News Station Flawlessly Impersonates Miserable Jets Fans

Since the NFL draft’s not in New York City this year, Jets fans will have to travel to do their traditional booing of the first-round pick. (Is it tradition, or has every first-round pick just been that terrible?) Local news station WGN-TV pretended to be Jets fans, and heckled everyone in Chicago, including but not… » 4/30/15 3:05pm 4/30/15 3:05pm

Something Weird Is Going On With Randy Gregory

By every account Nebraska pass rusher Randy Gregory is an NFL talent, and based on football skills alone, deserves to go early in tomorrow’s first round. But reports citing multiple scouts and team executives indicate he’s rapidly sliding down draft boards, with some teams prepared to pass on him altogether. The… » 4/29/15 4:10pm 4/29/15 4:10pm