• Tampa Bay has a huge divisional game this afternoon against Atlanta, but they'll be without Jeff Garcia thanks to a bum calf. Brian Griese will get the start for the Bucs who need a win to hold off the 8-5 Falcons. Luke McCown was being considered for the starting role before it was decided that Griese is the significantly less crappy option.

• Frank Gore is out today (oh fuck, I think I have him in my lineup) so DeShaun Foster will get the bulk of the carries for San Francisco.

• Daunte Culpepper is officially out for the Lions, but if you were counting on him for your fantasy team then you probably didn't have much of a chance to begin with. Dan Orlovsky will be the one heaving the ball in the general direction of Calvin Johnson.

• Ced Benson is slotted to start today in Cincinnati against a tough Redskins defense (minus standout rookie Chris Horton), but you should see what he could be doing if he were still in Chicago! Dumbfuck.

• The Tennessee defensive line will be shorthanded because Kyle Vanden Bosch will be out once again this week. The good news is that LenDale White is expected to play in all of his puffy glory.

• Vernon Gholston has been deactivated presumably because he's amassed a staggering 4 solo tackles thus far this season. Seriously, he's been fucking useless. Blame Larry David.

• Adam Schefter is speculating that Sam Bradford could very well be Detroit bound (he's getting all the breaks!) despite the facts that Bradford, a third year sophomore, has yet to announce his future plans. But yes, they do enjoy the occasional Heisman winner, and if for some reason he does go back to school they can just take him number one in 2010. Schefter also reports that Rich McKay could be the man running Detroit's draft. Princeton men like McKay and Bill Ford Jr. always stick together. Shit, they might even start an acapella group or an eating club. Perhaps they could even hire Jason Garrett away from Dallas!

• Here are today's coverage maps for those of us without DirecTV.

Enjoy the games, and I'll be back with some updates at the half.

• Spinal Surgery Is Scheduled for Williams. Harry Williams, a second year receiver for the Houston Texans, has regained "almost normal neurologic function" and he's now awaiting surgery to repair the fractured vertebrae he sustained after colliding with a teammate in last night's pre-season game against the Cowboys. Here's wishing the young man a speedy and full recovery after the scary injury.

• McNasty. Donovan McNabb put together a stellar performance in his most extensive action of the pre-season, and DeSean Jackson continued his eye-opening play. The rookie receiver from Cal returned a punt for a touchdown in addition to leading the Eagles with 67 receiving yards on four catches. Tom Brady sat out the game for the Patriots so that he could continue resting his sore foot while massaging Giselle's aching breasts. Or so I imagine.