The PLAYOFF Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals

Of all the pictures taken during The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals' NFC West-clinching "win" over the St. Louis Rams on Sunday, that one there is my favorite. It is somehow perfect that, when the Arizona Cardinals won their first division championship since 1975 (the year I was born!), the most sophisticated… » 12/09/08 12:29pm 12/09/08 12:29pm

Newspapers Are Revelant And Helpful, Particularly If You Like Ike

On Thanksgiving morning, I picked up a copy of the Columbus (Ga.) Ledger-Enquirer, the daily paper round those parts. I did it out of habit; I was eating an English muffin and needed something to do with my other hand. Whatever your thoughts about the newspaper industry, I think we can all agree that it's easier to… » 12/02/08 12:30pm 12/02/08 12:30pm

Have Sex The Fundamentalist Way, Minus The Robes

The most fascinating story I read all week, without question, was this New York Times story » 11/25/08 1:30pm 11/25/08 1:30pm about Rev. Ed Young in Grapevine, Tx. encouraging his parishioners to have sex with each other. Life's gotta be pretty dull for a preacher sometimes — "Lord, forgive me, but if I have to give another endless homily about the…

Chinese Democracy, 15 Years Down, Five Days To Go

Of all the Guns 'N Roses stories, the "Rocket Queen" one is my favorite. When "Appetite For Destruction" was recorded, the moaning sounds on the album's closer (which might be my favorite G'N'R song, actually), were captured while Adriana Smith, a 19-year-old stripper who had been dating drummer Steven Adler, was … » 11/18/08 1:00pm 11/18/08 1:00pm

Barack Obama Will Not Take Away Your Ties Or Your Hair

I don't remember where I saw it, but about a year-and-a-half ago, in one of those "Hey, there's a cool black guy running for President!" stories, the writer posited that Barack Obama, if he were to somehow win (crazy!), would have something immediately in common with John F. Kennedy: He could destroy a famed aspect of… » 11/11/08 1:00pm 11/11/08 1:00pm

Election Night: An Excuse To Stay Up Past 8:30

Well, it's here. When I was a kid, Election Night was one of the few nights of the year I was allowed to stay up past 8:30. (Seriously, my bedtime was 8:30 until I was a freshman in high school. And you wonder why I still wet the bed.) I never knew who any of the candidates were, or even what the "D" and the "R" next… » 11/04/08 12:30pm 11/04/08 12:30pm

The Machines Shall Rise, And All Will Fall

All right, so the world is imploding. You know this. I know this too, though only because the Wassup Guys told me » 10/28/08 12:30pm 10/28/08 12:30pm. Surely, these are the last days, before the global apocalypse rids the planet of humans and leaves only some cockroaches, a few stray strands of hair and, of course, , because Kermit is an indestructible…

It's Obama And McCain ... AFTER DARK!

So over the weekend, the two candidates for President — Sen. Barack Obama, head of a Muslim sleeper cell, and Sen. John McCain, organizer of the first Hanoi chapter of the Ku Klux Klan — spoke at the Al Smith Dinner » 10/21/08 12:30pm 10/21/08 12:30pm, a big Catholic charity event held in Manhattan right before the elections every year. Each of them…

You Should Probably Stop Having Birthday Parties When You're 11

I turned 33 over the weekend. There's something inherently sad about a single 33-year-old man hosting his own birthday party. I remember when my father turned 33; I was 11. It was my parents, my sister and myself eating tacos and watching the Cardinals game. That was pretty fun. I've had birthday bashes pretty much… » 10/14/08 12:30pm 10/14/08 12:30pm

Oh, For The Days Of Rape And Murder Questions At Debates

The second Presidential debate is tonight, coinciding, quite helpfully, with the first night off of the baseball postseason. I spend about 45 percent of my workday reading political blogs from all sides of the spectrum, some conservative, some (OK, more) liberal, and absolutely none written by that theoretical and… » 10/07/08 12:30pm 10/07/08 12:30pm

David Foster Wallace, The St. Louis Rams And You

Before we get started, I'd like to say something about David Foster Wallace. David Foster Wallace, Illinois' own, is the best writer I've ever read who I found completely unreadable. I don't mean his non-fiction stuff » 9/16/08 12:00pm 9/16/08 12:00pm that had the benefit of editors who, strangely, had a desire for people who read their magazine to…