All Hail The Great Kerry Collins

Tiny tidbits and news niblets from the final week of the NFL season ...

• It sure is nice seeing Kerry Collins back, isn't it? Remember when Kerry Collins was a big controversial figure? He got DUIs before it was cool to get DUIs. Collins has been around longer than you realize; he actually took over for Frank Reich, for crying out loud. Vince Young should be fine for the playoff game next week, which is kind of a shame; it might have been fun to see Collins' goofy arm hitch in the playoffs one more time. Not that we have much hope for the Titans anyway; when Kerry Collins is your savior, not even facing Norv Turner will be enough to keep you around long.

Belichick Bores You Simply Because He Can

Tiny tidbits and news niblets from Week 16 of the NFL ...

• You want to know the real genius of Bill Belichick? (Other than that hair.) It's that he has somehow made his team's games boring at the very moment we should be reveling in their streak toward history. The last two Patriots have been mostly uninspiring slogs ... and he seems to have designed it that way. Fortunately, the season finale will be on the NFL Network, so no one will have to watch it.

Dolphins Win! HOLY COW The Dolphins Win!

Notes and info smidgens from Week 14 in the NFL. ...

• We try to explain to people how we could possibly remain a fan of the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals despite the team having made the playoffs once in the last 25 (soon to be 26) years. We can only say that the job of winning, in the world of the NFL anyway, outweighs the pain of losing. In baseball, loses can pile up on a nightly basis, pummeling you into a state of resignation. But in the NFL, it still means something to win one game. Even if it's just one.

Enough With The "Guarantees" Already

Notes and info smidgens from Week 14 in the NFL. ...

• There's an excellent story in the new Atlantic Monthly about Barack Obama. Whether or not you're a supporter of Obama, it makes the compelling argument that Obama is the only candidate who can get us over our tired obsession with the '60s and the baby boomers. This happens in the sports world as well; thanks to Joe Namath, every sportswriter over 45 gets their proverbial panties in a twist anytime someone "guarantees" a victory. An athlete is just talking when he "guarantees" a victory; it doesn't mean anything, and he's hardly making some big statement. We'd love to see some enterprising person do a compilation of the "guarantees" over the last 25 years, and see what the winning percentage is. Joe Namath got lucky in Super Bowl III, and no one man, especially in football, can "guarantee" anything. Yet it becomes an easy, banal way to inject a "storyline" and assure a simple, boring angle. Can we let the guarantee thing go, please? Just because you had a picture of Joe Namath on your wall as a kid doesn't mean we have to pretend a guarantee means anything, at all.

Overtime and Gambling Make Wonderful Bedfellows

Todd Collins and the Early NFL Action

Winslow Soldiers A Catch, But You Didn't See It, And It Didn't Happen

Tiny tidbits and info smidgens from Week 13 of the NFL ...

• We know, the Buzzsaw are now 6-6 and holding on to the final wild-card spot in the NFC, but seriously now: That was a catch by Kellen Winslow at the end of the game, and the Browns should have won. We have never understood the notion that any play in football isn't "reviewable" by instant replay. Sure it's reviewable; we just watched it, and totally reviewed it. Kellen Winslow was pushed out of bounds; if there had been no one there, he would have landed in bounds. The replay clearly shows that. So why can't we rely on the replay again? (Still: We are not complaining. Tied for the wild-card in Week 13? Woo!)

Grossman Heroically Leads Bears To Another Victory

Tidbits and info smidgens from Week 12 in the NFL ...

• We kind of love that Rex Grossman got so excited after the Bears' bizarre win over the Broncos yesterday. It was a vintage Bears game; Only one offensive touchdown, an inspiring 17-for-33 day for Grossman, Cedric Benson with 47 yards and ... oh, two Devin Hester touchdowns. (This has led to a new KSK character.) And after the game, Grossman was jumping around like he'd just pulled off the Flutie Heave. Do you think he went home and told everyone, "I won the game! I got the Bears back on track!" and everyone just has to smile and nod and try to look away without giggling? We'll say it one more time: Bring Back Orton.

All This Controversy, You'd Think They Got The Call Wrong

Tidbits and info smidgens from Week 10 in the NFL ...

• Forgive us if we spare you the "outrage" over the ending of the Browns-Ravens game yesterday. It certainly seems like the NFL reviewed a play they weren't supposed to be able to review, which, you know, is fine, because it's right. The fact that a particular play is officially "not reviewable" is stupid; we assure you, it's reviewable; we just reviewed it, right now. You can't stop us. The call was correct. Who cares about the boring protocols? We're going to have to deal with three or four days this week of, essentially, a bunch of people arguing about linguistics in the user's manual. Yawn. The right call ended up being made, and the whole play looked cool to boot. Can we move on?

Troy Aikman Gets Something Right

Peyton Apologists Scramble to Prepare For Monday

Carson Palmer Goes Long

It's Vinatieri's Turn To Be The Lonesome Kicker

Tidbits and info smidgens from Week 10 in the NFL ...

• A little part of us has always thought that Colts kicker Adam Vinatieri should have retired after the last Patriots Super Bowl. Kicking is a weird business, and sometimes people lose all their abilities for no apparent reason. (We remind you that Mike Vanderjagt, exactly one year ago, was the most accurate field goal kicker in NFL history. He is now out of the league.) Vinatieri could have been a hero forever, a Hall of Famer. Now he is subject to the winds of fate — even those indoor, dome winds of fate — that any kicker is subject to. Sorry, Adam.

Patriots Fail to Cover Spread, Claim Hollow Victory

Evil Or Not, The Patriots Are Out Of Control

Tiny tidbits from Week 8 of the NFL season.

• We're of two minds on next week's Patriots-Colts game, for which, we apologize, we are already contributing to the endless hype you're going to be sick of by Wednesday. On one hand, it might be pleasant to see the Patriots put in their place a bit after yesterday's Exhibit R in their quest for Spurrier Hell status. On the other hand, a Patriots win might lead to column by Gregg Easterbook about how the planet is about to burst into a plume of dust. It's a tough call.

Didn't You Used To Be Eric Mangini?

Tiny tidbits from Week 7 of the NFL Season ...

• Many people expected the Jets to fall back a bit this season, even if their team itself improved; last year had its fair share of luck, luck you couldn't expect to return. But, man, 1-6? The Jets look like a team that's worse off than they were during the Herman Edwards era — and we note that the Chiefs have a winning record right now. Coach Eric Mangini has watched everything fall apart since SpyGate; we wonder if he would do it over again, if he could. But hey: He still has that game in Foxboro to look forward to!

Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Everywhere

News And Notes From Week 6 In the NFL

• We're not going to harp on this, because it's just going to make us upset, but with a chance to go to 4-2 and have a full game lead in the NFC West ... the Buzzsaw lost to the Vinny Testaverde yesterday. And the Kurt Warner injury didn't make all that much difference; they'd have lost if he played as well. The NFC West winner very well might be under .500 this year.

Joey Harrington, Franchise Killer