• Randy Moss Has A Chip On His Shoulder. Odd. "I don't know why coach disrespected me like that, but I'm who I am, and I love to do what I do. And anytime I feel disrespected then I want to get out there and make it happen. And I think they disrespected me today by only playing me single coverage."

• Is That What's Supposed To Happen? Arizona Cardinals' Neil Rackers attempts a 68-yard free kick field goal against he Giants. Wackiness ensues. [New York Times]

Oh, and T.O. says he wants the ball more. Another scoop for Deion!

• Browns Want Cowher Power. They're 4-6, profane emails are flying all over the place and staph infections are running rampant. Who better to pull the Browns out of their current morass than Bill Cowher, who can defeat bacteria with his menacing stare alone? "Per the source, the Browns are willing to give Cowher a contract worth $8 million to $9 million per year." [Pro Football Talk]

• All Signs Point To Go. Brady Quinn was examined by a hand specialist on Thursday, and has been declared fabulous, plus OK to play on Sunday against the Texans. Quinn complained of soreness during Wednesday's practice and was found to have a slightly fractured pinky on his throwing hand. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

• Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! ... Jerry Jones takes part of the responsibility for Pacman Jones' suspension. "Yes, I do take responsibility for the fact that it was my own security that the issue was part of," Jones said. "Because it was my guy there that created the problem. ... The way that it was supposed to work in my mind, to some degree, we wouldn't have had that problem." [USA Today]

• Just Call Him Hanging Chad. The Cincinnati Bengals deactivated receiver Chad Ocho Cinco for tonight's game against the Steelers, so adjust your fantasy rosters accordingly. The reason: Violating a team rule. That takes in a LOT of territory, especially when you're talking about Ocho. But that's all the team's saying. T.J. Houshmandzadeh will get even more catches, I suppose. [NBCSports]

• Oh Sweet Merciful Baby Jesus, Make It Stop. Speculation has resumed about Brett Favre's retirement plans, according to the New York Post, which writes: "This offseason figures to contain plenty of drama surrounding Favre's future." For his part, Favre says he "has absolutely no idea" if he's coming back. [New York Post]

• Role Model, Indeed. Spotting a homeless man outside of a Cinemark Theatre in Dallas, Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo paid for the guy to come inside and sit with him and a friend for the movie. The featured selection? Role Model. Bonus quote: Romo, who confirmed the story but didn't want to elaborate, waved Doc over to sit by him and his friend. Doc sheepishly mentioned that he hadn't showered in a few days. "Don't worry about that," Romo said. "I'm used to locker rooms." [Dallas Morning News]

• X-box, Here I Come. Terrell Owens reports flu-like symptoms, Dallas Cowboys excuse him from practice on Wednesday. This can't be considered bad news for the 49ers, who play the Cowboys on Sunday. [Star Telegram]

• Driver's Father In Trouble. The father of Green Bay Packers receiver Donald Driver was involved in an altercation with Houston police on Wednesday and is in the hospital, family members said. Police said Driver was arrested for outstanding traffic warrants and was found to be "unresponsive" upon his arrival at jail. Paramedics transported him to the hospital, they said. Key graph from story: As they beat him and forced him to swallow something, the officers told Marvin Driver Jr. he was "going to see Jesus," according to relatives and community activist Quanell Evans, who identified himself as Quanell X.

“I feel like they’re writing my legacy,” Young said. “They’re writing my story. I’m a great guy, a great humble guy. I’ve done a whole lot in my career in just three years and for [the media] to do stuff like that to try to make me look bad for some reason — I don’t know why — but they’re just writing my legacy.”

I know who I am, everyone knows who I am as a person. They know good and well, I ain’t trying to commit suicide or all that kind of crap. It was just a story everybody wanted to write. It was hot and everybody need to make their money, feed their viewers. I always get the bad end but I just brush that off and use that as motivation for myself.”

Young also said that there's no animosity between himself and starter Kerry Collins, whom he calls "5," and that he's been nothing but supportive of Collins. So, sounds like all is well with Vince Young. Nothing can possibly go wrong for him from here on out. Nope. [NBCSports]

• Rookie Hazing Of Colt Brennan Brought To You By Antwaan Randle El. And now, the musical stylings of Redskins' quarterback Colt Brennan, which does nothing to answer the question: If Brennan is going through the hazing, why are we the ones who have to suffer? Do Ho would not have approved. [Mouthpiece Sports]

• Who's In Your Favre Five? If Brett Favre would get off the phone with Tony Romo for one minute, he'd see that Aaron Rodgers also needs some words of encouragement. Oh, he's being brave and pretending that he doesn't, but don't let that fool you. Call him, Brett. [USA Today]

• Tom Brady — Crutch Performer. Only TMZ would hang out at a hospital to get video of Tom Brady on crutches. [TMZ]

• Intervention: Adam Jones Edition. Pacman Jones uses his "vacation" from the Cowboys to begin alcohol treatment today at an undisclosed location in the Dallas area. The good news: The Associated Press reported that Jones will not have his probation revoked in Georgia as a result of the altercation in a Dallas hotel last week. [Dallas Morning News]

• Wait, Someone Wants To Join The Raiders? Former Raiders receiver Tim Brown wants to come out of retirement and "lead the Raiders back to respectability." Good luck with that. [NBCSports]

• The Truth Is Out There. Now it can be revealed: Peyton Manning's mysterious second knee surgery. What else are you hiding, Peyton? [USA Today]

• It sure is nice seeing Kerry Collins back, isn't it? Remember when Kerry Collins was a big controversial figure? He got DUIs before it was cool to get DUIs. Collins has been around longer than you realize; he actually took over for Frank Reich, for crying out loud. Vince Young should be fine for the playoff game next week, which is kind of a shame; it might have been fun to see Collins' goofy arm hitch in the playoffs one more time. Not that we have much hope for the Titans anyway; when Kerry Collins is your savior, not even facing Norv Turner will be enough to keep you around long.

• Honestly, it really has been the worst sports year for Cleveland. It's downright wrong; that city has been cursed with just enough hope to make the disappointments really hurt. But hey, look who got some minutes yesterday!

• No offense to Vikings fans, but we're more excited to see the Redskins in the playoffs than the Vikes. Yep: We have Todd Collins fever. We bet they beat the Seahawks, by the way.

• Everyone in Detroit is chattering that Mike Martz is going to be fired. No Super Bowl losing coach has dropped as far as Martz since, who, Bill Callahan? It's a shame Nebraska, just to be funny, can't hire Martz as its next coach.

• Apparently Marv Levy is leaving Buffalo. That makes us extremely sad; we wanted him to be there until he was 103.

• The Buzzsaw finished 8-8. Mock us if you will, but we'll absolutely take it. That's the first non-losing season in a decade. Just in time for Leinart to return and screw it all up next year.

(CORRECTION: Kerry Collins did not take over for Frank Reich. That was Todd Collins. So many Collinses! We apologize.)

• You want to know the real genius of Bill Belichick? (Other than that hair.) It's that he has somehow made his team's games boring at the very moment we should be reveling in their streak toward history. The last two Patriots have been mostly uninspiring slogs ... and he seems to have designed it that way. Fortunately, the season finale will be on the NFL Network, so no one will have to watch it.

• We're not going to get into the Packers-Bears game yet ... because we're still too stunned. Such honor to be bestowed in this game ... it's getting its own post later, because someone totally deserves it.

• What a novel concept: When the Giants don't count on Eli Manning to do anything, they win. It's a shame, though; we had been secretly rooting for a Giants collapse. It's hard to turn down yearly collapses from a New York sports team; people completely lose their minds.

• Not a good day for Derek "Horse Balls" Anderson; we're begging them to win this week, because we'd so rather see the Browns in the playoffs than the Titans. No chance for a home game, sadly. If the Browns end up missing the playoffs, do they keep Anderson around for next year, or do they suck it up and do the Quinn handoff? Brady Quinn danceparty, everybody!

• Jamarcus Russell fever, like catch it ... like you can.

• We haven't checked with Drew today ... but we can't imagine Vikings fans are doing backflips. That potential Washington-Seattle first round game seems awfully scary for a Seahawks fan. And if they won that — if they make it, of course — we could have a Redskins-Cowboys playoff game. Excellent.

• We suppose we should be displeased that Arizona won yesterday; it could hurt the draft pick business. But we go through this every year, and we always root for the Buzzsaw late, long after they've been eliminated from the playoffs. (By the way, that 49ers game officially cost them a spot. Grr.) But the Buzzsaw can be at .500 for the first time in nearly a decade with a win next week. Baby steps.

• We try to explain to people how we could possibly remain a fan of the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals despite the team having made the playoffs once in the last 25 (soon to be 26) years. We can only say that the job of winning, in the world of the NFL anyway, outweighs the pain of losing. In baseball, loses can pile up on a nightly basis, pummeling you into a state of resignation. But in the NFL, it still means something to win one game. Even if it's just one.

Therefore, we absolutely understand FinsNation's euphoria after the Dolphins' first victory yesterday.

My feet still haven't touched the ground. My throat is raw and scratchy. My voice is shot. I sound like Jennifer Tilly after several rounds of scotch and cigarettes at a Poker tournament. Myself, and everyone around me, are acting like we're in a Dr. Pepper commercial. My brain still can't wrap around the idea that, yes goddamit!!, we fucking won a game!

Rock on! 1-15, or death!

• Speaking of our Buzzsaw ... well, we can't really speak of our Buzzsaw yet, except to say home games against Atlanta and St. Louis to finished went from Holy Crap We're So Lucky (because two wins could mean playoffs) to Jesus Christ They're Gonna Hurt Our Draft Spot next year (after the error-plagued loss to the New Orleans yesterday). It was kind of fun seeing Kurt Warner get into a fight on the sidelines, though.

• We're gonna talk more about this later on, but it must be noted early: This might end up as the most frustrating fantasy football season of all time. We'll explain later, but, frankly, we assume you already know what we're talking about.

• Sometimes, we wish all football games were played under the conditions of the Bills-Browns game. It's the only thing that could have made that Jets-Pats more interesting. All salute Bill Belichick, by the way; the guy can do whatever he wants now, even if what he wants is to dull up the most hyped game of the year simply because he can.

• After watching the Giants game, that impending Seahawks-Giants playoff game is going to be eminently skippable, if you're the type of jerk who skips playoff games.

• We'll admit it: We're rooting for the Browns to overtake the Steelers. Jeez, how could we not?

• There's an excellent story in the new Atlantic Monthly about Barack Obama. Whether or not you're a supporter of Obama, it makes the compelling argument that Obama is the only candidate who can get us over our tired obsession with the '60s and the baby boomers. This happens in the sports world as well; thanks to Joe Namath, every sportswriter over 45 gets their proverbial panties in a twist anytime someone "guarantees" a victory. An athlete is just talking when he "guarantees" a victory; it doesn't mean anything, and he's hardly making some big statement. We'd love to see some enterprising person do a compilation of the "guarantees" over the last 25 years, and see what the winning percentage is. Joe Namath got lucky in Super Bowl III, and no one man, especially in football, can "guarantee" anything. Yet it becomes an easy, banal way to inject a "storyline" and assure a simple, boring angle. Can we let the guarantee thing go, please? Just because you had a picture of Joe Namath on your wall as a kid doesn't mean we have to pretend a guarantee means anything, at all.

• Now that the Buzzsaw playoff hopes are petty much kaput, our eyes go to the Vikings, who should probably have Tampa Bay and Seattle jockeying to play Eli Manning and the Giants in the first round of the playoffs than them. Oh, and that Patriots' first-round pick next year got a little better yesterday.

• Can the Dolphins really keep Cam Cameron around after an 0-16 season? Just leave our Zook alone, Miami.

• It kind of charming to see Brock Berlin taking snaps in an NFL game. There's gotta be on more comeback left for Ryan Leaf, right? Christ, just bring back Jeff George! At least it'll be entertaining, and we'll have another mustache.

• We will never understand what the heck Coach Mangenious was pulling off at the end of that Jets-Browns game. He tried three onside kicks in the matter of three minutes, and all at the exact opposite time you'd expect. We think this season might have caused him to lose his mind. Hope someone's got tape of it!

• Fuck you, fine me! The league told Terrance Newman that he better be on his best behavior this week after he joked about taking a shot at Jon Kitna, but apparently they didn't CC DeMarcus Ware on the memo. Ware wrapped up Kitna after a pass and attempted to make him one with the field turf. The refs called the penalty and Jon Kitna either turned the other cheek or took an eye for an eye, depending on which Bible on tape he's listening too inside of that helmet. Regardless, the Lions are putting points on the board and they've got Dallas on their heels. Miraculously, they're doing it with the running game! Kevin Jones and TJ Duckett (who is alive) have both scored. The Cowboy offense has come to life thanks to two scores from Marion Barber.Detroit 20 - 14 Dallas

Note: FanHouse has video of the hit.

• There's still hope! Oh those poor fucking Dolphins. It took just two passes before John Beck was replaced by Cleo Lemon, but I don't think that's going to help matters. Buffalo is absolutely throttling Dolphins and all of that snow certainly can't be helping. Somehow Robert Royal has managed to catch two passes, each going for a touchdown. Cleo Lemon has thrown two interceptions but he did manage to complete a heave to Ted Ginn Jr. Buffalo 31 - 7 Miami

• Go Sage! For some reason I've felt compelled to bet on the Texans an inordinate number of times this season. This week I was counting on a big Channukah performance from Sage Rosenfels and he is not disappointing. Houston's quarterback has completed 16 of 21 passes including two touchdowns (Johnson and Walter). Luke McCown is playing for the banged up Bucs and he's actually playing quite a bit better than his brother Josh over in Green Bay. Houston 21 - 14 Tampa Bay

• We know, the Buzzsaw are now 6-6 and holding on to the final wild-card spot in the NFC, but seriously now: That was a catch by Kellen Winslow at the end of the game, and the Browns should have won. We have never understood the notion that any play in football isn't "reviewable" by instant replay. Sure it's reviewable; we just watched it, and totally reviewed it. Kellen Winslow was pushed out of bounds; if there had been no one there, he would have landed in bounds. The replay clearly shows that. So why can't we rely on the replay again? (Still: We are not complaining. Tied for the wild-card in Week 13? Woo!)

• Do Buffalo fans feel bad that their team ruined the all-set-up Redskins overcoming adversity with victory story? We doubt it; they've had enough heartache themselves. We're not sure why the Redskins are honoring Sean Taylor's memory any less by losing, really.

• The Dolphins definitively have the look of a team that will go winless. It's kind of exciting to watch; we wonder if John Beck will be the NFL's equivalent of Jeremy Bonderman, a guy who has a historically bad rookie season and matures into a decent player.

• Drew put it exactly right last week, concerning, "Philly crowd's affinity for inconsistent white quarterbacking over inconsistent black quarterbacking." We can get over the A.J. Feeley thing now, right? Meanwhile, the Seahawks are setting themself up for a No. 3 seed in the NFC, which also tells you all you need to know about the NFC.

• Eli Manning is keeping the Giants just afloat enough to make the ultimate collapse that much more entertaining and devastating.

• Actually, all you need to know about the NFC is this: If they Vikings make the playoffs, they might be Dallas' most dangerous competition.

• We kind of love that Rex Grossman got so excited after the Bears' bizarre win over the Broncos yesterday. It was a vintage Bears game; Only one offensive touchdown, an inspiring 17-for-33 day for Grossman, Cedric Benson with 47 yards and ... oh, two Devin Hester touchdowns. (This has led to a new KSK character.) And after the game, Grossman was jumping around like he'd just pulled off the Flutie Heave. Do you think he went home and told everyone, "I won the game! I got the Bears back on track!" and everyone just has to smile and nod and try to look away without giggling? We'll say it one more time: Bring Back Orton.

• It's downright comforting to see the Giants collapsing in the second-half of the season. It's a rite of November passage. Like watching leaves turn, or Isiah Thomas saying everything's going to plan. We're pretty sure it happened because Peyton was there watching. We bet he enjoyed it more than he'll ever admit too.

• Don't know if anybody caught this post-Patriots win, but if you saw it, Andrea Kremer's postgame interview with Wes Welker was awfully amusing. In the middle of it, Welker said, "Coach is calling me over, and he's the one man I hold over you." And he left. Al Michaels then says: "Coming, Mommy." Sounds about right.

• We imagine Merrill Hoge just dancing around Bristol today, reminding everyone how right he was about Vince Young. On days Young plays well, we suspect Hoge calls in sick.

• Has any quarterback ever received more playing time for doing less than David Carr? Yesterday, he was benched for Matt Moore, whoever the hell that is.

• Browns fever, friends: The legend of Horse Balls continues.

• We are absolutely not ready to talk about that Buzzsaw game yet. Maybe later.

• Forgive us if we spare you the "outrage" over the ending of the Browns-Ravens game yesterday. It certainly seems like the NFL reviewed a play they weren't supposed to be able to review, which, you know, is fine, because it's right. The fact that a particular play is officially "not reviewable" is stupid; we assure you, it's reviewable; we just reviewed it, right now. You can't stop us. The call was correct. Who cares about the boring protocols? We're going to have to deal with three or four days this week of, essentially, a bunch of people arguing about linguistics in the user's manual. Yawn. The right call ended up being made, and the whole play looked cool to boot. Can we move on?

• With Kevin Everett addressing his Bills in a pregame message last night, we can't imagine what the atmosphere in Ralph Wilson Stadium must have like. A downright inspirational night. Which makes those repeated going-for-it-on-Fourth-And-One while having a 30 point lead that much more entertaining. Sorry, we agree with Simmons: Having the Patriots around does make the NFL more enjoyable, particularly when someone knocks them on their ass. Though we suppose that will have to actually happen.

• The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals is still one game behind the apparently competent Seattle Seahawks, but here's their schedule the rest of the way: Home against San Francisco, Cleveland, Atlanta and St. Louis, Road against Seattle and New Orleans. Four wins out of those should get them in the playoffs, which is exactly where Peter King predicted yesterday. Which means it's probably not happening now.

• You know, for a brief moment, we were actually kind of excited to see Detroit playing on Thanksgiving for once. Oops.

• So here would be a great irony: The Chargers stumble into the playoffs at 9-7, thanks to their lousy division, and suddenly Norv Turner drives the team through a series of upsets and wins the Super Bowl. Won't happen, obviously, but it's fun to think of a scenario that's the exact opposite of what most people thought would occur preseason.

• Rex Grossman is now the least of the Bears problems.

• One last thing on the Ravens-Browns ending: We love it when a team believes it has won and then is called back on the field. We really love it when a team makes it all the way back to their locker room and is forced to return. Failure is always just a tiny step away from victory ... but it's usually not that close.

I was just getting ready to throw some love on Clinton Portis myself. Costumes aside, he's an absolute beast. He's a better blocker than any featured back in the league (Edge included) and if the Redskins throw a pick, odds are Clinton's going try to send the interceptor to the hospital. Jason Campbell is also playing quite nicely and my Skins are miraculously winning at the half. Now it's time for Gibbs to install his patented "sit on the lead and call a bunch of timeouts in the third quarter" offense.

Update: TO just scored. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Dallas 14 - Washington 10

• Wacky field goal shenanigans. Horse Balls Anderson wasn't his usual Hall of Fame self but Celeveland had just enough mojo to knock off Baltimore 33-30 in overtime. Did Baltimore really score 30 points? Wow, must have been one of those rare games with ten field goals.

• Unleashing the Dragon! Rextasy has been "managing the game" which means that it's only a matter of time before he spreads his seed all over Seattle's supple defense. Cedric Benson is playing pretty well, just to keep people on their toes. Chicago 17 - Seattle 17

Update: Seattle starts the half with a 49 yard touchdown drive. Seattle 24 Chicago 17

• Upset watch. Somehow the Steelers are actually tied with the Jets. The NFL is a lot like Ben Roethlisberger, big, unwieldy, and difficult to understand. New York 13 - Pittsburgh 13

• Andre's back, baby! I love me some Andre Johnson (and not just because my team in the Yahoo(!) blogger league has been tanking without him) and so does Matt Schaub. The quarterback is 20/29 for 279 yards and two touchdowns with 105 yards and one score to his favorite receiver. Reggie Bush has 19 touches but only 63 yards while Mario Williams has three tackles, a sack, and a forced fumble. Let the debate begin anew! Houston 20 - New Orleans 10

• This game blows. Remember how the Lions and Giants were supposed to entertain us with a display of aerial mastery? Yeah, no so much. I've been forced to watch just about every second of this game and it hasn't been pretty. Balls and players have been dropping to the ground at a startling rate, including Mathias Kiwanuka who suffered a broken leg. Michael Strahan has sacked Jon Kitna three times. New York 16 - Detroit 3 Update: Hey, Calvin Johnson just made an awesome touchdown catch. I take it all back. New York 16 - Detroit 10

• Old guys need more painkillers. Green Bay sure seems to be rolling through the NFC with ease (although Gibbs handed them one game). They're currently destroying Carolina which is good news for fans of teams with shitty coaches who are really hoping that John Fox becomes available by some miracle. Favre's gone over 200 yards with a trio of scores. Ryan Grant is still looking pretty damn good, which just goes to prove the point that running backs do in fact grow on trees.

Update: Carson Palmer just threw another touchdown pass to Antrel Rolle.

Bad teams can be entertaining. The best action of the day is taking place in Minnesota without the only player anybody cares about. Minnesota and Oakland have already combined for 32 points with Chester Taylor racking up two touchdowns. Not to take away from the Vikings running backs, but their offensive line is really good. It's almost as if spending money on a Steve Hutchinson smarter than spending money on a Shaun Alexander. Minnesota 19 - Oakland 13

The Chargers are fucking annoying. God damn, what is wrong with San Diego? I mean aside from their woeful head coach and douchey quarterback. The Jaguars are taking them to the woodshed in Jacksonville. Now I'm not sure what goes on in these woodsheds I'm always hearing about, but I imagine it involves ball gags and butane torches. Jacksonvile 17 - San Diego 3

• A little part of us has always thought that Colts kicker Adam Vinatieri should have retired after the last Patriots Super Bowl. Kicking is a weird business, and sometimes people lose all their abilities for no apparent reason. (We remind you that Mike Vanderjagt, exactly one year ago, was the most accurate field goal kicker in NFL history. He is now out of the league.) Vinatieri could have been a hero forever, a Hall of Famer. Now he is subject to the winds of fate — even those indoor, dome winds of fate — that any kicker is subject to. Sorry, Adam.

• If good ole Horse Balls Anderson could have pulled off a road upset of Pittsburgh yesterday, we'd have those balls bronzed. (It would be fun and educational!) Even with their loss yesterday, the Browns are becoming personal favorites; we could watch that kickoff return for a touchdown all day.

• How perfect, we think, it would be if now Rex Grossman came back and rescued the Bears, sending them on a six-game winning streak? That would make us so happy.

• Life as a Saints fan is frustrating enough, but once your team is finally turning it around, they collapse against the NFC's only winless team. But hey, it's time to have Bulger fever again. We suppose it's easier to play well when all your ribs aren't cracked.

• Buzzsaw! Realize, friends, that if Seattle loses tonight — unlikely, but still — the Buzzsaw will be tied for first place. Yes indeedy.

• We are already weary of any and all Patriots-Cowboys Super Bowl discussion. We beg it all to stop.

• After seeing how electric the place gets for a random Jets game in September, we really, really wish we were going to the Bills-Patriots game next Sunday. That place is going to tear itself apart. We fully expect the Bills playing the game of their lives ... and then giving up 35 points in the fourth quarter.

The Patriots had the game in hand with the ball and a 24-20 lead but Bill Belichick still had to rip the heart out of his last non-New England supporters. I speak of course of gamblers. We're a simple people, and we don't ask of much. But when you've committed your season to blowing opponents out of the water we'd really appreciated it if you didn't take a knee when you're a field goal away from a cover. Banging out some guy's wife for a couple of decades is one thing, but taking a knee with two minutes left? You Mr. Belichick, are fucked in the soul.

• Jason Witten doesn't need no stinkin' helmets. The big tight end was nearly decapitated by Philadelphia's fans defensive backfield, but still managed to finish with 77 yards along with a touchdown. TO and Romo hooked up 10 times for 174 and a touchdown, the qb added a third touchdown pass to somebody named Tony Curtis. I imagine he was quite pleased.

• Why does Mike Shanahan have a job? Denver was eviscerated by the mighty De-troit Li-ons by a score of 44-7 (how'd they score seven?). Jay Cutler was apparently eaten by Shaun Rogers meaning it was Patrick Ramsey's turn to suck (sidenote: the Lions lead the league in players named Shaun...and frowns). At one point the team's long-snapper/emergency third quarterback was warming up under center. Hey Shanny, if Patrick Ramsey is your backup then you damn well better have a capable third-stringer.

• New SSW: The Saints don't even suck a little bit. Last year's darlings were written off after their 0-4 start, but the plucky bastards have found their form and returned to .500 at the halfway point. Drew Brees threw for 900 yards, I'm super cereal.

• We're of two minds on next week's Patriots-Colts game, for which, we apologize, we are already contributing to the endless hype you're going to be sick of by Wednesday. On one hand, it might be pleasant to see the Patriots put in their place a bit after yesterday's Exhibit R in their quest for Spurrier Hell status. On the other hand, a Patriots win might lead to column by Gregg Easterbook about how the planet is about to burst into a plume of dust. It's a tough call.

• That Vince Young ... he just finds a way to win! He was unbelievable in yet another win yesterday! Really!

• Not to go all woulda-shoulda on you here, but if the Bills had not suffered those dramatic collapses against Denver and Dallas, they'd be 5-2 right now. And there's no reason they shouldn't win their next two as well. The Jets, on the other hand, are looking at 1-10 going into Dolphins Stadium on December 2. That'll be exciting.

• Man, we could listen to Tiki Barber talk about the 6-2 Giants all day.

• Lord a heavens, the Rams are horrible. Considering this whole Patriots "dynasty" thing began with the 2002 Super Bowl, it might be kind of fun to replay that game, just to see what happens. We're guessing 73-0.

• God, do we have to keep saying this, Coach Smith: BRING. IN. ORTON!

• Many people expected the Jets to fall back a bit this season, even if their team itself improved; last year had its fair share of luck, luck you couldn't expect to return. But, man, 1-6? The Jets look like a team that's worse off than they were during the Herman Edwards era — and we note that the Chiefs have a winning record right now. Coach Eric Mangini has watched everything fall apart since SpyGate; we wonder if he would do it over again, if he could. But hey: He still has that game in Foxboro to look forward to!

• You've surely heard enough about Tom Brady already, but seriously now: He has 27 touchdowns this season and two interceptions. That seems against some sort of physics law. The only question now: Can he win the big game?

• It's worth noting that the Lions are a win away from being halfway to Jon Kitna's 10-win guarantee, and they don't play a team with winning record until the week before Thanksgiving.

• The Giants are off to London this week, and we absolutely cannot believe they've won five in a row. Yeah, screw off, Tiki. We think it's be hilarious if Coughlin won Coach of the Year.

• In lieu of his son's most recent arrest, we repeat: Does anyone really think Andy Reid is going to finish coaching the Eagles this season? They just lost on a game-winning drive from Brian Griese.

• OK: Maybe we miss Matt Leinart. A little.

• We're not going to harp on this, because it's just going to make us upset, but with a chance to go to 4-2 and have a full game lead in the NFC West ... the Buzzsaw lost to the Vinny Testaverde yesterday. And the Kurt Warner injury didn't make all that much difference; they'd have lost if he played as well. The NFC West winner very well might be under .500 this year.

• Today marks the two-week anniversary since we ran our lost Norv Turner Looking Forlorn On The Sidelines photo. There might be something to this give-it-to-LaDaianian and get the hell out of the way thing.

• We wonder if, they had a chance to do it over, if "The Sopranos" would still pick Eric Mangini to play a prominent role in its penultimate episode.

• It's a good thing the Patriots had the last game yesterday, or Boston sports fans would have slept, like, three hours. The Patriots have to make those seven-run 11th innings feel a little better, we'd think.

• We have to come to the belief that the only way to fix the Bears is to put Kyle Orton at quarterback and on the offensive line.

• If Vince Young is out for any period of time, the Titans will regret not grabbing Vinny Testaverde would they could. Hell, we're sure they run the exact same offensive system; they're pretty much the same player.

• Say what you will about Ryan Leaf and Tim Couch, but at least they only destroyed one franchise. Joey Harrington has now floundered as a starting quarterback for three teams, teams that might not have been all that bad were it not for the dope taking their snaps. Pictured is Byron Leftwich, who probably knows, like, four of the Falcons' plays, all of which failed.

• Yes, yes, it's true: We have Kurt Warner Fever. We've had it since he first came to the desert. For the first time since his Rams heyday, Warner has legitimate protection from his offensive line ... and no more young quarterback standing in his way. (It seems odd now that Warner could have ever backed up Eli Manning.) Oh, and look who the Buzzsaw are considering as Warner's backup: Jake Plummer! It all comes full circle!

• Another reason to be excited about the Buzzsaw: The rest of that division is horrible. We kind of think the Seahawks might be done. (Note: We will regret saying this.)

• It was comforting, with all the violent Favre-fellating going on, to see that the other Favre, the one who throws all the interceptions at the worst possible times, the one we like almost as much as the good Favre, could be back on display last night. We're all gonna feel pretty silly if the Packers lose their next five, aren't we?

• If we were Travis Henry, we might almost rather be suspended. Almost.

NY Giants 35 - NY Jets 24 Eli was significantly less shitty in the second half and his pair of touchdown passes (Shockey and Plaxico) gave the Giants an opportunity to win the battle for Jersey supremacy. Chad Pennington looked like he was throwing around a small pig rather than an inflatable leather ball. His slightly askew passes were picked out of the air seemingly at will. Aaron Ross hauled in two of them, including one that he returned for the game clinching touchdown. Mike Greenberg wants you to know that he's super-duper sad.

Washington 34 - Detroit 3 WOOO! FUCKING HOO! That was a masterful display. Sellers with two touchdowns, Sean Taylor with the best block all year, and Carlos Rodgers actually caught an interception—so it is possible! Big win for the Skins and a telling loss for the Lions. I may be a homer but I know that our front four is a below average unit, yet they pummeled Detroit inside.

Arizona 34 - St. Louis 31 It's always fun to see Gus Frerotte out on the field but he couldn't do enough to secure the Rams first win. Once again Kurt Warner stepped up to finish off what Matt Leinart was not permitted to. I'm not sure why they keep starting Leinart and then benching him after a few drives, either play him or sit him. Leinart wasn't terrible, but Warner was good enough to lead the team to another win.

I'd post the rest of the early games, but they didn't really do it for me. Besides, time's winged chariot is catching up to us.

Arizona at St. Louis Matt Leinart and Kurt Warner are a combined 15/27 passing the ball with one interception coming from the morally questionable one. The old one actually managed to rush for a one-yard touchdown joining Edgerrin James in the box score. Larry Fitzgerald has already gone well over 100 yards without Anquan Boldin playing. On the other side St. Louis is hanging tough. Gus Frerotte did what Marc Bulger hasn't been able to in a while, throwing a touchdown to a receiver. 23-13 Arizona leads.

Atlanta at Tennessee DeAngelo Hall asked for forgiveness in his own special way, returning a LenDale White fumble all the way for the score. After that Tennessee started giving the ball to Chris Brown who's found the end zone once himself. Aside from that it's been the crappy field goal battle everybody expected. Vince Young is not doing his part to make the game more interesting, he's already turned it over twice. Atlanta's on top 13-10

NY Jets at NY Giants After the Giants opened up the second half with a touchdown drive ending in a Brandon Jacobs 19-yard run the Jets answered right back. Leon Washington took the kick back almost the entire length of the field to reestablish a double digit lead. Chad Pennington has played well with one touchdown and an interception to match but Eli Manning has been absolutely putrid. Fortunately for the Giant faithful the running game looks stout once again. Derrick Ward and Brandon Jacobs are both moving the ball with ease. 24-14 Jets in the best game so far today.

Image via DC Sports Bog

I'll be back later with a wrap up of the early action.

Miami at Houston Cleo Lemon has taken over for Green but this has become the Ronnie Brown and Jay Feely show. Brown is putting together another nice fantasy week with 60+ yards and a touchdown while Feely has already nailed three field goals. Miami's up 16-7

Carolina at New Orleans John Kasay has connected on two field goals and somebody named Matt Moore is the Panthers leading passer. Drew Brees has already connected on a number of nice quality passes, unfortunately one of them was to the Panthers Richard Marshall. Carolina leads 6-3.

Update: Field goal is good for New Orleans, tied at 6-6 now

Cleveland at New England The Patriots aren't covering...yet. Not much to say here, Brady and Sammy Morris are shredding the Browns and Donte Stallworth has 50+ yards and a touchdown. Derek Anderson has already thrown two passes to the wrong guys and somebody named Jason Wright is getting the carries for Jamal Lewis. 13-0 New England.

Update: Check that, the cover is on! 20-0 New England

Jacksonville at Kansas City Maurice Jones-Drew looks like he's regained some of his old form. But hey, that's what a 52 yard touchdown will do for you. Larry Johnson looks like he's playing in shackles. Jacksonville's in control 10-0.

Seattle at Pittsburgh This was the first game to head to the half and I've yet to actually see a single minute of it (I have the Skins on my small tv and RedZone HD on the big fella). The lone score of the first half came when Big Ben found Heath Miller (one of his nine tight ends) for a 13 yard touchdown. Ike Taylor picked off a Matt Hasselbeck pass in the end zone but he didn't beat up any women...which is nice. 7-0 PIttsburgh, and the second half is underway

Thanks to Awful Announcing for the screen shot.

More to come soon...

• Up until yesterday, you could almost have made a case for Chargers coach Norv Turner. (If you were trying really, really hard. The losses were to a dominant Patriots team and the surging Packers. But yesterday, Norv Turner lost at home — at home — to the Chiefs ... the Chiefs! Herman Edwards coaches that team! Even those with the anti-Norv sites can't believe this is happening so fast. One thing to enjoy about this, though; it will be the first and last times a stadium of people will ever be chanting Marty Schottenheimer's name.

• We had a grand time at the Bills game yesterday; that's the closest the NFL will ever come to the feel of small-town, mom-and-pop, college-football-esque home field experience. (Note: We've never been to Green Bay.) We even saw the beginning of the Trent Edwards era. Any stadium still quaint enough to play "Shout" every time the home team scores is A-OK with us. One thing, though: Bill Buffalo is a terrifying mascot. Not does he look like devil spawn ... but why he is blue? WHY???

• Aided by Pro Football Prospectus, we thought Tony Romo was going to collapse this year. This is what we get for doubting an Eastern Illinois Panther. And man, the Rams: Marc Bulger isn't quite the Daunte Culpepper fantasy disaster of a few years ago, but boy, has he destroyed some teams.

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• We have a feeling New York sports fans — though we're not sure what the Giants-Mets fan crossover is — would have traded a Giants win for a Mets win yesterday. And it's a good thing Phillies fans are so ecstatic right now, or they might notice how bad the Eagles looked (again) last night.

• Yes, yes, the Buzzsaw. As Steve Breaston celebrates, we cautiously point out that this Buzzsaw team looks like a "real" football team than we can remember. They're not gimmicky, they're not fluky, they're not stumbling around and staying in games because teams aren't used to being in the desert / confused by the maroon uniforms. The Buzzsaw looks tough, and that's the first time we can remember saying that in about 15 years. The next five games look winnable; 3-2 would be enough.

• At this point, it seems obvious to everyone, presumably even Lovie Smith: Rex Grossman isn't going to cut it anymore. A normal person might have realized this after he, you know, fell apart in the Super Bowl — the Super Bowl! — but sometimes that sample size just ain't big enough. But now, at last, we know: It's Kyle Orton time, everybody.

• The general consensus heading into this season is that the Chargers would dominant the regular season schedule and then collapse in the playoffs. Norv Turner should be so lucky! To be fair, it's difficult for anyone to overcome the perpetual heroism of Brett Favre, and it's cute that Norv even tried.

• Imagine how much praise Donovan McNabb would be receiving this morning if he were white.

• We enjoyed Peter King being a voice of reason in a world of insanity on "Football Night In America" last evening, pointing out that Matt Leinart will remain the Buzzsaw quarterback despite Kurt Warner's "holy crap, that looks like Kurt Warner!" moments yesterday. It's nice to see Kurt back, actually. But no wife-in-the-crowd shots, alas.

• Some kudos, actually, to the Texans, most of whom limped off the field before finally succumbing to the Colts yesterday. We continue to have Texans fever, and if you don't stop scratching, it will never go away.

• We do find it amusing, actually, that Kurt Warner looked like he could still play yesterday, while Marc Bulger looked washed up. Football doesn't make any sense sometimes.

• The Patriots keep scoring 38 points every game. That should end next week: They play the Bengals, and should put up a ton more.

• We know a lot of people, when you are watching your team play while you are in enemy territory, who like to puff out their chests when that team wins. This seems dangerous, yes, but it's also not really our style. Our curse as a sports fan is that we experience far more heartbreak when our team loses than we experience joy when our team wins. To taunt someone whose team just lost to ours would appear against the natural order of matters, and, frankly, against rules of taste and manners. So when Neil Rackers hit his field goal to give the Buzzsaw a 23-20 victory over the Seahawks, we, surrounded by Seahawks fans who were already bored by the Mariners' loss at Safeco Field, kept our celebration to a muted, obscured fist pump and a muttered "fuck yeah!" under our breath. No need to push it. When your team finally catches a break, instead of being haunted by one, it's probably best to keep your happiness private, and not just because you might be beaten up if you don't.

• You know what we would really enjoy? Watching Derek Anderson become the next Drew Brees as Brady Quinn turns into Philip Rivers. (But, you know, more FABULOUS.) We don't think there's any question that yesterday was the best day in Browns 2.0 franchise history. We just enjoyed that the Bengals, late, had a chance to to win 53-51. That's like the score of a WNBA game.

• We're not going to lie to you: We have Texans fever. We only know one Texans fan, and yesterday, she was stuck covering the freaking Emmys. She deserved to be able to watch that game. By the way, David Carr had to be this close to going all Owen Wilson on the opposing sideline. Yeah, that worked out well.

• We aren't sure what's happening to the Saints, but we absolutely do not like it. This doesn't mean the Buccaneers are gonna win that division, does it?

• One has to admire the restraint of Tiki Barber not to do cartwheels on NBC last night. It must have been tempting.

• Yep, it's another year of this headline: "Hester's returns, defense overcome shaky Grossman."

• The Saints are 0-2, and the Lions are eight wins away from Jon Kitna looking like a very holy genius. God, we love the NFL.

• Yep: That's Norv Turner.

• By the way, if the Patriots go 16-0 and win the Super Bowl, we're blaming you, Mangini.

Actually, other than note that Alex Smith looks pretty happy for a guy who had 66 yards passing before the final drive, and that if Seattle doesn't run away with the NFC West, Mike Holmgren should resign and raise Andy Reid's kids, we're not sure what much more there is to say. The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals blew a late lead and lost on national television. This happens every time they're on national television. At least usually it happens earlier in the night.

So let's focus on the game people actually cared about last night: A gripping 27-20 Bengals win over the Ravens. The game was perhaps most noteworthy for Ravens coach Brian Billick deciding, on the final drive of the game, to to bring in Kyle Boller over Steve McNair. Boller failed to tie the game — obviously — and the best part was watching McNair attempt to avoid making eye contact with the camera after he was benched. With Ray Lewis hurt now, we'd be a little concerned if we were a Ravens fan right now. Bring in Troy Smith!

• Ben Roethlisberger threw 12 passes yesterday, and four of them were for touchdowns. Meanwhile, Charlie Frye ... you know, it's not like this guy is Tim Couch. Last year, some legitimately thought he might be the future quarterback. Now he's not even the quarterback of the second half of the opener. Maybe he should bounce his head off some pavement, then wait a year.

• We haven't talked to Daulerio yet this morning, but we can't imagine Eagles fans are going to smiling any time they force another team to punt any time this season. This is what happens when you let Andy Reid's sons return kicks. Free Jeremy Bloom!

• We have been crossing our fingers that we would see some Jared Lorenzen this year. Oh, and isn't Reuben Droughns supposedly on that team? The Giants were peeled off the field with rather large spatulas. We think it would be funny if Tiki Barber said, "Just kidding!" and came back to the team. Would make for some fun practices.

• In two weeks, we're going to head to Ralph Wilson Stadium for the Bills-Jets game. We cannot fathom how difficult it must be to live as a Bills fan. The world is just one big nutpunch for those guys.

• You guys here? The Patriots made same changes in the offseason, and they seem to have been effective.

• We suspect we speak for a lot of people when we express our joy at seeing Keith Olbermann back doing highlights for NBC last night. A little of Olbermann goes a long way, but it was pure pleasure to hear him do schtick from before it was cool, and then not cool, to do schtick. In fact, we enjoyed the whole NBC "Football Night In America" telecast, though, all told, we prefer the announcers' table more than the players' table.

• Among all the crazy statistics and factoids — we hate the fact that "factoid" has evolved to the point that we accept it as a reasonable descriptive word — we came across this morning, here's our favorite one: If the Eagles win their last two games, they win the NFC East. How did that happen? We have also been joking the last couple of weeks about our Buzzsaw's "hopes" of sneaking back in the playoff chase, and even they we were joking (really), we're not that far off. The freaking Packers are one game out of the wild-card right now. (Lord, we hadn't prepared ourselves for the possibility of Brett Favre in the playoffs. We're absolutely not ready.) Honestly, if the Titans were in the NFC, we think they'd be our Super Bowl favorites right now.

• We don't know a lot of Saints fans, so we ask in all seriousness: How do you feel this morning? You have to be happy, right? We ask because we honestly don't know.

• Of all the potential postseason storylines, we're not sure we can imagine a more fundamentaly amusing one than Kyle Boller, of all people, leading his team to the Super Bowl. The guy absolutely cannot be killed. The Ravens should have found another backup in the offseason just so they wouldn't tempt themselves, for crying out loud.

• How awesome is it that Philadelphia, led by Jeff Garcia, of all people, is playing Dallas for, essentially, the NFC East title on Christmas Day? We absolutely cannot wait. If only it were in Philly.

• From The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord: "A commercial comes on for We Are Marshall and Dirty brings up the very awesome possibility of a scene where some West Virginia fans show up at one of the funerals and start heckling. If any of you see that movie, and that really happens, can you let me know? Because that's the kind of thing I'd pay $8 to see."

News And Notes From Week 14 In The NFL ...

• When Bill Simmons mentioned in his column this week that he considered Drew Brees a better choice for SI's Sportsman of the Year than Dwyane Wade, we thought he was bonkers; perhaps too much VH-1? Even if Brees has had a great year and contributed to the general sense of rebirth at the Superdome — well, for the white fans with tickets and, you know, homes anyway — we had a difficult time imagining him worthy of the award for three good months with not even a guaranteed playoff spot. (If he had broken his leg the week after the magazine came out, no one would remember why he had ever been chosen; that's our point.) Anyway, after last night's ridiculousness in Dallas, we aren't quite sure what to make of anything anymore. The Saints curb-stomped the Cowboys last night, 42-17, and frankly they could have scored 60, had they wanted to. The Cowboys had been the hottest team in football, and the Saints ... jeez, the Saints, man, wow. Sean Payton, your presumed coach of the year (and former replacement player, lest we forget), looked like a guy who had coached the Cowboys the last couple of years, and the Cowboys had an overwhelmed, Zook-ian vibe to them. We're not ready to say the Saints are the likely NFC Super Bowl candidate, but they play like they did last night, they'll beat anybody.

• If this were baseball, you could hold out hope that the Colts were the NFL's Cardinals, a team that will limp into the playoffs with one of its worst rosters and catch fire at the right time. But say what you will about Jeff Weaver and Jeff Suppan, but at least those guys could at least trip a guy to stop him from running. The Colts look like they're toast, folks.

• Not that the Patriots are gorgeous right now either; Tom Brady threw for 78 yards yesterday and the Pats were shutout. These teams are unlikely to even make it far enough to have another playoff faceoff.

• We think it's rather awesome that Shawne Merriman, after missing four games because of steroids, is still the favorite for NFL Defensive Player of the Year. The NFL, it's the best.

• Every time we watch Vince Young do something amazing again, we feel pretty stupid about ever getting so worked up about Ron Mexico.

• Edgerrin James has rushed for 100-plus yards two straight games now, enough to make him forget his a Buzzsaw. The Seahawks, by the way, yipes; they're just like the Colts and Pats, playoff relics likely to slip in but not likely to last long.

• From The Mighty MJD Smorgasbord: "Michael Strahan is in a new Subway commercial with Jared, one that ends with them sharing a hearty belly laugh, and I'd like to tell you something about the forced chemistry between the two, and about how it's a weird, uncomfortable, commercial... but I can't. I completely buy that Strahan and Jared are pals. Nothing in the world makes more sense to me."

• If you would have told us that the two surprise teams in the NFL this year would have been New Orleans and the New York Jets, we would have assumed all sorts of things, mostly that you were Eric Mangini and that you should really look into a man bra. But here both teams are, just a couple wins away from the playoffs, with the Saints even looking like a potential first-round bye team, which is just insane. Yesterday, despite the inferior opponents, was the most impressive wins yet for each team, because they just breezed by and took care of matters in an efficient and convincing fashion. And how exciting it is to see Reggie Bush being Reggie Bush again! If they can keep the Yahoo Sports guys away from him, he might be rather awesome to watch the rest of the way.

• Ah, the Giants. Their crushing loss yesterday to the Cowboys should pretty much eliminate them from our thought process the rest of the way, though we're still certain they'll own the NY tabloid backpages over a playoff-bound Jets team. Maybe they'll just fall on their faces next week and officially get this over with. But hey, look: Martin Gramatica's back! So nice to have one of the Grat Mat Brothers around again.

• Hey, Hoge, how's Vince Young looking right now?

• If you have Rex Grossman on your fantasy team, you understand why it's difficult to get too fired up about the Bears in the playoffs.

• This is what happens, by the way, when you let Jay Cutler study under Jake Plummer. His backup next year should totally be Rex Grossman.

• Congratulations to Edgerrin James, who finally ran for more than 100 yards this week (only to have Marcel Shipp — remember him? — steal all his touchdowns). Just three more years left on that contract, Edge!

• From The MJD Smorgasbord: Shawne Merriman records his first sack since he was framed for using steroids. The Juice suggests that he replace his old sack celebration dance (which is exceedingly lame) by getting up and making like he's shoving a needle into his ass. That kind of joke is uncalled-for because Shawne Merriman is a guy who could use our support to get through this difficult time in his life.

• We remember when he was in college, Saints quarterback Drew Brees once threw 73 passes in a game. Afterwards, he said, "I could have thrown more. I wish I would have thrown more." Watching him lead the Saints to a potential playoff appearance is an absolute joy; his 349 yards and two touchdowns yesterday put New Orleans — New Orleans! — in prime position to win the NFC South. It doesn't help that the Falcons have spontaneously combusted, with Michael Vick flipping off fans (more on that later) and the Mora family fighting each other over his "coach-killing" abilities. We're pleased that the Saints are a winning team rather than an empty symbol of, uh, something. We also are expecting Reggie Bush to do something crazy in the playoffs.

• Hey, Pittsburgh, there's always the Pirates!

• Few reads give us more pleasure than the New York Daily News after a crushing Giants/Jets/Yankees/Mets/Knicks loss. It's like watching wolves fight over meat. Yesterday's Eli Manning implosion was particularly gruesome; if he falters again next week in a season-decider against the Cowboys ... hey, bring in Jared Lorenzen! Manning seems to have that permanent "San Diego drafted me" look on his face these days.

• The Patriots are starting to look like that team that won the first Super Bowl; not overwhelmingly talented, making the right move at just the right time, winning. Not that it matters much right now for the Bears, but screw Brian Griese: Who's got Orton fever?

• This week's fun at ]]> Deadspin-217261 Mon, 27 Nov 2006 09:15:42 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=217261&view=rss&microfeed=true News And Notes From Week 11 in the NFL.

• Because he's an Eastern Illinois graduate, we've felt it's important to support new Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, but up until this week, it has been difficult to hop on board too much with all the enthusiasm. Romo's best quality has been his unique position of Not Being Drew Bledsoe; because he was physically able to move his feet without falling down and throw a pass without bleeding, he was the most popular player in town. But yesterday, Romo brought it all together, spinning, running, flinging, all together looking like some new sort of creature who could change the way we think about the NFC in an upset victory over the previously undefeated Colts. A loss by the Giants tonight would be the 'Boys in a tie for first place in the NFC East, and with what's going on with the Eagles, the Cowboys look like they could make a run on the Bears come playoff time. Looks like Drew Bledsoe's blog isn't helping much anymore.

• Oh, yes, the Eagles. If you get the opportunity, we suggest just doing what you can to avoid any and all Eagles fans today. Not that it won't be amazing to see Jeff Garcia back in action again, but yeah, Philly's all done now, good night, sleep well.

• Everyone's excited about the Chargers this morning, and with good reason, but lest we forget, they were down by 17 in the second half. Winning at Denver, with Jake Plummer doing that thing that he do, baby, is making us extremely excited about seeing LaDanian Tomlinson playing in January.

• OK, we'll say it: We're officially rooting for the 49ers in the NFC West.

• Hey ... Buzzsaw win! A good friend of ours is a Lions fan, and it seems like the Buzzsaw and Lions every year. We usually engage in some ironic trash-talk, considering each team is always considerably under .500 at the time, but this year, we couldn't even muster up the energy to do that.

• From The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord: "Mike Nolan, however, is looking fresh to death in his special black custom Reebok suit. I'm disappointed that there's not a Reebok logo visible anywhere on the suit... a huge white Reebok logo would look fantastic across his back."

• Watching the Giants-Bears game last night, we realized, like a lot of people must have, that Giants coach Tom Coughlin, for all his supposed military-like preparation techniques, has a tendency to make some silly decisions when under pressure. His decision to send Jay Feely out for a 52-yard, into-the-wind, slippery-turf field goal last evening was boneheaded even before it was returned for a touchdown. With the clear mistake, the Giants went from potentially holding an advantage over the Bears for home-field to being helplessly behind. By the way, nothing Rex Grossman does makes sense to us anymore. And Eli Manning ... uh, he's kind of collapsing in the second half again. Just pointing that out.

• We're very confused by Bill Belichick's constant snubbing of his protege Eric Man-breasts-gini. He seems to be furious with him for leaving to coach the Jets, though we can't imagine why; was he supposed to not take the job? Mangini, who still is pretty amazingly out of shape for a guy as young as he is, had some sweet revenge yesterday, leading the Jets to upset the Patriots. The Pats still look in good shape to win that division, but the tide turned real fast on those guys.

• What the hell happened to the Bengals? A bone-crushing loss yesterday leaves the SI cover favorites in serious danger of missing the playoffs. With their schedule, they could end up cinco-ocho before anybody realizes what's happening.

• If you ever start Michael Vick in fantasy again, we suppose you deserve what's coming to you. We know we did.

• Mighty MJD smorgasbord quote of the week: "Rudi Johnson isn't starting for the Bengals for disciplinary reasons. Wait, let me try that again. Rudi Johnson isn't starting for disciplinary reasons? Man, the Bengals are running out of good guys. About Wednesday, we'll hear about Carson Palmer and Marvin Lewis murdering a transvestite hooker when some double team action went awry."

• Not to get wrapped up in fantasy football blather, but if you finally gave in and started Michael Vick this week ... well, jesus, nobody is more infuriating in fantasy football than Michael Vick.

• Lost in the Steelers' collapse this season — and man, what happened there? — has been the disappointing start from the Bengals, who are 4-4 and two games behind the Ravens already. Considering the team has been on the cover of Sports Illustrated three times in the last four months, it's strange the Bengals aren't considered a larger disappointment.

• Forget coaching next year: There's no way Cowboys coach Bill Parcells is going to survive this season without a heart attack. It might be a relief at this point.

• This week's Mighty MJD Smorgasbord comment:

Terrell Owens scores for the Cowboys... then lays down in the endzone, taking a brief nap, using the ball for a pillow. The man is a giant douchebag, and it's not okay that he falls asleep in meetings, and his receivers coach probably doesn't enjoy the fact that he's making light of the situation... but that was funny. Gotta give it to him. However: His publicist just called 911 and said he looked unresponsive in the endzone.

• So, yeah, kind of looks like Ben Roethlisberger is ready to wear a motorcycle helmet over his football helmet. Smaller Than Usual Ben was horrific yesterday, and the Steelers lost to ... the Raiders? Wha? We thought that only happened to the Buzzsaw. The Steelers are done for the year, and it would seem like coach Bill Cowher should at least consider giving Roethlisberger a few weeks off, before he contracts leprosy or something.

• It has been awfully quiet, with the spotlight (as they say) on several other teams, but if you haven't noticed, it's the 7-0 Colts at the 6-1 Patriots next week. We say this only to be the first to, because no one's going to shush about it for the next six days.

• One of the nice things about being in Mattoon over the past week was all the stories about Tony Romo, who went to local Eastern Illinois University and is considered a local hero. We're back in New York now, so we haven't seen today's paper, but we love how every reference includes the EIU connection. We expect every story about Terrell Owens from her until the end of time to mention "Owens, who once caught passes from EIU graduate Tony Romo."

• Yep: The Buzzsaw are who we thought they were. Jeez, is Denny Green still here?

• What's going on with the Eagles? We had them penciled in for an NFC Championship game with the Bears just a couple of weeks ago. What they really need is an attention-grabbing, insecure wide receiver. That would put them over the hump.

• The NFC West is the NL Central: Discuss. Does this mean the Super Bowl champ's gonna come out of there?

• This week's The Mighty MJD Smorgasbord quote: "Chad Johnson scores a touchdown... and he breaks out a little salsa dance, helping the NFL celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month. The Greek makes an argument later that the "Ocho Cinco" nickname is actually disrespectful to people of Hispanic heritage. Not intentionally, mind you... but is it such a big honor if you're butchering the language at the same time? The Greek asks, "Would it be good if someone did the same thing for Black History Month, and their number was 'Fo' Five'?"

• An impressive win for the Chiefs yesterday, particularly after an active week of partying with women and their sex toys. Actually, that was last week, at the team hotel in Pittsburgh, according to Jason Whitlock's column yesterday, which might have led to the blowout in Pittsburgh. We can understand the mindset of the Chiefs players. Yes, there's a game tomorrow ... but jeez, can you believe what hotel we're staying at?

• Joey Harrington threw for 414 yards yesterday, with two touchdowns and ... three picks. It is good to see him paying tribute to Brett Favre, and even handing The Gunslinger Mentality a farewell victory. When is it OK to start questioning Nick Saban? Pretty soon, right?

• Odds on Joe Gibbs coming back next year? We mean, Spurrier could have done this, right?

• Ben Roethlisberger appears to be reasonably OK after being knocked out yesterday, but it's getting to the point that we would feel uncomforable walking down the street with the guy. We're waiting for him to be diagnosed with rickets.

• The Buzzsaw lost to the Raiders yesterday. The Buzzsaw lost to the Raiders yesterday.

• The Mighty MJD writes his Smorgasbord column, somehow fitting it in while doing an outstanding job around here over the weekend. The Smorgasbord never fails to crack us up, and so we're just going to feature our favorite quote from it every Monday. Here's this week's:

"Rex Grossman, meanwhile, is visiting [ESPN GameDay] studio today. Jaws is making some point about how the league has to protect quarterbacks, and he has Grossman stand there, posed in a throwing motion, while Jaws touches him around the abdomen and chest. Grossman keeps his eyes focused on something in the distance, completely unwilling to make eye contact with Jaws, whose hand has been on Grossman for over thirty seconds now. When they called him and asked him to do the show, I bet they didn't tell Rex that Ron Jaworski would be fondling his nipples for an extended period of time."

• Here's a question: Considering how much gruff the late Cory Lidle had to deal with during his baseball career for being a replacement player, why does no one in the NFL seem to care that Saints coach Sean Payton was one as well, for the Bears in 1987? Not to spoil another stirring Saints win, but we do find it surprising that this is rarely brought up, considering Lidle was never able to live it down.

• As if yesterday wasn't difficult enough for the city of St. Louis — sorry, we're kind of stuck on this — the Seahawks kicked a 54-yard field goal as time expired to nix the Rams' hope of taking over first place in the NFL West. Considering the other two teams in that division, the Rams still look in pretty good shape, but it was a bad omen for the day. We did like watching coach Scott Linehan jumping around like an idiot thinking he had won, though.

• San Francisco might not have a very good defense; they've given up 34 points or more four times already this year, including 48 yesterday. Good thing Spurrier isn't in the NFL anymore.

• Particularly bad day for Cincinnati and especially Washington yesterday. Joe Gibbs seemed happier when he was pudgy-faced and watching cars run around in circles. Perhaps this week, Clinton Portis should dress up as Chris Simms' spleen. We'd really enjoy that, actually.

• Good call on picking the Sunday night game yesterday, NBC.

• Even though the Terrell Owens business turned out to fizzle — somewhat — the Eagles/Cowboys game was as entertaining a game as we had seen all year. Later we'll have a photographic collection of Eagles fans for you, which, sadly, FOX didn't linger on quite enough for our tastes. Ultimately, a great game wasn't quite enough for us to quench our thirst for blood. We really were expecting some sort of Zeppelin accident.

• If yesterday's Saints-Buccaneers game, in which Reggie Bush returned a punt for the game-winning touchdown late in the fourth quarter, had been the first Monday night game at the Superdome, rather than that Falcons game, Bush might have been on the cover of Time the next week.

• There would have been something beautiful about Vince Young beating Peyton Manning in Indianapolis, but the Colts have become that annoying team that can play terrible and still win. We would love to see Young in Manning's mustache from that Sprint commercial, however.

• All right, so we're comfortable with Matt Leinart for our Buzzsaw already, though we really wish he'd stop calling the center "Paris." That Monday night game next week the Bears is going to be brutal, however.

• John Clayton: "It's time to start thinking about next season if you are the Raiders." Hey, you might be right!

• We repeat: If you're not reading The Mighty MJD's Sunday smorgasbord each Monday morning, you're only cheating yourself. And God: You're cheating God.