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more about #nfl more comments → Botswana Meat Commission FC: From Highdeas: If you watch jaws backwards, its a movie about a shark that keeps throwing up people until they have to open a beach. That is brilliant. more » Clarence Rosario: God help us all if they learn to deliver Farve in aerosol form. more » Steve U: +1, Iraqi detainees. more » Chris Hanson's Axe: Also, you likea make sexy time with your father. Nice! more » Bobby Big Wheel: The Iraqis also mocked Braden Looper to show those Brewers fans the futility of WAR. more » Pedro Cuatrocinco: They're obviously bound for Cleveland. more » DennyCrane: What's with this "never use an electric shaver" business? more » Chris Hanson's Axe: Chris Johnson is laying waste to everything in sight right now. Too bad he's gonna tweak an MCL this weekend. /bookmark this comment more » dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: "Jingle Bells, Vagina Smells." more » Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Next time, I'm adopting an 18-year-old. I don't know if they call that "adoption". more » Phintastic: Wouldn't it be a great highDEA if Sarah Palin went parasailing and plunged face first into the rocks on the shoreline? Yes. That would be awesome. more » MarkKelsosMigraine: Ironically, Linda and Robert Evans made love to Yanni: Live at the Acropolis. more » Bobby Big Wheel: I knew a cokehead in college who'd use one of his girlfriend's fake nails. Why yes, they were both from Jersey, why do you ask? more » roland_t_flakfizer: "You know who'd be a kickass phone sex operator? That Barefoot Contessa lady" Oh yeah, put it in.... now, how easy was THAT? NO Jeffrey, YOU CANNOT ... more » NordoftheBlings: Drew, so-fucking-true about Coke Pinkie. Spent a winter in Tahoe, our weed dealer lived in a home-made, sin-crusted ice cave. His glove-shriveled, bro... more » -
#nfl
Iraqis Now Using Favre-Based Warfare
Iraqi militants have resorted to the lowest sort of psychological tactics in an attempt to break down our soldiers: bringing up Brett Favre.
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#nfl
In Blackout Roulette, Jags To Bet It All On...Teal?
Sixteen years ago, one grassroots organization brought the Jaguars to Jacksonville. Now they're back, doing everything they can to keep them there. (Note: "everything they can" appears limited to coupons for nachos and soda at one game.) More » -
#ballsdeep
Pre-Thanksgiving, Coke Pinkies And Nazi Dinosaurs. Jamboroo, Week 11
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed. More » -
#nfl
Chicago Has Pretty Much Completely Turned On Jay Cutler
It's bad; they've taken to calling him "Jay McNown." But the beleaguered QB finds an unlikely defender in the father of former Bears washout Rex Grossman. Dan Grossman's endorsement floated 50 yards and was intercepted by Brian Griese. [Chicago Tribune] -
#nfl
Who Had Dick Jauron In Their Pool?
Now that guy got canned! The Bills owner said he fired his head coach today, because "nothing ever seemed to go right." That is very perceptive, Ralph. [Buffalo News] -
#scary
Steeler Fan Says Bears Fans Blinded Him With Roofies
They say that you should never take a drink from stranger that you didn't see poured yourself. That goes double for Steeler fans hanging out in Chicago bars, after one poor bloke says he was poisoned by local Ditka worshipers. More » -
#nfl
Mina Brees' Death Ruled A Suicide
Drew Brees' mother died three months ago at the home of a friend in northern Colorado. A coroner now says she killed herself by ingesting "a large quantity of prescription medications." [Austin American-Statesman] -
#crime
Tila Tequila Not Finished With Shawne Merriman Yet
The D.A. wouldn't prosecute Merriman for assaulting the TV "personality," but she can still sue him for assault, battery, false imprisonment and emotional distress. Oh, you better believe you haven't heard the last of this. [TMZ] -
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#nfl
Just To Mess With Their Fans' Heads, Bengals Bring In Larry Johnson
Feeling pretty good about that 7-2 record, Bengal backers? In the AFC North driver's seat with a very favorable schedule ahead? Well, Mike Brown can definitely change that. What your team needs is a fourth-string RB with an attitude problem! More » -
#nfl
Belichick Was Right
I enjoy a national shanking of Bill Belichick as much as anyone, but I'm with Neon here: Belichick, who has won three Super Bowls treating football the way an actuary treats a term life policy, made the smart call yesterday.
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#nfl
Crazy Old Man Gives Bills The Bird
Unfortunately, that grumpy coot just happens to be the owner of the Tennessee Titans and his affinity for the ol' double deuce is now immortalized on YouTube. If you have hands, feel free to nervously wring them. More » -
#weekendwinner
Peyton Manning Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Peyton Manning, who won the weekend when it was gift-wrapped with a pretty bow and handed to him by Bill Belichick. More » -
#nfl
No One Films The Belichick In Failure
The NFL Films cameraman gets taken down hard by one of the Dark Lord's minions (or his camera's cable), and Bill bids him a fond farewell. (Bonus animated gif, after the jump!) More » -
#nfl
Even A Chris Simms Sighting Can't Ruin Today's Games
Dear NFL. Sorry for making fun of the crappy games every week. I guess you heard my complaints, because every single game today was within a score at the start of the fourth quarter. More » -
#nfl
Your Late Games Open Thread
See all those empty seats in St. Louis? Here's a nifty article on the shady math teams use to claim sellouts and avoid TV blackouts. I guess Jacksonville is either very honest, or not good at math. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch] -
#nfl
Old People Fantasy Football Is Adorable
A Massachusetts nursing home has started a fantasy football league for its residents, to give them something to do on Sundays. If their teams are anything like mine, that "something to do" is likely "wishing for death." More » -
#nfl
Your Early Games Open Thread
Here it is, empirical proof that FOX thinks your desire to watch Brett Favre be Brett Favre trumps your desire to avoid Lions games at all cost. Also, enjoy that all-Florida crapfest, West Virginia. [The506] -
#nfl
Chad Ochocinco Fined Veinte Mil Dólares By Liga Nacional de Fútbol Americano
¡Ay, caramba! Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver/prop comic Chad Ochocinco has been fined $20,000 by the NFL for jokingly attempting to bribe an official with a dollar bill during last Sunday's game against the Baltimore Ravens. More » -
#nfl
Please Don't Mention Eggs To Mike McCarthy. Ever.
The Packers fired a 22-year Lambeau Field employee because coach Mike McCarthy thought he heard the guy tell him, "Don't lay an egg." That sounds about right. I wonder if the Metrodome is hiring? [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel] -
#nfl
NFL Mercifully Ends Stupidest Product Placement Ever
Philly's Brent Celek was fined 15 yards for an idiotic TD celebration Sunday, when he raised his right leg just like the doofuses in those Captain Morgan commercials. And yep, the awful rum maker was behind the whole thing. More »
