Gah! Run for your lives! The Thing That Should Not Be has returned to continue his reign of terror. And he looks hungry.

Well, kiddos and kiddettes, my day living like a big shot blogger has sadly come to an end. I hope I was a suitable replacement and brought at least a fraction of the usual tomfoolery and skullduggery that goes on around here on the weekends.

As far as who is handling Weekend Daddy duties tomorrow, well, I cannot say - because I don't know. Maybe it will be me, but I doubt it. Crap, just wait until AJ sees what I did today to his fair site. Nevertheless, thanks for reading and taking it easy on me.

With that said (or typed, in this instance), have a wonderful evening. There should be baseball tonight, and we have a couple of college football games on over at tWWL for our viewing enjoyment.

So hang out here at DUAN tonight, for old time's sake. But fear the Nightmare Ant. I know I will.

I will tell you this: I'm fried, man. All I have to hold on to is the frayed ends of sanity.

Hear them calling...hear them calling me...hahahaha.

The NBA D-League has done it again! The Maine Red Claws unveiled their new mascot this weekend (at a baseball game, of course) and he bears a striking resemblance to another booster from the same league. In fact, I think all they did was take Fort Wayne's Mad Ant and replace his hands with claws. Bingo! It's Crusher! (Click the image to fully experience the terror.)

So now folks on the East Coast can also be haunted by a horrific vision of their own death anytime they attend a minor league basketball game, just like their Midwest brethren. I just hope that in their sweat-soaked heat visions they don't try to pry open Crusher's appendages and feast on the sweet—but evil!—meat inside. (Don't forget the melted butter!) Although at this point, I think Crusher is more likely to eat you.

And yes, his dunking needs a little work, but that's why he is a D-League mascot.

CRUSHER SET FREE AT HADLOCK [Central Maine Sports Blog]
NBA Development League: Crusher [NBA]

* * * * *

Monday morning. Remember, it's a marathon, not a sprint.

Reader Andrew McNair snapped this out-of-focus photo of the hell-spawned ant-demon.McNair took this photo in an effort to distract Nightmare Ant from eating a small toddler, but was unsuccessful. He only further angered Nightmare Ant and was subsequently gutted and left to bleed to death in front of horrified spectators. Fucking SKEETS.

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TOMORROW: Pete Gaines pops in and will entertain you during your Saturday afternoon hangover. If you don't like his posts, he'll ban you. So laugh.

SUNDAY: KOGOD.

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin and Jeff Tweedy.

Voting will remain open until the end of the first round ... so let's get started. It's No. 7 seed (and 2007 SHOTY winner) Isiah Thomas vs. No. 10 Nightmare Ant. A look at the nominees' 2008 resumes:

No. 7 Isiah Thomas
Won 2007 SHOTY.
Presided over the greatest possession in NBA history.
Got fired, somehow.
Earned $18 million for staying away from his team.
Entered Deadspin Hall of Fame.
Tried to kill himself with sleeping pills.
Blamed it on his daughter.

No. 10 Nightmare Ant
Unleashed upon an unsuspecting populace.
Spawned.
Vowed revenge.

So all right, let's start this puppy off: Who makes it to the Final Eight?

The true genius of Skeets' original post was its simplicity; it was simply Nightmare Ant, and nothing else. It was a truly collaborative effort bringing Nightmare Ant to national prominence, and we should all take a considerable bit of pride from that.

Supposedly, Nightmare Ant's real name is the Mad Ant, and he's the mascot of Ft. Wayne Mad Antz in the D-League. His season goal? "Cheering the Mad Ants on to victory and making all of you smile." Yeah, about that ...

But is he a Hall of Famer? Seventy five percent is the threshold for induction. Vote below: Polls will be open until next Monday afternoon. Vote as if tomorrow does not exist.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

As most of you know, today is my last day writing for Deadspin. Thanks to everyone for putting up with my NBA Closers, weekend nonsense and drunken Nightmare Ant posts over the last couple of months. I sincerely appreciate all the best wishes I've read in the comments and received via e-mail. Truth. I'm going to print them out and roll around in 'em ... naked.

Of course, I also want to thank Will for trusting me with the Gawker log-in info — password: hankypankiel — and allowing me write whatever the hell my cold, little Canadian heart desired. I really can't thank him enough for this opportunity, though I'll try hard if I ever meet the guy. (Sager bombs and karaoke!)

And with that hurried "goodbye," I'm done. Take care, everyone, and you'll be hearing from me around these here Internets soon enough. Bye!