ninja Page index.xml - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Spongebob to co-host Nickelodeon's Super Bowl LVIII broadcast
The folks that gifted us Slimed Mike McCarthy, Patrick Star’s commentary of a Russell Wilson interception, and the Mitchell Trubisky NVP are coming back for the Super Bowl....
The New York Rangers eat dirt like the frauds they’ve always been
It’s important to review recent New York Rangers history to know why they ended up with a handful of their own dicks in the first round, to a New Jersey Devils team that is far more equipped for what wins in the NHL these days. Two years ago, James Dolan took a break from his normal paint-huffing ro...
"Ninja Headbands" Are Taking Over The NBA And I Am Here For It
Traditional headbands are gross and lame. It’s a minimal loop of terrycloth designed specifically just to keep a disgusting bodily fluid from dripping into your eyes, so honestly it’s a wonder that something so guaranteed to be completely radioactive at the end of games ever gained even a modicum of...
Please Enjoy 84 Seconds Of The <i>American Ninja Warrior</i> Broadcast Team Losing Their Shit
The old institutions slouch and rot and tip towards collapse; the culture turns inward, agoraphobic and sleepless and helplessly in thrall to rancid idle fantasies of violence or narcotic visions of capitulation and release; the people in charge loot and lie and then go blank and soft before the ima...
Can <i>American Ninja Warrior</i> Save Men's Gymnastics?
If you want to get boys into gymnastics, call them ninjas....
I Respect <i>American Ninja Warrior's</i> Complete Lack Of Mercy
I don’t watch American Ninja Warrior all that often, but every time I do I find myself enjoying it far more than I expected. Last night, NBC aired Week 1 of the National Finals, and it was a rad time. Bunches of seasoned competitors were undone by a particularly difficult course, and Jessie Graff be...
The Worst Of <i>American Ninja Warrior</i>'s Terrible Commentary
Rescuing us all from a post-Olympics malaise, American Ninja Warrior returned on Monday night with its Philadelphia city finals. Now in its eighth season, ANW has provided us with plenty of wow-worthy moments, such as Kacy Catanzaro’s first female completion of a city finals course and Isaac Caldier...
Marcelo Huertas Pulls Off The Sneakiest Play In The History Of Basketball
Lakers “rookie” (he’s almost 33) Marcelo Huertas is the craftiest man in the NBA, and I will brook no dissent. Look at this shit!...
American Ninja Warrior Is A Lot Better With Dinosaur Costumes
Even if you have no idea what American Ninja Warrior is, I promise that you will enjoy this clip of someone running through a training course in a T-Rex costume. ...
Someone Finally Completed <i>American Ninja Warrior</i>'s Final Course
American Ninja Warrior, a sort of modern and souped-up version of American Gladiators, has been on TV for seven seasons without anyone ever making it to Stage 4 of Mt. Midoriyama—let alone completing it. Until tonight....
All White Everything: The Glorious Badness Of <i>Enter The Ninja </i>
Ninjas tend to wear all black because they want to move around in the dark without being seen, right? Like, that’s the whole point of being a ninja? I’m asking this because the hero of 1981’s Enter the Ninja is a white ninja, in both senses of the word: He’s a Caucasian man who’s become a ninja, and...
Seahawks Punter Competes On A<i>merican Ninja Warrior</i>, Loses
For the record, I’m pretty sure every member of the Deadspin staff would fail on the first American Ninja Warrior obstacle. None of us are professional athletes, either, so we’re not sure whether to be impressed or underwhelmed by Seahawks punter Jon Ryan’s very short appearance on last night’s epis...
Grierson & Leitch's 2014 In Review: The Year's Worst Films
Yes, most people have already written their Top 10 movie lists for 2014. We're saving ours for the last week of the year, but while we wait for this full, rich, and weird movie year to end, we're going to start looking back at certain highlights. Today, it's a look at the worst movies of 20...
Sweet ESPN Martial Arts Broadcast A Throwback To Network's Early Days
If you're old enough to remember any of the 80's, you know that ESPN wasn't always the home to 24-hour jabbering analysts and NFL talk shows. In its more fledgling days, the WWL aired whatever content to which it could obtain rights; thus, Americans were introduced to wacky hat-wearing and fingerg...
Watch This Former Gymnast Tear Up The Course On <em>American Ninja Warrior</em>
Kacy Catanzaro's about 5-foot-nothing and 100 pounds, and somehow she's wrecking shit on American Ninja Warrior....
The First Jose Canseco Joke Known To Mankind
It's easy to forget that Jose Canseco used to be a baseball player of some distinction and not just a social media punchline. Which got us thinking, how long has this been going on? When did the tide start to turn against the Worcester Tornadoes' newest outfielder?...
Comments Of The Fortnight-Ish: Srsly?
To kick off today's discussion, here are two exceptionally great, fairly recent comments for you to examine:...
Comments Of The Fortnight-Ish: Your Racist Jokes Are The Pee-Pee In Our Coke
In recent articles on commenting we've discussed freshness and originality, and now, having tackled those, we're prepared to move on to the slightly weightier topic of race relations in Western culture. Well, not quite. But we are going to talk about racist jokes....
Comments Of The Fortnight-Ish: Blood Week Edition
Let's talk about originality. When a joke makes you laugh, who exactly gets to claim credit for being a funny comedian?...