Despots, Serial Killers, And Dick Jokes: Football Manager's Banned Names

From the sheer number of funny names assigned to the randomly generated players in Football Manager, you may have assumed there is no filter on name combinations. And while you may have seen a "Willy Pinas" or two, you haven't seen a "Adolf Hitler," "Tim McVeigh," or a "Dick Licka" for a good reason. »11/17/14 12:07pm11/17/14 12:07pm


Where Hulk, Cristiano Ronaldo And Other World Cup Stars Got Their Names

It's fitting that the World Cup hosted by Brazil, a country with such a unique anthroponomastic culture, is lousy with guys bearing interesting names and sobriquets. And while hearing these names and wondering where they came from offers one source of enjoyment, we've tried to actually find out what was in the minds… »6/28/14 11:48am6/28/14 11:48am

Name Of The Year 2014 Final: Shamus Beaglehole Vs. Chillie Poon

This is it. This is the showdown we've waited an entire year for (OK, more like five months). In one corner, we have Shamus Beaglehole: English footballer, #3 seed of the Sithole Regional, vanquisher of Curvaceous Bass and Dr. Loki Skylizard, and bearer of a last name that sounds like an old man's curmudgeonly insult.… »4/11/14 10:59am4/11/14 10:59am

Presenting The 2014 Name Of The Year Bracket, A Shitavious Gruntfest

Name of the Year dates to the fall of 1982 and names taped to a dorm-room door on an Ivy campus: Dexter Manley, Cornelius Boza-Edwards, Baskerville Holmes. The following spring, Hector (Macho) Camacho was elected the first Name of the Year. What can we say? The first basketball baskets didn't have holes in the bottom.… »3/21/14 3:16pm3/21/14 3:16pm

Report: The New Orleans Hornets Will Soon Become The New Orleans Pelicans

Marc J. Spears says it, so it must be so: The New Orleans Hornets will soon become the New Orleans Pelicans. It's a nice little name, and it's battle-tested—the New Orleans baseball Pelicans existed most every season from 1887 until 1959—so it won't soon reek of turn-of-the-century-futurespeak like "Heat," "Thunder,"… »12/04/12 7:15pm12/04/12 7:15pm

The Baltimore Ravens Accidentally Sent Their Gameplan To Dennis Pitta, A 60-Year-Old Professor

Dennis Pitta is a tight end for the Baltimore Ravens. Dennis Pitta is also a professor at the University of Baltimore. Stay with me, now. There are two different Dennis Pittas in Baltimore, one more famous than the other, and because of this, Professor Pitta gets a lot of unintended correspondence, including… »11/01/12 1:43pm11/01/12 1:43pm

Usage Note: "It's The Dallas Football Cowboys," Says Jason Stupid Garrett

We already flagged the absurdity of Dallas Cowboys coach Jason Garrett's announcement that this year's rookies will have to earn the right to wear the logo of a team that's hasn't won anything since those rookies were in the Pop Warner Tiny-Mite division. Go ahead, treat the Cowboy star as a rah-rah prize, like a… »8/02/11 11:29am8/02/11 11:29am