Name Of The Year 2014 Final: Shamus Beaglehole Vs. Chillie Poon

This is it. This is the showdown we've waited an entire year for (OK, more like five months). In one corner, we have Shamus Beaglehole: English footballer, #3 seed of the Sithole Regional, vanquisher of Curvaceous Bass and Dr. Loki Skylizard, and bearer of a last name that sounds like an old man's curmudgeonly insult.… » 4/11/14 10:59am 4/11/14 10:59am

2014 Name Of The Year: The Final Four

We're nearing the summit of this year's tourney, and the venerable spirits of Assumption Bulltron, Godfrey Sithole, Crescent Dragonwagon, and Doby Chrotchtangle have each found favor with a champion. These four, this exalted 16th of the starting field, are all that remain as our competition enters its final stages. One … » 4/08/14 1:45pm 4/08/14 1:45pm

2014 Name of the Year: Round Two, And A Note On Middle Names

Before we get to the second round of our tournament, I'd like to share a tip we received from a reader named Jeffrey. Jeffrey is not himself a Name of the Year nominee, but he is a Brandeis alum familiar with Mingus Mapps, the Bulltron Regional's 8-seed and a Brandeis poli-sci professor. » 3/28/14 1:46pm 3/28/14 1:46pm

2014 Name of the Year: Dragonwagon and Chrotchtangle Regionals, Round 1

We love it when our name-inees display some competitive spirit, so we were thrilled to receive an email in that vein last night from Bulltron competitor Bernie Wagenblast. Here's what he had to say: » 3/26/14 4:32pm 3/26/14 4:32pm

2014 Name Of The Year: Bulltron And Sithole Regionals, Round 1

The 2014 Name of the Year tournament kicks off today in the quadrants named after Assumption Bulltron, crowned the first-ever Name of the Decade, and Godfrey Sithole, the 1985 Name of the Year champion. » 3/25/14 1:56pm 3/25/14 1:56pm

Presenting The 2014 Name Of The Year Bracket, A Shitavious Gruntfest

Name of the Year dates to the fall of 1982 and names taped to a dorm-room door on an Ivy campus: Dexter Manley, Cornelius Boza-Edwards, Baskerville Holmes. The following spring, Hector (Macho) Camacho was elected the first Name of the Year. What can we say? The first basketball baskets didn't have holes in the bottom.… » 3/21/14 3:16pm 3/21/14 3:16pm

Report: The New Orleans Hornets Will Soon Become The New Orleans…

Marc J. Spears says it, so it must be so: The New Orleans Hornets will soon become the New Orleans Pelicans. It's a nice little name, and it's battle-tested—the New Orleans baseball Pelicans existed most every season from 1887 until 1959—so it won't soon reek of turn-of-the-century-futurespeak like "Heat," "Thunder,"… » 12/04/12 7:15pm 12/04/12 7:15pm

Name The Royal Baby!

I have no idea what the protocol is for naming an heir to throne of England. I assume that Prince William and Kate Middleton are free to think up names as they please, before the queen walks in with a terrifying grimace and her dumb corgis and politely tells the couple that none of their names will ever do and that the … » 12/04/12 4:15pm 12/04/12 4:15pm

The Baltimore Ravens Accidentally Sent Their Gameplan To Dennis Pitta, …

Dennis Pitta is a tight end for the Baltimore Ravens. Dennis Pitta is also a professor at the University of Baltimore. Stay with me, now. There are two different Dennis Pittas in Baltimore, one more famous than the other, and because of this, Professor Pitta gets a lot of unintended correspondence, including gameplans … » 11/01/12 1:43pm 11/01/12 1:43pm

Usage Note: "It's The Dallas Football Cowboys," Says Jason Stupid Garrett

We already flagged the absurdity of Dallas Cowboys coach Jason Garrett's announcement that this year's rookies will have to earn the right to wear the logo of a team that's hasn't won anything since those rookies were in the Pop Warner Tiny-Mite division. Go ahead, treat the Cowboy star as a rah-rah prize, like a… » 8/02/11 11:29am 8/02/11 11:29am

The Name Of The Year Bracket Is Out! Taco Monster Says NOM NOM NOM NOM

The Name of the Year Bracket has been released! Holy RexAchilles! That means it's time for Spencer Hall and I to formally go through the bracket in our annual Name of the Year podcast. You can listen here, or click the iTunes link to the show here. Quickly, let me take you through the top four seeds from each region: » 4/06/11 5:35pm 4/06/11 5:35pm

Being Dave Matthews: A Brief History

1985: "Robert Randolph" on the birth certificate, but he'll go by "Randy." That's the original plan. Named after his grandfathers. Then Dad starts having doubts. He's a Robert too—doesn't want his son to be Little Bob or Bobby like he had been. So one day, it just hits my parents. "David Andrew." David Matthews. Dave. A new… » 8/13/10 6:50pm 8/13/10 6:50pm