I have no idea how mankind got by before the invention of cheerleaders. How did we fight wars? Who ran our car washes and bake sales? In 2008, cheerleaders stepped to the forefront like never before, in part due to technology. For the first time, they were photographing themselves in the nude, and distributing those photos via cell phone. We truly live in a golden age. Here's a rundown of all that transpired in the world of cheerleading:

• Scribbled anti-Semitic imagery on drunken friends.

• Oh, and penises.

• Got nude, took photos of themselves, texted them to the high school football team (by mistake!).

• Got more nude, even though only in middle school.

• Risked their lives in the name of school spirit!

• When wearing clothes, argued over what kind.

• Frolicked with Dick Vitale and Stuart Scott.

• Cheered for NFL teams, even though only in high school.

• Were sometimes, inexplicably, guys.

• Baked cupcakes with sugar, flour, and just a touch of love ... oh, and rat poison.

• Got soaking wet for charity.

• Generally ran amok.

• Restored our faith in human nature.

Apparently cheerleaders are at it again, posing sans clothing for cell photos and then being surprised when the pictures show up everywhere. When the school janitor has them, that's an indication the situation is out of control. Steven DeSimone, the former custodian at Harding Middle School in Steubenville, Ohio, is facing charges after several pictures of topless cheerleaders were allegedly found on his cell phone.

In an impressive display of good judgment, DeSimone allegedly was showing the pictures to other students, which is how he got caught.

Bonus: We get this from The State Journal, which just may be the greatest paragraph ever written, anywhere:

We are learning that all four of the pictures were naked cheerleaders exposing their tops. Detectives said that after confiscating his phone, it has been sent away and is under going testing to determine how the pictures got there. Decimone was suppose to be in court yesterday, but his attorney did not show up.

What was sent away, the phone, or DeSimone? This damned story poses more questions than it answers.

Janitor Allegedly Has Naked Pictures Of Students On Phone [WTRF]

Attorney Michael King appeared on The Early Show (with Harry Smith and Maggie Rodriguez!) to contend that the girls are being treated unfairly. Why have they been suspended, when the persons who actually distributed the photos are not being punished, or even investigated?

Also, one of the photos allegedly was not even taken when the girls were in high school.

King concedes that, "The student code of the conduct does say that athletes are held to a higher standard. The problem that we have — one of my clients took the photo back when she was 13, before she even was a student at the school and the photo, unfortunately, has been following her around from grade level to grade level. As a result, I find it difficult to believe she can be punished for something violating a code of conduct that she simply had no knowledge of until after she got into high school."

Oh, we haven't heard the end of this. Your move, Chris Hansen.

But there is some good news here. Apparently, peanut butter is now a dessert!

Cheerleaders' Nude Photos Spark Dispute [CBS News]