Ziegler, a reliever, pitched two scoreless innings on Sunday at the Coliseum to take sole possession of the record, with 27. That passed this man, George McQuillan, who by the look of things had a pretty odd delivery himself. McQuillan set the mark at 25 with Philadelphia in 1907.

Ziegler vital statistics:

• Has had two skull fractures; by a line drive in 2004 and again by a thrown ball last offseason.

• He was released by the Phillies in 2003 and signed with the Schaumburg Flyers of the independent Northern League. He played there one season before moving to the Class-A Stockton Ports. The Phillies only gave Ziegler six innings in the minors before releasing him.

• Even though he ranked second in strikeouts (144) in the California League in 2005 and second in ERA (3.37) in the Class-AA Texas League in 2006, minor-league pitching instructor Ron Romanick asked Ziegler to become a sidearm pitcher in 2007. "No, I absolutely was not open to it," Ziegler said. "I had just posted good numbers in consecutive seasons and was like, 'If that's not good enough, what do I have to do?' "

• He's a blogger! Ziegler has authored "Getting Ziggy With It" at Athletics Nation since Jan., 2007.

• Lived in the same dorm as the Phillies' Ryan Howard when both attended Southwest Missouri State, and also roomed with Howard at spring training in 2004.

Too bad the Athletics can't keep any of their other quality pitchers around for more than a week.

A's Ziegler Took Hits On Way To Bigs [SFGate]
Ziegler Sets Record In A's Win [SFGate]

The great Lajoie didn’t have fans charting his every move before he turned professional. The marvelous Wheat was allowed to develop at his own pace. Even the greatest of them all, King Kelly, wasn’t burdened with Gibraltar-sized expectations when he commenced his career. So it is little surprise that The Cape Cod God, Evan Longoria, whose unfortunate nomenclatory resemblance to the Latina Mary Pickford (and honorary First Lady of the Cagers) has caused much jocularity in the dressing room, has struggled since joining the big club.

Consider the hitlessness and the doubting as forgotten as the Rosewood Riots, for the Man With The N delivered a two-run Trump Card for the Mantas as they continued their recent dominion over the Oaklands, 7-6 in a baker’s dozen of innings. Longoria’s Long Sock was a Stop’N’Stare job that, had the game been played not in a stadium but in an open field (as it is meant to be), would have traveled the proverbial country mile. This Bakerian Blast gave the Saint Pete Saints their fourth straight left-columner over this left coast nine—a stunning development considering the no longer Satanic Rays were once as feeble as the U.S. dollar in the East Bay, losing thirty of the first thirty-six times they took the ill-maintained McAfee Coliseum terrain.

The Decidedly Not Saucy Longoria’s savage slug gave the Sunshine Staters a cushion they would need, for the Athletically Inclined Ones declined to go quietly into the darkness. Dynamite Daric Barton smashed an offering from Tampa anchorman Troy “Gold Watch” Percival that went 374 feet, though it needed to go 375. The initial sacker with the Slavic-spelling legged out a three-bagger that plated Emil “You’ll Put Your Eye Out” Brown, and poised to sheepshank the contest. But the retiree on the rubber induced a foul pop off the ash of the Wailuku Wonder, Kurt Suzuki, and the Oaklands bid aloha to another V.

The dramatics capped a dizzying doozy, one with more twists and turns than a Sidewinder (the reptile, not the missile). It appeared for much of the day’s doings that the lead in the drama would be awarded to The Big Ouch himself, Frank Thomas. The Whacking War Eagle bullied a brace of balls over the planking, both off James “One Is Enough” Shields. The Injurious One hadn’t cranked a Long Sock in over a century’s worth of abdominals, coming up 102 times before getting hold of one. The new homerless streak ended at the loneliest number, as Thomas completed the brace with another cannonade toward the Bay Bridge, equating matters at four apiece. Thought to be a candidate for the woodpile after his unceremonious departure from the Northern Territories, No Doubting Thomas has been a veritable Dudley Do-Right since returning to Tupac Town.

With an octet of scores evenly divided between the two clubs, both made a dash for the tape. Akinori “Faster Than The Rising Sun” Iwamura stroked a screamer in the seventh innings to get the Gator Staters’s noses in front, but an innings later, it was a draw once more, as Ryan “The Goblin” Sweeney sliced a safety to starboard, plating the tying tally. Five-all, and nary a soul enjoying their refreshments in the grandstand dared depart their seat, leading to a multitude of crossed legs throughout the ground.

An unlikely Ulysses emerged during the ensuing stretch of scoreless base ball—Jason “Tender Tucchus” Hammel, who is more accustomed to spectating from the best seat in the house than actually crossing the White Lines. Indeed, the High Pocketed Observer hadn’t hurled in anger in nearly a fortnight, but there was no rust buildup despite the long stretch on sentry duty. Hammel handcuffed the hitters who dared wave an ash his way, allowing a single safety in a three innings tour of duty. A pleasant surprise for skip “20-200” Maddon, and a third V (against two Ds) for the twirler, who complained of exhaustion afterward. The troika of innings encompassed the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth, and set the stage for the denouement in the hard luck innings.

After a duo of spine-snapping heartbreakers to Middle America’s Team while the nation took a break from toil, the tweeners from Tampa celebrated being on the side that didn’t surrender its colors after an epic struggle. It is a leap of Knievalesque proportions to proffer that these base balling elasmobranches are a threat for Octoberfest, much less make it to the Last Banquet of Fall. Given their persistent ineptitude since inception, however, it is gladdening to witness a potent heartbeat from the downtrodden Sunshine Boys. The Renaissance comes after shedding any Beelzebub overtones from the franchise. Coincidence? More like an exorcism. Getting first choice from the larder has stocked the spread with an epicurean’s delight of prime beef talents—and even more, like David “The Vandy Vapor Trail” Price, await promotion to the First Battalion from the reserve corps on the farm. Optimism Unbound in Tampa—if this keeps up, one will have to acknowledge the presence of another Crack Committee of Base Ball People in the region, one that has no Steinbrennerian affiliation.

Much credit to the ink-stained wretches of the Bay Area, many of whom have stepped up to give it a shot. So far, the winner, from the Oakland Tribune, is Pat Craig. His booty:

Four dogs, one order of nachos, a bag of peanuts, an ice cream sandwich and a bag of popcorn

(Actually, Eric Louie of the Contra Costa Times did knock down 12 hot dogs.)

Not bad, but surely, someone out there can do better. Though eating a full bag of peanuts is quite the underrated endeavor. We salute all those who undergo such a physical challenge.

Top Dog! Journalism All-You-Can-Eat Leaderboard [Busted Coverage]

Most toilets in China are still of the squat rather than sit-down variety, as spectators and competitors at recent test events in otherwise state of the art venues like the "Water Cube" aquatics centre discovered. "In my personal point of view, there are cultural differences between Chinese and Western people. Chinese are more used to squat toilets," said Yao Hui, a senior official responsible for the management of Olympic venues. "Toilet alteration projects at the Bird's Nest (National Stadium), the Water Cube and National Indoor Stadium are ongoing and if technical conditions permit, all the toilets in these stadiums will be changed."

Meanwhile, in Japan, toilet technology is light years ahead of that in China. The Boston Red Sox and Oakland Athletics came home from their two-game series in Tokyo raving about the toilets. They practically could talk of nothing else. Said Oakland's Emil Brown:

"The toilets are the best. Do we have those? I mean, they're, like, way ahead of us as far as putting stuff out there."

Best feature, according to Brown: The heated seats.

But when he says that Japan's toilet technology is ahead of ours, I have to laugh (photo below from Dave Barry's blog).

A's Turn Up The Heat On Red Sox [Yahoo Sports]
No More Squatting In Water Cube Toilets, Beijing Says [Guardian UK]

Not that anyone should be having a big pity party for the Red Sox or anything, but they now have to fly to Los Angeles for a three-game set in the L.A. Coliseum. A nifty idea, sure, but more schedule goofiness to deal with. Real games with much pomp, then fake games with much pomp, before heading to Oakland for some muted pomp, then to Toronto, then, finally, back to Boston on April 8.

The Red Sox are the signature franchise in baseball now, and to the winner goes ... well, a completely spoiled start to the season. But hey: Manny homered today, and, as we all know, he never knows what city he's in anyway.

A's 5, Red Sox 1 [Boston.com]

So, here goes:

1. Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim: We actually never like picking these guys, and not just because of their name. But they still seem to be the class of this division over here.
2. Oakland Athletics. We will always, always pick these guys one spot higher than they actually should be. Damn you, Michael Lewis!
3. Seattle Mariners: Put us in the camp that believes last year was an overperformance, rather than the start of something exciting, Bedard or no.
4. Texas Rangers: Hopefully they'll be able to overcome the loss of Sammy Sosa. We're not sure we have, not yet.

We would love to hear justifications as to how a team other than the Angels win this division. Tomorrow, the National League Central.

Manny Ramirez was the main hero, with four RBIs, including a two-run double in the 10th, but you have to admire Brandon Moss, who, filling in for an (amazingly!) injured J.D. Drew, hit his first major league home run in the top of the ninth. In Japan. At the Tokyo Dome. That seems like a difficult ball to get back.

The A's made a little run at Jonathan Papelbon — who looked awful, we might add — in the 10th, but Emil Brown stupidly run into an out after an RBI double, and Joe Morgan smiled a little.

So, the Red Sox grind out a win, and the A's got a lot of walks but didn't hit much. (And Jack Cust struck out four times.) We're obviously well on track.

We're not gonna do anything stupid and try to live blog the game tomorrow — we leave that to

Tyler Bleszinski is the editor of Athletics Nation. His words are after the jump.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—--

I once interviewed Billy Beane and he compared the Oakland A's to the 80s Latin pop sensation Menudo. He said, "It is like Menudo, where guys reach a certain age and are kicked out of the band. And they go on to be Ricky Martins somewhere else."

That was in 2006 when he said this. Never has this been truer than the offseason in 2007-2008. Beane decided to basically jettison emerging stars in Nick Swisher and Danny Haren. But he did so in hoping that this next version of Menudo would be bigger than anything he had previously constructed.

2007 was a lost season for the Oakland Athletics, but largely because they lost more players to injury than in any season in Oakland Athletics history. In fact, the 54 players used during 2007 was the second highest number in franchise history in one season. Only the 1915 Philadelphia Athletics used more players in one season. They used 56 players.

That issue, and the fact that many of the players coming back to the A's this year had injury histories, prompted Billy Beane to accelerate a rebuilding plan for the green and gold. Three key components to the A's are coming off major surgeries. And one has been a nonentity for the A's for two seasons now. Eric Chavez had surgery on his back and shoulder this offseason. Justin Duchscherer and Chad Gaudin both had hip surgery. And Rich Harden is, well, he resides in the Guinness Book of World Records under "World's Largest Question Mark."

That led to Beane selling some of the teams' best assets in favor of prospects who replenished the A's system but won't necessarily make an appearance in 2008. Nick Swisher, Danny Haren and super-sub Marco Scutaro were all traded to the White Sox, Diamondbacks and Blue Jays respectively. Mark Kotsay was also moved as well in a deal to Atlanta.

The A's got back a bunch of players who are thought to be very high-upside prospects. In 2008, they will probably mix a few of the players they acquired. Dana Eveland is likely to be with the team and possibly Ryan Sweeney. Carlos Gonzalez has a chance to be a part of the team as soon as opening day if he can make a splash in spring training. And Brett Anderson could also see some time with the team this year.

But for the most part, the A's will be going with basically what's left over on their roster in 2008. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, because Beane kick started the extreme makeover mid-season last year. Gone was light-hitting and expensive catcher Jason Kendall in favor of youngster Kurt Suzuki. Gone was oft-injured Milton Bradley in favor of Travis Buck. Dan Johnson wound up essentially being pushed aside for phenom Daric Barton. Mike Piazza got injured and wound up being replaced at DH by Jack Cust. Cust, Suzuki, Buck and Barton are going to be the foundation of an offense that has the potential to be significantly better than 2007. If Steve Austin, ahem, I mean Eric Chavez finally got what has ailed him for several seasons fixed, he could also be a key to the offense actually having some life this season after several years of a sludge-like offense. If Gonzalez lives up to expectations and becomes a regular, then the A's should have the makings of a pretty damn good offense over the next few seasons. They also picked up some experience in Mike Sweeney recently so he should be a good right-handed stick if he can manage to somehow avoid the DL.

The biggest question marks with the A's this season will be with the rotation.

Joe Blanton may or may not start the year with the team. His name is making the rounds on the rumor circuit right now, and it wouldn't be surprising to see him dealt for a package similar to what the A's got for Swisher. Beane doesn't really do rebuilding in a half-assed fashion, so seeing Blanton traded for a package of young players wouldn't shock anyone.

The aforementioned Justin Duchscherer will be making the transition from bullpen to starter, which shouldn't be a big transition for him because he was an excellent starter in the minors before becoming one of baseball's best set-up men. The question becomes, can he stay healthy pitching all those innings after hip surgery in the offseason? He's also had a myriad of back issues.

Chad Gaudin was a huge surprise last season making a similar transition. He was dominant in the first couple of months in the season only to fall off a cliff later in the year which was likely the result of his injury. Beane once told me that he felt like Gaudin had the best arm in the organization behind Rich Harden. And he's still young. He'll turn 25 the day before the season opens in Japan against the Red Sox.

Harden is the eternal question mark. He recently went on the record saying that he felt as though his injury issues were exacerbated by someone in the A's organization that basically encouraging him to try and pitch when he wasn't fully healthy. Of course, he didn't mention whom that person was. Harden allegedly followed his own rehab path this past offseason and claims that he is 100 percent healthy for the first time in several years. Whether that translates to more than 10 starts this year is anyone's guess. But obviously his presence makes the A's a much more formidable team in the scope of the AL West.

The fifth spot in the rotation is up for grabs. Dan Meyer, Lenny DiNardo, Dana Eveland, Kirk Saarloos and a bunch of other guys who've made cameos in the spot before. My bet is that Eveland will emerge as the fifth starter.

As for the bullpen, it actually shapes up pretty nicely with Andrew Brown (came over in the Bradley trade), Alan Embree, Huston Street and, believe it or not, former A's closer Keith Foulke is back in the mix. The A's have enough solid arms in the pen along with whatever pitchers don't make it as the fifth starter to be a decent collection of relief. It won't be the best pen in baseball, but it looks more solid than people think. Especially if Foulke is truly healthy and back in form the A's will essentially have three pitchers who have the ability to close games (Embree showed he is up for the task last season when Street was out for an extended time).

The 2008 A's will feature a lot of young and unproven players like Buck, Barton, Chris Denorfia (who came over in a deal and was injured for the year), Suzuki, Eveland and Gonzalez. And Beane is probably not done dealing. Street and Blanton could also be dealt to set the team up for future dominance and its move to Fremont, California.

There are so many unknown quantities for the A's. Will Harden be healthy for a full season and if he is, does that make him really attractive trade bait as well? Will Blanton and Street be dealt and if they are, do the A's get some players who could help immediately? Will the A's young guns like Buck and Barton take the leap forward most expect? Will Duchscherer, Chavez and Gaudin be fully healthy? And will the A's continue to have to use the DL more than any other team in baseball?

That's a lot of questions that need positive answers in order for the A's to be anything other than AL West cellar dwellers in 2008. But stranger things have happened. The best thing about the A's is that with all the moves that Beane has made, you just know that the team will rise to the top of the MLB again in the very near future and this time, it appears like the team will be great for a very long time. Fortunately, the same can't be said about Ricky Martin and the rest of Menudo.

And oh, check who's feelin' Stomper's flow in the background: Harry!

Stomper The Beatboxing Elephant [The FanHouse]

You see, someone someone threw a water bottle at him. And they'll pay: Oh, yes, they will pay.

"I'm pressing charges on him," Piazza said. "It hit me right on the helmet. It's typical. As soon as you turn and confront the guy, he walks out. Just another gutless act. What are you going to do? It's a joke." Piazza talked with Anaheim police in the clubhouse after the game and agreed to walk upstairs to give the police further information.

We certainly do not advocate sending projectiles hurtling toward professional athletes, even Mike Piazza, whom we suspect the fan was just trying to remind that he was due for another dye job. But you have to love Anaheim; they don't throw beer in Anaheim, they throw bottled water.

Piazza Plans To Sue Angels Fan [San Jose Mercury News]

Tonight, the summer of Pants Parties continues: We'll be hitting ole Shea Stadium for the A's-Mets showdown. DiNardo! Glavine! Eight dollar beers! Welcome to New York.

In three weeks — and more details to come on this once Daulerio gets his act in gear — it'll be a Philadelphia Pants Party, with Miami and Seattle coming later this summer. (Someone should set up a Web site for these. Well, other than this one.) So if you're at the game tonight, or just watching at home, look for us: We'll be the ones making it rain in the upper deck.

And now, jeez, the guy has exploded. In his last four games, he has five homers and 12 RBIs, including his insane walk-off homer yesterday. He's still living in a hotel and has been back in the majors for a week.

It has been amusing to watch his nuttiness, if just to monitor his father's Web site. His dad is a famous hitting instructor, sort of the new Tom Emanski, minus the cheesy Fred McGriff videos. We suppose his son finally emerging as a non-failure as a hitter can only help business, though we still want to see if Cust can throw a ball in a little tube from center field. Always impressed by that.

Is Billy Beane David Copperfield? [The Smittblog]
Jack Cust Baseball [Official Site]

All right, last one of the day until tomorrow ... we think this is actually the easiest division to pick, which is why, obviously, we're going to have it entirely wrong.

1. Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim. That pitching staff is a little crazy, and hey, look, it's Gary Matthews. Nice to have you here, man!
2. Texas Rangers. If the Rangers win the World Series this year, Showalter's officially hanging himself.
3. Oakland Athletics. We can see things taking a bad turn this year, though we still hope they enjoy all the ghost-riding.
4. Seattle Mariners. It's cute that they keep playing, it really is.

All right, take us home ... big day tomorrow, so play all night and rest up.

Well, we're less than a month away from the start of baseball — spring training is here! — so it's time to do the same thing in the baseball world. Every weekday until the start of the season, a different writer will preview his/her team. We asked a gaggle of writers, from the Web, from print, from books, to tell us, in as many or as little words as they need, Where Their Team Stands. This is not meant to be factual, or dispassionate, or even logical: We just asked them to riff on why they love their team so much, or what their team means to them, or whatever.

Today: The Oakland A's. Your author is Melissa Lockard.

Melissa Lockard writes the AthleticSupporter site, and she also began the OaklandClubhouse.com site on the Scout.com network, where she covers the A's minor league system. Her words are after the jump.

—-—-—-—-—-—-

It's a storyline so clich , you would have thought it was written by Paul Haggis. Every year, it seems, the obituaries are written during spring training. The once powerful Oakland A's are dead at last, destined for third place in the AL West, thanks to the loss of XYZ superstar player. Then the season starts and the team stumbles out of the gate, usually punctuated by a late-April/early-May series sweep in New York, followed by some horrible loss in Tampa Bay or Kansas City. Wasting no time, national "writers" such as Phil Rogers and Murray Chass jump at the chance to conclude that, once and for all, computers cannot play baseball (usually while at the same time concluding that college punters are exceptionally good at it). By the time these scribes finish pecking away at their Smith Corona Classic 12 typewriters, a funny thing has happened: The computers have rebooted and the A's have started winning.

This generally happens right around the start of interleague play (the A's are tied with the Yankees for the most interleague wins since the start of the schedule; thanks Bud Selig!) and usually doesn't end until some horribly painful, but all-important series in late September or early October. By the time September rolls around, the same scribes are manually typing the same incredulous stories about how Billy Beane has once again pulled a rabbit out of a hat and guided his team into postseason contention.

The ending of this story is also sadly predictable. The exact date and location may change, but the meltdown always occurs. In 2000-2003, the meltdowns took place during the American League Divisional Series. To keep it fresh, the team found different ways to take a win and make it a loss every time. One year, it was a routine flyball lost in the dusk by a man who should have never been allowed to play centerfield (but, amusingly, was allowed to continue playing out in center for two more seasons). The next year, it was a non-slide of a back-up DH who was only on first base because his manager forgot he had a speedy Eric Byrnes available to pinch-run.

The year after, it was Billy Koch, who so thoroughly imploded in the ninth inning of Game 5 that a three-run homer in the bottom half of the inning still wasn't enough to tie the game. The year after, it was a remarkable inability to touch home-plate by not one, but two players in the same inning (!), making one wonder if it would have even mattered if Art Howe had pinch-run Byrnes back in 2001 since he probably would have missed home plate anyway (although he probably would have shoved Derek Jeter, which may have made the whole thing worth it).

The script changed slightly in 2004 and 2005, as the team managed to save its fans the scarring image of another playoff loss by melting down in the final weeks of the regular season rather than in the playoffs. And then, in 2006, the team thought it would be fun to win a playoff series and really get its fanbase excited before folding the tent and going home (the Magglio Ordonez walk-off was an especially nice, Kirk Gibson-esque touch).

And so we come to 2007. Once again, the scribes are busy writing those familiar articles. "How will the A's survive the loss of Barry Zito and Frank Thomas?" "How will the team compete with the lowest payroll in the division?" and "What the heck is VORP, anyway, and how does it compete with the Rally Monkey?"

It doesn't take Allison DuBois to see how this will all play out. The team will stink at the start of the season, and by mid-May, everyone (including myself, probably, as I never learn) will declare the team dead. Then the A's will rattle off 30 wins in a 40-game period and suddenly by the All-Star Break, they will have the division lead in their sights. After the break, the A's will either make a trade no one was expecting or they will welcome back one of their injured players. Said roster change will be the catalyst for a torrid August, during which time, they will take control of the division.

Come September, they will have either built up enough of a lead to hold off the Angels/Mariners/Rangers for first place, or they will crumble in the final week and lose the division, probably by allowing Jose Molina or Willie Bloomquist to hit a walk-off home run in the decisive game. If they survive September, the A's will then embark on another playoff adventure, which will end in some gruesome fashion, probably involving Nick Swisher running the bases the wrong way after a game-winning homer, which will disallow the runs or something like that.

Or this will be the year that the wheels really do fall off, and Joe Morgan will smugly blame it all on Billy Beane taking too much time to write Moneyball?

Here are a five keys to the 2007 season:

1) Rich Harden and Dan Haren must stay healthy. Barry Zito was easily the third most talented pitcher on the A's staff last season, and while neither Harden nor Haren have sung (badly) with John Mayer or have dated Alyssa Milano, both should be far more successful than Zito was last season if they don't get hurt. If either goes down for an extended period of time, the A's pitching staff will be decidedly mediocre.

2) Milton Bradley must rake and stay healthy. Bradley is the most talented member of the A's roster and could easily be an All-Star this season. He could just as easily blow out a hamstring during the season's second week and miss most of the season. The A's need him in the lineup and producing to avoid being the worst offensive team in the league.

3) Huston Street needs his mojo back. Street blew 11 saves last season, and his ERA went up more than a run from his rookie season. Yet his peripheral stats would suggest that he actually was just as good last season as he was in 2005. Last year, he joined an illustrious list of A's closers who have allowed dramatic homeruns in the playoffs. Will he recover like Dennis Eckersley or end up heckling the Blue Jays from the bleachers like Billy Koch? I'm guessing the former, but we'll have to wait and see. Fantasy sleeper: If Street struggles early in the season, look for Justin Duchscherer to gobble up some saves. He may be the best reliever in the league that very few people have heard of.

4) Marco Scutaro needs to stop poking pins in the Bobby Crosby voodoo doll. Since being named the A's starting shortstop in 2004, Crosby has managed to crash violently into two players (injuring himself and his teammates in the process), break his ribs and his back by swinging too hard, get badly spiked at second taking a throw during a 15-2 Opening Day blowout and break his ankle slamming into the leg of the brick wall that is Sal Fasano. It seems hard to believe that one man could incur so much bad luck, until you consider who has benefited the most from Crosby's absence: Marco Scutaro. Scutaro made the team in 2004 when Crosby took-out Mark Ellis in a spring training collision. Scutaro was then saved from the final team cuts in 2005 when Crosby broke his ribs. And last season, Scutaro was only given the opportunity to single-handedly bring down the Minnesota Twins and Steve Lyons in the playoffs because Crosby was hurt. I'm just saying...

5) Billy Beane needs to get trigger happy again. It has been three seasons since Billy Beane pulled off a mid-season "Fuckin-A" trade, and the natives are getting restless. From 1999-2003, Beane could always be counted on to make an "out-of-nowhere" trade that strengthened the A's midseason and made Pat Gillick and the Mariners cry. However, since that time, Beane has been eerily quiet during the season. Oh, sure, there has been the trade for the occasional spare part like Jay Payton or Joe Kennedy, but we expect more. I can only imagine that Beane has been saving up his energy these past three seasons for the biggest and baddest "Fuckin-A" deal of all-time. I'm predicting seven teams and A-Rod's involvement somewhere.

Gamba, a former Raiders cheerleader, was fired by the team in 2003 for posing for a porn site (sorry, it doesn't say which one). She then went on to Playboy. But here's one thing Swisher may not know. Gamba, along with fellow Playboy model Carrie Minter, were once arrested for alleged public intoxication on a San Antonio-bound flight, and then for "making sexual advances" to police in an attempt to avoid the charges.

According to a police report, Gamba and Minter were "yelling and cussing" and were "intoxicated to the point that they were a threat" to themselves and others. Arresting officers noted that the women, who got rowdy on a two-hour Frontier Airlines flight from Denver, had slurred speech, watery eyes, and reeked of booze. Gamba (identified in the report as AP2, or arrested person 2) was also "continually using the word Fuck," while Minter (AP1) "just sat there crying and yelling."

SbB also points us to Gamba's online resume, which curiously mentions none of these things, not even the nude modeling. To which we say, models have resumes? Wouldn't an airline security photo suffice?

Swisher's New (Nude) Dish Is Danielle Gamba [SbB]
Big Busts At San Antonio Airport [Smoking Gun]
Danielle Gamba Resume [DanielleGamba.com]

(UPDATE: Nick Swisher's rep emails us and says this story is "100 percent not accurate." So there's that.)

Ghostriding. For those of you too white — unlike us; we're totally down, totally, totally, absolutely — to be familiar with the practice, ghostriding "involves the driver and/or passengers of any given vehicle exiting while it is still rolling and dancing beside it or on the hood or roof." We've never done this, but this sounds extremely fun.

Anyway, two A's fans, who appear to be even whiter than we are, decided to protest the A's impending move from Oakland to Fremont with some ghostriding. It's kind of grueling to watch, though we did enjoy that they referred to Fremont as "a parking lot with a mayor."

We are not as familiar with the Bay Area and Northern California as we should be, so we're gonna hand it off to a reader to describe Fremont for us.

As a former Oakland resident, this makes me very sad. Yes, the Oakland Coliseum is kind of a pit, and is perched in the vaguely Mad Max-esque industrial wasteland out by the airport, but at least Oakland is a real place with a real identity. Fremont is essentially five separate towns that were amalgamated into one municipality in the 50s; it's endless soulless exurban sprawl-a-rama, and the ONLY thing it has going for it is that its the one corner of Silicon Valley that isn't in Santa Clara or San Mateo counties (which MLB has handed over to the Giants as their fiefdom).

Uh ... ugh. Though we like the idea of the "Silicon Valley A's." What does Athletics Nation have to say about this?

This can wind up being a Pirates situation where the new ballpark doesn't do much for the team in terms of attendance OR as I think it will probably go, a new ballpark is a drawing card for Californians. Californians are a different breed. While many of us here on AN live and die with every single move our A's make, the majority of those who follow baseball casually in the Bay Area probably don't realize Macha has been fired and Ron Washington is now the manager of a rival team. In order to fill a stadium regularly, you need to get those people there. And I'm sorry, but the Coliseum was woefully inadequate on nights when it was full. I remember going to the ALCS game and not being able to move in the walkways just to go get a freaking soda. It would take 20 minutes to a half an hour just to get to the front of a line and order a Mountain Dew.

Wait ... Ken Macha was fired?

Plans Underway For New Stadium In Fremont [KCBS]
Do You Know The Way To Fremont A's? [Athletics Nation]

Oh, and he had some good times back in the day, apparently. The good folks at NBX.com have hired Stewart to do some postseason commentary and, as a bonus side, begun a series called "After Hours With Dave Stewart," in which he discusses some of the off-the-field fun his old A's teams had.

And the first entry is a doozy, with Dave discussing a "sand party" with Carney Lansford and other teammates. In case you had any doubt left in your mind what the life of a baseball player is like during the season, this should pretty much clear it up for you.

It's called "The Anaconda Story." Enjoy.

After Hours With Dave Stewart [NBX.com]

• Nate Robertson's Gum Time. No doubt it was Gum Time tonight. I had two packs in. They had me miked up for the broadcast. Skip nominated me to get miked up for the game tonight. I don't know how much coverage I had out there. I think I was the only one to throw it in, but down 3-1, why not? So I threw in a couple packs, get a little rally going. They actually weren't in my mouth. Half of the gum was hanging out of my mouth. It was pretty ugly.

• Athletics Nation. Don't get me wrong, I don't like going down 2-0 at home. The A's are now officially the underdogs in the series no matter how you slice it, having simply been outpitched, outhit, and outfielded in two home games, off to face their nemesis, Kenny Rogers, in less friendly confines. But tonight's game was a microcosm of why there is hope for the series as a whole. Tonight, the A's looked like they were cooked only to rise up and get Milton Bradley to the plate representing the tying run, only to go a step further and get Frank Thomas to the plate representing the winning run. Perhaps the series will follow the same script and the A's have some rising yet to do. The A's are down, but they're far from out. Frank Thomas hasn't hit his last high fly ball yet. Let's hope his last one has the distance.

• Detroit Tigers Weblog. I'm still nervous. It was only 2 weeks ago that the Tigers played a home weekend series against the worst team in the league needing merely 1 win. They couldn't do it. Now the Tigers need 2 wins against a team that has proved to be very good, even if they haven't shown it yet this series. Some people are saying that the Tigers learned from that series, and that it made them a better team. I don't know if that's true or not, but as fans it would be silly to forget what went down.

• Tiger Blog. What a game by Alexis Gomez. I immediately questioned why Leyland would throw him in there, and then of course he started driving in runs. He hit a two run seeing eye single in the fourth and then a he hit a huge two run homerun in the sixth inning. The other questionable hitter in the lineup was Neifi Perez. He was the only Tiger who didn't reach base last night. It was a big fat nothing.

Yes, folks, the Tigers have that look, that 2004 Red Sox look, or 2005 White Sox look. The look of a team that is absolutely going to stomp everyone. We know that's an incredibly bizarre thing to say about a team that's named the Detroit Tigers, but they just won two games on the road and now have a chance to clinch a trip to the World Series in their own park. We would have never imagined it.

By the way, it is distressing to feel like you're a baseball fan, like you pay awfully close attention to the sport that you love the most ... and then some guy named Alexis Gomez knocks in four runs and you've never heard of him. At least it wasn't Neifi Perez.

Oakland Pitching Not Getting All A's [SI.com]

• Athletics Nation. Tonight was essentially George Costanza's opposite day. At least on the defensive front. And it wasn't just the Jimenez error, although that was huge. Swisher not getting an out on the Granderson play. Chavez missing a ball that he vaccuumed up during the regular season. It just wasn't the A's on the defensive side. If that's the right way, I don't wanna be right.

• Detroit Tiger Weblog. So far the extent of Sean Casey's injury still isn't known and won't be until (1.) he wakes up, and (2.) he gets some diagnostics (i.e. MRI). What we do know is that my fears have come to fruition and Neifi Perez will be getting the nod at shortstop with Carlos Guillen going to first. This is my problem with Perez. It isn't that he's bad to have as a 25th guy, it's that Jim Leyland uses him as a 10th guy. I know that we're not supposed to criticize Leyland, but the decision to carry Infante/Perez/Santiago was a poor one.

• Mack Avenue Tigers. Seriously, don't write Oakland off after one game. I've read some opinions, writers and normal folk alike, and it would be a mistake to see this as an easy series. Oakland is a team that can get very good, very quick.

• The Pastime. Well, that was a weak attempt. The Tigers took advantage of too many Oakland mistakes tonight to take Game One. Macha needs to use his deep pen. Zito was done an inning before he was pulled, and the Oakland pen shut out the Tigers for the rest of the game. Hope Jerry Crawford doesn't get back behind the plate. His strike zone was awful tonight. There's a reason his 2006 stats were so out of line. His strike zone is terrible. I'm still confident that the A's can pull it out.

• Condition Oakland. I'm never happy when the A's lose, but to lose like this is just unacceptable. They rocked Nate Robertson for 6 hits and worked 3 walks with runners on base every inning - and got none of them home. They hit into 2 inning ending double plays and then with runners on second and third with NOBODY OUT Robertson strikes out three in a row. The A's beat themselves, Detroit had nothing to do with it.

• Nate Robertson's Gum Time. The funny thing is, I didn't change a whole lot from my New York start. People are like, "Oh, gosh, what's going on? Robertson's starting. Look what happened in New York." It wasn't about that. I went at them just like I went at New York. A few things could've gone differently — the ground ball that I should've fielded, maybe a pitch called my way, just a few things. And that's baseball. You've got to accept it. I can't sit there and pity-party about that. That's just the way it went. But I still felt good about how I went at them. I didn't shy away from them, and I didn't shy away tonight. I went right at them.

We know, as Cardinals fans, our occasional gripes and complaints can fall on deaf ears and perhaps even sound like whining, and the Detroit Tigers are Exhibit A as to why. We cannot possibly imagine how exciting having the Tigers in the ALCS must be. (And no offense to A's fans; we know you're in rarified air yourselves.)

Since the Tigers last were in the playoffs, in 1987, they've lost 100-plus games four times, 90-plus games nine times and finished with a winning record three times, counting this year. And tonight, they're in the ALCS. So Tigers fans have earned it.

So yeah: The League Championship Series are here. Games every night until after midnight, and sometimes even later. As unproductive as we typically are during the month of October, we still missed it.

ALCS Preview [Baseball Musings]

This series is as evenly matched as we could imagine. And we can't wait. Even if it's opening in a stadium with no upper deck.

Here's a roundup of predictions from around the Web.

• Peter Gammons: A's in seven.
• Rob Neyer: Tigers in seven.
• Cool Standings: Tigers in six.
• John Donovan: A's in six.
• The Hardball Times: A's in six.
• Baseball Prospectus: Tigers in six.
• Baseball Musings: Tigers.
• DEADSPIN: Tigers in seven. Sorry.

Let's hear your own personal jinxes in the comments.

Regardless, we're back at it today: It's the Oakland A's vs the Minnesota Twins. Difficult loss for the Twins yesterday, and we would say an A's win today could put the Twins in a hole of which there is little escape ... but these are the A's. We'll believe they'll win a playoff series when we see it.

Your pitching matchup is Boof Bonser (yes!) for the Twins and Esteban Loaiza, who presumably didn't drive to the game, for the A's.

And your live blog begins after the jump. Play along with us in the comments, and email us if you have anything you want to add. Enjoy.

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Bottom Of The Ninth Inning

Huston Street is in. If he gets the first guy, this wills hut down fast, we suspect. And he does. Fly to Bradley ... one down.

Strikeout. We feel kind of bad for Twins fans: We really do. Bat-Girl's going to be inconsolable; she might even torture some Legos.

Jason Bartlett, of all people, is the last hope. And he dinks — we don't think we've used "dinks" yet — a single to right. Luis Castillo .... 3-0 count ... 3-2 ... ball four! Tying run at the place ... and it can only be one time of year ... you know it ...

It's Puntober!

Full count ... popped up! That's all ... and that's totally all for the Twins. That should be an extremely fun flight to Oakland. But hey: Aren't all flights to Oakland fun?

A'S 5, TWINS 2

Top Of The Ninth Inning

You know what might possibly make Twins fans more suicidal? That's right: Insurance runs! Nick Swisher leads off with a double, and Marco Scutaro — just say the word, OHHH!!!!! ... Scu-Scu-Scutaro! — coudl bring him home. Look! The Twins have remember they have Joe Nathan! He's just warming up, though. Scu-Scu-Scutaro grounds Swisher to third. And now Nathan is coming in.

From a reader: How come no one has mentioned how much Marco Scutaro looks like Scott Baio??? This is an egregious oversight. Indeed! Bob Loblaw!

WILD PITCH! Another run scores. We don't mean to imply that the Twins are toast, but there are buzzards being vivisected by the Metrodome's air conditioning system.

Joe Nathan doesn't look so hot, which is probably because he plays for the Twins, who, at his rate, will be hit by buses as soon as they leave the dome. Kotsay doesn't hit an inside-the-parker this time, fouling out. To the ninth. Twins are over. Poor kids.

A's 5, Twins 2

Bottom Of The Eighth Inning

The Twins have hit the ball hard twice, and they've both been right at A's infielders. The Metrodome looks extremely unhappy. And sounds awfully quiet. Time to get The Wave going again.

Torii Hunter strikes out on a pitch he had about as much opportunity to hit as the did catching that ball earlier. He hears some boos. Difficult to blame them.

A's 4, Twins 2

Top Of The Eighth Inning

Our correspondent: "I wish I could adequately describe the atmosphere in here. shocked, sullen and denial come to mind." We think he's being nice.

Frank Thomas struck out, and we're actually were taken aback by that. By the way, had he been running on Kotsay's hit, he'd just now be arriving at third base.

A's fans: Has Eric Chavez always swung at pitches a foot over his head? We've seen him do that about four times today.

Juan Rincon shuts down the A's, striking out the side, and the Twins have six outs to bring in two runs, or, at the very least, get their fans to stop doing The Wave.

A's 4, Twins 2

Bottom Of The Seventh Inning

All right, we're still flabbergasted by what Torii Hunter just pulled. He had zero chance of catching Kotsay's hit, and he had to have known that. Did he think he could fly? He might singlehandedly make Billy Beane's shit work in the playoffs.

Justin Duschererererererererererrrr is into the game, and he just struck out Luis Castillo. That's three K's looking for scrappy Luis.

OK, the Twins fans just did the Wave. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A's 4, Twins 2

Top Of The Seventh Inning

The sidearming Twins guy gets Jay Payton to start. We're not quite ready for Jay Payton to be playoff force. Mark Ellis singles to left, and Jason Kendall is in. If he played for a team other than the A's, he might bunt.

Instead, he hits into a fielder's choice. You know, Kendall has really been hit by a LOT of pitches for someone who hasn't been around nearly as long as Craig Biggio. We have always prided ourselves on our ability to be hit by pitches, even when we're just sitting on the couch.

Pitching change. Dennys Reyes. Did he get skinnier? Or are we confusing him with someone else? Mark Kotsay is the designated lefthanded batter.

Holy crap: Torii Hunter just did something incredibly, diabolically stupid. Kotsay loops one to center field, and Hunter tries to dive and grab it. He misses it, it goes to the wall and Kotsay comes all the way home with an inside-the-parker. And that, friends, was as bad a postseason mistake as you'll see someone make. You'll see it about a million times in the next 24 hours.

A's 4, Twins 2

Bottom Of The Sixth Inning

Look, it's a Boof/John Bonser fansite! We bet he doesn't get that if he's still John. So that's something.

Michael Cuddyer finally gives Twins fans something to do: He shoots a homer over the left-field wall, and the lead is cut in half. We think Loaiza doesn't have much time left.

And he probably should have been pulled right there: Justin Morneau ties it with an upper-deck shot, and Loaiza is toast, free-spirit necklace or not. Ken Macha muppets out to replace Loaiza, and look, they make big sound in Minneapolis!

With all the momentum in Norse land at his back. Torii Hunter swings and pops out to right on the first pitch. In for Oakland is Kiko Calero, and at this point, we have to remind that the Cardinals traded him, Danny Haren and top prospect for Mark Mulder, who so hurt he looks like the Boxing Helena lady. Awesome trade. We don't need starting pitching and bullpen help at all.

Calero, just to taunt us, shuts down the Twins 1-2 after the two homers, and then walks Jason Tyner, which sounds like the name of a child in a Christmas special. Tyner steals second base, and now Jason Bartlett, the scared boy from yesterday's game, tries to garner the Twins' first hit with someone within 180 feet from home plate.

Bartlett strikes out. We be tied.

Twins 2, A's 2

Top Of The Sixth Inning

Our poor reader at the Metrodome is slowly starting to lose his mind. It's not particularly fun to witness, particularly in the format of digital text.

Jay Payton hits a two-out single. In center field right now, just beyond the "fence," is the world's largest jug of milk. It's there, even though ESPN continues to be part of the anti-milk conspiracy and not tell us about it. TELL THE TRUTH, ESPN!

Nick Swisher pops up, and to the bottom we go. And by "bottom, " we mean "end."

A's 2, Twins 0

Bottom Of The Fifth Inning

OK: ENOUGH WITH THE COFFEE TALK. If you're not watching the game, Sutcliffe, O'Brien and Karros are still talking about this stupid incident in the dugout in which Milton Bradley might have accidentally spilled coffee on Loaiza. This is not a big deal. Loaiza is fine. Bradley will do far crazier things, we assure you.

Luis Castillo chops a two-out infield single, and Puntober is the tying run. He hits homers about as often as Jason Kendall does, though.

Jeez, Punto dove into first base again. STOP IT. And suddenly, it's Joe Mauer as the potential leading run. And so handsome, that boy.

Mauer hits it hard, but Eric Chavez makes an excellent stop and throws him out. Still no runs. This is starting to feel like the the Red Sox-Cardinals World Series. We hate it when we're reminded of that.

A's 2, Twins 0

Top Of The Fifth Inning

Yes! THESE are the necklaces! Baseball players are so silly.

Nick Swisher hammers — dammit, that verb again — a double to lead off, and John Bonser looks nervous.

A run! And it's Scutaro again. We really like us some Marco Scutaro. A double into right gives the A's the lead, and, uh, you know, the Twins probably need to start manning up. Ha. That's funny. The verb manning is the same as Manning, yet the mean the opposite. Or something. Dunno. 1-0!

By the way, we're told Peter Gammons mentioned Deadspin on Quite Frankly last night, but — shockingly! — we didn't watch it. Don't suppose anybody recorded it, did they?

Jason Kendall gets an RBI the only way he can: Not hitting the ball out of the park. He chops — chops! — a single to left, and it's 2-0 Oakland, and the Metrodome has a decidedly different feel than it did during the 1987 World Series. Which SUCKED, by the way.

Milton Bradley flies out to end the inning, and the clock is ticking fast on the Twins now.

A's 2, Twins 0

Bottom Of The Fourth Inning

A note from a reader on the necklaces:

About the A's necklaces that everyone seems so capitvated by: some Twins are wearing the same necklaces, except they are red and don't show up as well. They must be something provided by Major League Baseball. Maybe for the playoffs?

We doubt this is true, but if MLB is giving out necklaces for their players to wear in the playoffs, we are never buying a used car from Bud Selig again.

A reader who is actually at the Metrodome Blackberrys us: I think this game is at 1 today because its just as boring as my day job. boof is throwing too many pitches, we're not hitting again, and we can't keep frank off the bases. at least milton bradley has a monopoly on batting .000. seriously how did we lose to these guys yesterday?

Because neither of these teams can score. It's like watching the Cardinals if they didn't have Pujols. The A's have Frank Thomas, and the Twins ... well, they have Phil Nevin.

Dave O'Brien looks like he has gained about 15 pounds since the World Cup. Two-out single by Justin Morneau, and then another hit by Toriii Hunter, and we have the potential of — really — a run.

Nope! Ground out.

Twins 0, A's 0

Top Of The Fourth Inning

Frank Thomas, man ... he hits a one-out double. (It was a ground rule double, which is how he made it to second base.) Maybe Thomas will turn into Tito Landrum — remember him? — and play for three consecutive World Series winners in three different years. (If he goes somewhere else, that is.) Anybody else looking forward to seeing Thomas play first if the A's make the World Series?

Chavez lines one off John Bonser — which is now what he will be called — who picks it up and throws him out. He's a little shaken up, so he's taking some warmup pitches. Bonser is 6-foot-4, 260 pounds, and still changed his name. This is driving us crazy.

Jay Payton lines out to Tubby Castillo, and we're still scoreless.

Twins 0, A's 0

Bottom Of The Third Inning

Twins manager Ron Gardenhire is always pretty relaxed and jovial; he keeps making jokes while Sutcliffe and company "interview" him. As mentioned yesterday, we don't think this would be our attitude.

God, Loaiza has another of those ridiculous necklaces that apparently every A's player has. We know Billy Beane likes to keep matters loose, but come on: They should be ashamed of themselves.

Loaiza sets the Twins down in order, as our boy Puntober slides into first. We don't think the Twins were ever taught anything in spring training.

Twins 0, A's 0

Top Of The Third Inning

A reader points out something: Isn't one team supposed to wear a white jersey and the other a dark jersey? Of course, it's possible that the both teams are wearing white jerseys, and the smog inside the Metrodome is making them look odd on our set.

Mark Ellis strokes — we haven't used the verb "strokes" yet ... "New York City cops ... New York City cops ... New York City cops ... ain't too SMAHHHHHHT!" — a single into left, and Jason Kendall comes up. Isn't it strange that Kendall hits a homer, like, every two years? He's not this tiny guy. David Eckstein hits five or six homers a year. It seems really odd, right?

Great fact: Boof Bonser changed his name from John in 2001. We're sorry, but we think that means we are all legally required to make fun of him.

Kendall grounds into a fielder's choice, and we're getting kind of obsessed with his inability to homer. Fantastic play by Justin Morneau leads to a double play, and there might not be 10 runs scored in this whole series.

Twins 0, A's 0

Bottom Of The Second Inning

Sometimes we think it might fun to torture ESPN broadcaster Dave O'Brien by yelling, "hey, it's a soccer announcer!" every time he walks into the park. "I can't win, dammit!"

From a Twins fan about Mauer:

You have to understand that Twins fans love Mauer more than anyone ever except maybe Puckett. This is because he is one of us and in Minnesota we don't really have many famous people. He could seriously run for governor here. Everyone loves Joe. His main endorsement deal is with Land O' Lakes milk! He is an icon here because he is so humble and down to earth (at least thats what we are told). Anyways, we basically cheer him to a fault and are so excited that one of our own is doing well on the national stage that we will give him a standing O for adjusting his cup.

We're with you, but, uh, we don't think it's really that impressive that you would elect him governor, considering some of your past decisions on that front.

Twins go down 1-2-3, and we're cooking again. This series is going to be shorter than a Ronan Tynan ditty.

Twins 0, A's 0

Top Of The Second Inning

Weird: Frank Thomas is already getting Pujols treatment: Away, away, away, away. Put four of those "aways" together, and you get a walk. Which is what Thomas does. We're not sure what he's doing en route to second base can be called "walking," though.

Eric Chavez swings at three pitches over his head and seems awfully confused. Perhaps he has the evil braint disease that afflicts Jim Edmonds. Jay Payton breaks his bat on a single to right, and it's a rally! It's becoming clear that Johan Santana and Barry Zito aren't pitching today.

Nick Swisher strikes out. Wasn't Nick Swisher supposed to be great? Because he's not. Marco Scutaro is batting against Boof Bonser, which means it's obviously playoff time. He fouls out to first, and the Twins scutaro out of a jam.

Twins 0, A's 0

Bottom Of The First Inning

We think maybe Luis Castillo is the same size as Ronnie Belliard, but because he wears the No. 1, he looks slightly fitter. We bet if you slapped him a nose tackle number, like 72, he'd be nice and portly-looking. He strikes out to start the Twins' frame.

It's Puntober! Man, that's the best sign we've ever seen. Puntober! Seriously! They totally did that at home, carted it in the car and brought it inside. That's devotion. Puntober!

Hey, Twins fans: Have they been giving Joe Mauer standing ovations every time he comes up for the first time all year? Ya'll are gonna give that guy a big head. He drills a single into center, and we remind you that yesterday, after doing this for seven hours, we completely ran out of verbs. So, expect some repeats of "drills," "doinks," "plunks" and "hammers." Sportswriting is hard.

Michael Cuddyer doinks/plunks a single into center, and the awesome force of Justin Morneau has a chance to hammer/drill the Twins into the lead. But he, instead, just "swings" and flies out to right field, and a Loaiza disaster is avoided.

Twins 0, A's 0

Top Of The First Inning

Hey, Eric Karros is here. So you know, he did not make a bad joke about Erin Andrews.

All right, we had this newfangled way we were going to do the live blog today, but it's obviously not working, and we're not smart enough to figure it out. So we're gonna go back to the old way.

Boof Bonser's on the mound. We're going to do everything in our power not to make any jokes about his unusual nomenclature. He strikes out Jason Kendall to start the game, and he's kind of making a habit out of this.

One-two-three for Bonser. Quick quick quick. We're never gonna get this working right.

Twins 0, A's 0

Pregame: The good news is that there's no Joe Morgan. The bad news
is that you're getting him for both NYC games tonight. He's actually getting a POLICE ESCORT. That's our tax dollers in motion. Homer Hankies out again. Still a Nazi sign in the top of the Metrodome.
Just like yesterday!

Sweet, it's Sutcliffe! Let's get out there with George Clooney and start solving that thing.

So, here we are, preparing for the playoffs to begin. We're taking a deep breath, because we forget just how long October really is. We're about to be very worn out. And this is the beginning of it.

It's the Oakland A's vs the Minnesota Twins. You've seen the predictions, so it's probably time for this thing to just start already.

Your pitching matchup is Johan Santana for the Twins and Barry Zito for the A's.

And your live blog begins after the jump. Play along with us in the comments, and email us if you have anything you want to add. Enjoy.

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Bottom Of The Ninth

So we're really just blown away that we're about to do a live-blog about a Cardinals playoff game that Chris Berman is broadcasting. We are absolutely asking Gawker Media for a raise ... this is sadistic.

Wow: So Milton Bradley is absolutely going to fucking kill the Metrodome roof later. Michael Cuddyer hit a dopey flyball to right field, but Bradley never saw the ball. It landed in for a triple. Justin Morneau does Bradley a favor by hitting a ridiculous line drive right at him; one out, Cuddyer does not score.

That second homer for Thomas looks nice right now: Hunter just grounded out to score Cuddyer, but there's two out for ... jesus, is Rondell White up again?

A fly ball to center ... that's it! Pretty monster win for the A's, beating Santana and taking home-field. A reader who's had the Metrodome right now sends us this report:

"its pretty bad when you're at a playoff game and you want to leave early because your manager has gone brain dead once again when the playoffs start. lets recount his mistakes so far...

- starting nevin over tyner (a "pirahna" that gets on base a lot at the bottom of the order)
- running jesse "I give up first batter hits" crain out there against the hurt but then not trusting him against something call scutaro.
- not moving runners over
- having a guy with no knees try to steal early
- many more

omg the roof still works"

But not enough, friend. Some Billy Beane shit just worked. And now ... half hour until the Cardinals and Berman. Awesome

FINAL: OAKLAND 3, MINNESOTA 2

Top Of The Ninth

Jesse Crain, who runs one hell of a business journal, is in for Santana, whose supposed dominance has been neutralized already.

And then Frank Thomas, who is downright disgusting right now, hits a huge homer deep into left, and now it's 3-1. That was a pretty tough pitch to hit, actually. And Huston Street looks on from the odd Metrodome bullpen.

Joe Morgan always sounds so sad when he says things like, "That's just the way The Game is now." Oooh ... he's about to go on an anti-A's rant! He's attributing their new success — that is to say, the fact that they're "currently winning" — to Ken Macha. If this is 3-1 Twins, it would be because of the terrible fundamentals. But you knew that.

Nick Swisher shows off those fundamentals by drilling a double off the Hefty. That's all for Jesse Crain and his business journal. Reliever Neschek guy gets a strike out, and to the bottom of the ninth we go!

NEWS FLASH, KIDS: The broadcaster for the Cardinals-Padres game is .... CHRIS BERMAN!

How did he even get there from Philadelphia so fast?

Jesus.

A's 3, Twins 1

Bottom Of The Eighth

Jason Bartlett more than makes up for his muffed double play earlier by drilling a double into left field, and here we go. Zito's looking tired, and Justin Duscherscherscherscher is warming up. But we're not ready for that now. Why? Because it's PUNTOBER!

Ooh: Bartlett was just about picked off second base, which would have been an even worse error than his actual error. Wethinks Mr. Bartlett is kind of nervous about this playoff business. Luis Castillo picks a bad time to not reach base, grounding out to third and not moving the runner over. One out.

Ha. Bartlett just almost made another stupid running mistake, inexplicably stopping in between second and third on a grounder to second. He's going to wet himself any second.

Joe Mauer flies to left, and it's still a one-run game. That's probably it for Zito too. He doesn't have that dumb blonde streak in his hair anymore, does he?

A's 2, Twins 1

Top Of The Eighth

Jason Kendall is so slow. One out. You know, we'd like to take a moment to admire Joe Morgan's restraint in not mentioning Billy Beane yet. You know it's just killing him.

Nick Punto just made our first highlight film play, jumping aginst the wall left-field foul wall and making the catch while getting his spikes caught in a batting practice screen and having about three beers spilled on him. Do you think he'll change his uniform? Or will he just play with the stink of beer on him.

Someone ruins it with a sign that says Puntober. You know, in baseball, every month is Poontober.

A's 2, Twins 1

Bottom Of The Seventh

We haven't commented on the site about this, but we absolutely do not understand these Holiday Inn commercials with Joe Buck. How are these supposed to persuade us to sleep in a Holiday Inn? Joe Buck is actually the least annoying person in those commericals, and it's not even close. Even if the commercials were funny — they're not — we still wouldn't even slightly get the point. Our least favorite is the bizarre one about the guy who wants to touch Buck's throat when he talks. Seriously. That's a hotel commercial.

Zito zips through the first two guys, but then Rondell White gets all crazy on us and hammers a high fastball over the left-field wall, and it's 2-1. No extra innings! Cards at 4!

Phil Nevin, who is making more than $10 million this year and was once almost traded for Ken Griffey Jr., pops out, and it's a one-run game.

A's 2, Twins 1

Top Of The Seventh

To clarify: Earlier we thought that the C in the Twins stood for "Club." The reasoning behind this, which know seems idiotic, was that it was, like, "The Minnesota Twins Baseball Club" or something like that, and it was a holdover from a time when people wore monocles. Obviously, this was very wrong, and we're, well, we're kind of fucking stupid sometimes. Excuse our French.

Frank Thomas singled to right field and just about got thrown out at first base. He was jogging toward the end, because he's old and fat, and it almost cost him, as they say. We wonder if Frank Thomas has ever dived into first. We doubt it.

Jason Bartlett just made an error that could cause all kinds of trouble; Eric Chavez hit an easy double play ball right to him, and he muffed it. Nobody out now, rather than two. A's could absolutely bust this open.

OK, Joe Morgan is awful. He has decided that the fact that Johan Santana patted Bartlett on the back after his error somehow makes him some sort of champion hero or something. We can't quite do the "observation"justice. With one out, Swisher, on a 2-0 pitch, swung and miss on a patented mean-and-nasty changeup that was such a great pitch that Swisher actually started laughing. He gets his revenge by working a walk, and now the bases are loaded for former Brooklyn Cyclone Marco Scutaro.

And he almost does, ripping a line drive to center that's caught by Torii Hunter. If any human other than Frank Thomas were on third base, it's a run. But Frank Thomas is on third base, and he almost got thrown out on a single to right. Bases loaded for Mark Ellis. He falls behind 0-2 but works it back to a full count ... and here we go ... dopey little fly ball to left, it's caught, it's still 2-0.

A's 2, Twins 0

Bottom Of The Sixth

Zito's curveball is so cool. It always looks like a ball to us, even when it's in the strike zone. The chubby Castillo reaches for the third time today with a one-out single. The crowd wakes up. We still remember, when we lived in St. Louis, when the Twins were offering season tickets for $98. For $98, it almost seemed worthwhile to get the tickets but still live in St. Louis.

Joe Mauer, with two outs, shows bunt but misses the pitch. We know that Mauer is supposedly dating some model or something, but we never understand how baseball players "date" anyone. What, she's hanging around Minneapolis? She's waiting for him to call from road trips? Doubt it. For six months out of the year, baseball players, single and married, are dating no one and they are dating no one. Everyone is aware of this, yes?

Mauer walks, and the tying run is at first with two out. Michael Cuddyer, if that's his REAL NAME, grounds to short to end the inning, and it's 2:33 and we're in the seventh inning.

A's 2, Twins 0

Top Of The Sixth

This just in: The "C" stands for cities: Twin Cities. Good to know!

You know, at this rate, we're actually going to have time to use the bathroom between games. Which is nice. Because that's important.

A reader writes in about Rondell White and Phil Nevin:

"Lest your commenters question the venerable Ron Gardenhire's managing, Phil Nevin and Rondell White have good track records against Zito—clearly the best of any on the Twins' roster. Zito has an excellent history against the current Twins' lineup. I was worried about the matchup before, and now I'm afraid that we have no hope as long as Zito is in this game.

Nevin is 5/17 with 3HR's
White is 5/14."

Oh ... so THAT'S why they're on the team.

Jason Kendall flies out to center for the first out. Mark Kotsay is about to strike out for the third time today ... nope! He actually singles, first guy in 11 to reach.

Hey, look, Erin Andrews is here! Hi, Erin! This game has so quickly that she hasn't had time to do any "reporting." And then Milton Bradley grounds into a double-play, and she doesn't even get to finish her sentence. We're really paying any attention anyway. Human interest thing .... I was talking to so-and-so before the game ... the key is the ... sorry, we blacked out again.

A's 2, Twins 0

Bottom Of The Fifth

It's Ken Macha's turn to talk to Miller and Morgan. He looks like a muppet. Though sometimes we think all older men look like muppets. We might have some issues there.

Justin Morneau hits the ball the hardest that any Twin has hit it today, but Mark Kotsay makes a running catch in deep center for the first out. Toriiiiiiiiii Hunter had a much better year than we thought he did. To think we used to confuse him with Jacque Jones. He pops out to center, and there's two down, and we're realizing that LOTS of A's have idiotic necklaces.

If you had Rondell White in the "who breaks up the no-hitter pool?" well, you win. And you have extremely silly pools. It's a double to right, and here's Phil Nevin, who is the DH because putting him in the field is just being mean. This is his first postseason game. We think he's more a factor in that than simple luck.

Hey, look, he popped out. Home run in an elevator shaft!

A's 2, Twins 0

Top Of The Fifth

You realize it's only 2:10, right? We're already almost halfway through. This is like a Greg Maddux game. Santana gets Swisher to pop out, and Scutaro to ground back to him, and we think he might have done it with one pitch.

Little help from anyone who knows (and we're sure someone does): Is the "C" in the Twins hat supposed to stand for "Club?" Because that's dumb.

Groundout. Five pitches. Ten in a row down for Santana. There should almost be a discount for fans.

A's 2, Twins 0

Bottom Of The Fourth

Luis Castillo earns his second walk of the game and is bunted to second by Nick Punto, who idiotically dives into first base. (Something we agree with Joe Morgan on!)

At this point we should probably mention that Zito is throwing a no-hitter. Jay Mariotti would probably think we personally jinxed him there.

Joe Mauer keeps the no-hitter going by grounding out to second. Michael Cuddyer, who has a profoundly stupid name and somewhat less stupid but still stupid face, pops a flyball to left, and that's all. Zito has thrown more balls than strikes and still has a no-hitter. We love the Twins.

A's 2, Twins 0

Top Of The Fourth

Frank Thomas just misses his second homer: He curved it just foul. Frank Thomas is still pretty big. Does he still have that stupid earring? Anyway, he flies to right for the first out.

Santana then strikes another guy out, and then the inning's over in seven pitches, and we didn't even have time to write more than this because this is the most number of words we can type in seven pitches.

A's 2, Twins 0

Bottom Of The Third

Morgan and Miller are interviewing Twins manager Ron Gardenhire in the dugout. We cannot imagine how much managers must hate this. It has to be their least favorite part of having games on ESPN, along with "having to listen to Berman make rhymes about my name for an hour." Gardenhire is much more polite about this than we might be. Can you imagine them doing this to Bobby Knight? Fly out by Rondell White, who is still alive.

Wait ... the Twins start Phil Nevin? We will confess that we did not know this. This is the playoffs, correct? Phil Nevin, right? Starting.

Twins shortstop Jason Bartlett has the 90210 sideburns, which is kind of sweet, really. He flies out to center, and this game is flying by. More time for Cardinals baseball!

A's 2, Twins 0

Top Of The Third

Santana just struck out Jason Kendall again. We know Kendall gets on base and everything, but for a guy who has played with Pittsburgh and Oakland, it sure seems like people talk a lot more about him than perhaps he's earned. Is he really good pals with Gammons or something?

Kotsay goes down, so that's now six strikeouts for Santana, which are fascist. Funny stat: Santana's last 21 strikeouts have been swinging strikeouts. We're not sure what that stat means, really, but we're still oddly intrigued by it. And now Milton Bradley grounds out to short, and zip zip zip.

A's 2, Twins 0

Bottom Of The Second

While waiting for this live blog to just UPDATE ALREADY — we swear, we're writing this in real time; the Gawker servers are just taking a lifetime to get things moving. By the time you see this sentence, it'll be Thursday.

And Zito looks awesome, dispatching the Twins with eight pitches.

A's 2, Twins 0

Top Of The Second

We know it has been a year and a half now, but we will never stop finding it amusing that Frank Thomas was beamed in via satellite during the Congressional steroid hearings — featuring Mike Foley, by the way — and no one remembered that he was there. He just sat there, a head on a screen, bored. And he takes out his frustration by pounding a changeup over the left field wall, and we have our first run of the playoffs.

Eric Chavez is wearing a ridiculous green necklace thing; honestly, no athletes have worse fashion sense than baseball players. Probably because so many are white. Anyway, Chavez becomes Santana's third strikeout victim, if you can call such an event worth of "victim" status.

Jay Payton doinks — we would argue that a bat hitting a ball is the only sound in sports than can be conceivably called a "doink" — a single to center field. We can never figure out if Jay Payton is any good or not. Nick Swisher flies out to center field, but then Marco Scutaro — a guy whose presence and name make us so happy that Berman isn't doing this game — drills a double to left field, and holy crap, folks, it's 2-0 A's. And Johan has suddenly forgotten how to pitch. His last home loss was August 2005, ESPN tells us. And there's trouble now.

Mark Ellis strikes out, and look, there are runs!

A's 2, Twins 0

Bottom Of The First

Luis Castillo is a little fatter than we realized. He's not Ronnie Belliard fan, but he's got some oomph on him. And he takes a leadoff walk. And here we go. There is much white cloth being waved in Minneapolis.

Morgan just used the term "manufacture runs." And with that, we remember why sometimes the playoffs drive us nuts. Nick Punto is batting, but his job is mostly to take pitches so Tubby Luis Castillo can get thrown out trying to steal second. Which is exactly what happens. And then he flies out to right.

Joe Mauer, who is from Minneapolis in the same way that Jerome Bettis is from Detroit, grounds out, and it's scoreless. It is without score.

Twins 0, A's 0

Top Of The First

You know, it occurs to us that we don't know a single thing about Johan Santana. We know he plays in Minnesota, and they're not that tabloidy over there, but seriously: We couldn't give you a single piece of biographical information about Santana. His name is Johan. That's the most intriguing thing we can give you.

God. The homer hankies. We hate the homer hankies. By the way, that weird guy a while back who insisted there was a swastika in the roof of the Metrodome? ESPN just showed a shot looking up at the dome, and we think we saw it. Fucking Mel Gibson.

Jason Kendall just swung and missed dramatically, flinging his bat in the air, and there's one down. You're gonna need that, buddy. Mark Kotsay is up next, and he's a guy we've never had a single thought about other than the one we just had. Which is that we'd never had a thought about him. And then he strikes out too. At least he still has the bat.

Speaking of throwing things, it's Milton Bradley! He grounds out to shortstop, and the inning is over. Don't expect four paragraphs every half inning. Lots of baseball today.

Twins 0, A's 0

Pregame

Welcome! This is a tasty pre-Cardinals platter off the HHH dome. It's really quite quaint that the Twins don't have a corporate sponsorship for their dome. That's not the Humphrey estate paying for that, is it?

Your broadcast team: Jon Miller and Joe Morgan. Did you know he's in the Hall of Fame? Well, he is: He's in the Hall of Fame.

These will be running all day today, and we very much hope you enjoy them.

Up right now: The Oakland A's. Your writer is Tyler Bleszinski.

Tyler Bleszinski blogs about the A's daily at Athletics Nation. His words are after the jump.

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As an A's fan, I'm elated that the A's made the playoffs. And as an A's fan, I'm also scared to death that the A's made the playoffs. The team has that enormously large monkey on its back of postseason failure. Granted, much of the personnel on the A's has changed since the team made its last postseason appearance in 2003, but the fans can't change our psyche. We know all too well that the A's have struck out nine times when facing the opportunity to close out a series.

This season could be different. The A's have always had great starting pitching going into the playoffs. But they have never had a marvelous defensive team as they do now. This is also the best bullpen that the team has had during Billy Beane's tenure. The teams from 2000-2003 were good, but they always seemed to have a malfunctioning bridge to get to the closer ... or the closer was a problem. You had the Island of Misfit Toys. If the A's pitching falters in the postseason, it will likely be the starters, not the bullpen.

Speaking of something that might falter, the A's offense was abysmal for most of the first half of the season. Yet the offense was there when the A's needed it most. The A's starting pitching stumbled quite a bit coming down the stretch, but thanks to Frank Thomas and the bullpen, the team was able to hold off the hard charging Angels. The offense was actually second to the Yankees in the AL in OBP in the second half, and if the team is going to succeed, it's going to wear down the starting pitcher by making him throw a lot of pitches. The problem is that most of the teams in the playoffs on the AL side have deep bullpens, so it's questionable how much of an advantage that will be.

So when Tuesday rolls around and the A's open in the Terrordome, you're going to see a new A's team; one that is a great defensive team (unlike when Jeremy Giambi was patrolling left field and Terrence Long in center) and a deep, solid bullpen. The question will be: Can the offense and starting pitching carry its share of the load? Hopefully Rich Harden, Barry Zito, Danny Haren, Frank Thomas, Nick Swisher and Eric Chavez can answer that one in the affirmative. Otherwise, the familiar criticisms of our beloved green and gold will bubble to the top once again. Hopefully this group of guys is fundamentally sound enough to remember to slide (Giambi), touch home plate (Byrnes) and not stop to argue an interference call (Tejada).

At least we're getting the chance to find out.

But nevertheless, it's the Twins, a team that hasn't had its fair share of postseason success in recent years, against the A's, who REALLY haven't had much postseason success. We still think Frank Thomas looks odd in an A's uniform, even though he's having one of the best years of his life. And we wish Francisco Liriano were still around.

Here's a roundup of predictions from around the Web.

• Baseball Musings: Twins in four.
• Buster Olney: A's in five.
• Tim Kurkjian: Twins in five.
• Dayn Perry: Twins. (Our estimation.)
• John Donovan: Twins in five.
• Jeff Pearlman: Twins.
• Jeff Passan: Twins in five.
• Mark Pesavento: Twins in four.
• DEADSPIN: A's in five. We always overrate the A's in the playoffs ... but it has to happen ONE of these years, right?

Let's hear your predictions, if you can muster up the intestinal fortitude, in the comments.