Mike Huckabee's Campaign Charade Is Over, So That His Other Charades Might Continue

Driving south on Interstate 95 through Maryland, eventually you come to the I-495 interchange near College Park. If you stay on I-95, then for the next little while, you also are on I-495, the Capital Beltway; the routes are concurrent, sharing the same physical road. Farther along, in Springfield, Va., the two routes…

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Martin O'Malley, A Stock Photo Of A Handsome Man, Ends His Presidential Bid

Generic man Martin O’Malley ended his campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination last night. The Iowa caucus was rough on the former Baltimore mayor and Maryland governor: Once poll-workers sorted out the caucus-goers who thought they were standing in line to get their photo taken with “that guy from, uh,…

Bobby Jindal, Obsequious Twerp, Simpers The Fuck Out

Bobby Jindal will no longer pursue the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. He also will not pursue Alpha Centauri, or growing a second head out of his left shoulder, or the Elder Wand. Dogs will not shoot lasers from their eyes. The sun will not be a showerhead that sprays grapefruit juice. Many things will not…

RIP Ornette Coleman, Who Confounded Most People And Humbled Us All 

“There is a law in what I’m playing, but that law is a law that when you get tired of it, you can change it.” So said incomparable musical innovator Ornette Coleman, who died this morning at the age of 85, and while his career was full of these kinds of delightfully cryptic remarks, few unpack his special genius so…

Eduardo Galeano Has Died; Here Are Excerpts From His Classic Soccer Book

Eduardo Galeano, one of the most beloved writers to ever come from Uruguay and Latin America as a whole, has passed away today at the age of 74 after succumbing to cancer. Galeano was famous for writing about politics and history and war and economics. He also brought the same passion and knowledge that he brought to…

Get Me Rewrite! At His Own Funeral, Kaplan Still Gets the Last Word

It takes an extraordinarily brave and clear-eyed writer to compose his own epitaph. Four years ago—four years before his death at age 59—Peter W. Kaplan did. He was speaking to the media reporter for the New York Observer, his media reporter, after he had just told his staff there that he would not be their editor…