Because I've had my fill of hate mail recently, and because OKC fans have already made their feelings known when I dared to suggest that the wind is the defining feature of their city, I'm going to refrain from pointing out that if KD played in New York or L.A., there are actually clubs and bars that are open on Thursdays.

But I will say there's a certain segment of our audience, perhaps from a certain Pacific Northwest city, that's not exactly rooting against the Thunder's franchise player going down with a career-ending slap-related injury.

I Guess This Is How You Pass The Time On An Off Day [Daily Thunder]

Ah crap, I'm already falling behind. I didn't see this one coming, I was banking on Tyreke Evans here. Regardless Harden isn't that much of a surprise. He doesn't get a lot of love, and a lot of that had to do with the way he played in March. Needless to say, he is much better than he showed when the nation was watching.

I need a new beer.

How? By letting one lucky Thunderhead fly in a big ol' plane to see the fancy lights and perfume stores of New York City to watch the Thunder participate in the annual NBA Lottery ping-pong festival. The rules? Easy. Just follow the directions provided by this press release.

Oklahoma City, Tuesday, May 5, 2009 – Last month the Oklahoma City Thunder launched an NBA Draft Lottery Challenge to find out who was the most creative and enthusiastic fan when the balls fall at the Draft Lottery on Tuesday, May 19 in Secaucus, NJ. All fans 18 or older who were Oklahoma state residents were asked to submit a seven-word description explaining why they should be in attendance at the Lottery later this month.

2,174 entries came into thunder.nba.com, and the search has been narrowed to three. Fans are now asked to log onto thunder.nba.com to choose their favorite entry. Voting continues through 2 p.m. on Thursday, May 7. The winner will win round-trip airfare from Oklahoma City to New York City, hotel accommodations, per diem for the trip and will head to the Draft Lottery at the NBA Entertainment studios.

The three finalists are:

1. Thunder rocks Loud City; New York's next

2. I am Thunder loud and Oklahoma proud

3. Gonna wear my Thunderwear in Times Square

I'm surprised they didn't open this contest up to Sonics fans?

But, you know, we can't just let the Thunder fans show off their half-assed Haiku-ery intimidate us. Let's show these Thunder fans how to really make a statement about the Thunder in seven words. Work your magic in the comments please.

Thunder Draft Lottery Challenge [NBA.com]

Now, not sure on the accuracy of the page — or whether the "Dad" quoted on Graham's page is actually Clay Bennett — but if it is, well, it does offer some unsurprising insight into the man that ripped Seattle's heart out when he stole away their basketball team.

Via The Sporting Blog:

Now, the Crooked Oak cheerleaders being insulted by "Dad" in this are from Crooked Oak High School in Oklahoma City. Unfortunately, the cheerleader section of the school's website provides no pictures, so I can't verify whether the school actually does have a "pakistani," a "black midget with a pickle" and the other freaks of nature "Dad" was griping about. But if you go to their fan section, there is a shot of some of the "Ruf-Nex" cheerleaders during a football game:

Well, I don't see a pickle.

Clay Bennett Thinks Your Cheerleaders Look Absolutely Hilarious [The Sporting Blog]

First of all, the team nickname is the Thunder, which is complete nonsense. It's hard to cheer for a sound. Now—a week after the All-Star break of their first season—they have finally unveiled their mascot: Rumble the Bison. Uh ... okay.

Rumble played the drums, performed with the trampoline dunk team, danced with the Thunder Girls and closed his halftime act by climbing a 16-foot ladder. Rumble stood on the top rung, then back-flipped. The dunk rimmed out, but his athleticism was evident.

His missed both his dunk attempts, actually. The also gave him a back story that involves Native Americans and a lightning bolt that somehow explains why he walks on his hind legs, but doesn't explain how a hoofed mammal can play the fucking drums. Or why the creatures that Americans know as "buffalo" are actually called bison and buffalo do not technically exist in North America, which makes Kevin Costner a dirty liar. Or why they didn't just name the team the Bison?

Don't get me wrong. Rumble is totally in my face, I just wish they would have Rasta-fied him another 10%.

Rumble the Bison: Thunder mascot's act smashing [Oklahoman]
Thunder Mascot Introduction: FAIL [Sporting News]
Oklahoma City Thunder: What does a mascot mean to a team? [Oklahoman]

The Oklahoma City Thunder turned that concept on its head when they recently hosted a Houdini-style underwater escape act. Kristen Johnson is a professional escape artist whose specialty is getting out of handcuffs and leg irons while being fully submerged in a tube of water. Since that one trick is more thrilling than anything the Thunder have done on a basketball court this season, they booked her for the January 16th game against Detroit.

It was a great idea ... right up until the point where Kristen went into hypoxic seizure—that what's happens when your brain runs out of oxygen—in front of 17,000 NBA fans. It look her a bit longer than usual to get out of the chains, so her temporarily lifeless body had to be pulled from the tank before she drowned in front horrified onlookers. It's Fan-Tastic!

You can watch the CNN report about it, or just this unedited YouTube of the incident—which is strangely prominent on their website—or you can see how the trick is actually supposed to work here. She survived (mostly unharmed), but the confused clapping you hear from the OKC fans seems to say, "Even though being able to tell people we saw a daredevil die in front of our eyes would have been cool, we guess we're glad you're okay."

Houdini stunt horror [CNN.com]
Ridgeway and Johnson [ridgewayandjohnson.com]

This press release we received from Oklahoma Today magazine is filled with all kinds of hilarious, bitter pain for anyone who used to enjoy basketball in Seattle. It's about their cover story on Oklahoman of the Year Clay Bennett. You see, "people respect Clay" because he had the "resourcefulness, tenacity, and acumen" to bring Oklahoma a professional basketball team—one that is "considered one of the youngest team in the NBA." Is it?!

Best of all, the NBA loves this guy! Not as much as Oklahoma does, but gosh darn it, this guy is just so fucking awesome and no one anywhere in the world could possibly have anything bad to say about Clayton I. Bennett.

By the way, if you happen to know any Sonics fans, you might want to hold on to their shoelaces for a little while longer.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

CLAYTON I. BENNETT NAMED
2008 OKLAHOMAN OF THE YEAR
OKLAHOMA CITY – Oklahoma Today, the magazine of Oklahoma since 1956, has named chairman of the Oklahoma City Thunder, Clayton I. Bennett, Oklahoman of the Year for 2008. The feature story on Bennett, written by senior editor Steffie Corcoran, appears in the January/February 2009 issue.

Bennett, founder of the private investment firm, Dorchester Capital, is touted as the man who brought the NBA to Oklahoma. He leads a group of eight investors, all from Oklahoma City, who form Professional Basketball Club, LLC. The team played its first Oklahoma City game on October 29, 2008, after relocating from Seattle. Today, the team plays at the Ford Center in downtown Oklahoma City and is considered one of the youngest team in the NBA.

“No one came close to Clay Bennett as we set about selecting this year’s Oklahoman of the Year,” says Louisa McCune-Elmore, Oklahoma Today editor in chief. “His accomplishment presents an extraordinary moment in the life of Oklahoma, probably among the most important achievements in our capital city’s history.”

Those who know him best describe Bennett as a man of action. “People respect Clay,” says former Oklahoma City mayor Ron Norick. “When Clay is involved, things are going to happen.” Bennett grew up in Oklahoma City, graduated from Casady School in 1978, and married his high-school sweetheart, Louise Gaylord, in 1981.

Bennett’s respect for hard work and his civic involvement have garnered this Oklahoman of the Year great regard from his peers, both locally and in the wider community of the NBA. “I feel confident about the good hands the [Thunder] is in,” says NBA commissioner David Stern, “because they’re in Clay’s hands and in the hands of his investor group.”

The NBA may be happy about the team’s move to Oklahoma, but no one is as thrilled as Oklahomans. The NBA is considered the largest global sports brand. “An NBA franchise is an obvious economic boom, but just as important is what it does for the momentum and morale of Oklahoma,” says Governor Brad Henry.

“What I like most about this article and accompanying photos is its thorough review of the Thunder relocation, but also its insights into Clay’s unwavering commitment to his hometown, state, and especially his family,” says Hardy Watkins, executive director of the Oklahoma Tourism and Recreation Department. “It’s a real portrait.”

Oklahoma Today publisher Joan Henderson says, “The year 2008 was an eventful year in Oklahoma, but nothing seemed as potentially transformative as the birth of the Thunder franchise in Oklahoma City.”

“Clay Bennett had the resourcefulness, tenacity, and acumen to make that dream a reality,” says Governor Henry.

Subscribers begin receiving the issue today. The issue will hit newsstands regionally on January 2. Please contact Louisa McCune-Elmore at [redacted] for more information.

"I honestly had no knowledge of Scott Brooks coming into today"

Even worse, this person actually researched Brooks and the most interesting fact that he took away from that investigation is that Brooks once played for the Albany Patroons of the CBA. A great franchise, yes, but this will not do.

You see, in the dark days of the mid-90s NBA, when the best basketball player on Earth was wasting his time playing baseball, the Houston Rockets were showing everybody what was what. It was during these difficult times that one man rose up to cheer on America. It was he, more than any other individual, who brought that title home to Houston and inspired a nation. That man was Scotty Brooks.

Brooks was like the über-Eckstein. Like Steve Kerr, Mark Madsen, and big piece of shoe leather all rolled into one. The undersized journeyman shooting guard bounced around several colleges and a couple of NBA teams before landing in Houston just in time for that magical run to the Bull-free Finals. He was the consummate bench player, waving his towels, cheering on his more notable teammates with gusto, but occasionally stepping into a game to drop a dagger 3-pointer on some hapless opponent.

He only played 23 minutes in five playoff games during that championship run, but his real contribution was the fighting spirit that he brought to that Rocket bench. Anyone who followed along during that gloriously dull summer will never forget what Scotty B. (that's what I liked to call him) brought to the table. He will be missed.

Oh, wait. I forgot he's still alive. This is actually his third stint as an "interim" NBA coach. (He's 2-6 so far.) The guy just keeps bouncing around, but hopefully OKC will forget to fire him at the end of the year and he'll stick for awhile. He'll always have a home at the end of the bench in our hearts.

Scott Brooks: Your New Skipper Of The Titanic! [The Howeva Files]
Thunder fire Carlesimo after 1-12 start [AP/Yahoo]
Scott Brooks Bio [NBA.com]
Scott Brooks [Wikipeida]
Scott Brooks [Basketball Reference]

David Stern extended an olive branch covered in thorns, rash-inducing poison, and small arms fire to those Seattle fans still slightly miffed at recent events:

"You know, we have something over 900 games available on NBA League Pass, either on cable or satellite, and potentially broadband and NBA TV where we have four games a week," he said. "So there's a lot out there in terms of content and a lot of an ability to follow our league. If they are so inclined, then we certainly invite them and welcome them."

You know, like people in Helena, Montana, do. You'll be a big city again someday, Seattle!

Friday night, we received a PDF of a man's heart breaking. He asked us to do with it what we desired. He doesn't have a blog; he doesn't have a book to sell. Dude just needed to tell someone how he felt. We won't belabor this point much once the season has started. We don't necessarily agree with everything he said. However, the least we can do is publish it.

So, NBA fans and Seattle denizens, we grant the floor to one David Betz from Seattle, WA.
———————————-
To: NBA Commissioner David Stern
RE: NBA Fan Resignation Letter

24 October, 2008

Dear Commissioner Stern:
In the off chance that this gets past your “disgruntled Seattle Supersonics fan” mail dumpster, I’d like to take a minute of your time to present you with my NBA Fan Resignation Letter.

I was a thirteen year old kid growing up in Ohio, wearing Chuck Taylor Converse when I talked my dad into taking me to my first live NBA game in Cleveland Arena, a hockey venue that was then home to the Cleveland Cavaliers. I remember seeing Bob “Butterbean” Love walk in through the front door and fan turnstiles with his Chicago Bulls gym bag. This was two NBA Commissioners before you. This was pre-headbands (the first time around), pre-tag lines, pre-shoe deals, pre-Nike, pre-ESPN, pre-baggy shorts, pre-tattoos, pre-cable, pre-Internet. It was old school.

I'm 51 years old now, and I have been a dedicated NBA fan for longer than you've been commissioner, and longer than the Sonics were a team. I have not been a corporate box customer, or a multi-season ticket holder, but I have been a valuable customer that your marketing people might refer to as an advocate or evangelist. To complete that marketing demographic: I have a graduate degree, discretionary income, cable and high-speed internet connections. I’ve converted passive NBA fans to active NBA fans. I’ve watched thousands of games both in-person and on TV. I’ve seen 44 of your “Top 50” players of all-time play the game. I watched Jerry West play before he became the logo for your league.

I was the beneficiary of league expansion, embracing the Cleveland Cavaliers as my then home team thirty-eight years ago. I was thrilled when the ABA merger brought Dr. J, Moses Malone, George Gervin, and Artis Gilmore (not to mention the slam-dunk contest and the 3-point shot) to the NBA. I’ve experienced the growth of the league from 18 to 30 teams and go from a sleepy niche sport to a global brand.

I also witnessed the migration of teams like the Jazz, Kings, Hornets, and Braves, and Grizzlies. In almost every case, these were younger franchises moving towards expanding markets, reflecting America’s population migration. (Which also brought me west to Seattle 15 years ago).

In all of my years, I cannot recall a backwards franchise erasure or a league equity mistake like the one you just perpetrated with the Seattle Supersonics. You remember the story; the new ownership wanted the team to remain in Seattle, but just could not find a satisfactory venue. They had no choice but to take the team back to their home in Oklahoma. Who could blame them?

Mr. Stern, I don’t for one second believe that ours was a venue or a market problem here in Seattle. The real problems were a dysfunctional product and leadership, a blatant disregard for the truth, and complete betrayal of the public trust.

Since this is my exit interview, I’d like to give you some feedback on what constitutes a satisfactory venue for this fan. Over the past five decades, I have attended NBA games in New York, New Jersey, Charlotte, San Antonio, Los Angeles, Golden State, and Seattle. I’ve experienced NBA games from club seats, corporate boxes, courtside, nosebleed, and every other seat in between.

Here is what I need from an NBA venue when I go to a game with a friend or family member:

1. Easy access to tickets and transit to the game
2. Friendly and helpful staff
3. Affordable snacks and a beer
4. Enough concessions and restrooms so I don't have to miss the game in a queue
5. Easy site lines for the court, replays, game score, and current statistics
6. To feel safe outside the arena after the game

The last time I was at Key Arena—in fact every time I was at Key Arena—all of those needs were met. (As an aside, I DON'T require a dance team, a pyrotechnic player introduction, an indoor blimp, or concourse credit-card solicitations, all of which have become emblematic of league predictability and conformity.)

One final critical point extends beyond a venue experience, and usually goes without saying; as a fan, I also want an honest ownership, working intelligently with the front office, coaching staff and the league, to put together the best team possible. THIS is where the deal breaker occurred in Seattle, not because of our venue.

In my life as an NBA fan, I’ve defended the game in conversation at innumerable stadiums, sports bars, golf courses, and tennis courts. The basic perspective of my colleagues, who consider themselves sports fans, just not NBA fans—is that the NBA is simply a bunch of selfish millionaires getting over on each other. They had no interest in watching a game, believing that the only time that matters is the last two minutes, which they would argue, could last for an hour. I would counter with observations about the amazing athleticism, the fierce competition, the unique styles of play, the community building connection, and the transcendent beauty of a team-game well played.

Based on my experience in Seattle this past year, I now have to side with my colleagues. The NBA IS ABSOLUTELY a bunch of selfish millionaires trying to get over on each other, and in Seattle’s case, their fans, city, and community as well.

When the inappropriate behavior of a few individuals undermines the game, the league, or the Brand, that is usually when the Commissioner’s office steps in. I saw Michael Jordan solve your post-Bird/Magic void, when you were struggling with an attendant thug and drug perception problem. I experienced first hand when your predecessor stepped in to create the "Ted Stepien Rule" to prevent any incompetent owner from driving a franchise into the ground with unconscionable trades.

That is why it’s been amazingly disappointing for me to witness your decisions and your demeanor throughout the Seattle franchise sale, dismantling and move. What happened here makes you complicit in just the sort of hegemony, short sightedness, and thuggery that your office was created to police.

Commissioner, you failed me, my team, my city, and the league. I quit.

This is a shout out to any NBA fan in any other NBA city. If you think this can't happen to you and your city, or if you think ownership can be trusted with the public welfare, or if you think a new sports venue and lots of season ticket buyers means franchise security—think again. If you believe your team belongs to your city and that your team’s heritage would never be violated, you are mistaken. It's not about the venue, the product, or the heritage.

If the money is there and the egos align, as they did in Seattle, any and all NBA teams are for sale.

I am here to tell you that 41 years of blood, sweat, tears, and a championship banner mean NOTHING to this commissioner or his league.

With that I am hereby resigning my life-long fan seat to the NBA.

Game over, Commissioner.

David Betz
Former NBA fan Seattle, Washington October 24, 2008
—————————————————

A generous offer from The David. [Bend It Like Bennett]

When last we saw them: Finished 20-62, fifth in Northwest Division and 15th overall in the West. AND THEY WERE CALLED THE SEATTLE SUPERSONICS. Sorry about that. Still bitter, I guess.

The future: Desmond Mason, Devon Hardin, D.J. White, Joe Smith, Kyel Weaver, Russell Westbrook, Serge Ibaka

The past: Adrian Griffin, Cheetara, Donyell Marshall, Francisco Elson, Lion-O, Luke Ridnour, Panthro

The Good: They already have their franchise cornerstone in the form of last season's Rookie of the Year, Kevin Durant, who fills the basket the way a waiter at Ponderosa refills your Pepsi: Effective (20.3 PPG) even if he's a little sloppy (43 percent shooting from the field, 28 percent from beyond the arc). Plus, it looks like he spent the summer slurping down some Weight Gain 4000, and the added beefcake should help him both on defense (where, hopefully, he'll get to play in position this year) and on the boards (4.4 RPG last season). Jeff Green, who like Durant made the All-Rookie First Team, averaged a solid 10.5 points and 4.7 rebounds per game. And, like Durant, he started to catch fire at the end of last season: In April, Kevin averaged 24.3 PPG, 6.4 RPG and 4.1 APG, and Green added 15.6 PPG and 6.3 RPG. So it stands to reason they should both get better. Rookie Russell Westbrook has all the ingredients necessary to make an All-Star cookie, and, according to NBA.com, a scout who saw Westbrook at the Orlando summer league said: "He's flat out the best player here not named Kevin Durant." Oh, and of course all the stories out of UCLA indicate he's one of those "first one to the gym, last one to leave" kind of guys. (Although, isn't that phrase used to describe pretty much everybody these days? Does anybody ever actually leave the gym and go home anymore?) Nick Collison is almost a certified double-double guy (9.8 PPG and 9.4 RPG last season). Desmond Mason and Joe Smith are on hand to provide a little veteran leadership, which should hopefully keep Chris "I'm on a coffee break, okay?!" Wilcox in line. The people of Oklahoma already love them: The Thunder sold all 13,000 season ticket packages in only five days. And, trust me, this team is going to need all the love it can get...

The Bad: This team was B-A-D last season: 30th in point differential (-8.8 ppg), 29th in turnovers (16.0), 29th in assists allowed (24.4), 28th in three-point percentage (.333), 28th in three-point defense (.385), 27th in points allowed (106.3 ppg), 26th in rebounds given up (44.1), 26th in opponents’ turnovers (13.2), 23rd in steals (6.47) and 20th in field goal defense (.461). You'll note that a lot of those numbers point to atrocious defense. Durant is good. Really good. But he's not a Jedi yet. Green might be really good...some day. Westbrook, for all his talent, is a rookie PG who doesn't have a lot of quality teammates to pass to, and he'll probably be sitting behind Earl Watson on the depth chart. (At the start of the season, at any rate.) Chris Wilcox - who averaged 14.1 PPG, 8.2 RPG and shot 59.2 percent when he came to the team in the middle of the 2005-06 season - can't seem to maintain his focus and intensity on a nightly basis. Sometimes not even on a minute-by-minute basis. Their big men - Wilcox, Joe Smith, D.J. White, Nick Collison, Johan Petro, Mouhamed Sene - do not inspire fear, unless you have a terrible phobia specific to tall, ugly people. They've got a strong core with a bright future, but they won't be winning more than 30 games any time soon. And everybody knows it. Oh, and they have a stupid name.

Fun Facts: Since this is a team bereft of a past - I refuse to grant them the Sonics' team history - let's talk stats. According to SI.com: "Durant last season averaged 41.8 points per 48 minutes of clutch time (a five-point game in the last five minutes of the fourth quarter or overtime), which ranked sixth in the league. LeBron James led that category with 56.0 points." According to the Sporting News: "Kevin Durant ranked 92nd among 93 3-point shooters with at least 200 attempts last year. He made 28.8 percent of his 205 shots and was better than only Charlotte's Raymond Felton, who converted 28.0 percent from beyond the arc." According to most people in Seattle: Clay Bennett should die of gonorreah and rot in hell.

Videotastic extra: Here's a little eye candy for you: The Oklahoma Thunder City Dancers! Note that the initial audition took place in the Cox Convention Center. I'll go ahead and let you make your own joke about that one.

One of the men behind the "transfer of wealth" that turned the Seattle Supersonics into the Oklahoma City Thunder was Aubrey McClendon, a big time Oklahoma oil man. Drunk on the potential power of NBA franchise ownership and $100-a-barrel crude, McClendon took out massive loans and used them to buy up huge chunks of the company he runs, Chesapeake Oil, which reached all-time high stock price of $69.40 on July 2—the exact day that the Sonics were officially ripped from the City of Seattle like a still beating heart.

Today, that stock is worth slightly less ... about 75% less. Oil prices dropped, the loans came due, and McClendon lost about $1.8 billion. Oops. Sadly, his stock portfolio is now a paltry $400 million, so maybe you can help a guy out and and buy a Thunder t-shirt or something.

• Karma Train Reaches OKC; Thunder Owner Wiped Out [Seattlest]

My suggestion, the Oklahoma City Bricks — for the city's Bricktown District — was somehow rejected. Clay Bennett's ownership group, which moved the franchise from Seattle, has applied for trademarks for six names: Thunder, Energy, Wind, Marshalls, Barons and Bison.

Calls to team officials were unreturned Friday afternoon and evening. However, KOCO.com confirmed that the registrar for all of the NBA's Internet domain names reserved okcthunderbasketball.com and okcthunderbasketball.net on July 10.

Local fans of course are thrilled with the new name: In an online survey, 36 percent hated it, while 18 percent approved. As for the bulky okcthunderbasketball.com domain name, it seems that thunder.com is unavailable, having been taken by a Silicon Valley communications group. And they seem unwilling to part with it.

There had been reports in July — apparently bogus — that the name would be Barons. Anyway, they'll always be NOOCH to me.

Source Tells KOCO OKC NBA Team To Be Named Thunder [KOCO-TV]
Oklahoma City's NBA Team To Unveil Name Sept. 3 [USA Today]

Why, of course I'm talking about the minor league football team Oklahoma Thunder of the World Football League, who play their games in Tulsa. What, you never heard of them? Their running back is former Sooners tailback and Adrian Peterson backup Kejuan Jones! Yes, that Oklahoma Thunder.

So this is somewhat intriguing. Can an Oklahoma Thunder and an Oklahoma City Thunder really co-exist? Might one search for tickets online and think, "Wow, it's two hours before the game and front row seats are still available?" This could get confusing. Maybe Seattle would be wise to steal this promising young minor league football team and transplant them to Washington and rename them the UltraSonics.

Source Tells KOCO OKC NBA Team To Be Named Thunder [KOCO] (via FanHouse)
Oklahoma Thunder Football