•Panic in the Gateway City: Albert Pujols says he's in no rush to sign a contract extension. He made the comments to a Dominican radio station, perhaps reminded of the fact that they were the first fellow Dominicans he's seen since moving to St. Louis.

•First blood goes to the Phillies, who take game one, 8-6. Brad Lidge pitched a scoreless ninth, which for him has the equivalent improbability of a World Series perfect game.

•The NBA has officially changed the traveling rules, now allowing players two steps before being whistled. Let's see... at 63 years per step added, it'll only be 2198 before the refs actually call the rulebook.

•A New Jersey running back claims one of the reasons he didn't recieve a 1-A scholarship offer is because he's white. Sure it might suck, but let's see if he complains when he can hail a taxi.

•AC Milan is asking US Soccer to pay up after Oguchi Onyewu went down against Costa Rica on Wednesday. Gooch has played all of 30 minutes for the Rossoneri this season, so it's kind of like bitching about paying for a gym membership you never use.

•Darrelle Revis and Chris Duhon will be making their comedy club debuts next week. If you don't think they know funny, you've obviously never watched a Jets draft or Knicks game.

•Finally, I give you this video without comment:

The Boz was at Putnam City West High School in Oklahoma on Friday, where he inspired and educated students with a speech about the dangers of drunk driving. After setting those kids damn straight he rode off into the sunset on his Harley, but as an employee of the school was driving home shortly after, she noticed Bosworth performing CPR on a fallen man in a parking lot. He continued to assist until an ambulance arrived. Oddly enough, no one knows who the man was, what was wrong with him, or if he's even okay. He's like a reverse Lone Ranger!

The next days, Bosworth showed up at Oklahoma's spring game where he played flag football with other Sooner heroes. Saving kids, saving strangers, saving tackles—he does it all! Yes, the speech was part of his community service for a drunk driving arrest last month, but I wasn't going to mention that. (Oops.)

Boz gives CPR to fallen man [The Oklahoman]
'The Boz' still draws attention [Tulsa World]

Oklahoma's Blake Griffin may be out of the NCAA tournament — which is a shame, really, since he was the most exciting player in it — but this photo snagged by Total Pro Sports at least lets us know that he'll have plenty of opportunities to cheer himself up. Especially with that shirt. That looks festive.

Speaking of cheering up: Good morning. It's Monday, so go grab a bucket of coffee and rejoice.

Meet Justin Chaisson, a decorated Bishop Gorman High School defensive end who will be attending Oklahoma in the fall (perhaps). Justin made his first court appearance on Thursday after his arrest Tuesday on several felonies occuring when he attacked his ex-girlfriend. It all started at a Las Vegas coffee shop, when Chaisson grabbed the 17-year-old girl and forced her into his GMC Denali. Various scenarios from the movie Casino ensued.

The girl told police Chaisson punched her in the ribs and drove her to the desert before pulling her out of the vehicle. She said he then placed a screwdriver to her neck and threatened to kill her. When two of the girl's friends drove up to the scene, she told police, Chaisson again grabbed her and put her in his vehicle.

One of the friends called 911 while following Chaisson's vehicle. According to the police report, the incident ended after Chaisson drove his ex-girlfriend to a storage facility and told her to exit his vehicle.

Chaisson, 6-foot 5, 285 pounds, signed a national letter of intent in February to attend Oklahoma. It was not known if his scholarship would be affected; he's currently not even attending classes at Bishop Gorman.

Chaisson was ranked the 73rd-best high school senior in the country by Rivals.com. Scout.com lists him as being able to bench press 395 pounds and squat 575 pounds. While Sooner blogs are calling for his scholarship to be pulled, Every Day Should Be Saturday is simply noting that he seems to have excellent pursuit skills.

OU Football Recruit Justin Chaisson Arrested On Multiple Charges [The Oklahoman]
Gorman Football Standout Appears In Court On Felony Attack Charges [Las Vegas Review Journal]
Justin Chaisson [MaxPreps]

2) Syracuse has just offered a scholarship to Randy Couture Blake Griffin's first two box scores of the tourney are getting a lot of talk, as well as Ameer Ali's judo-flip of him in round one. But neither thing is really anything new for Griffin this season. That's (at least) the fourth cheap shot Griffin has been hit by this year (crotch shot, leg sweep, punch in the back of the head, about 200 bloody noses) and he's had 13 games where he's put up at least 20 points and 15 boards. Right now he's averaging 30.5 ppg and 15 rpg during the tournament. And Syracuse has had trouble with quality big men this year (Cole Aldrich had 15 and 16 against them and DeJuan Blair 20 and 12). Kristof Ongenaet better start working on his Stone Cold Stunner.

3) Going downtown, like the Petula Clark song Coming in to the tournament, the Sooners had been in a bit of a slump and a lot of the reason for that was poor outside shooting. Teams were packing the paint to handle Griffin and the OU guards weren't hitting from three. But against Michigan, some of that sweet outside shooting that helped bump the Sooners to the top five for most of the year returned. Austin Johnson went 3-4 from downtown and Willie Warren went 3-6 as the team hit six moneyballs total. In OU's previous two losses, the Sooners hit a total of seven threes with Johnson going 2-9 from three and Warren 3-12. And as we all know, three-point shooting and guard play is going to kind of be a key for OU against Syracuse. No sign from Tony Crocker though who is 0-6 from three so far in the tournament. — Royce Young (Daily Thunder)

SYRACUSE ORANGE

1) Devolutionary War When he's not busy creating new strains of cancer and enslaving small African nations, Eric Devendrof plays basketball for Syracuse University. Okay, maybe he doesn't actually do those things but you'd never know it from the vitriolic reaction his name inspires. From The Big Lead to Slate to Sports Illustrated, Devendorf has been named the most hated player in college basketball. Aside from the alleged punching incident earlier this year (which, for what's it worth, he was cleared of actually doing), it's his trash-talking, cockiness and post-shot celebrations that usually set people off. Unfortunately for them, since he continues to hit big shots when it matters most, they're only going to get angrier.

2) Big 12 Champs The last time Syracuse played Oklahoma in the NCAA Tournament was 2003 when the Orange defeated the Sooners 63-47 in the Elite 8, en route to their first and only National Title. Oklahoma was just one of four Big 12 teams that Syracuse played in the tournament that year, including Oklahoma State in the 2nd round, Texas in the Final Four and Kansas in the Championship game. The Orange have yet to receive their 2003 Big 12 Champions banner.

3) Walking In Memphis...Again It might come as a surprise to some to know that the Orange actually left the state of New York in November and December this season. The big knock against SU is always their soft OOC schedule and that's what many pointed to the last couple years when the Orange were on the wrong side of the bubble. This year the Orange logged some decent frequent flyer miles before conference play, beating Florida and Kansas in "neutral" Kansas City. They also traveled to Memphis to take on, and beat, the Tigers. At the time the win meant a lot to the Orange's RPI. Little did they know the experience of playing in the FedEx Forum would come in handy as well. — Sean (Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician)

(NCAA buckets. Duh.)

Today has pretty much been a snoozer as far as basketball action is concerned. That may all change tonight during the NCAA's evening sessions.

Purdue vs. Washington, 5:40 PM, Portland. You gotta fight! For the right! To get demolished by UConn next week!

North Carolina vs. LSU, 5:45 PM, Greensboro, NC. The North Carolina schools' annual NCAA tournament tour of North Carolina's arenas continue. Will Hansbrough ever close his mouth and/or get a rebound? Tune in to find out!

Oklahoma vs. Michigan, 5:50 PM, Kansas City. Will Michigan avenge their 1976 Orange Bowl loss to Oklahoma? Tune in to find out!.

Gonzaga vs. Western Kentucky, 8:10 PM, Portland. Chicago sports radio host Dan Bernstein has a theory that every year in the NCAA tournament, one of the Cinderella teams has red jerseys. Is Western Kentucky this year's Crazy Red Team? Tune in to find out!

Duke vs. Texas, 8:15 PM, Greensboro. Tonight, we are all Texans. Hook 'em, Horns!

YOU ARE LOOKING LIVE AT THE WHEAT HOUSEHOLD IN BUCOLIC FAIRFAX, VA!!!

Or you are watching basketball. I prefer you do the latter, as I am not wearing pants.

I'm pretty sure that Sussman assigned me this game just to remind me of the misery that has been this past basketball season. The defeat of the Sooners at the hands of my beloved Razorbacks on December 30th was the last time I felt good about this basketball season. Aside from the defeat of Texas the following week. But, all downhill since then. Annnnnnyhoooooo, we've got a barn-burning 2-15 matchup here that will hopefully prove to be at least as exciting at this afternoon's 2-15.

2-15 was also the conference record of Arkansas this year.

Fuck, I knew this was a set-up.

I'm not expecting any crippling "formatting errors" tonight, but given my history with the Gawker server I am expecting my post to appear, then disappear, then re-appear in triplicate no less than seventeen times.

If this game gets out-of-hand, I hope none of you mind if I start discussing any of the following: upcoming releases by Mastodon and The Decemberists, the state of the Detroit Tigers starting rotation, other basketball games, famous titties, or satisfying bowel movements that I hath known.

Has it really been three whole seasons since OK ditched Sampson?

MORGAN STATE WITH THE EARLY DAGGER!! 3-2!!! CALL IT!!

Morgan State's PG is nicknamed "Itchy". That is part and parcel with growing up in Baltimore.

Sloppy start here - 5 or 6 turnovers in the first 2:30.

You can't tell me about Blake Griffin's Sam Bradford impression and then not demonstrate it. I feel robbed, CBS.

10:05p -OU 6 MSU 3. This one has been some kinda hideous in its first five minutes.

10:11p - Morgan State has missed their last six shots, yet still trail only by 7 at the moment. And as I say that, they finally score and cut it back to 10-5.

Blake Griffin has 10 of OU's first 12 points. To say they don't have an answer for him would be a slight understatement.

10:14p Morgan is currently shooting 3/14, yet somehow are keeping close. OU 12 MSU 7 with 11:40 to go in the first half.

10:19p Don't look now, but MSU has hit a couple of buckets in a row and we've got a 1pt ballgame with 10:00 left in the first half.

10:22p full court pitch and catch with - that's right! - Blake Griffin and the 1 point lead has turned into 10 in just 2 minutes time. OU 21 MSU 11 with 8:06 remaining in the first half.

The Griffin/Manning Analogy temporarily made me kick my dog. I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY CBS. Now Canis Wheat is going to kill me in my sleep. Fuck My Life.

In the spirit of Rick Reilly and Matt Sussman, I will now refer to them as Morgan CLANK. Might as well be Costanza out there chucking them up at this point. 5-20 and somehow only 1-5 behind the arc. But it feels like 1-87978398234.

10:28p I flip over to VCU/UCLA temporarily and continue to wish we had hired Anthony Grant two years ago.

10:30p If Morgan State could just hit ONE of these freaking three point shots...

MSU finally hits a pull-up jumper and it's a five point game again. And they proceed to foul OU on a 3pt attempt.

10:35p OU has extended their lead to 32-17 with 3:32 to go in this first half of hellish shooting. The Griffin Fellatio has me spinning the cylinder. MSU is shooting a mind-bottling (that's right) 27%. This seems roughly 13% too high to my eye.

J-No and StevePerry - my ego will not reach Bono proportions. But it will exceed that of Jim's Big Ego.

10:42p Less than a minute to go in this EXCITING first half of basketball. MSU's shooting percentage has now dropped to 26% and they trail 38-21. Blake Griffin impregnated four women and saved three puppies during the timeout.

HALFTIME OU 40 - MSU 21. Blake Griffin has 18 and 6 to lead OU. Morgan State shot 9-34 and are fortunate not to be trailing by 30. That said, if a few of those shots had fallen, we'd have ourselves a much tighter and more interesting ballgame. That said, if I applied myself, I could make something with my life.

YOUR HALFTIME ROCK PART THE FIRST Because you probably need to wake the hell up because it's late.

HAS YOUR FACE BEEN ROCKED THE FUCK OFF? ARE YOU NOW ONE WITH OUR DARK LORD?!?! Cool, now for...

YOUR HALFTIME ROCK PART THE SECOND Anyone see Modest Mouse on Letterman last night? Apparently there is a B-Sides album coming up soon.

If you had 11:01 in the "What Time Will Jerkwheat Screw Up The Formatting" pool, you should contact your local representative to collect your prize.

We've still got some time to burn here - including a whole second half of misery - so I'll hold off on conversation regarding the #5 spot for the Tigers until at least 16:23 remaining in the game. However, if you'd like to discuss bowel movements, let me know. Ever since I changed my diet, mine have been just amazingly satisfying. It's surefire weight loss most mornings.

11:07p "Holmes really not close that time" NOR AT ANY TIME IN THIS WHOLE DAMNABLE GAME.

I see we have interest in the poo-conversation. I don't drink coffee so I can't compare there, but my post 2-egg, veggie sausage, and green tea morning constitutionals are pretty damn epic. I like to think they compare.

Also it's now 46-25 with 17:00 to go. And Itchy is having problem's with Oklahoma's length.

11:14p OU has doubled it up to 50-25. Stoops still has Heupel out there even though he has 485 yards and 4 TDs.

CODE ORANGE ALERT - BLAKE GRIFFIN MAY HAVE AN ELBOW OWIE

11:19p: Canis is getting pissy about not being in bed right now and has begun her nightly strategy of pawing at me and barking for no reason at all. I offer jerky strips to no relief. Blake Griffin shows up and she falls asleep in his lap.

If the MSU players were smart, they would never heed Todd Bozeman's advice regarding "playing it free and easy". It is now 50-31 after MSU hits a couple of threes at last.

I've been taking an Omega-3 swirl for the past few months and I think that might also be playing a role in my bowels of late.

11:24p Three straight OU turnovers, but it remains 50-31 with 13:29 remaining.

So, I guess young Rick Porcello might have a pretty good shot at the #5 spot in the Tigers rotation since Dontrelle continues to be terrible and Nate Robertson continues to exist. Thoughts?

11:28p 53-33 with 12:00 or so to go. DID YOU KNOW? Morgan State has raised their FG% to an ASTOUNDING 27%!!! WERE YOU AWARE??!

I think this is Porcello's 2nd spring on the 40 man. He's only 20 and has a mere 120 innings or so of low minors experience. He's likely starting Saturday against the Yankees though. So that's exciting. Assuming the cut on his finger heals in time.

STATISTICS UPDATE Jamelle Holloway 5/8 115 2 TD 175 Rushing 1 TD

Switzer is taking out Griffin and letting young Jason White play a little now.

11:37p Morgan State is hanging around and refusing to get blown out in spite of their inability to make a friggin' shot. It's 58-42 with just a shade under 9:00 to go. Holmes is actually hitting a few from long-range now.

ALERT ALERT Blake Griffin just got flipped on his noggin and it looked like we were gonna have a scrap for a second. We have an ejection on the Morgan State player who got, uh, tangled up, with Precious Griffin. Nice takedown by Morgan State Nameless Guy. The Russian judge gave it a 5.6.

I see Kige is leading Leitch by 15 with 15 to go. GO BIG RED. And VCU is still hanging around too. But those games' live-blogs don't have Josh Heupel references.

11:43p Upon replay, that was an exceptionally dirty take down and a well-deserved ejection. I give Griffin credit for just walking away from that. It's currently 60-44 with 7 and change remaining.

RIC FLAIR "WOO!" REFERENCE AT 11:48.

11:51p After cutting the lead down to 14 a little while ago, Morgan State has returned to Earth (or at least Earth2) and they trail 71-47 with 3:28 remaining. Kind of a shame that they are gonna wind up losing by 30 potentially because they managed to play it tougher than the score indicates. But shooting 19-68 will do that to a team.

ADDITIONAL GRIFFIN BROTHERS INFORMATION: They currently have 40 points between the two of them (28 and 12) and have missed 2 shots combined. Also, they are working on a cure for SuperAIDS. But not regular AIDS.

11:56p We are at the 2 minute warning, the Griffins now have 46 points and the lead is 77-52.

FINAL SCORE OU 82 MSU 54

Thanks to everyone who joined me in the comments tonight. As the least sexy blogger, it was only appropriate that I presented the least sexy game of the late night session. But you all were already drunk and thought that I looked alright enough considering your BAC, so you slept with me anyway. And for that, I thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, Blake Griffin is going to tuck me in. Interpret that however you like.

2) What's that sport with the round orange ball? It's no secret that Oklahoma is a football first state, but the basketball program has done more than just produce a coach that talked on his cell phone more than a 14-year-old girl. The Sooners have four Final Four appearances with the last being in 2003. OU has 20 combined conference titles and ranks second all-time in tournament wins without a national championship. (Illinois is first.) I don't know if that's necessarily a stat to take pride in, but I guess that means they've won a few tournament games. One of the most impressive streaks the Sooner basketball team had was a stretch of 25 consecutive appearances in postseason play that was broken in Capel's first year. The Sooners rose to national prominence in the 1980s under coach Billy Tubbs and three-time All-American Wayman Tisdale. OU was the favorite to win the 1988 tournament with future pros Mookie Blaylock, Stacey King and Harvey Grant, but Danny Manning and the Miracles made an incredible run and beat the Sooners in the national title game in one of the bigger upsets in tournament history (and OU's only appearance in the title game). And that was after OU had beaten Kansas three times already that season. Damn you Danny Manning. Damn you.

3) That's not the only thing that's gone cold As you watch OU in this year's tournament, you'll probably have one major nagging question about the team—why in the eff does Tony Crocker wear a long sleeve shirt? Rumors went around that Crocker got a nasty tattoo that the university was embarrassed of, but that's not true. The reason is because Crocker suffers from a strange condition that slows his body from keeping warm. Evidently he's developed a similar condition that's made his shooting stroke go cold. After hitting 7 of 11 from downtown against Colorado Feb. 7, he's shooting just 26 percent (7-27) from three since. And that's not good for OU seeing as Crocker is one of the Sooners' main marksmen. When he hits, OU is dangerous. When he doesn't, opponents pack the paint to handle Blake Griffin. If Crocker isn't warm–either way–then OU may be sent packing early. — Royce Young (Daily Thunder)

MORGAN STATE BEARS

1) The Bozeman Factor One thing Morgan State has going for it is that head coach Todd Bozeman has been to the NCAA Tournament before. Bozeman was the head coach for Cal back when Jason Kidd "studied" at Berkley. He led the Golden Bears to three tournament appearances, including a Sweet 16 in his first season. Of course, maybe having Bozeman as your coach isn't always a good thing. After admitting he paid $30,000 to the parents of player Jelani Gardner, Bozeman was forced to resign from Cal in 1996 and was effectively blackballed by college basketball for eight years. He was also accused of making lewd phone calls to a former Cal student and, more recently, of assaulting a restaurant employee for mistakenly giving him ham sandwiches.

2) Lax Power Morgan State was the first historically black college to have a lacrosse team. Founded in 1970 by Chip Silverman, the Bears lax team dominated D-II opponents for half a decade. In 1975, Morgan State pulled off the greatest D-II lacrosse upset ever, knocking off No. 1 Washington & Lee. After the big win, Silverman retired and Morgan State never posted a winning lacrosse season again.

3) State Dominance Morgan State has never made the NCAA Tournament before, but the Bears will not cower in the face of adversity. This season, they have already beaten in-state rivals UMBC, Maryland-Eastern Shore, Towson and Maryland. No, that is not a typo. Morgan State beat Maryland 66-65 back in January. Solely because of that victory, the Bears earned the right to call the Terrapins their in-state rivals. — Jacob E. Osterhout (Storming The Floor/Examiner.com)

[Ed. note: How great is the Morgan State Bear? "QUIET YOU!"]

Join the Deadspin Pants Party Group Pool [ESPN]
Download the Deadspin Bracket [PDF or JPG]

If anyone has earned the right to talk a big game, it's Paris. She was AP national player of the year as a sophomore, will likely win her third Big 12 Player of the Year award this season, and has had a double-double in all but four games for her entire career. But while lots of athletes like to guarantee wins, few would risk a four-year scholarship in the event they couldn't back it up.

"If we don't, which is not even an option," Paris said after the applause died down, "just to put something on the line - and it might take me the rest of my life - I will pay back my scholarship because I didn't do what I said I was going to do."

In other words ... up yours, Joe Namath. There is one little problem though—Connecticut, which is undefeated and possibly the best women's college basketball team of all time. However, even after having a few days to think about it, Paris stands by a promise that would cost her roughly $64,000 if she fails.

"So when you're good enough and don't do something, then you have to take accountability for that and that's your own fault. We can win a national championship. If we don't, I'll feel like I didn't earn my scholarship."

In case you're wondering, WNBA rookies make less than $45,000 a year. On the other hand, her dad is former '49er Bubba Paris, so maybe she can borrow it from him.

Courtney sticking by guarantee [The Oklahoman]
Courtney Paris Guarantees National Championship [Crimson And Cream Machine]
OU wins, Paris says team will win it all [Tulsa World]

I used to think that Notre Dame bias was just a myth, until I saw this. Also, Georgetown needs to schedule more games. Thanks to sharp-eyed viewer Cole Dabney, whose camera is always at the ready.

Well, back to our game. How many overtimes are we up to now?

National Player of the Year favorite Blake Griffin scored just two points in 11 minutes of floor time before being forced to the bench by an apparent concussion and his Sooner teammates were unable to hold off AJ Abrams (23 points) and his Texas teammates. Freshman sensation Willie Warren kept things interesting with 27 points and six assists but his Sooners came out on the wrong end of a 73-68 final score.

That should improve Gary's mood. Embattled Maryland coach Gary Williams got a much needed win over third ranked UNC thanks in large part to the efforts of Greivis Vasquez who electrified the College Park crowd with 35 points, 11 rebounds, and 10 assists. It was the first triple-double by a Terp since 1987, and it couldn't have come at a better time. At 17-9 Maryland needed a signature win to improve their tournament resume, and an 88-85 overtime thriller provided just that. Tyler "Beaker" Hansbrough scored just 11 points, the smallest output by any of the Tar Heel starters.

We'll take that top spot. Last night Pitt's DeJuan Blair capped off a spectacular week with 20 points and 18 rebounds in just 23 minutes against an over-matched Depaul squad. The Panthers all but assured themselves of the number one ranking with the 80-61 victory sandwiched in between losses by UNC and Oklahoma.

Marquette's schedule is seriously backloaded (last five games: @ Georgtown, UConn, @ Louisville, @ Pitt, Syracuse), but the good news is that they have an opportunity to roll up an impressive record while the rest of the league slugs the crap out of each other. Only four Eagles combined for all 71 points, but Jerel McNeal had 27 of them last night and the Eagles pulled away late.

Notre Dame, meanwhile, has been effectively eliminated from the conference race and must scramble to simply try and rack up enough wins to make to the NCAA tournament. Luke HARANGODY! had 29 and 17, but didn't score in the final 3:30 as the Irish have followed a 45-game home winning streak with a two-game home losing streak (and four in a row overall.) They were ranked in the Top 10 at one point, but have simply been crushed by the toughest part of their schedule. Then again, they are Notre Dame. [Chicago Tribune]

Oklahoma 89, Oklahoma St 81: News flash: Blake Griffin is good. He had 19 rebounds—one more than all of the Cowboys combined—while Austin Johnson threw in five three-pointers and that was enough for the Sooners to hold off a late OSU rally.

Does anyone else get a Danny Manning/Carmelo Anthony vibe off this guy? Like, Griffin may or may not be the best player in the country, but he's exactly the kind of guy who can carry a team to six straight wins in March? Simply typing that sentence is probably a lifetime jinx, but a little pressure never bothered Sam Bradford, right? [Kansas City Star]

Once this game is decided tonight, all disputes between the schools, nay, the two states, are henceforth terminated. That's the beauty of sports, folks! The way it so clearly and cleanly ends all debate. Also, the way the light shines off Blake Griffin's nearly bald head as he expertly collects his double-digit points and rebounds, pairing them off two-by-two, like cute little endangered animals waiting to be rescued from the flood.

Oh, yeah. Hero worship. That's the other thing I love about sports.

Anyway, this Top Ten matchup will immediately follow the Top 20 matchup between Louisville and Notre Dame, making tonight's TV double-header an excellent time to start weaning yourself off of college and pro football. Unless, you're a New York Giants fan. You folks may continue to wallow in self-pity for as long as you like.

Game To Watch: Texas at Oklahoma [SI]
Game Preview: Louisville [Irish Eyes]
Let's do this again [Card Chronicle]

They're partying like crazy at the University of Florida today; which come to think of it, only means that it's Friday. But in Oklahoma pour the unfathomable tears of sadness. Poor band clarinet girl. Poor Sooners. Poor Curly.

Meanwhile, headline writers who enjoy lame puns are also celebrating. Chomp goes the dynamite!

National Championship Puns Come Sooner Rather Than Later [Real Clear Sports]