So let's get this straight. A possibly senile old man goes to a hospital's charity auction and buys what he believes to be a bronze sculpture of former NBA nutjob Dennis Rodman. The fact that someone would create a seven-foot bronze ode to Carmen Electra's ex-husband did not seem odd to him, because he is not even a basketball fan. He just thought it was good art. I repeat, he thought a giant over-sized likeness of Dennis Rodman would just look good in his study.

The wacky Vermont media was all over the theft story, forcing Grace Cottage Hospital to call the AP and reassure them that the statue they sold at their art fair was not actually sculpted to look like Dennis Rodman. The auctioneer just thought that it resembled him and made a joke about it. And that was enough to convince a 70-year-old man to buy it and have it shipped to his house. Except that he might not have done that either. The hospital says "they believe the piece was left at the auction site on the town common and grabbed by scavengers after the event." In some towns, that's called stealing, but if we're going by the old man's version of events, he probably just put a "Free Statue" sign on it and assumed that was his delivery receipt.

The fact that either one of these stories appeared in a newspaper and ended up in my inbox gives me warm and fuzzy feelings about Vermont. It's like the whole state is run by the Lollipop Guild. The good news is that if any enterprising statue makers out there would like to create a seven-foot bronze replica of Dennis Rodman, there is apparently a market for it.

Bronze statue of Dennis Rodman stolen from Townshend [Burlington Free Press]
Hospital says statue was not of Rodman [Fox 44]

* * * * *

It's almost time for the Late Shift with Barry Petchesky. Bronze statues for everyone!

Glavine was released by Atlanta yesterday, one day after throwing six shutout innings that he assumed would be the last hurdle on his last major league comeback. But then the Braves had to go and remind everyone that Single A Rome is not the National League East and all Cy Youngs considered, they're just going to go with the rookie instead. (They called up super prospect Tommy Hanson.)

So after 22 seasons (geez, we're old guys) and 682 starts is this the end of the line? The Braves made it perfectly clear that it's not a money issue and that they just don't think Glavine has the stuff anymore—but if they won't take a flyer on him, will anyone else? Actually, someone will always take a chance on you if you're left-handed and breathing, so I guess the question is who? And what will they pay him? (Not much.)

Maybe the real question is, should he bother? No one goes out the way they want to go out, so maybe he should just get to work on that Senior PGA career.

Oh, and in related news, the Braves got Nate McLouth from Pittsburgh so all their problems are solved.

It hurts to say it, but it was time for Tom Glavine to go [Atlanta Journal Constitution]
Braves GM: Glavine release a 'performance decision' [AJC]
Atlanta Braves cut 305-game winner Tom Glavine [ESPN]

Yesterday, Craig Biggio celebrate the announcement of his end-of-season retirement by hitting a grand slam. Nice. Randy Johnson, on the other hand, is frustrated — so unlike him! — and is openly talking about never playing again.

Johnson, we understand, because he's 43 and built like Uwe Blab. But Biggio, Biggio will be eternally young for us. We know his skills have faded, but that doesn't mean we can't struggle to come to terms with the fact that we remember when Craig Biggio was a young catcher, and now he's too old to play. Which makes us too old to do lots of things.

Is This The End For Randy Johnson [Lion In Oil]
Game Hero [Crawfish Boxes]