By now everybody knows the modern Olympic Games system—whereby competing cities bid for the right to piss the GDP of Iceland into shabbily constructed venues that will host esoteric sports competitions for three weeks and then persist as rotting, uninhabited, politically radioactive civic boondoggles unto eternity—is…
The Olympics are over, and if you’ve ever wondered what the games would be like if each country was represented by the cars it manufactures, then here you go. Just don’t count on America’s cars taking home as many medals as the real American Olympians.
As reported earlier, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe appeared at the 2016 Rio Olympics’ closing ceremony as Mario. But that wasn’t the only Japanese pop culture cameo.
After almost a week of mysterious reports, grainy security camera piss videos, and international flight drama, the New York Times today has a detailed report that pulls together what seems like the most definitive timeline of what happened with Ryan Lochte and three other U.S. swimmers in the early morning at a Rio…
Usain Bolt went and won his third consecutive gold medal in the 200m this evening, a few days after he won his third straight gold medal in the 100m. Bolt is an all-timer, and the only sprinter ever to defend both sprint golds twice. He’s also the most famous living Jamaican, with a massive, enthusiastic fanbase. What…
Saori Yoshida is about as dominant as anyone in the international wrestling scene, having won three Olympic gold medals and 13 world championships. Women’s wrestling joined the modern Olympics in 2004, making Yoshida the only gold medalist ever in the 53 kilogram class. The Japanese wrestler had never earned anything…
Ryan Lochte and James Feigen, the two swimmers who initially spoke to police and told them they’d been robbed in a taxi, have officially been indicted by Rio police for falsely reporting a crime, O Globo is reporting. ABC News also confirmed the indictment.
On the night she was murdered, Stella Walsh was in a great mood. The Cleveland resident spent much of December 4, 1980, thinking about her two passions: sports and Poland, the country she ran for when she won two Olympic medals. There was a women’s basketball match the next week between Kent State and the Polish…
According to a report from The Guardian, a member of Britain’s Olympic team was robbed at gunpoint early Tuesday morning. The report doesn’t have many details from the incident, such as who it was or where the robbery took place, just that it happened while the victim was “enjoying a night on the town.” However, they…
Swimming, like most racing sports, is relatively simple. Competitors swim back and forth across a pool, for a set distance, using a set stroke. There are more technical skills needed to succeed in the pool than on the track, but hydrodynamic butterfly entry techniques aside, it’s a straightforward sport, and…
This whole story about US swimmers Ryan Lochte, Gunnar Bentz, Jack Conger, and Jimmy Feigen maybe or maybe not getting robbed at gunpoint by men who were maybe posing as Brazilian police officers is fishy and riddled with inconsistencies. Brazilian police cast doubt on Lochte’s story, and earlier today, a Brazilian…
Usain Bolt, last seen showing the 100 meter dash field a clean pair of heels, is even faster across 200 meters. For the spectator, this mostly means that he has more time to show out.
The gymnastics medals at the Rio Olympics are all spoken for. The last event final was yesterday, but athletes took to the floor for the gala today, in which Olympic gymnasts strip, dance, and generally do cool gymnastics moves for the crowd to laugh at. The best one was this human jumprope.
Brazilian Thiago Da Silva left the pole vault finals with a gold medal and an Olympic record. Japanese pole vaulter Hiroki Ogita left with a 21st-place finish and a dick foible seen ‘round the world.
What is it, exactly, that makes me a woman? Is it my breasts? If so, is it because they are a certain size? Is it that I have a womb? Does it matter that I have no idea if my womb works because I’ve never tried to get pregnant? Is it my two X chromosomes or my level of testosterone? I have no idea the status of either…
Synchronized swimming came in fairly low in our rankings of every Olympic medal event. I know as much about it as I do about horse sports, which is to say, not much. It seems like a nice chill activity for the elderly, those who want to dance in the water, or perhaps athletes with joint problems who want a low-impact…
British track cyclists have thus far dominated the velodrome at the Rio Olympics. They have 11 medals, while no other country has more than two. The women’s sprint gold medal was one of the few that got away, as Germany’s Kristina Vogel defeated Rebecca James this afternoon to take the win.
Jeffrey Julmis of Haiti must have thought he was in the plain old vanilla 100m race instead of the 110m hurdles this afternoon. While approaching the first hurdle in the race, Julmis offered a meager hop, and ended up tangled up in it on the deck.
I’ve never thrown a discus before, nor have I attended a discus throw, but I would imagine there is a lot of retrieving the said discus. Luckily, the Rio Olympics have these cute little remote controlled trucks to speed up the task.
Allyson Felix lost the 400-meter final by just seven agonizing hundredths of a second, after Bahamanian runner Shaunae Miller dove right at the finish line to hold off Felix’s charge from behind. The 30-year-old Felix came into the final stretch well behind Miller, but managed to almost run her down, before Miller…
