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IOC Lets Athletes And Sponsors Market During The Olympics, As Long As They Say Nothing About The Olympics

Brigham Young University professor of statistics Jared Ward finished third in February’s US Olympic Trials Marathon, filling the final spot on the Rio-bound marathon team. The married father of two is almost unknown outside the competitive running community, but has been successful enough in the last year to attract…

Ex-World Sailing Chief Claims He Was Fired For Trying To Move Olympic Racing Out Of Shit-Filled Bay

The sailing events at the 2016 Rio Olympics are currently scheduled to take place in Guanabara Bay, which is full of shit. A German sailor has already been hospitalized after he reportedly contracted MRSA in a training event last August, and experts say “three teaspoons” of the bay’s water will be enough to give 99…

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