Step 1: Deliberately eschew any awareness re: the focus of the website you're producing content for, giving a big "fuck you" to the very model for success that allows said website to financially compensate your ass in the first place.
Step 2: Antagonize the loyal readers of that website through a continued series of faux-intellectual and masturbatory exercises in dime-store satire. Bonus points if you can further obfuscate the delivery and set-up of these articles to the point that even the more learned of your readers view your offering as the weblog equivalent of Thomas Friedman's wet fever dream.
Step 3: Pat yourself on the back.
Step 4: Revise previous postings to include even more hilarious puns on the name "Obama." Wonder aloud if "Obamapolis" is trademarked. Further wonder aloud why Slate won't return your phone calls.
Step 5: Chalk the widespread disdain for your style of writing up to the lowered intelligence quotients of the beer-swilling, dick-pumping, testosterone-laden clusterfuck of Neanderthal mentality that construct your target audience.
Step 6: Create a hyper-literate and witty tagline in a painfully transparent attempt to re-ground whatever nonsense you just composed in the basis of humor. Fail miserably.
@ClintonPortishead: The biggest shame of all is AJ knows this is exactly what Moe is going to do when he assigns her a weekend shift.
That is unless she continues to pinky swear that this time she will actually talk about sports and not come off sounding like a complete condescending hack.
@ClintonPortishead:
Step 5:...lowered intelligence quotients of the beer-swilling, dick-pumping, testosterone-laden clusterfuck of Neanderthal mentality that construct your target audience."
Fuck you, I only drink beer on Poker Night, the rest of the time I drink Vodka.
If you're a liberal and don't find this funny, it is because you don't like being made fun of.
If you're a connie and don't find this funny, it is because you probably think this way in truf.
11/01/09
10/28/09
10/28/09
10/28/09
10/28/09
10/28/09
10/28/09
10/28/09
10/28/09
10/28/09
10/28/09
10/28/09
10/18/09
10/03/09
Step 2: Antagonize the loyal readers of that website through a continued series of faux-intellectual and masturbatory exercises in dime-store satire. Bonus points if you can further obfuscate the delivery and set-up of these articles to the point that even the more learned of your readers view your offering as the weblog equivalent of Thomas Friedman's wet fever dream.
Step 3: Pat yourself on the back.
Step 4: Revise previous postings to include even more hilarious puns on the name "Obama." Wonder aloud if "Obamapolis" is trademarked. Further wonder aloud why Slate won't return your phone calls.
Step 5: Chalk the widespread disdain for your style of writing up to the lowered intelligence quotients of the beer-swilling, dick-pumping, testosterone-laden clusterfuck of Neanderthal mentality that construct your target audience.
Step 6: Create a hyper-literate and witty tagline in a painfully transparent attempt to re-ground whatever nonsense you just composed in the basis of humor. Fail miserably.
Sound about right?
10/03/09
That is unless she continues to pinky swear that this time she will actually talk about sports and not come off sounding like a complete condescending hack.
10/03/09
10/03/09
10/03/09
Step 5:...lowered intelligence quotients of the beer-swilling, dick-pumping, testosterone-laden clusterfuck of Neanderthal mentality that construct your target audience."
Fuck you, I only drink beer on Poker Night, the rest of the time I drink Vodka.
10/03/09
*spits sideways into bucket*
10/03/09
10/03/09
*Not from Doylestown
10/03/09
LSU is not a number 4 team, despite the win, but there really are not many great teams around these days.
10/04/09
10/03/09
10/03/09
If you're a liberal and don't find this funny, it is because you don't like being made fun of.
If you're a connie and don't find this funny, it is because you probably think this way in truf.
I voted for Donald Duck.
10/03/09
And read the comments.
And laughed long. And hard.
Mmmm...long and hard.