When last we saw them: Finished 52-30, first in the Southeast Division, third overall in the East. Went buh-bye in the conference semis, courtesy of their semi-nemeses the Pistons.

Here: Anthony Johnson, Courtney Lee, Dwayne Jones, Mickael Pietrus

There: Carlos Arroyo, James Augustine, Keyon Dooling, Maurice Evans, Pat Garrity

The Good: Dwight Howard is like the monster under your bed, only in this case "your bed" is that painted region under most regulation NBA baskets. Last season, Supes averaged career highs in points (20.7), rebounds (14.2) and blocks (2.2), and many people expect him to take the Next Big Step in the coming months. Hedo Turkoglu went from "decent complimentary piece" to "certified second banana" (19.5 PPG, 5.7 RPG, 5.0 APG and countless clutch shots). Rashard Lewis provides points (18.2 PPG) and strokage from outside that big half-circle (a team-high 226 threes on 41 percent shooting in 07-08). Past their three-man boom-boom-boom, Jameer Nelson gives them solid production at the one spot (10.9 PPG, 5.6 APG, 41.6 percent three-point marskmanship). The return of Tony Battie, a true power forward, will provide rebounding, interior defense, and the option to (at times) play Lewis at small forward, which is a better fit for him. Mickael Pietrus can provide some defensive stoppage on the perimeter, something the Magic have been sorely missing. J.J. Redick might be ready to actually, you know, play and stuff (10.5 PPG, 51.1 percent shooting and 10 three-pointers in six preseason games). Courtney Lee — selection number 22 in this year's draft — rocked the NBA Summer League for 20 PPG, so he might be ready to contribute sooner than expected. Oh, and coach Stan Van Gundy is always good for a few funny quotes and/or Ron Jeremy references. Plus, fans love his suits.

The Bad: Their front court was dominant last season...but there are some reasons for concern. Howard and Turk both had perfect attendance, and Lewis missed only one game. Odds are against all three of them staying so healthy over another 82-game meat grinder. Howard is amazing, but he needs to stay focused, improve defensively and (even more so) at the line, and add some offensive moves so that he's not as reliant on his freakish athleticism. After signing that $122 million contract last summer, Lewis' averages in points, rebounds and field goal percentage all dropped from his last year in Seattle, a trend that continued (and worsified even) in the playoffs. Can Turkoglu build on what he did during last year's breakout season? Particularly since he plans to opt out of his contract next summer and the Magic - who have $200+ million wrapped up in Lewis, Howard and Nelson - might not be able to re-sign him. That means, of course, they might seriously consider moving him before the trade deadline. Even if they don't, they'll probably at least explore the idea, and that kind of distraction rarely improves individual play and team chemistry. More troubling, however, is Orlando's so-so starting back court. At a mere six feet short - and that's probably being generous - Nelson is undersized and gets regularly pushed around by the league's bigger guards (which is just about everybody). Keith Bogans is, technically speaking, a starting shooting guard in the NBA, but his defense and shooting (41 from the field, 36 from three) are both "eh," and he can't really break his opponents down or create his own shot attempts. The team's depth is more than a little iffy, as meaningful production from the Redick, Pietrus, Battie, Lee and Brian Cook combo platter is hardly a sure thing. And, finally, this team has Shaqnopsis at the charity stripe: In 2007-08, the Magic were third in the league in free throw attempts (28 per game) but only 27th in free throw percentage (72.1 percent). As we all know, a few missed 'throws here or there often means the difference between winning and lo-hoo-hoosing.

Fun Facts: Dwight Howard had 69 double-doubles last season, tops in the league. He also racked up eight double-doubles in Orlando's 10 playoff games. In 2007-08, Howard was hacked on 30 percent of his shot attempts, also tops in the league. By, like, a lot. (Amare Stoudemire was second at 24 percent). Alas, despite leading the NBA in free-throw attempts (897), Howard shot a slightly-better-than-Shaq 59 percent at the line. Now here's a shocker for you: The Magic have shot an average of 46 percent from the field over the last five seasons, and that's better than any other team in the Association. (Yeah, I couldn't believe it either.) Like the Bulls, Heat, Raptors and Jazz, the Magic have a team rule that prohibits the wearing of headbands by its players during games. The Magic have only one retired number: 6 for "The Sixth Man - The Fans." Note that the number unretired in 2001-2002 for Patrick Ewing. Scott Skiles is Orlando's all-time leader in assists with 2,776.

Videotastic extra: The Magic's mascot, Stuff, would do anything for love. But he won't do that. No he won't do that.

On the surface, Raptors versus Magic is limited in flash, intrigue and sex appeal, as it pits two teams that were founded less than 20 years ago against each other. Neither of the teams are rich in history, neither has ever won a championship nor put a player in the Hall of Fame (Olajuwon doesn't count!). Both teams will inevitably be stomped in the next round by the Detroit Pistons. Save for Dwight Howard's dunk contest appearance, none of these teams made headlines for anything significant this year (not even for ill business like somebody shooting a gun into the sky). Oh, and both teams started off the season looking much better but then kind of fizzled out in March and April, even in the flaccid Eastern Conference,

And nonetheless, I could not be more thrilled. Jose Calderon! Hedo Turkoglu! Anthony Parker! International fireworks and the greatest interborder battle since the war over Canada's dirt-cheap prescription drugs. What gives me cause for so much zeal and fervor surrounding this series, you might ask? Well, allow me to break down this series with 100 "games within the games" (if you will) that you'll want to watch intently:

100. Sam Mitchell vs. Stan Van Gundy. A battle of coaches who can completely lose their shit at any moment. To me, Sam Mitchell will forever be the man because not only did he actually challenge one of his players (his star player, Vince Carter) to a fight; but because he kept his job after doing so and the player got shipped off elsewhere! Seriously, that is some modern day Leo Durocher/Billy Martin shit. One of the highly underrated moments of badassedness during the more-conservative-by-the-day David Stern era. Van Gundy, on the other hand, came into this season looking like he had a vendetta against the entire league for how dirty he was done in Miami. The guy even started throwing shots back in South Beach's direction. Also, I thought it was pretty cool that he called out Dwight Howard for defensive issues and his zero playoff wins. Basically, I'm just waiting for something to piss either Mitchell or SVG off tremendously.

99. Chris Bosh vs. Dwight Howard. This one is straight Redwoods versus Evergreens, and as fun as it will be to watch the sinewy Bosh weave in and out of God's Son's grasp, this series belongs to Howard. I'm ready to see D-Ho put up Shaq-in-his-prime type numbers and the YouTube search servers to be all jammed up with requests for "Rasho Nesterovic's grill."

98. Raptor vs. Stuff the Magic Dragon. Battle of the Marketing Departments Round 1. Both the Raptors' staff and the Magic's staff have curious views about the use of creativity in mascot naming. Raptor is on some "here it is fuck you" Shellac shit whereas "Stuff" incorporates punnery, Disney sponsorship, basketball references, and Peter, Paul, & Mary into an acid trip gone awry. Score 1 for Toronto's peoples.

97. The clash of horrendous color-centric playoff slogans in Battle of the Marketing Departments Round 2: Are you Red-y?" vs. "Blue and White Ignite." I didn't think it could be done, but the Magic's marketing department knotted this thing up at 1-1. We'll have to keep an eye on what type of faux Terrible Towel cloth these teams' fans get their hands on.

96. Awful hometown bands that could potentially sit courtside: Barenaked Ladies vs. O-Town. With all the crap tweeny music that Orlando has generated over the last decade, Toronto is winning this one in a landslide. Plus, when it comes to music in general, the T-Dot is at least responsible for Saukrates and South Rakkas crew.

95. T.J. Ford vs. Jameer Nelson. Dwarf toss.

Ok, I give up. I've pined over statistics, news columns, Wikipedia entries and blogs for the past three hours and, I admit it, this series has all the intrigue of a Little House on the Prairie marathon. The only insight I have left is that the lower tier of Orlando's bench sounds like a cast of characters from a high-powered Western:

James Augustine
Pat Garrity
Bo Outlaw
Marcin Gortat (the obligatory El Paso compadre)

I'm really hoping that a fight breaks out or Andrea Bargnani starts humping the floor or Scott Skiles comes back from the grave to suit up for the Magic. Hey, these series' can't all be Michelangelos. Sometimes the events of this crazy league simply don't fall into place properly, and we're stuck with a sculpture of a plastic heart. Lord knows I'll be watching every minute regardless.

This is more like it! The Boston and Detroit series are pretty much in the bag already, unless an angry God decides to suck Kevin Garnett and the Pistons' starting five into an alternate dimension full of giant, angry wombats. But this matchup could actually be competitive.

The season series: The Magic won it 2-1.

Good news for the Raptors: The first game between these two teams was close all the way. The dinos won the second game in a blowout. They got blown out in the third game, but Chris Bosh didn't play because of an injury. All of which means that, on paper, the two teams were pretty evenly matched ... but with a slight edge to Toronto.

Bad news for the Raptors: The Magic went on a mini-run at the end of the season, winning three in a row and taking five of their last seven. More important, their guards performed well (particularly Maurice Evans), and the reserves even got some meaningful PT in the season finale (J.J. Redick and Marcin Gortat both had career-highs in points). And a little confidence going into the postseason is always a good thing.

Reality check: Toronto is heading into the playoffs with all the breakneck momentum of a fat person who has grown so morbidly obese their body has actually become fused to the furniture. I'm going to let you think about that one for a minute. Disgusted? Good. Now let's move on.

The Raps finished the season by losing two of their last three games — including a huge setback to Detroit's bench while they were fighting for playoff position and the Pistons were just coasting along — and the one win was against the Washington Generals Miami Heat. Overall, Toronto has gone 9-17 over their last 26 games, which doesn't just seem bad. It is bad.

Magic player(s) to watch: Dwight Howard, for one. First of all: Dunk city, baby! Second, and more important: Defense. We know Superman is going to score and rebound, but he's also got to defend the paint and guard Chris Bosh on the perimeter. That won't be easy. Also, Orlando's guards — Jameer Nelson and Maurice Evans — probably need to start producing at some point. This is as good a time as any.

Raptors player(s) to keep an eye on: Chris Bosh proved in February that he can use and abuse Dwight Howard...under the right circumstances. And did you know that Rasho Nesterovic can opt out of his contract this summer? Well, he can. Which, in effect, makes this season a contract year for him. And, wouldn't you know it, he's been on fire lately! Never underestimate the heart of somebody who's playing for a contract. Also, T.J. Ford could ruin everything if he tries to go all "2005-06 Kobe" (without the talent) on the Magic.

Key(s) to the series: The guard play. Now that Nesterovic is on a roll and Jamario Moon has arrived, the opposing frontcourts should pretty much cancel each other out (with a slight edge going to Orlando). This means that T.J. Ford and his backup (who really should be starting) Jose Calderon need to get their boys easy shots while scoring efficiently themselves. Shouldn't be a problem for Jose — who has 66 assists and only 1 turnover in April! — but watching T.J. play is always an adventure. And not one of those fun jungle adventures where you find a golden skull and save the girl of your dreams from a giant gorilla while narrowly escaping a bunch of poison-dart-shooting natives.

Prediction: I'm thinking Orlando wins this one 4-1. The Raptors are good at home (25-16), but the Magic are even better than that on the road (27-14). However, if the irrational enthusiasm of the Toronto fanbase has any effect whatsoever, this series could go the full seven. But I doubt it.

So much so, in fact, that a scuffle ensued following a mad dash for Lewis' autograph.

Rashard Lewis said he and his family attended the dinner show at Medieval Times when some kids believed to be teenagers asked for his autograph. [...]

Kissimmee police Lt. John Lewis - no relation to Rashard Lewis - said officers were summoned after one group of high-school students thought another group was getting too much time posing for pictures with the basketball star. In the ensuing scuffle, which involved two girls and a boy, one teen lost a cell phone and another lost a camera memory card, the lieutenant said.

See, Red Knight: That's how you treat fans. Always leave 'em wanting more ...

Teens Fight For Rashard Lewis' Autograph At Medieval Times [Ball Don't Lie]

• By The Moon And The Stars And The Sky. I swear, every Saturday "NBA Closer" I write includes a picture of Dwight Howard dunking, some ridiculous stat-line and a Magic victory. Seriously. Howard had 29 points and 21 rebounds and Turkoglu capped a 22-point night with a huge 3-pointer with 11 seconds left as the Magic survived a career high 48 from Wade to beat the Heat 121-114 in OT. The win marked Stan Van Gundy's first return to South Florida since his — monster finger quotes here — "abrupt resignation" two years ago.

• Aaliyah Was Right. The Blazers are too young. The Pistons are too old. Yes yes, we know. Super sophomores Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge combined for 43 points to push the Blazers over the Wolves for Portland's league-leading 12th consecutive win. Meanwhile in another NBA arena, Billups, Rasheed and Rip Hamilton — all old — scored in double figures to give the Pistons their season-high seventh straight victory as they pulled past the Pacers, 114-101. Detroit has now won 14 of their last 16 games.

• The Power Of Zen. Kobe scored 31 points before sitting out the fourth as his Lakers beat the Jazz 123-109, giving Phil Jackson his 938th regular-season victory and a share of seventh place with Red Auerbach on the career list. As Naismith would have it, P-Jax will look to pass Red when the Lakers host the C's on Sunday.

• Yoink! Jason Kapono scored 10 of his 15 points in the fourth quarter to lead the mighty Raptors past the dismal Spurs 83-73. San Ant shot just 32 percent from the floor and coughed the ball over 19 times. Holiday Nightmare Ant nods his mandibles in approval.

The San Francisco Zoo remains closed today as authorities investigate the fatal mauling of New York Knicks' coach Isiah Thomas, whom witnesses say was seen taunting a Siberian tiger at the railing of a sealed grotto on Tuesday. The incident ends a sad chapter in Knicks' history, as the large jungle cat finally accomplished what New York protesters could not. Ignoring fans' pleas to fire the embattled coach, Knicks president James Dolan only last week gave his support to Thomas ... plus a complimentary Zoo Pass with coupon good for a free endangered animal ring tone. The Knicks honored their unfortunate coach on Wednesday by charging out and losing to the Orlando Magic, 110-96.

"Siberian tigers tend to become aggressive when exposed to shooting percentages below 35 percent," said wild animal expert Roger Smale, curator of the San Diego Wildlife Park. "Tigers appreciate sound defensive principles and teamwork. Sadly coach Thomas was in the wrong place at the wrong time." The Magic had lost four straight at home before Wednesday's victory, getting 26 points from Hedo Turkoglu and 25 from Rashard Lewis.

• Trouble In River City. Believe it or not, the Celtics hadn't won in Sacramento since 1996; until Wednesday, when Paul Pierce scored 14 of his 16 points during a 33-5 run in the second quarter, leading Boston over the Kings 89-69. And just for the record, there is nothing more fun than driving out to watch the home team put up a big 69. Fun.

• It's All About ME. Every single child in America owns at least one Monta Ellis jersey, and for good reason: The Big ME scored a career-high 35 points to lead Golden State over Minnesota 105-101; the Warriors' fifth straight home victory.

• Motor City Madness. Are you starting to get the feeling that the Pistons are planning a big party at the end of the season? No looting, Pistons' fans! Richard Hamilton scored 22 points as Detroit shot 78 percent in the third quarter, beating the Nets 101-83. It was the Pistons' sixth straight win.

Orlando? Really? But I thought Orlando was one of the best teams in the East? Sure enough, the Magic really bit it against the Utah Jazz, 113-94. You'll have that when Paul Millsap scored 13 straight points for Utah in the third quarter en route to his best darned game ever in the pros: 28 points. "We had a teamwide effort of guys gettin' their ass kicked, and we have a lot of guys right now that are OK with that as long as they get their numbers. So it's probably gonna continue until we get some guys who wanna win." I'm with ya, Stan. It's a team game, not about all this selfish ... wow, Hedo Turkoglu, you scored 27 points? By yourself? Would you sign my boobs?

But The Man On The TV Said Explicitly That There Were Three Players On The Team! — I guess there are other players on the Boston Celtics, turns out. Having not watched a game of theirs on TV, I would have imagined they were literally playing only three people on the court at a time, which would have made that 21-3 start all the more impressive. But there are others. Kendrick Perkins, James Posey, and Tony Allen all scored in double figures in their 107-82 rout of the Chicago Bulls. So knowing this makes a lot more sense. They're playing six guys at once. That is against the rules and should be looked into.

Connecting Distant Dots — ESPN ran a graphic last night of teams who picked first in the NBA draft and how long a winning streak they went on that following year. Apparently no team ever drafted first and went on to win more than nine games in a row until this year, when Portland made it to 10 with an exciting 99-96 win over Denver. Clearly it's a coincidental stat, because the Wizards won nine straight games after drafting Kwame Brown. So there. Top draft pick Greg Oden hasn't even played for them this year. But I hear he keeps having to change physical therapists after picking up two quick fouls.

Elias Knows This One Without Peeking — ESPN is still working on the correlation between teams who traded for Nazr Mohammed and went on to beat the New York Knicks by double digits. So far we know of one team: the Charlotte Bobcats, who won 105-95. Mohammed scored 20 points and got 14 rebounds.

• A Million Mohammed's Couldn't Stop Dwight Anyway. The Bobcats traded center Primoz Brezec and sexy forward Walter Herrmann to Detroit on Friday for Pistons' big man Nazr Mohammed. Unfortunately, the deal was pulled off a little too late. Minus the services of all three, Dwight Howard posted 33 points and 18 rebounds as the Magic beat the undermanned and ESPN-darlings-for-a-day Bobcats 103-87 to snap a three-game slide.

• Early Game Of The Season Candidate. I suggest you get your eyeballs on some cathode ray tubes to watch the highlights from this Lakers-Warriors tilt. (All-Star) Baron Davis nailed a monster 3-pointer with 16.8 seconds to play as Golden State roared from behind in the final minutes to snap a nine-game losing streak to LA with the 108-106 W. See: there is a method to the GS madness.

• Snapped / Still Going. The Kings finally won a road game with a 109-99 victory over the 76ers last night. Brad Miller had 25 points and 10 rebounds and Mikki Moore tied his career-high with 24 for the Kings, who entered the game with nine straight road losses to open a season. And on the opposite end of the spectrum, Paul Pierce scored a season-high 32 points as the Celtics overcame Jesus' absence to beat the Bucks 104-82 and match a franchise record with their 12-0 start at home.

• Kap Bust A Cap In Yo Ass. Jason Kapono made 6 of 7 3-pointers — all in the second half! — finishing with a career-high 29 as the Raps beat the Pacers 104-93. "It feels great," Kapono said post-game. "You want to take about 40 shots. I kept yelling 'Hey, pass me the ball.' They say, 'You're standing 45 feet outside of the 3-point arc.' I'm saying 'Hey, pass me the ball, still.' Jason Kapono: cold-blooded shooter; great comedic timing.

If you're surprised at the Orlando Magic's strong start, you haven't watched Dwight Howard this season. At various times in his young career, Howard's been overpowering, agile, immense, fluid, frightening and startling. Now, he's all that at once, and his NBA's buzz index has lept into the red. Henry Abbott's watching Howard every chance he gets — previously the kind of thing one said only about the Phoenix Suns — and Jack McCallum's giving him the royal treatment. I'm even returning to Eric Neel's 2006 claim that Howard, not Bron Bron, would hold the league's spine high over his head.

This holiday season, I'm downright thankful for Dwight Howard. Not just for the orgiastic basketball fury he's visited upon the entire league, but also for a more personal matter. See, Dwight Howard gave me the gift of life. You know those creepy statistics the radio's so fond of feeding you, about how by the time you die, you'll have spent 19 years asleep, or four stuck in traffic? Well, if you've been alive since the 21st century started, you've probably spent about three months being told how important Big Men are. And for once, I actually care that it's true.

In the NBA, there are big men, and then there are Big Men. Garnett, Amare and Chris Bosh all have height on their side, but they shrink in face of Tim Duncan, Yao or Shaq when the hamburger moon is full. I know that Big Men win championships, especially after watching Shaq and Duncan get rings as effortlessly as a river carving up stone. I also know that Big Men, no matter how dominant or skilled, are a liability for me as a viewer. I remember Young Shaq, Hakeem at his most lyrical, and David Robinson the one time he got loose. Base a team around a Big Man, though, and there's a good chance it'll be a drag.

While Shaq and Duncan are very different players, they have one thing in common: They've been the focal point of dynasties that were hard to watch. Unless Kobe grabbed the reins, the Lakers were methodical and predictable. The Spurs, as versatile as they've proven to be, still rely on throwing the ball down to Duncan and expecting him to deliver. I've never understood why, if an iso is anathema, endless posting up can satisfy the soul. Big Men are closer to the basket, which allows them to play a more simple, predictable version of the game. And, irony of all ironies, the very term "center" is a ceaseless reminder that everything exciting in basketball is a blow against its heritage.

Part of the reason the Suns felt so right in 2004 is that they'd effectively rejected the Big Man. D'Antoni replaced that role with Amare, a springy power forward who was usually going through or over the lane. When Stoudemire went down, Boris Diaw — an oversized point guard — took up that place in the starting line-up. How liberating it felt to experience the NBA without the long shadows of Duncan and Shaq falling over it. Granted, the Suns can't get past Duncan, and teams still lined up to lose games and grab Greg Oden. But at least Phoenix was a team devoid of center-lust, one who mustered up confidence despite having no Big Man. Certainly, this was more convincing than previous attempts by Garnett and Dirk to change the meaning of the seven-footer; both of them ended up stuck with lumbering stiffs by their side.

And yet what makes Howard so terrifying is that — at the risk of making no sense whatsoever — he's a Big Man with the same qualities as the Suns, a true center with all the dynamism of a fast break. It's almost like someone took the pre-surgery Stoudemire, added height and weight and made him learn to survive without Steve Nash. When Amare dunked, it was a split-second shock; Howard, on the other hand, constantly radiates energy and destruction. Watching Howard inch toward the hoop, biding his time until he pounces, is more exciting than most guards taking their man off the dribble. His whole body twitches with possibility, creating the illusion of activity even when, in purely spatial terms, there's very little.

Howard's Magic couldn't have a less inventive offense; Young Thunder rules the earth, sidekick Rashard Lewis strokes threes and occasionally puts it on the floor, and everyone else picks up the scraps. The point, though, is that it doesn't take a gimmick-y system for a team to entertain viewers. There's not such a hard and fast division between execution and fun, substance and style, or The Right Way and my couch. Any role on the floor can be animated, made into something breathtaking, if the right player gets handed it. If a player or team feels stifled, they have no one but themselves to blame. Or maybe nothing but their genes, since Howard's unlikely combination of size and flight seems like something out of the NFL combine.

That's why Orlando stays high in my League Pass rotation, as does New Orleans, who are similarly "old-fashioned" without ever courting blandness. The post-Jordan era taught us that imitators of MJ could make the game every bit as drab as the orthodoxy they rebelled against. Here's to the Dwight Howard, where the past wakes up and realizes it can stand tall in the present.

• Magic Carpet Ride. Leave it to the Orlando Magic to strut into the hostile Oracle Arena — with their pimp canes and iced out goblets — and snap the Warriors' six-game winning streak. Dwight Howard scored four of his 18 in extra time as the NBA's top roadies pulled off the entertaining 123-117 OT victory over Golden State. The Glass Tiger, Howard, nearly cost the Magic the game in regulation when he was assessed with a tech for smacking the padding on the basket after a missed dunk. Ridiculous call. He composed himself though and calmly hit two late free throws to extend the drama. 'Lil Jameer Nelson finished with 22 points, 11 assists and eight rebounds and Keith "Bilbo" Bogans chipped in 22 for the Blue, who are now 11-2 on the road and 16-4 overall under sexy Stan Van Gundy.

• Wild Wild Midwest. Travis Outlaw scored 21 points, including the winning runner at the buzzer, to give the Blazers their first road victory of the season, 106-105 over the Grizzle. Officials reviewed the basket to see if Outlaw got the shot off in time and whether the clock started properly when Portland inbounded the ball with a little less than 3 seconds left. Yup and yup. Mike Miller had a season-high 30 in the loss. His hair-band will be enshrined in Springfield later today.

• You Shall Not See This Come June. Here's to hoping the "experts" that had this one circled as a possible Finals preview did so in pencil. You'd just hate to ruin a perfectly good Far Side desk calendar, you know? Josh Howard scored 27 points and Dirk Nowitzki added 25 as the Mavs hung on to a late double-digit lead to beat the Bulls 103-98. Andres Nocioni scored 14 of his 30 points in the final frame, which was a complete and utter waste of effort.

• Filling The Void. No Chris Bosh (groin), no T.J. Ford (arm), no Andrea Bargnani (girl's name) ... no problem! We run fifteen deep up here, homes. Kris Humphries and Carlos Delfino both scored 17 points, Joey Graham added 13 and three other Dino-bots scored in double figures as Toronto posted their fourth straight home win with a 98-79 drubbing of the Charlotte Hornets. Yes, Hornets. That's what the cover of the game program had listed.

Seriously: Yesterday, it had been exactly a month and two days since one of the three major Boston-area sports teams had lost a game. (The Red Sox lost to the Indians on October 16.) We now know they are vulnerable; in the words of one of our great leaders (apparently), if it bleeds, we can kill it.

It also might be time to slow down, again, on those comparisons to the 1995-96 Bulls. The Celtics are just barely on the Bulls' pace right now, and no one has had a chance to get hurt, slow down or, you know, take a game or two off. In fact, they're in a virtual tie with both New Orleans and Orlando for the best record in the NBA. Where are the Hornets' and the Magic's Bulls Trackers?

Do You Believe iIn Magic? [Celtics Blog]

Lake Mary, Fla., woman Vanessa Lopez used to "date" Redick — that is to say, she held his head while he cried and read her his poetry — and is now involved in a legal dispute with the Magic "guard." And now she is feeling the wrath of the text message.

Vanessa Lopez said she is afraid for her life because of harassing phone calls and text messages from David Redick. "The victim has received multiple phone calls, threatening in nature, offensive in nature. Pretty much that's all we know so far," Lake Mary police officer Mike Connely said.

We appreciate that Redick is using his brother to harass a former girlfriend; after all, what are brothers for? We're assuming the "legal dispute" involves proper possession of the fishnets.

Woman: J.J. Redick's Brother Threatened Me [Local6]

The Orlando Magic have decided that if Billy Donovan no longer wants to coach the team — and they are certain he doesn't — it is Donovan who will have to take the step to legally break his contract with the team. Those close to the situation told the Orlando Sentinel that the Magic expect Donovan soon to begin maneuvers to break the five-year, $27.5 million contract he signed with the team Friday — and then return as coach of the University of Florida Gators at some point. Until a settlement is reached, the Magic not only still consider him their coach but would take him back if he changed his mind again despite the fallout from his stunning reversal.

So who is on the Magic's short list now that Donovan has regained his senses had second thoughts? We bring you Stan Van Gundy, former coach of the Miami Heat, and Spurs assistant coach P.J. Carlesimo. What, no Rick Barry?

Orlando Magic Wait For Billy Donovan To Void Deal [Orlando Sentinel]

I cannot begrudge Billy Donovan for leaving Florida for the NBA. Not after he won back-to-back national titles. Simply put: He has earned the right to do whatever he wants, without anything from Gators fans except, "Thanks for the memories."

Still, the big question on Florida fans' minds: Why the hell would he leave behind what he has built?

For the money? How lame, particularly when you're talking about the difference between $4.X million and $5.X million. I hope that wasn't his motivation.

For the challenge? What, like joining the Rushmore of college coaches (Wooden, Knight, Smith, K) wasn't a tantalizing enough prospect? He'd rather figure out how to shake JJ Redick free for 10 3-point attempts a game?

For the location? I appreciate that coaching in Orlando lets him stay near his family, but what could be closer to his family than staying in Gainesville? In Gainesville, he is a god. In Orlando, he is out-ranked as a local attraction by Goofy.

And the final insult for any college fan, Florida or anywhere: What, exactly, is the lure of coaching in the NBA? On its face, it sounds like the shittiest job in sports.

Zero job security, with a "when" not "if" inevitability of a bad ending to nearly every coaching hire. (Welcome to Indiana, Jim O'Brien!) Star players who run the team. Financial realities that hamstring moves.

Roughest of all, the "Ring or Bust" mentality. Jerry Sloan is the ideal of NBA coaching longevity, yet he is best known for NOT winning a championship. And most of the coaches who have won a title recently (Jackson, Tomjanovich, Popovich) have enjoyed coaching the greatest players of their eras. Dwight Howard is the best post player in the East — not a bad foundation to build a contender — and they have double-digit cap millions to use (please God: NOT Vince Carter...hmm: Gerald Wallace?) But yeesh, those odds are still ugly.

Meanwhile, Billy D was on track to be one of the Top 5 most successful coaches in college hoops history. His style seemed MADE for college. (His weakness - Xs and Os - will be magnified in the NBA, while his strength - personality - will be mitigated.)

Gators fans have been through this before: When Steve Spurrier left for the NFL. Spurrier meekly (and inevitably) returned to college football — to some Florida wannabe. Gator fans, ultimately, were better off without him. But still: When the Ol' Ball Coach returns to Gainesville, the fans cheer him like he never left - for what he did while he was here.

We will feel the same way about Billy D. We don't have to agree with his decision today, but his legacy among fans is secure. Even after he realizes that coaching in the NBA sucks and he flees back to college hoops with another program. By then, Florida will be 100-plus wins into the Anthony Grant Era. Thanks to Billy.

The Orlando Magic's team doctors are about to find themselves with a lot of free time. Grant Hill's contemplating retirement in the wake of Detroit's 97-93 win yesterday. The Magic led by 5 with about 3 minutes play, but things reverted back to the norm over those last three minutes. But Detroit scored 17 points over those last three minutes, and the Magic is gone.

In the late game, Utah beat Houston 98-85 in a game that wasn't nearly that close. Mehmet Okur made an appearance, and was finally up to the daunting task of outscoring Chuck Hayes. Okur had 16 and frustrated Yao (who still had 20) at the defensive end. Andrei Kirilenko, meanwhile ... still starting, and still resembling a D-Leaguer. Three points in 29 minutes.

The Spurs took back control of their series against Denver, winning their second straight after dropping Game One. Duncan, Ginobili, and Parker combined for 60, while Robert Horry — and I think I have to call him "Big Shot Bob" or lightning will strike me — made some plays at the end. As if he makes plays at any other time.

And Cleveland took one more step towards eliminating the Wizards. You have one game left to enjoy the Wizards.

Potentially going home today are the Miami Heat, who are tipping off right about now against the Bulls, and Superstar Kwame Brown looks to even the Lakers series against the Suns at 3:30.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—--

Every April holds two time-tested inevitabilities: Ben Folds will be playing at your college's Spring Fling concert (Blackalicious is opening), and Flip Saunders will be struggling in the NBA playoffs. As a Minnesota Timberwolves fan since the inception of that team, I watched the legacy of Kevin Garnett destroyed not by Kevin McHale (who has gone unfairly villainized for far too long), not by the cruelty of fate (see Malik Sealy), not by the selfishness of supporting actors like Stephon Marbury and Latrell Sprewell, but by Flip. It was Flip who could not defend the pick n' roll, who stubbornly never wavered from his jumpshooting offense, and who coddled KG, never challenging him in the way that Zenmaster did when he told Shaq to stop making genie movies.

In the playoffs it was worse. Saunders always made his adjustments one step slower than the other coach. His perimeter-based offensive schemes were easy for opposing defenses to figure out and his players never got to the foul line. His supposedly "genius" zones were devoured by opposing point guard penetration. Not specific to the Timberwolves, we saw this same pattern of events unfold in the playoffs last year, when LeBron James exhausted (and nearly defeated) Flip's Pistons all by himself before Riley and The Heat bamboozled Detroit in the semifinals. Left without answers, the embodiment of the team's defensive identity, Ben Wallace, fled to Chicago. Many wondered if Flip would be next to go, though not by his own choosing.



The good news is that now in the playoffs zero is expected of Saunders; the bad news is that if the Pistons lose to a very dangerous Orlando team, he will take on a postseason mythology of a Schottenheimerian caliber. Orlando is dangerous because of sneakily good three-point shooting (I'm expecting at least one huge bombardment from Turkoglu or Reddick), a coach with some serious playoff experience, and — aside from LeBron and D-Wade — the best player on the court in any Eastern conference playoff series: Dwight Howard.

This series, and really the entire Eastern Conference playoffs are really all about Dwight Howard, as a philosophical proof. We just endured a season in which Smallball was put forth as the dogma of the future. The Center position now starts taking applications at 6'7". Nobody cares about how terrible cares about how pisspoor of a rebounder Amare Stoudemire is because he can run and jump really fast. Nellie is back in the playoffs. The bigs-are-outdated viewpoint is all well and good, but the facts reveal that since MJ was king, every single NBA finals has been won by either Shaquille O'Neal or Tim Duncan/David Robinson (except for that year when the Larry Brown and the boys gangtackled the Lakers with a plethora of bigs ranging from Darko to Ben Wallace to Elden Campbell).



Putting speculation about Greg Oden aside for a moment, Dwight Howard is the only direct descendant of that true big man lineage. All too reminiscent of happy-Shaq during the "holy f#ck we just kicked the sh#t out of Michael Jordan's comeback party" era, Howard plays looser and with more agility than any other big man in the league right now. He channels vivacity into power like the Hindu god, Mahabaleshwara, and this should have Flip Saunders and his collection of geriatric big men (with about 4.6 ounces of knee cartilage between the four of them) very concerned. Now despite the potential excitement of God's Son winning his first playoff series ever, of course I'm picking Detroit. 'Sheed and Nazr Mohammed sport rings. Antonio McDyess and Chris Webber have gotten so close they could smell it. The mental fortitude of these men alone makes them likely candidates to possibly make the finals.



And what of Webber? This entire season has been one of unexpected redemption, and these playoffs could allow for the storybook finale to this journey. Perhaps the man who bankrupted and destroyed Michigan basketball — through gaffes and improprieties — could rebuild Michigan basketball in a way no one thought possible. For his entire career, Webber has stood as the emblem for NBA sadness and has internalized this sadness to a point that would make a normal man implode. Gilbert Arenas speaks to us about his problems and his past. We have seen Kevin Garnett shed tears. Tracy McGrady expels his emotions through scoring outbursts. But for Webber, there is no outlet. Perhaps he always knew that this would be his destiny: a homecoming, and a rebirth.

Dwight Howard is getting all the credit for this, and sure ... Dwight Howard's freakish abilities speak for themselves. But how about that lob from Hedo Turkoglu? Magic Johnson couldn't have done it better. Picture perfect. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's the best contribution to basketball that Turkoglu has ever made.

And seeing someone throw a good pass was probably a nice change of pace for people in the state of Florida.

Dwight Howard is awesome [George: The Blog]

[Mary's] voice is wrecked from too much drinking and not enough sleeping. "I've missed four flights. I'm stuck in Florida. "I went back to Chris Kirkpatrick's house. I got myself in a sticky situation because I mentioned where Chris Kirkpatrick lives. Dwight Howard just showed up at the door [at 4 a.m.]. ...

"Dwight Howard came over with one of his friends. Mary stranded him. She didn't want Chris to be mad at her and didn't want Dwight to be mad at her. She was talking to both. Dwight came over and didn't know anybody but Mary. She left him in the front hallway. 'Amelia, keep him busy while I go see if Chris is mad.' Dwight seemed really shy. He was texting on his cell phone. He definitely wasn't mad. Everybody involved was just confused. She was telling people's secrets. She was telling me to run over and ask Chris this and that."

Howard, who will be 21 next month, ended up not meeting up with Carey, but he did leave her tickets to the Magic game. Sadly, they were only in the ninth row; better luck next time, Mary!

Mary Carey Parties With N'Sync's Chris Kirkpatrick & Orlando Magic's Dwight Howard [Luke Is Back] (third of the way down the page)

• 1. I'll Have The Royale With Cheese. Hidayet T rko lu, the first Turkish-born player in NBA history, has a Burger King menu named after him in Turkey, called Hido Menu.

• 2. Always With Him In Spirit. Trevor Ariza, who played one year at UCLA before enterting the NBA draft, suffered tragedy 10 years ago when his younger brother Tajh, 6, fell out of a hotel window 30 stories to his death.

• 3. What About The Popped Collar? In addition to unsuccesfully attempting to avoid DUI checkpoints, other lesser-known facts about J.J. Redick are: He got his nickname as a toddler because his twin sisters each repeated his original nickname of "J"; He as tattoos of Bible verses, including "Isaiah 40:31" and "Joshua 1:9" along with the Japanese word for courage; His younger brother, David, will will play football for Marshall University next season; majored in history and minored in cultural anthropology at Duke; got middle name of Clay because his father is a stoneware potter.

• 4. Well That's Very ... Wha ... Handball? It's Christmas at the Diener house, and once again everyone is getting basketballs. Travis Diener's high school basketball coach was his uncle Dick Diener, his sister Brittney plays basketball for Lewis University, his sister Rachel plays basketball for Saint Louis University, a cousin, Drake, played basketball for DePaul and currently plays professionally for Castelletto Ticino in Italy, another cousin, Drew, played basketball for Saint Louis and is currently the director of baskeball operations at the University of Virginia, and cousin Derek played basketball and handball at West Point.

• 5. Blessed Be The Playmakers. Dwight Howard is a devout Christian who drew attention when he talked about a dream he had in which the Christian cross was added to the NBA logo.

A couple of weeks ago, we told you about JJ Redick's appearance on the cover of NCAA College Hoops 2K7. Well, it turns out, it's much worse than you thought: They're actually doing the whole mo-cap suit thing to simulate his movements.

We've always assumed this whole having athlete-movements-simulated-for-video-game thing (David Ortiz, Dwyane Wade) was more a photo op than anything. And now we desperately hope so. Otherwise, NCAA College Hoops 2K7 is gonna be the most boring goddamned video game we've ever played. Though we will enjoy the special Propped Collar Turbo button.

By the way, that rim must be about seven-and-a-half feet tall.

JJ Redick Interview [IGN]
Next Up ... Gran Turismo [Deadspin]

HowEVA (© Stephen A. Smith)... right behind them, we have the Orlando Darkos, probably the best team of the group. They're mathematically alive, but barely. At the moment, they're three games out of a spot with three to play, despite their current 7-game winning streak that includes wins against maybe the best five teams in the NBA, the Spurs, Pistons, Mavericks, Suns, and Heat. The Darko trade has been great for them (no, seriously), and they've got a bright young line-up with Dwight Howard, Jameer Nelson, and of course, Darko. This is probably the last time in a while that they're not going to be in the playoffs.

Key games remaining:

Sixers @ Magic, Tonight.
Bucks @ Wizards, Tuesday.
Magic @ Pacers, Wednesday.
Bulls @ Magic, Monday.

"...I was very pleased with Darko. He has a really good feel for the game," said Magic coach Brian Hill. Darko had 8 points and 5 rebounds last night in 22 minutes of play. And the revolution is just beginning, Disciples of Darko.

NBA ROUNDUP: Ex-Pistons Magical vs. Sonics [Detroit Free Press]

I'll say this for Isiah: He has corrected the Knicks long-standing philosophy of stockpiling undersized power forwards. His new vision of stockpoling selfish point guards should be much more effective in crippling the Knicks for years and years to come.

Stephon Marbury and Steve Francis. There aren't many GMs in the league who would have one of them on their team. And Isiah's gotten both of them. That is mind-blowing. NBA.com is reporting that the Knicks are sending Penny Hardaway and Trevor Ariza to the Magic in exchange. In Penny's first stint with the Magic, he had Shaq. This time, he has Darko. I doubt he'll notice a difference.

So the Magic get a bunch of cap room and a young player with some upside in exchange for someone they just wanted to get the hell away from their team. I see no negatives here for the Magic. When you have a stud like Darko and an average complimentary player like Dwight Howard, you need decent young players and cap room to build around them.

And the Knicks get another player who wants to dominate the ball and has a history of not being such a great teammate. But the good news is that he has three full years left on his absurdly expensive contract. Isiah wasn't even able to get rid of Anucha Brown-Sanders in the deal.

A little tip for those of you who enjoy Death Pools: A Larry Brown suicide does not look at all unlikely at this point.

Magic Acquire Ariza, Hardaway for Francis [NBA.com]

The story of Darko in Detroit has been a bizarre, rather limp and pallid one that is extensively detailed here. And the story of Darko will never be complete without including ESPN's Chad Ford, whose career has been linked to Darko's ever since comparing him to Hakeem Olajuwon and Kevin Garnett back when Ford was pretty much the only guy who had ever seen him play. We have always wondered what Darko thought of Ford, this short red-headed American who always seemed to light up when he walked in the room. Why is he so excited? Think he has any smokes?

Darko traded. Sad day.

Darko Freed [Mickey Tettleton Memorial Overpass]
Darko Trade Close [ESPN]

(UPDATE: Here's something funny: A roundup of pre-draft quotes about Darko. So many great ones.)

(SECOND UPDATE: Not eager to be monkeys trotted out to dance, The Free Darko folks have nevertheless spoken.)

(THIRD UPDATE: And now you can't keep those Free Darko kids quiet! They've posted a killed magazine piece about Darko that, frankly, is pretty fantastic.)

In the 2005 draft, the Magic selected Fran Vazquez with the 11th pick. Vazquez then announced that he would remain in Spain to play for Akasvayu Girona (laugh track). A few months later, owner Rich DeVos said that he was handing over ownership of the team to his children, and making his son-in-law team president. Their only retired jersey? No. 6 — for the fans. Instead of a ball with stars, shouldn't the Magic incoporate Disney's Goofy into their logo? Just a thought. Since their inception as an expansion tean in 1989, there have been no NBA titles for the Magic, and one conference crown (1995). But the team did bring us Shaquille O'Neal as a rookie, and of course we never miss a Travis Diener chat. Orlando is struggling now, nine games below .500. But their blogging community hangs on doggedly. Let's take a look.

3. Orlando Magic. A great blog which mysteriously stopped posting a week ago. Somebody stop by and peer into the window to make sure everything's OK.
2. Magical Thoughts. They don't post as often as we'd like, but you can tell they are true fans.
1. Believing in Magic. Even with a gratuitous Rolling Stones joke and a shot at Hedo Turkoglu right at the top, we still bestow top status, because this blog is otherwise really solid.