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Ottawa Senators

NHL

Study: NHL Players with Bigger Heads Spend More Time in the Penalty Box


Honestly, this is a study. Thanks to the the fine people at Brock University in St. Catherine's, Ontario we know that NHL players with fat heads spend more time in the penalty box. How? Evidently head width runs the gamut from the skinny (1.6) to the unusually wide (2.3). By studying the profile pictures of NHL players, the study was able to predict which players had the most penalty minutes based on their head size. More »

nhl playoff preview

NHL Playoff Preview: The Twos Meets The Sevens

NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski previews the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals right up until they drop what is commonly referred to as "the puck." More »

nhl closer

All Canada, All The Time

We are proud to welcome famed hockey journalist James Mirtle to the post of NHL Closer writer this week.

Senators Lose Seven In A Row, Oppose Goalie Marriage. I'm afraid it's a very special Canadian Closerâ„¢ today friends, with four back bacon-filled teams battling the evil American empire in Montreal, Toronto, Calgary and Tampa last night. (Which one of these is not like the others, which one doesn't belong...) Ottawa came back in the third period but lost 4-3 in a shootout in Tampa, continuing the team's longest losing streak since the year the Lightning crammed 28,183 hockey fans (every Canadian vacationing in Florida) into Tropicana Field (then known as the Thunderdome) for a game. Mad Max approved.

More »

Hide your women and children, Sweden! A 26-foot Daniel Alfredsson robot is on its way! [Going Five Hole]

stanley cup

Ducks Fans, Your Decade-Plus Of Suffering Is Over

We congratulate the Anaheim Ducks on their first Stanley Cup title last night. We can't imagine the relief of Ducks fans across the nation, who were able to sleep easy last night, knowing they must no longer fear that they, like their grandfathers and other ancestors, will die without seeing their beloved, historic Ducks win that long-awaited title. More »

stanley cup finals

Not Much Hockey Left To Go

After last night's Stanley Cup Finals Game 4, an Anaheim victory over Ottawa to take a 3-1 series lead, it appears that the NHL will remain true to tradition: The Stanley Cup will be presented in Orange County. It seems as if there could have never been any other way. More »

nhl playoffs

There Has To Be A Way To Combine A Hockey Game And A Telethon

Hockey continues to feel the sting of disrespect from their network television home. This time, the slap in the face isn't national, but limited to just the Tampa market. For now, anyway. We'll have to wait and see what happens if tonight's game goes into overtime. More »

stanley cup

NHL Fans Are That Much More Special Today

If you didn't watch the Stanley Cup Finals Game 2 last night — and of course you did — you might have missed this odd shot of Snoop Dogg, who, for reasons unbeknown to anyone but him (and probably not him either), was wearing a fake mustache. More »

stanley cup finals

Stanley Cup Finals Pants Party: Ducks Vs. Senators

We're taking Memorial Day off, as you've surely noticed — though we're excited LeBron and the Jazz have given us something to pay attention to — but we are doing one post: A preview of the Stanley Cup Finals. They drop the puck tonight at 8 p.m. ET, with the Anaheim (Not Mighty) Ducks against the Ottawa Senators. More »

stanley cup playoffs

Fortunately, Nobody Wants To Watch A Playoff Overtime

As MJD pointed out yesterday, NBC, amazingly, cut away from the Senators-Sabres Game 5 overtime yesterday to show ... the first two hours of the Preakness prerace coverage. That's right: Rather than show the most exciting part of an entire hockey season, NBC chose to show Bob Costas interview people who, for once, are actually smaller than he is. More »

stanley cup playoffs

Pity The Poor Buffalo Fan

Heading into the NHL playoffs, the subplot we were most excited about involved the Buffalo Sabres, a team with a long-suffering but rabid — we mean literally rabid; it's in the Buffalo drinking water — fanbase and a No. 1 seed. After they beat the Rangers, it all appeared to be coming together. At last, the city of Buffalo had a real chance at a championship, or at least another opportunity to fall apart in the title game/series. More »

stanley cup playoffs

NHL Stanley Cup Pants Party: Sabres Vs. Senators

And here, you thought we were completely ignoring the NHL playoffs. To remind you: Canuck please! More »

nhl

... Or, As The NHL Calls It, 'Thursday'

For those who like their NHL violence varied and wanton, we present Thursday's Ottawa at Buffalo matchup, which makes the Spanish Inquisition look like a tickle fight. The Sabres' 6-5 OT win featured 100 total penalty minutes, with eight penalties for fighting, four for hooking, two for instigating and one for goalie leaving the crease (our favorite). There was also this glorious excerpt from the penalty summary: More »

about last night

About Last Night ...

What you missed while fishing people out of Boston Harbor ...
ALCS, Game 1: California/Anaheim/Los Angeles Angels remind us why White Sox haven't won the big one since 1917.
• NHL: Jeff O'Neal honors late brother with winning goal for Maple Leafs.
• NHL: Senators on a roll, grab fourth straight win. Look, it's two straight hockey items! Wheeee!