Deadspin
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mlb
Bartolo Colon "Found," Still Mourning Michael Jackson
There's no visual evidence of Bartolo Colon's whereabouts—NASA is working on it—but the White Sox say he will pitch tonight. His "disappearance" was really just an aversion to phones and an inability to cope with MJ's passing. More »
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Comment by ArkansasFred: Why can't people mourn MJ in healthy, constructive ways? For example, to cope with the grief I built a... 4 Responses | Other threads
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mlb
Ozzie Guillen Not Helping North-South Side Relations
It's time for another round of every Chicago baseball fan's favorite game, "Guess The Deleted Expletive In Ozzie Guillen's Anti-Cubs Rant." Or for bonus fun, just make up a word and get an even better quote. More »
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Comment by Ben Dover: The second article brings up another point: is there a sorrier sack of shit in baseball than Carlos Zambrano? 4 Responses | Other threads
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ozzie guillen
Ozzie Guillen Has A Sense Of Humor About His Part-Time Landscaping Work
The fiery White Sox manager apparently purchased an "OZZIE MOWS WRIGLEY FIELD" shirt: "Guillen bought a T-shirt and wore it in the clubhouse. "I might cut lawns but I don't stand in the rain selling T-shirts."[With Leather]
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By DAULERIOComment by AKA Fo2FFR: Guillen was shocked to find out that the shirt was talking about Ozzie Canseco, and was 100 percent accurate. 2 Responses | Other threads
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Wake up deadspin!
You Know It Is Spring When the Birds Have Returned
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap. More »
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By Gourmet SpudComment by ClintonPortishead: This may not be the proper time or place, but having woken up way earlier than I should have with... 4 Responses | Other threads
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ozzie guillen
Ozzie Guillen Bids Farewell To His Personal Lord Voldemort
Reaction to Jay Mariotti's resignation from the Chicago Sun-Times continues to pour in — there hasn't been this much freewheeling glee since the announcement of the end of World War II — and of course Ozzie Guillen is leading the hurrahs. While admitting that his own tenure in Chicago most assuredly comes with an expiration date, the White Sox manager still could not hide his satisfaction with the way things have played out with his nemesis, the man he notoriously called "a f—-—- fag" in 2006. More »
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Comment by crazyjoedavola: One can only hope that Marriotti starts a blog, with a comments field. That would be glorious, my Band of... 4 Responses | Other threads
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ozzie guillen
Pester Ozzie Guillen Enough On E-mail And He Will Respond Accordingly
White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen's verbal attacks on reporters, general managers, players, fans, and blow-up dolls are somewhat disturbing, if not highly entertaining for those of us who don't have to deal with them directly. But did you know you too can be eviscerated by Ozzie if you type with the appropriate amount of bile? More »
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By DAULERIOComment by JohnnyKilroy: First commenter to get Ozzie to give up Mariotti's email gets a serious +1 more » | Other threads
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By KOGODComment by Innings Eater: It's 80 degrees in Redondo Beach. At one in the morning. This is not normal. /Hammered //Really hammered more » | Other threads
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you've got to push
White Sox Locker Room Is Not A Safe Environment For Women, Real Or Inflatable
Ozzie Guillen and the White Sox are now in the midst of being criticized (again) by some sports writers and the Association For Women In Sports Media for their creative blow-up doll, slump-busting shrine. The Association said said the shrine creates an "uncomfortable" environment for female sports writers in the locker room. Via the National Post, comes this description of the shrine which featured two female blow-up dolls:
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profanity-laced tirades
Ozzie Guillen Does A Brilliant Ozzie Guillen Impersonation
Perhaps it's appropriate that Ozzie Guillen would unleash one of his patented expletive-filled tirades on Chicago fans, the Cubs, and media outlets just a few short days removed from the 25th anniversary of Lee Elia's epic f-bomb ranting. Maybe it was an homage. But more likely it was just Ozzie Guillien being his usual colorful self. More » -
baseball
Ozzie Guillen Is Back, And Man, He's The Best
You know baseball is almost upon us when Ozzie Guillen is saying crazy things again. More » -
polls
Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Ozzie Guillen Vs. Stephen A. Smith
Just two more first-round matchups left until the Elite Eight, and we've got a potential barnburner here today. (Does anyone other than Musberger use "barnburner" anymore? We like the term.) More »
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By LeitchComment by Thrillhouse: I am Stephen A. Smith, I love cheeze doodles. . . . Yea, doesn't really work. more » | Other threads
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baseball
"Show Me Where Mariotti Touched You, Alex"
We can't quite put our finger on why a picture of Ozzie Guillen talking to Alex Rodriguez while A-Rod violently adjusts his crotch region is funny .... but it nevertheless is. More »
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By LeitchComment by Come a little Miroslav Klose You're My Kind of Man: This would only be worse if the pictures were from Shep Messing's nude layout (of which I learned from watching... more » | Other threads
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baseball
Jay Mariotti Has Returned
Fret not, loyal Chicago-area readers: Your long national nightmare is now over. After a month-long "vacation" that followed Ozzie Guillen Fag-gate, Chicago Sun-Times "columnist" Jay Mariotti has signed a three-year deal with the paper, assuring his smiling face will grace the paper's pages four days a week for the next three years. More »
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By LeitchComment by hiphopnerd: GoZook - that's exactly why I subscribe to the Trib... AK- Most discussion of Rogers centers on how in the hell... more » | Other threads
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baseball
Also, They Make Their Tamales Way Too Hot
It takes a special kind of person to come into a verbal confrontation with White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen and come out looking like the more unreasonable one ... but if anyone can do it, it's Andy Van Slyke.
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By LeitchComment by Kelly Leak: What a piece of sheet, this Van Slyke. Fucking faggot. And all Dutch jerk off in wooden shoe. Look like mayonaisse. Eat... more » | Other threads
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baseball
The Closer: Can't Anyone Follow A Simple $%#&%! Order?
Notes from a day in baseball: More »
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Comment by Bleacher Bum: There are two constants this season: My Cubs losing in ever more embarrassing ways (and never holding their coaching staff... more » | Other threads
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baseball
Lick Your Lips And Prepare To Enjoy Ozzie Guillen
Ozzie Guillen: Gay community icon? He's on his way, as an alternative lifestyle supper club in Chicago has named a drink after the Jay Mariotti-bashing manager of the White Sox. And by the way; white socks with black shoes? How tacky, Chicago. From the Chicago Sun-Times: More »
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Comment by Delicious Pundit: 1. I like my Ozzietini with extra-large olives. 2. "I'll catch what he's catching." 3. This puts a whole... more » | Other threads
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espn
Last Post On Mariotti/Guillen, Honest
OK, we promise: Last Ozzie Guillen-Jay Mariotti related post of the week, unless one of them ends up being caught drunk on camera, forcing us all to become dirty voyeurs. More » -
jay mariotti
Jay The Joke: For All Your Jay Mariotti Mocking Needs
For skewering of our friend Jay Mariotti, quite frankly, we like to think we take a back seat to no one. Well, excepting perhaps Jay the Joke, a new blog dedicated to, as they put it "uniting Cubs fans and Sox fans through a common hatred of Jay Mariotti." And in so doing, does this blog not unite us all? Of course we chronicled the existence of Jay the Joke last week, which helped prompt this mention in the Chicago Tribune, which is always good: More »
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Comment by Unsilent Majority: dc doesn't have anybody that could prompt such vitriolic reactions. now if only we could reclaim the rights to rachel... more » | Other threads
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baseball
The Manly, Manly Sports Reporters
So we've been noticing something goofy going on with the coverage of the Ozzie Guillen-Jay Mariotti story; on the whole, the sturm und drang seems to be directed away from Guillen, who, after all, is Ozzie Guillen, a guy whose rantings whom we all kind of accept like the drunk uncle at Thanksgiving who's convinced the reason he can't hold down a job is because of immigration. Whaddya gonna do? He is who he is. More »
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By LeitchComment by Kelly Leak: Lots of good stuff here, guys. Kudos to Will for initiating this discussion. It really is a shame that assclowns like... more » | Other threads
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baseball
Jay Mariotti's Desires Slowly Revealing Themselves
Sometimes, it's instructive to look at why some stories go away within minutes of coming out — Peter Gammons' accidental plagarism — and some stories linger indefinitely, like that sticky film that just won't rinse away.
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By LeitchComment by Unsilent Majority: bill, that's an insult to the legacy of chris berman. jay mariotti wishes he were a prick on that high... more » | Other threads
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mlb
In Ozzie Guillen's Corner... John Rocker
In regards to the MLB-mandated sensitivity training, Ozzie Guillen can go one of two ways. He can go to the training, or he can go the John Rocker route. Here are John's thoughts on the situation: More »
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By mjdeadspinComment by NoUseForAName: I figured that Rocker would say that he never wanted to go to sensitivity training in NYC again because they... more » | Other threads
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ozzie guillen
Ozzie Guillen Has Had Just About Enough Of You
In the aftermath of calling Jay Mariotti a hag (or something like that), Ozzie Guillen was ordered by Bud Selig to undergo sensitivity training. Ozzie said he wasn't going to do it, the media grilled him about it last night, and then Ozzie slipped back into Ozzie mode. More »
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By mjdeadspinComment by Adam Duritz: It's pretty safe to say Ozzie is not juicing. I don't even think he had been eating much at... more » | Other threads
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baseball
A Helpful Tip For Ozzie Guillen, And It's Free
Last night, before yet another brutal pasting of the Cardinals — hey, look, the White Sox just put another 10-spot on the board, and it's only noon! — White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen apologized for his reference to Chicago Sun-Times and "Around The Horn" "reporter" Jay Mariotti as a "fag," but not to Mariotti, saying, "Nobody likes that man here. I don't care what he thinks about me. Jerry [Reinsdorf] talked to me and said I should [think] about the word I used. [But Mariotti] is a piece of garbage, he always has been garbage and always will be garbage." More »
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By LeitchComment by UIUC-Chief: I would like the following to the list: Dick-weed, dip shit, Tinker Bell, and needle dick, personally im inclined to dip... more » | Other threads
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gay athletes
Your Gay Sports News Roundup
Whether it's celebrity deaths or gay sports stories, it seems big news always comes in threes. (That is how the expression goes, yes?) All kinds of gay news this Wednesday afternoon. More » -
baseball
Ozzie's Rules
We know that in baseball, you're supposed to do what your manager tells you to do. Especially if you're a rookie. But what if your manager is about a half dozen different kinds of crazy and is named Ozzie Guillen? And what if the order is to go out and hit an opponent with a pitch? At what point do you go all Michael J. Fox in Casualties of War and say, "No, Sarge."? More » -
baseball
Freddy Garcia's Offseason Training
A Venezuelan newspaper is reporting that White Sox pitcher Freddy Garcia tested positive for marijuana during the World Baseball Classic. Major League Baseball, knowing that three-quarters of every pitching staff in the game would test positive, doesn't test for weed, but Garcia could receive a suspension from international play for as long as two years. But no problems with MLB ... or with the White Sox, for that matter.
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baseball
Why We Can't Take The White Sox Seriously
We've noticed that in certain circles, the White Sox, despite their World Championship, aren't considered among the elite of the game, the way the Red Sox, the Yankees, the Braves, the Cardinals are, so on. More »
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By LeitchComment by Captain Caveman: Whoa, whoa, whoa... I'm not a Cubs fan. I like my baseball mediocrity from the Pacific Northwest, thank you very... more » | Other threads
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bill simmons
Elsewhere...
• Reads the caption: "Michelle Kwan was named one of People Magazine's '50 Most Beautiful People' in 2000." And here's her nipple. Or, as I like to call it, Kwannipple. More »
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By mjdeadspinComment by VTHokie: Michelle Kwan or Jade Marcela? Jury's still out. more » | Other threads
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ozzie guillen
Just Ozzie Being Ozzie
Yes, the latest Ozzie Guillen quotes from the SI story were masterful. However, it seems like he was after A-Rod a little bit more in the story, but it seems like Nomar got the worse put down. Or did he? You decide. Please. More » -
baseball
Ozzie Guillen Takes Center Stage
What'd we tell you? White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen has taken a hold of the spotlight and strangled it until it looked like the Smurfs at the end of that UNICEF commercial. More » -
baseball
The White Sox Like To Suck Face
The Chicago Tribune has discovered the source of the White Sox's success this postseason: Manager Ozzie Guillen makes out with his players. No, really. After the ALCS victory over the Angels, Guillen kissed his sons in the dugout, then kissed Jose Contreras, then Freddy Garcia, then (gasp) owner Jerry Reinsdorf. More » -
baseball
America, Meet Ozzie Guillen
We know FOX is disappointed that neither the Red Sox nor the Yankees are in the championship series for only the second time in eight years, but that's no reason for anyone to fret. As we've mentioned before, we couldn't possibly be more excited that White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen is going to have primo prime-time real estate for the next week, at least. So you know some of Ozzie's history, he makes his email address public, he has a devoted fan site from back when people were writing Web code in BASIC and he loves to out "homosexuals" and "child molestors. The odds are good that he will offer to quit at least three times in the ALCS, and/or pick fights with Frank Thomas/Damaso Marte/Magglio Ordonez/Laura Bush. Oh, and Oddjack needs to put down some numbers about how many times he says fuck in that third-inning interview segment. It's gonna be awesome. More » -
baseball
White Sox Clinch Playoffs. It's Ozzie Time!
The Chicago White Sox just beat the Tigers 4-2 and are heading to the playoffs for the first time in five years. This means many things, but what's most important is that White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen is about to become a very big, very loud part of every baseball fan's life. So, you know, that'll be fun. More » -
baseball
Do Not Spam Ozzie Guillen
In case you missed it from Sports Illustrated earlier this year — or its reprinting in the Chicago Daily Southtown — Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen has a publicly available email account: OzzieGuillen13@ hotmail.com. Now that the White Sox are in danger of a historic collapse, he says he's receiving upwards of 500 a day. "I had a couple real nice ones," Guillen told the Southtown. "I only read the nasty ones. It was fun. I like to read the nasty ones." More » -
ozzie guillen
Ozzie Guillen, Sexual Profiler
According to resident no-fun-guy Rick Morrissey at the Chicago Tribune, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen might be a little too loosey-goosey with how he jokes around with his friends. More » -
mike lowell
Gotcha!
We have been giggling all morning at Marlins third baseman Mike Lowell's successful execution of the hidden-ball trick last night; it's our favorite play in sports. We're hardly alone either. The great archivists at Retrosheet has a collection of all the great hidden-ball tricks of the past. And leave it to the malcontents at Fire Joe Morgan to point out that White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen was nailed by the hidden ball trick three times. More »
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