Photo Credit: twoeightnine

PS: No, you don't have to have a PayPal account to buy a ticket using the link provided.

The Deadspin Midwest Pants Party will again take place at US Cellular Field, ostensibly for the purposes of watching baseball. However, this year's opponent is the Pittsburgh Pirates. Maybe we'll get to see Rinku and Dinesh pitch; they can't be much worse than John van Benschoten.

Tickets are $72.50 and include an all-you-can-eat buffet and perhaps more importantly, all the beer, wine, and soda you can cram down your gullet from 4:30 PM until a half hour into the game. After they drag us kicking and screaming away from the beer, we will move into the outfield seats for the remainder of the game. For those truly seasoned boozehounds out there, we will probably gather at a nearby bar TBD before the gates open for some pre-pre-gaming. Last year's chosen pregame bar was closed due to a gas leak. These things happen on the South Side.

What: Chicago White Sox vs. Pittsburgh Pirates
Where: US Cellular Field, Chicago, Illinois
When: May 23, 2009. Patio opens at 4:30PM, first pitch 6:05PM

Tickets can be purchased by following the PayPal link below. Friends, relatives, spouses, and significant others are welcome. Questions can be directed to me at pete@deadspin.com. Hope to see you there.

Here are the details, via the great organizer Pete Jayhawk:

What: Chicago White Sox vs. Minnesota Twins
Where: US Cellular Field, Chicago, Illinois
When: June 7, 2008. Patio opens at 5:30PM, gametime 7:11PM
Why: One or more of the following:
You love sports.
You read Deadspin.
You follow either the White Sox or the Twins.
You drink alcohol.

We went last year and had more fun that should really be allowed. Grab the tickets for a night you probably won't to remember.

Deadspin Chicago Pants Party [MySpace]

Oooh, boy! Uncle Will went to a wedding this weekend to try to read John Donne poetry ("How do you pronounce his name," he asked, while doing a run-through last night.), and he's left Deadspin in most capable hands. Of course, those audacious hands of hope are a little busy today, so Cultural Oddsmaker is being sloughed off to the plebes. Full disclosure: I can't stand football; I can name only five players on the team I purportedly follow ("Let's go ... Mets?"); and the one competition I can speak about with some confidence is horseracing. But the most important disclaimer of all: I have been invited, but never attended, a Deadspin Pants Party.

The Newark Pants Party was announced yesterday. Seton Hall, a school I wasn't even aware was in New Jersey till it caught fire some years ago, is playing Louisville, a city I didn't realize had its own school (Go, not the University of Kentucky!). Now, when I go to horse races, I bring a flask, a six pack, and some fine sandwiches. I make notes in the Form, furl it as the horses enter the gate, and beat it on the track fence to accompany my screams, which are directed at an animal: "Come on (Number)! Come on, baby!" These moments are the most raucous of my year. In my head, Deadspin Pants Parties are similar. So this week I'm donning my "You're With Me, Leather" t-shirt; leaking a memo from my employer, ESPN; and placing odds on what will happen at the Deadspin Pants Party at Seton Hall.

Will Leitch will gladly accept your beers: 2/1
Here's a little secret: Will Leitch expenses the shit out of everything. (We all have the same accountant.) That trip he makes to take in a game with Deadspin readers? Write-off! You all spend your paychecks to get to the game, buy a hotdog and some beers. Deadspin provides everyone so much workday entertainment, why wouldn't you get that stubbly-fingered slave a brew? After all, he drinks Miller Light. Unless you're at Yankee Stadium, it can't cost that much. Your pal Will will gladly take it off your hands. In fact, you're so generous he can't keep up. Good thing he always wears that black T-shirt — the spills don't leave a mark.

Some so-called New Yorker will get lost on the way: 1/3
"Mere steps from the Newark PATH Station!" claims organizer Rob Iracane, who I always confuse for a football player in my brother's high-school class named Rob Iacone. Oh please, Rob (Iracane). You're asking New Yorkers to swap transit systems in order to go to New Jersey for a recreational event. The people with cars will show up; the people coming from the city will claim some sort of train shenanigans. This is why Will never visits AJ in Philadelphia.

That Deadspin Guy will make everyone uncomfortable: Even
Is that Barbaro I see at half-court? Oh wait, I think the popcorn vendor is Carl Monday, here to go undercover in my Pants Party! I had to get tested for the HIV last week, but I used a fake name: Don Uruguay! I'm going to pour tequila down this tan girl's throat like Ben Roethlisberger! Woo!

You won't remember to respond to your Commenter Name: 5/2
After a few beers with congenial strangers, it's tough to recall your actual name. Forget about that witty Deadspin moniker (Or not so witty; in my case, my once-used commenting name refers to my ancestral village in Ireland.) — you barely know your own name. On the upside, this is the perfect time to have an affair.

That Commenter you like is a total jackass in real life: 14/1
The Internet is so deceptive, isn't it? You read these people's thoughts every day. You know their opinions better than your dad's. You're all amped to go to the Pants Party and meet this one commenter. And then you do and, after some perfunctory chatter, "Seton Hall, huh? So who'd you vote for for SHOTY?" you realize you'd rather be home raking leaves. Fortunately the guy in the row ahead of you is sitting next to Will and having the same experience. You lock eyes, and then go smoke a joint in the parking lot.

Yes, the Las Vegas Pants Party is scheduled for October 18-22, and if people are able to avoid being mugged by O.J., it should be a grand time. We're not going to be able to make it — we will be here — but if the official blog for the event is to be trusted, we're gonna miss one heckuva time. If you're interested in attending, that's the place to go. A bunch of Deadspin readers in Vegas; what could possibly go wrong?

2007 West Coast Pants Party [WordPress]

If you're interested in attending Friday night's Pants Party At Safeco, there are still tickets available. We're very much looking forward to it, and not just because we're going to be hanging around anyplace Kurt Cobain ever so much as ate a sandwich. Hope to see some of you there.

Seattle Pants Party [Deadspin Pants Party]

First, a note: Kevin Bartner, the kind soul who organized the Atlanta party, deserves a medal (and some money). He bought the 25 tickets to the game, for everyone who said they were coming, and then a few people didn't show, and the tickets added up. If you were someone who told him you were coming, and then didn't make it, it might be nice to send him a note and, maybe, a check. That's the first time that's happened, and it's never fun.

That shouldn't happen at any of the next three shindigs.

• Miami. August 31. It's Labor Day Weekend, it's Marlins-Phillies, it's South Florida. Plus, inexplicably, Dan LeBatard is somehow playing a part. We don't understand it either. We feel bad about missing this one, but you shouldn't.

• Baltimore. September 8. It's Orioles-Red Sox, so you know what the dominant fanbase will be. Those from Baltimore can just show, and for those from DC, transportation will be provided. We can't make this one either, but man, that sounds like a grand time.

• Seattle. September 15. It's Mariners-Devil Rays (woo!), with an Ohio State-Washington college football game the next day. We're gonna be at this one, with all the Nirvana shirts we can find.

As always, your one-stop source for all Pants Parties information is over at Pants Parties Announcements, but here's a rundown for those coming up.

• Washington, D.C., August 4. It's Cardinals at Nationals. Sadly, we won't be at this one ourselves, but all kinds of outstanding people will.
• Atlanta. August 17. Diamondbacks at Braves. We've never been to Turner Field, but we'll be there this time. Who has Jarrod Saltalamacchia fever? Email here for details.
• Miami. August 31. This one's sponsored by the radio station Dan LeBatard works for, so beware. We don't think we're going to be able to make this one, but, jeez, folks, it's Miami.
• Seattle. September 16. A full weekend: Mariners on Friday, Washington-Ohio State on Saturday and watching the Buzzsaw beat the Seahawks from the Pink Taco. We'll be there, though probably just hanging out at Kurt Cobain's house the whole time.
• Las Vegas. October 18. Deadspin readers in Las Vegas. What could possibly go wrong?

There's also talk of a San Diego Pants Party, which would probably bring this full circle. If you want more info about any of those, or want to start your own, that site's your one-stop source. Heck, maybe someday we'll have one in Mattoon.

We're told tickets are still available, though, annoyingly, we bought ours a week and a half ago and still haven't received them. (We hope no one else had this problem.) There's going to be tailgating and all kinds of trouble. And there's a very real chance we'll all see the Phillies' 10,000 loss. (Plus, thrilling video of Daulerio!)

Next week, details on the upcoming Atlanta Pants Party, but for now, we're just gonna enjoy Phillies fans tossing beer bottles at the guy in the Ankiel jersey.

Pants Party Details [The 700 Level]
Come Join Us At The Philly Pants Party [Deadspin]