Sorry for making your naughty bits shrivel up with repulsion just now. But let me draw your attention to a dating column on College Humor. One hapless reader writes in with his tale of woe:

A while back me and my GF were having sex. I put on my iPod for some mood music, but instead of putting on a playlist I just hit shuffle. Twenty minutes into our love making session, the music ended and a podcast I had downloaded of PTI (Pardon the Interruption) from ESPN came on. Neither of us wanted to stop to change it, so we finished to the soothing voices of Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon. I no longer listen to PTI.
-Anonymous

Good god, man. That can't be healthy for you, as you'll never be able to do the deed again without thinking of Tony and Michael debating Tim Tebow's NFL potential. And I hoped you used protection; any kid conceived under those circumstances has no choice in life but to become Stat Boy.

Dating, It's Complicated [College Humor]

As far as I can determine, the videos below were made by Verona, Pennsylvania native Gavin Jenkins, who teaches English at a middle school in Shenzhen, China, where he's been living for about a year. Much of his teaching plan revolves around sports, which is always fun. It's all undoubtedly part of a bigger plan: When our financial overlords eventually come here and put us to work in their sugar mines, they'll have to know how to speak our language. What better source for that than Wilbon and Kornheiser on Pardon the Interruption?

Also entertaining: Chinese PTI with girls. But for more advanced students, there's the class on NHL trash talking.

It's the sign of a highly advanced educational system when your midterm final includes the sentence: "Flyers fans have the IQ of sweet potatoes."

Chinese Students Learn English Imitating PTI [NESW Sports]
Chinese PTI (Part I) [Douchebagabroad]

Yesterday's post featuring Michael Wilbon enjoying the alluring top shelf of Girl Next Door Kendra and L.A. Times' J.A. Adande workin' it with some women(?) who earn a livin' doing dirty things on camera, gave PTI co-host Tony Kornheiser much to work with during yesterday's show.

It's nice to know that some people aren't above being self-deprecating and do not feel it necessary to be humorless angry rhinos all the time. Cheers to you, PTI crew, and especially to Awful Announcing for being the best at what he does.

Now, J.A. Adande, we still have some questions for you...

The PTI Guys Have A Little Fun With Wilbon's Night Out [Awful Announcing]
J.A. Adande: Journalism's Master of Landing Tail? [Busted Coverage]

On ESPN's special "PodCast" page on their site yesterday, you could actually find out. When you downloaded last night's episode of "PTI," hosted by Michael Wilbon and Bob Ryan, you expected to hear Wilbon verbally hugging athletes and Ryan sounded cranky. Instead, you heard the spawn of the devil.

Here's what appears to have happened: They've recorded two shows. Maybe the first show didn't go well, maybe they just wanted to try again, whatever happened, they recorded them both on the PodCast and played them over each other. And it's all enough to make your head go even crazier than it ordinarily does when you hear Bob Ryan talk. If you listen close, you can actually hear "Paul (Fahri) is dead ... Paul (Fahri) is dead ..."

Pardon The Interruption PodCast [ESPN]

Whenever Mike Wilbon or Tony Kornheiser utters the statement "Your Boy," take a swig of beer.
When a dirty old man homily or anecdote is uttered by TK, take a swig. When Wilbon says a dirty old man homily or anecdote, take a shot.
If there is a guest host subbing in, take a shot.
Every time either man says "Sawx" in that weird ass way swig.

There's a bunch more, even an "Around the Horn" drinking game. Our favorite observation, however, is that Bill Simmons looks vaguely like Mark Linn-Baker from "Perfect Strangers." Other than the hair, he kind of does.

ESPN Drinking Games [Deadly Hippos]