Down With Big Birthday

I have two kids with birthdays coming up and as much as I would like to sidestep the Birthday-Industrial Complex, it's no easy task. There are two levels of peer pressure in the birthday universe: the peer pressure exerted on your children (not that I really care about that) and the social pressure exerted on you, the… » 1/30/14 12:04pm 1/30/14 12:04pm

Be Honest: Is Your Kid an Asshole?

It's the best of times; it's the worst of times, ergo: Kids are awesome; kids are dicks. Just like adults! A kid will hand you half of their brownie to share like some angelic little benevolent sugar fairy, and then snatch it right back from you and lick it. Parents are intimately familiar with this Jekyll and Hyde… » 6/28/13 2:11pm 6/28/13 2:11pm

Has Mitch Moreland Doomed His Newborn Son By Naming Him Crue?

Drew just went over this not even a couple of weeks ago, the seemingly growing epidemic of worsening baby names across the country. And now, much to our (read: his) chagrin, the newborn son of Mitch Moreland has become the latest poster child for this wave of unholy child-naming. » 7/25/12 8:48pm 7/25/12 8:48pm

American Baby Names Are Somehow Getting Even Worse

My wife has a subscription to Parents magazine, and the fun thing about Parents magazine is that every issue is virtually identical. Whether you pick up the June 2008 issue or the March 2012 issue, you're still getting all the same shit, including items like "567 fun knitting crafts to help stave off boredom!" and "Make a … » 7/13/12 2:04pm 7/13/12 2:04pm

Dear Abby: Cleveland Sports Have Created An 8-Year-Old Psychopath

Yesterday's "Dear Abby" column featured "Good dad in Cleveland," who's seeking advice on what to do with his eight-year-old son, understandably driven to animal abuse by the frustrations of being a Cleveland sports fan. Little Junior loves sports, you see, but "he has trouble accepting a loss. He'll take out his… » 4/30/12 9:45am 4/30/12 9:45am