Sage Steele Should Be In Jail

I'm gonna preface this by saying that I love Sage Steele. She's black and cool and smart and elegant. These are all good things, things everyone should strive to be. But. » 4/01/15 12:55pm 12 minutes ago

How To Make Friends With Other Parents Without Embarrassing Yourself

Hi, new parent. Welcome. So you have a kid now, and you may think sleepless nights and wide-arcing pee hitting you in the eye from an unencumbered baby penis are the worst things you'll face. But you are wrong. There is something else coming that could scare you into living in total obscurity in a yurt on a… » 3/31/15 11:18am Yesterday 11:18am

How To Talk To Your Kids About Sexual Assault And Sports 

When I thought my son was old enough to understand the concept of "no means no," I said those exact words to him when he appeared unwilling to back away from a confrontation-in-the-making. This kind of situation arose frequently—the playground, a playdate, just being around his younger sister. "Jonny said he doesn't… » 3/13/15 11:42am 3/13/15 11:42am

A Squeamish New Dad's Guide To Diapers

In Act of Valor, the 2012 movie where real active-duty Navy SEALs play fictional active-duty Navy SEALs, there's a moment where two elite, hardened warriors are discussing fatherhood, and one of them mentions the scariest thing about it: diapers. If fucking SEALs can't handle diapers, is there any hope for the rest… » 3/02/15 11:28am 3/02/15 11:28am

How to Talk About Race with Your Kids

It'd be wonderful if you could just say to children, "People might look different and come from different places, but we're all equal and should be treated the same" and leave it at that. But if recent news has taught us anything, it's that reality is not so simple, and we need to face the topics of race and racism… » 1/25/15 2:07pm 1/25/15 2:07pm

Why Pitchers Will Always Suck At Hitting

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering casual fans, racist neighbors, old porn, and more. » 8/12/14 3:18pm 8/12/14 3:18pm

"Next Week ... Is My Seventh Funeral For Someone Younger Than Me"

Drew Magary's piece this week on over-competitive kids (and parents) mentioned Fairfax, Va.'s prestigious W.T. Woodson High School, where six students have committed suicide in the past three years. Below is a lengthy, remarkable letter we've received from Ryan Mull, a recent Woodson graduate. » 7/17/14 1:10pm 7/17/14 1:10pm

Down With America's Kid-Competition Complex

I was at a parent's night at my kid's school a couple of years ago—one of those things where you go to the school at night to meet the kid's teacher and eat a cookie and listen as the teacher tells you all the shit they do in class every day, and then you nod your head in approval. "Ah, yes. MUSIC TIME. That will… » 7/15/14 11:10am 7/15/14 11:10am

​Do Not Pimp Your Child Out on Social Media

How much social-media exposure should your small children get? One answer, for parents who appropriately respect but are perhaps also in denial about the invasive power of the internet, is "none." Don't Facebook your kid, don't Vine your kid, don't Tweet about your kid. That's probably the correct answer, the way… » 7/09/14 12:59pm 7/09/14 12:59pm

Why Redshirting Your Kindergartener Is Dumb

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering headphone farts, dog brains, professional button mashing, and more. » 7/08/14 2:50pm 7/08/14 2:50pm

How To Explain Michael Sam And His Boyfriend To Your 7-Year-Old Child

This is a difficult thing, because small children won't believe you when you tell them that Michael Sam is the first openly gay player ever to be drafted into the National Football League, and will respond with genuine bewilderment when you explain why this is—why there have been no other NFL players who have been… » 5/12/14 3:32pm 5/12/14 3:32pm

Why Rich Lacrosse Parents Are Making Their Kids Repeat A Grade

In the lax-crazy scholastic sports scene of the high-end Washington D.C. market, a game between Landon School and Georgetown Prep is essentially 'Skins vs. Cowboys, except with more people named Topper. They're two of the fancy-pantsiest all-boys secondary schools in the area, and their athletic rivalry offers a good… » 5/01/14 3:20pm 5/01/14 3:20pm

Down With Big Birthday

I have two kids with birthdays coming up and as much as I would like to sidestep the Birthday-Industrial Complex, it's no easy task. There are two levels of peer pressure in the birthday universe: the peer pressure exerted on your children (not that I really care about that) and the social pressure exerted on you,… » 1/30/14 12:04pm 1/30/14 12:04pm

Be Honest: Is Your Kid an Asshole?

It's the best of times; it's the worst of times, ergo: Kids are awesome; kids are dicks. Just like adults! A kid will hand you half of their brownie to share like some angelic little benevolent sugar fairy, and then snatch it right back from you and lick it. Parents are intimately familiar with this Jekyll and Hyde… » 6/28/13 2:11pm 6/28/13 2:11pm

If Your Baby Needs A Baby Helmet, Buy Your Baby A Baby Helmet

I'm looking at the Amazon product reviews for the Thudguard Baby Safety Helmet, and as I do with most products, I'm focusing on the one-star reviews. What's the worst case? What are the satisfied customers overlooking? » 7/26/12 11:10am 7/26/12 11:10am

Has Mitch Moreland Doomed His Newborn Son By Naming Him Crue?

Drew just went over this not even a couple of weeks ago, the seemingly growing epidemic of worsening baby names across the country. And now, much to our (read: his) chagrin, the newborn son of Mitch Moreland has become the latest poster child for this wave of unholy child-naming. » 7/25/12 8:48pm 7/25/12 8:48pm

American Baby Names Are Somehow Getting Even Worse

My wife has a subscription to Parents magazine, and the fun thing about Parents magazine is that every issue is virtually identical. Whether you pick up the June 2008 issue or the March 2012 issue, you're still getting all the same shit, including items like "567 fun knitting crafts to help stave off boredom!" and… » 7/13/12 2:04pm 7/13/12 2:04pm

Dear Abby: Cleveland Sports Have Created An 8-Year-Old Psychopath

Yesterday's "Dear Abby" column featured "Good dad in Cleveland," who's seeking advice on what to do with his eight-year-old son, understandably driven to animal abuse by the frustrations of being a Cleveland sports fan. Little Junior loves sports, you see, but "he has trouble accepting a loss. He'll take out his… » 4/30/12 9:45am 4/30/12 9:45am