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Man, Soccer Dudes (Zlatan Excluded) Really Suck At Basketball

I’d understand the sheer ineptitude on display here and the failure to even appear to know what that silly American sport is supposed to look like if we were talking football, but PSG’s players can’t even mimic basketball right? These dudes are out here celebrating lay ups as if they were windmill dunks, and look more… » 7/28/15 1:07pm 7/28/15 1:07pm

Oh My God, This Iniesta Run And Assist To Neymar Is A Thing Of Beauty

Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Andrés Iniesta just ran practically the length of the pitch, slaloming past defender after defender before sliding in Neymar for the opener in today’s Barcelona-PSG Champions League return leg. Iniesta has been pretty good this year, but who knew he could still do THAT? » 4/21/15 3:12pm 4/21/15 3:12pm

PSG Overcome Controversial Red Card, Boot Chelsea From Champions League

Schalke's nearly-heroic comeback yesterday put everyone on upset alert, and on cue, Paris Saint-Germain went and made good on its own upset bid with today's 2-2 draw against Chelsea, knocking the English club out of the Champions league. Despite a questionable red card on Zlatan Ibrahimović early on, PSG fought back… » 3/11/15 7:23pm 3/11/15 7:23pm

Three Defenders Combine For Game's Nicest Move To Put Chelsea Up On PSG

After a cagey start to today's Champions League headliner—Paris Saint-Germain vs. Chelsea—the Londoners dusted off some of the silky skills they've shown all season. One Blues player collected the ball out wide, sent a peach of a cross into the box, where a teammate deftly flipped it over the defense with the outside… » 2/17/15 3:49pm 2/17/15 3:49pm

Zlatan Does Not Like Question, So Zlatan Melts Journalist With His Eyes

As we've seen, for even the smallest of perceived slights, Zlatan Ibrahimović has the power to liquefy his enemies with a mere look or gesture. This journalist is his latest victim, and he managed only one even-spoken question before Zlatan's response turned him into a stammering schoolboy. » 2/02/15 5:58pm 2/02/15 5:58pm

This Paris Saint-Germain Goal Will Make You Want To Have Sex With It

Paris Saint-Germain are playing Stade Rennais right now. They're up 1-0 because they scored a goal that is pornographic in nature and should be only watched at home, in bed, with lotion close at hand, and Poliça playing softly through your computer's speakers. Here is that goal: » 1/30/15 3:37pm 1/30/15 3:37pm

Neymar Belter From Distance Puts Barcelona Up 2-1 On PSG

Barcelona decided to break out a completely new formation for today's crucial Champions League match against Paris Saint-Germain. It was a sensible but risky choice, since the club has the parts to play three at the back but hadn't yet proved it could come together. Well, when Neymar struts through the heart of the… » 12/10/14 3:43pm 12/10/14 3:43pm

Paris Saint-Germain Are Bullshit

We can't keep letting PSG do this. Yesterday, the French giants took on Cyprian giants/world ants APOEL in Champions League play. This was a match even schizophrenic PSG couldn't muck up, right? No. Instead of a dominating performance on a day full of them, we saw another typically lackadaisical display from the… » 10/22/14 12:47pm 10/22/14 12:47pm

PSG Is Threatening To Buy Lionel Messi. Wait. That Can't Happen, Right?

Soccer's the best. One of the reasons it's the best is that there are lots of leagues all over the world with lots of teams within them, and they all come together twice a year during the transfer windows to form one huge clusterfuck. Some of the richest clubs are owned by actual princes and/or oil tycoons, and there… » 7/19/13 4:19pm 7/19/13 4:19pm

What Edinson Cavani's Move To PSG Means For European Soccer

Earlier this week, French champions Paris Saint-Germain bought Uruguayan forward Edinson Cavani from Italian side Napoli for a reported €64 million ($84 million). It's the fifth-highest transfer fee ever. What's also worth noting is that Cavani went for more than both Radamel Falcao's transfer to AS Monaco and Neymar… » 7/19/13 12:30pm 7/19/13 12:30pm

A Mad Genius Zlatan Ibrahimovic Fan Bought His Favorite Player's Domain Name, Will Give It Back If He Completes One Of Twelve Challenges

Paris Saint-Germain acquired the services of Zlatan Ibrahimovic from AC Milan over the summer, and since his old team confirmed that he'd be heading to the Paris club, "Ibrahimovic," reports UK's Metro, has been "rumoured to be looking to strengthen his marketing ties in France." That could conceivably mean buying a… » 1/05/13 5:45pm 1/05/13 5:45pm