PSG Players David Luiz And Edinson Cavani Are Worried About Going Back To Paris After Terrorist Attacks [Updated]

For many players on the French capitol’s flagship soccer team, Paris Saint-Germain, last week’s terrorist attacks were viewed from afar, as they were off on international duty elsewhere. Now that it’s nearing time to return, at least two players have publicly expressed their wariness. »11/16/15 11:31am11/16/15 11:31am

Chinese Commentator Fired For Snoring In Middle Of Champions League Game

The deep and hearty snores you hear are from Chinese commentator Dong Lu during this week’s Real Madrid-PSG Champions League match, and he’s not taking a sly jab at the quality of play. Apparently, Dong really did fall asleep during the game, and his network fired him for it.
»11/06/15 11:29am11/06/15 11:29am

French Media Calls In Body Language Expert To Divine Ronaldo's Secret Intentions

Every couple years, the European media works itself into a bubbly froth about Cristiano Ronaldo’s future. We’re now in the thick of yet another foamy period, and perhaps because his departure might actually be imminent this time, the papers are going to absurd lengths to search for clues.
»11/05/15 2:22pm11/05/15 2:22pm

Fallen Striker Edinson Cavani Spasms His Way Out Of A Goal

Edinson Cavani was once one of Europe’s most fearsome strikers, coveted the world over thanks to his domination of Serie A for Napoli. He had it all: a long, lanky frame to nod in goals with his forehead, a loping stride that sped him around the pitch and onto through balls much quicker than you’d expect from a man of… »11/03/15 4:35pm11/03/15 4:35pm

Zlatan Books Entire Town Square So Fans Can Watch Him Beat Down On His Old Team

Soccer has taken Zlatan Ibrahimović (or is it the other way around?) all around the world. From Paris to Barcelona to Turin to Milan and beyond, Zlatan came, saw, and conquered many of Europe’s greatest cities. Now he’s back where it all started, and he’s making sure the whole city gets a view of The Return. »9/18/15 2:47pm9/18/15 2:47pm

Man, Soccer Dudes (Zlatan Excluded) Really Suck At Basketball

I’d understand the sheer ineptitude on display here and the failure to even appear to know what that silly American sport is supposed to look like if we were talking football, but PSG’s players can’t even mimic basketball right? These dudes are out here celebrating lay ups as if they were windmill dunks, and look more… »7/28/15 1:07pm7/28/15 1:07pm

Oh My God, This Iniesta Run And Assist To Neymar Is A Thing Of Beauty

Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Andrés Iniesta just ran practically the length of the pitch, slaloming past defender after defender before sliding in Neymar for the opener in today’s Barcelona-PSG Champions League return leg. Iniesta has been pretty good this year, but who knew he could still do THAT? »4/21/15 3:12pm4/21/15 3:12pm

PSG Overcome Controversial Red Card, Boot Chelsea From Champions League

Schalke's nearly-heroic comeback yesterday put everyone on upset alert, and on cue, Paris Saint-Germain went and made good on its own upset bid with today's 2-2 draw against Chelsea, knocking the English club out of the Champions league. Despite a questionable red card on Zlatan Ibrahimović early on, PSG fought back… »3/11/15 7:23pm3/11/15 7:23pm

Three Defenders Combine For Game's Nicest Move To Put Chelsea Up On PSG

After a cagey start to today's Champions League headliner—Paris Saint-Germain vs. Chelsea—the Londoners dusted off some of the silky skills they've shown all season. One Blues player collected the ball out wide, sent a peach of a cross into the box, where a teammate deftly flipped it over the defense with the outside… »2/17/15 3:49pm2/17/15 3:49pm

Zlatan Does Not Like Question, So Zlatan Melts Journalist With His Eyes

As we've seen, for even the smallest of perceived slights, Zlatan Ibrahimović has the power to liquefy his enemies with a mere look or gesture. This journalist is his latest victim, and he managed only one even-spoken question before Zlatan's response turned him into a stammering schoolboy. »2/02/15 5:58pm2/02/15 5:58pm

Neymar Belter From Distance Puts Barcelona Up 2-1 On PSG

Barcelona decided to break out a completely new formation for today's crucial Champions League match against Paris Saint-Germain. It was a sensible but risky choice, since the club has the parts to play three at the back but hadn't yet proved it could come together. Well, when Neymar struts through the heart of the… »12/10/14 3:43pm12/10/14 3:43pm

PSG Is Threatening To Buy Lionel Messi. Wait. That Can't Happen, Right?

Soccer's the best. One of the reasons it's the best is that there are lots of leagues all over the world with lots of teams within them, and they all come together twice a year during the transfer windows to form one huge clusterfuck. Some of the richest clubs are owned by actual princes and/or oil tycoons, and there… »7/19/13 4:19pm7/19/13 4:19pm

What Edinson Cavani's Move To PSG Means For European Soccer

Earlier this week, French champions Paris Saint-Germain bought Uruguayan forward Edinson Cavani from Italian side Napoli for a reported €64 million ($84 million). It's the fifth-highest transfer fee ever. What's also worth noting is that Cavani went for more than both Radamel Falcao's transfer to AS Monaco and Neymar… »7/19/13 12:30pm7/19/13 12:30pm