Pat Burrell's Still Got It

Baseball has been a much more boring sport ever since Pat "The Machine" Burrell decided to hang up the spikes. But Burrell hasn't left us completely behind. Now a scout with the Giants, Burrell showed up at yesterday's game to take a few hacks in BP. Wearing slacks and a pair of Vans, the ol' slugger launched one right… » 4/03/14 9:53am 4/03/14 9:53am

Pat Burrell Not Only Danced Shirtless At A Philly Bar, He Left No Tip…

Yesterday morning, we put out the call for photographic proof of Pat Burrell dancing shirtless while wearing a blazer the night before at the Pen & Pencil, a Philly press club that legally stays open after-hours, when most of its patrons are bar and restaurant employees just off work. The rumor was first reported by the … » 5/20/12 5:35pm 5/20/12 5:35pm

Pat Burrell Is Retiring, But "The Machine" Just Might Live On

MLB Trade Rumors had it first, and noted rich guy Jon Heyman confirmed on Twitter: Pat Burrell is retiring. The thumping, lumbering outfielder posted a .253/.361/.472 line in 12 MLB seasons, most of them with the Phillies. He had ranked 25th among active players in home runs. He won two World Series. Not bad at all. A… » 1/30/12 2:05pm 1/30/12 2:05pm

Giants Rookie Conor Gillaspie Had A Very Rookie Inside-The-Park Homer…

There are two things that make this—Conor Gillaspie's first major league home run—a very rookie home run: 1. The stumble and trip as he is waved home ( "Honestly, I was pretty embarrassed," he said after the game. "I didn't want to get up"); and 2. The fact that once he had made it home and set all of AT&T Park into a… » 9/28/11 9:30am 9/28/11 9:30am

Pat Burrell Is The Machine. Fact.

In a post titled "Pat Burrell Says Hello!," BarStool Sports has seemingly put to rest any questions about the identity of Brian Wilson's special gimp-gear-laden pal, affectionately called The Machine. » 2/10/11 8:30pm 2/10/11 8:30pm

The Crack Of The Bat, The Middle Finger Of Pat Burrell

With the start of the 2007/2008 MLB season just hours away now, everyone's thoughts turn to how beautiful the game can be ... the crack of the bat, the roar of the crowd, the green grass, the fathers and sons in the stands with their mitts, and the asshole in the Phillies dugout gesturing to opposing manager Terry… » 4/01/07 5:30pm 4/01/07 5:30pm