Deadspin
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nba closer
Pat Riley Feels Like A Mosquito In A Nudist Colony. Seriously
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who loves zombie movies and is really ticked off that Diary of the Dead came out in a limited release. Oh well. Hopefully World War Z will come out some time in the next year. Anyway, when he isn't obsessing over flesh-eating ghouls, he can be found feasting on basketball's heart and soul at Basketbawful. Enjoy!
• Well, that took only 54 games. The Miami Heat finally broke the 10-win barrier - not to mention an 11-game losing streak - with a 107-86 victory over the Sacramento Kings, and the long-awaited win has Pat Riley feeling...a little wacky. "I feel like a mosquito in a nudist colony," Riley said. "I know what to do. I just don't know where to start." Ooookay. Let's just hope that whatever happened in the Heat locker room after the game stays in the Heat locker room. [/shudders] Shawn Marion throttled the Kings about the head and neck with 24 points on 10-for-14 shooting and Dwyane Wade had 15 points, 9 assists, and a rush of sweet, sweet relief. Meanwhile, Sacramento coach Reggie Theus was left to contemplate how his squad - who scored 11 points on 2-for-20 shooting in the third quarter - got their butts handed to them by the league's worst team. "That probably is about the worst we've played all year," Theus said. He's not wrong. More » -
nba playoffs
Alonzo Mourning Came Back For This?
The Miami Heat's comeback attempt down the stretch imploded because of a flurry of Dwyane Wade turnovers, and — of all things — Ben Wallace shooting free throws like Larry freaking Bird. More » -
nba
Mission Accomplished
So if we're understanding Shaq correctly, the past few NBA MVP awards have been tainted, but being lauded by the current Commander-In-Chief is juuuust fine. No taint there. More » -
nba
Hey, The Heat Are
Dan LeBatard, handsome as ever, brings up what everyone's thinking: Pat Riley's kind of a dick when it comes to abandoning his team when times are tough. Sure, he had some physical issues, but it seems obvious by now that it's not a coincidence that when the Heat are struggling, Riley's "recovering," and when they get back on track with everyone healthy, hey, here comes Riley! More »OverAt .500. Wake Riley. -
los angeles clippers
NBA Roundup: Heavy Is The Head That Wears The Crown
Notes on Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ... More » -
nba finals
You Stay White, Miami
At the end of yesterday's victory parade for the Miami Heat, Shaq grabbed the microphone and asked, "Who wanna see Coach Riley dance?" For reasons I can't begin to understand, the people of Miami responded affirmatively, and then the following took place: More » -
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nba
Rileyball To Rear Its Ugly Head
Well, here we go. Pat Riley, shown above after being asked about the size of Shaquille O'Neal's penis, has made clear his intention to ugly up the NBA Finals. They're going to roll with a little more "Rileyball," which is, of course, another term for ugly basketball. For examples, see any of the playoff games between the Knicks and the Heat from the late-90s, an era which nearly killed basketball. More » -
nba
Tracking The NBA Death Pool
From the Creepy And Mean Yet Fascinating department comes this entry from upstart NBA blog The Association: The NBA Death Pool. Which NBA player/coach with no business playing/coaching will drop dead at just the wrong moment? More » -
nba
"Greed -- For Lack Of A Better Word -- Is Good."
Well, it might have taken a little longer than some might have expected, and it might have been for those always-vague, always-intriguing "personal reasons," but the moment we all knew was inevitable is finally here: Pat Riley is back coaching the Miami Heat again. More »
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