We're bringing back our popular "Dark Side of the Locker Room" series, which you'll remember was a compendium of journalists' bizarre, amusing and previously undocumented encounters with athletes (and often athletes' genitalia). Got a story? Send it to email@example.com.
What would the sports world have looked like had Deadspin been around 20 years ago? Well, exactly the same as it looked back then, of course, but we still would have found a ridiculous amount of joy in making fun of the sports planet's more ridiculous humans.