In "Secrets of a Hollywood SuperMadam," an autobiography due in bookstores Thursday, Gibson names two dozen celebrities she says patronized her call-girl service. A review of the court file shows that Gibson listed actor Bruce Willis; former Dodgers Manager Tom Lasorda; Steve Jones, the Sex Pistols guitarist and KDLE-FM (103.1) radio jock; and the late film producer Don Simpson, among others.

"I have never heard of this woman and don't know why she would accuse me of something like this," Lasorda said in a statement issued by his attorney, Tony Capozzola. "But if she prints these lies, I intend to sue."

We eagerly await further explanation from Tommy Lasorda's Blog; we can't imagine that guy dipping body parts into anything more controversial than plates of penne, personally. But maybe we're just trying to protect our brain there.

L.A. Madam's 'Trick Book' Is Unsealed [Los Angeles Times]
Tommy Lasorda's Blog [MLB Blogs]

You really have to just listen to the clip. Go ahead. We'll wait here.

All right, first off, Lasorda is clearly out of his mind (oh, and still really into porn.) Even he has no idea what he's talking about. But along those lines, the victim of his aggression, radio sidekick Mark Willard, sort of betrays himself a bit here too, with his immediate backing down and apologies to the crazy old bat on the other end of his telephone. We mean, Tommy Lasorda is a toddering old man who seems to barely know where he is anymore. No need to apologize: Just wait the man out, and pretty soon he'll start screaming about how he once ate pasta off the left breast of Angie Dickinson. It's Lasorda!

But we don't mean to sound so "smart," and we apologize

Lasorda Drop-Kicks Radio Show Sidekick [Sports By Brooks]
Tommy Lasorda's Flight Reading [Deadspin]