Also, Peter Gammons has been discussing some MVP candidates on his Insider Blog, which is currently free for some reason. One of the more unusual candidates IS rookie catcher Geovany Soto, who has 18 home runs and one mediocre goatee.

And my domestic partners at Walkoff Walk pointed out this guy who can't seem to name the Gwinnett Braves new mascot. You can check it out here, but it's basically your stock chipmunk humanoid wearing a baseball cap and glove. Why the fuck are people dressing animals like people? I'd rather name a mascot in his natural habitat; lying dead on the side of the road, for example.

Cubs 6, Marlins 5 [Worldwide Leader]
Peter Gammons on ESPN Insider [Land Of Sports Whoredom]
Geovany Soto player profile [ESPN]
Help Uncreative Ad Execs Name This Anthropomorphic Rodent [Walkoff Walk]
Daryle Ward [image credit]

Whenever people fall into the old "blogs vs. MSM" argument, we always point them in Gammons' direction. There is perhaps no more respected and diligent member of the "mainstream" press, and Gammons not only speaks of all the blogs he reads, but keeps up a pretty great one himself.

And he's healthy now, which is a relief to everybody. And rocking. Even if he does rock with Theo Epstein from time to time.

So: Do you like the Peter Gammons? Do you not like the Peter Gammons? Fire it up.

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Apparently, Gammons played at a charity concert the other night and performed a song he wrote about the Mitchell Report and steroids. A tasty excerpt:

Then one day I got a call from Mitchell's henchmen
Seems my name showed up where it shouldn't have been
Now I'm back at the Wal-Mart working midnight to nine
Playing beer league softball in lieu of ten years time
In lieu of ten years time

The Steroid Blues! We love it. Also at the concert: Bronson Arroyo, who took the opportunity to once again beg his way back to Boston. Reds fans have to just love that.

The Mitchell Report Song [Boston.com]
Dear Boston, I Miss You [Bostonist]

When you combine this with Peter Gammons' recent report than baseball players are buying the iPhone like crazy, well, you've got an instant classic Dugout. The premise: Baseball players were having enough trouble typing as was.

Gammondorf: Yoi can type pretry well if you spend enougj timw typing yourt message. That last sentence toik me 25 mimutes.

pr0ff3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: Htf is franswirth mclane supoosed to talk loke a jaded basass if it uppertcases all my thoights and wishers.

It makes sense, though, that the iPhone would be the way Manny Ramirez would truly be able to communicate his deeper nature.

The Star-Studded iPhone Spectacular [The Dugout]

(Photo via Seeking Alpha.)

Well, in one of those odd scoops Peter Gammons likes to throw in his columns every once in a while just to keep us on our toes — our favorite is the one from a few years ago when he talked about the educated but racist pitcher most people assumed was Mike Mussina — apparently the reason they canceled the game is because the guy who was supposed to pitch was drunk. (Link via Seattlest)

The reason the 2002 All-Star Game ended up tied was that a pitcher on one of the two teams was imbibing in the clubhouse and was not in condition to pitch, hence the game ended.

Every pitcher on both teams did make it in the game that year, so we're not sure exactly what he's referring to; was there one guy who had been slated to come back in but was too busy doing Jager shots? If that's the case, we're just going to assume it was Schilling.

Who Was Too Drunk To Pitch In The 2002 All-Star Game? [Seattlest]

For now, he's happy to toil as an intern in any baseball-operations department, so he will spend the next three days meeting as many people as he can. ... Whether it's costing someone a bigger playoff share or becoming the bane of every Baltimorean, Maier long ago got used to the look when meeting people. It's the initial stunned silence, followed by the raised eyebrows, punctuated by some sort of exclamation - sometimes laudatory, others of the seven-dirty-words variety.

He's got a sit-down with the Arizona Diamondbacks on Wednesday, and Peter Gammons is trying to get him face-to-faces with a few other teams, too. After not getting drafted this year, Maier spent the summer scouting the Cape Cod League for Gammons. Here were kids he played with and against for years, and now he was on the flip side.

We love the idea of Gammons, amused by having Maier tagging along and writing little tidbits about various former Maier teammates, taking him under his wing and saying, "Hey, here's a room full of Orioles fans. Enjoy." And then tiptoeing away mischievously. It's good to have friends in high places. He's totally gonna run the Nationals someday.

Jeff Maier At Winter Meetings [Yahoo Sports]
Orioles Considering Drafting Blast From The Past [Deadspin]

The first clue that my cell towers were intact came right around the trading deadline, approximately a month after my aneurysm. By that time, I had been transferred from the Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston to the Rehabilitation Hospital of the Cape and the Islands. I was perusing the morning box scores in the Cape Cod Times when I brusquely asked my nurse, "Linda, how did Austin Kearns get to the Nationals?"

Seriously, his first question back ... and it's a great one. (It's not the aneurysm, Peter: Nobody still knows how that happened.) Welcome back, Peter. Just in time for the playoffs. Outstanding to have you here.

Oh, and if you're looking around the office for Harold ... well, don't ask. Long story.

Still Believing In Man's Goodness And Dignity [ESPN]
Old Hickory Returns [Baseball Musings]

(By the way, we usually don't begrudge ESPN for making stories Insider: Not everything on the Web is supposed to be free, and hey, you gotta make up all the money lost by ESPN Mobile somehow. But making people buy Insider to read Peter Gammons' first column after returning from an aneurysm is just mean, and absolutely unacceptable.)

(UPDATE: The story is no longer Insider. Good move; applause, applause.)

(SECOND UPDATE: So it appears we were mistaken, and it was never Insider. Even better.)

ESPN baseball analyst and Hall of Fame baseball writer Peter Gammons saw his first live baseball game in quite a while yesterday, taking in a few innings of Game 1 of the Cape League's West Division playoffs at Lowell Park.

The story says Gammons was introduced before the game and, predictably, received a huge ovation. (We expect something similar, but much louder, when he makes it to Fenway.) He says it will "be a while" until he's back on the job — presuming he has avoided being handsy with the staff — and, like a lot of you, we suspect, that time can't come soon enough. Welcome (almost) back, Peter.

Gammons Back At The Ballfield [Cape Cod Times]

(UPDATE: Cape Cod Baseball has a photo of Gammons. It's also after the jump.)

Gammons' CD, "Never Slow Down, Never Grow Old", arrived at our apartment the other day, and you know what? It's really not that bad. Having suffered through the crime against humanity that was "Oh Say Can You Sing" — which featured banjo stylings of Matt Ginter and the rock selections of Scott Linebrink — we were nervous, but it's actually not too shabby, in an aging, less stoned Tom Petty type of way. We were actually surprised.

Anyway, get back soon, Peter. We're expecting a big Fenway Park ovation by August.

Gammons Released From Hospital [ESPN]
"Never Slow Down, Never Grow Old" [Amazon]

No matter what your thoughts about ESPN or "Baseball Tonight" or anything along those lines, it's always been difficult not to like Peter Gammons. Our favorite anecdote, from today's Boston Globe, is that Gammons recently "worked an ESPN 'Sunday Night Baseball' game in Los Angeles, took a red-eye home and was at Fenway at 9 the next morning for the Sox' Patriots Day game." You don't do that unless you really love what you're doing, and you could tell. Plus, you have to love a baseball writer with a rock CD coming out on July 4.

We wish Gammons and his family all the best, and hope for a speedy recovery.

Peter Gammons Has An Aneurysm [Boston Globe]

It was one thing when Mel Kiper had to deal with the indignity of having his daggum top 10 messed up. It was another when Stephen A. Smith smugly pointed out to Tim Legler that all those papers were holding him back. It was another when Trey Wingo invaded our home through direct mail.

But — and we recognize that we are often perceived as Peter Gammons apologists and therefore were more depressed by this than some others might have been — to see Gammons shamelessly hawking the ESPN Mobile phone through bad acting ("Can this guy ever throw a STRIKE?") and the same stupid catchphrasery we've always thought he was above ... well, it just made us sad. We probably shouldn't have been so surprised, we know.

On the whole, Gammons eschews the Peter King School For Revelation Of Personal Minutiae for more This General Manager Is A Brilliant Man And This Prospect Is Going To Blow Your Mind business. But yesterday, out of nowhere, Gammons decided to tell us What's On His iPod.

Gammons, of course, is renowned for his rockability, particular his rather fierce love for Pearl Jam. And not surprisingly, of Gammons' 20 songs, two songs from Vedder and Company make the list. What else rocks Gammons' balls off?

• "Mr. Brightside," The Killers
• "This Is Us," Emmylou Harris
• "Sneakin' Sally Through the Alley," Robert Palmer
• "Riding in the Backseat," The Gentlemen.

This got us to thinking: What's on the iPods of other ESPN personalities? Some guesses:

• Sean Salibury, "Tell Me Why," Backstreet Boys
• Gary Miller, anything by R. Kelly
• Stephen A. Smith, ANYTHING LOUD

A Top-20 iPod Countdown [ESPN Insider]

But anyway, that's not the most horrifying mental image your sports pages bring you today anyway. From Peter Gammons' Sunday blog, about Roger Clemens' "training habits:"

All the Team USA pitchers — and pitching coach Marcel Lachemann — were in awe of Roger Clemens. But one thing they weren't ready for was Clemens taking that Icy Hot that pitchers rub on their shoulders and arms and spreading it over his upper thighs and private parts. "He doesn't want to get comfortable on the mound," says Jake Peavy, who tried the same trick Friday night in Phoenix.

That's right, folks; Roger Clemens spreads Icy Hot on his crotch. This explains so, so much.

Peter Gammons' Blog [ESPN Insider]
Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback [SI.com]

ESPN says Gammons will be a regular on the Sunday night broadcasts, though it's not known yet whether he will be in the booth with Morgan and Jon Miller, or if he will be "in the stands." We have a fear that Gammons — whom we genuinely like — will be reduced to Jim Grey status if he's mulling around the stands, so we'll cross our fingers that he's in the booth.

Particularly if he can reign in Morgan a little bit. We are desperate to see some classic Morgan-Gammons discussions on Billy Beane, traditional baseball statistics and (fingers crossed!) Pete Rose. It'll be awesome.

Gammons To Make Three In ESPN Announcing Team [USA Today]

From today's Peter Gammons column:

Go buy the soundtrack to "Lords of Dogtown" just to hear Social Distortion's remake of the Clash classic, "Death or Glory." Hence the lead to this column.

Our heads are still kind of spinning a little bit. Someday Peter's gonna destroy his guitar on the "Baseball Tonight" set and bit the head of a bat, and we're really gonna lose it. Bet Kruk will love it, though.

Trade Market Not At All Hopping [ESPN.com]