Russell Wilson’s Ball-Bread Is Fucking Weird

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering failed romantic gestures, Oscar stuff, hamburgers and sex, and more. » 2/24/15 2:21pm 2/24/15 2:21pm

What Was Wrong With Peyton Manning?

Everyone who watched the Broncos lose to the Colts yesterday could see that something wasn't right with Peyton Manning. He spent the first half air-mailing wobbly deep balls and the second half firing short, non-lethal passes while generally looking like an overmatched old guy. So what the hell was wrong with him? » 1/12/15 11:33am 1/12/15 11:33am

What Do The Broncos Do Now?

Peyton Manning did not look right today. Maybe it was his vague thigh injury, surgically repaired neck, or some other ailment, but his throws were inaccurate and rough. Manning barely completed half of his passes, finishing 26 of 46 with one touchdown and 211 passing yards. The Colts go to the AFC championship game… » 1/11/15 10:27pm 1/11/15 10:27pm

Steve Young Compares Peyton Manning To Obama, Or Something

I think Steve Young is trying to say that for Denver to beat Cincinnati tonight Peyton Manning needs to play well—which, duh—but did he need to use some garbled metaphor about Manning, Obama, and dictatorship to do it? Or is he trying to sneak some political commentary about Obama—go search Twitter for "Obama" and… » 12/22/14 8:41pm 12/22/14 8:41pm

Credit The Bills' Defense, Because Their Offense Sucks So Hard

The Bills pulled off an upset of sorts yesterday at home, beating the 10-win Packers, 21-13. Buffalo now has its first eight-win season since 2004; the defense should be largely thanked for that. » 12/15/14 3:50pm 12/15/14 3:50pm

What Did RG3 Say That Peyton Manning Hasn't?

In terms of RG3 takes, it appears we're not quite out of the woods. The quarterback's comments after Washington's pratfall against Tampa Bay—in which he more or less said football is a team effort—gave everyone the opportunity to take a swing at the already-half-broken piñata. Here's one more bad take, from Brian… » 11/19/14 2:06pm 11/19/14 2:06pm

Chart: All Of Peyton Manning's Pick-Sixes, By Defender And Distance

Hey, remember that cool chart from last week, visualizing all of Peyton Manning's regular season touchdowns? Well, it missed a few. In belated honor of Peyton's record-setting career throwing touchdowns, here are all the touchdowns he's thrown to the other team. » 10/31/14 2:25pm 10/31/14 2:25pm

Foods That Taste Good But Aren’t Shitty For You: A Matrix

Peyton Manning Has Had It With The Broncos' Scoreboard Operator

Peyton Manning was his usual brilliant self last night's win, tossing for 286 yards and three TDs in what eventually turned into a rout of San Diego. But, ever the perfectionist, he showed his anger both during and after the game with the guy controlling the scoreboard at Mile High. » 10/24/14 9:09am 10/24/14 9:09am

Peyton Manning's 510 Touchdowns, Visualized By Distance And Receiver

Here's a sleek-looking chart of Peyton Manning's 510 career touchdowns, put together by data artist Max Einstein at You'll want to expand the image or view the full-sized version on his site—it has every TD pass listed chronologically, displayed by distance, and includes clusters for each receiver… » 10/21/14 1:32pm 10/21/14 1:32pm

Manning's Keep-Away Celebration Was Planned, Practiced, Therefore Corny

After Peyton Manning tossed his record-breaking 509th career touchdown last night, the Broncos' receiving corps took the newly historic ball and razzed their quarterback with a seemingly impromptu game of keep-away. It was fun to see the stoic and anal-retentive Manning hopping around like a kid on a playground, for… » 10/20/14 9:44am 10/20/14 9:44am

What Kind Of Bullshit Is This Peyton Manning Shirt?

Peyton Manning broke the NFL touchdown pass record tonight, and we get this. What is this shit? This isn't clever! Someone just figured out that a "1" and "I" are similar enough, and didn't care about the rest. Manning made HIBTORY tonight. Cool. » 10/19/14 10:32pm 10/19/14 10:32pm

Peyton Manning Throws 509th Career TD Pass, Sets NFL Record

Peyton Manning is the new NFL touchdown pass king after his eight-yard pass to Demaryius Thomas put the Broncos up 21-3 tonight against the 49ers. Watch the ceremony above—complete with keep-away— and the record-setting pass below. » 10/19/14 9:55pm 10/19/14 9:55pm

It Took 36 Browns QBs 28 Seasons To Match Peyton Manning's 500 TDs

Peyton Manning reached 500 touchdown passes yesterday. Five hundred is an arbitrary number. (A nice, round number that enshrines him in the elite company of one, but arbitrary nonetheless.) How can you truly grasp the weight of an arbitrary number? Set it as the constant, and see how extreme the other variables can… » 10/06/14 3:17pm 10/06/14 3:17pm

NFL Statistical Milestones That Could Be Reached This Season

With the NFL season near, here's a list of statistical achievements to watch out for courtesy of Pro Football Reference data. » 8/27/14 5:33pm 8/27/14 5:33pm

Peyton Manning Penalized For Jawing At Texans DB Who Concussed Welker

In the final seconds of the first half of Texans-Broncos last night, Houston safety D.J. Swearinger hit Wes Welker with a shoulder pad/forearm shot to the helmet. Though he did so slowly, Welker did get up on his own and took himself out of the game. He immediately went to the locker room where it was determined he… » 8/24/14 10:31am 8/24/14 10:31am

Colin Kaepernick And Russell Wilson Get The Most Out Of Completions

Passing in the NFL comes in any number of flavors, but the general trend has been an emphasis more efficiency, higher completion percentage, and overall, shorter passes. Peyton Manning and Tom Brady and all those guys. But Colin Kaepernick and Russell Wilson don't have time for all that. » 7/30/14 6:05pm 7/30/14 6:05pm